I've been growing cucumbers for about a month now. What am I doing wrong?

I've been growing cucumbers for about a month now. What am I doing wrong?

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You really put the "u" in cucumber huh

Nothing, that cucumber is fine.

The reason you only see perfectly straight ones in the supermarket is because they don't put the crooked ones out for individual sale. Walmart doesn't want people thinking they're buying "defective" produce.

looks like you aren't watering 'em enough, user.

needs some viagra

gardeningknowhow.com/edible/vegetables/cucumber/cucumbers-not-straight.htm
>Often, this results in curly cucumber fruit, or otherwise deformed cucumbers, and one huge disappointment for gardeners who waited all winter for perfect, straight fruits.
kek

You have to use electro shock treatment to get straight cucumbers.

Looks like it could hit your prostate. Nothing wrong with a lil internal tickling, user.

Indiana doesn't even HAVE cuisine.

Try putting some tiddies in your garden

You can do that with a straight cucumber too.

This. There are always variants on the vine due to the trellis structure, watering or unknowns. Commercial growers just separate those for other purposes, like prechopped salads or sysco dependent restaurants.

It's trully amazing that someone growing their own food (obviously for the first time) thinks something is wrong. It shows how far away we are from how our food is raised and what it looks like when it grows. One of the elements that make for such a savage indictment of modern society.

see
Uneven watering or poor pollination.

Congrats, you just grew a cucumber you can throw away and it'll come back.

no, cucumbers in all media and all supermarkets (the most common place for common people to buy things) have straight faggot pre-pickles. they only curl when they brine

Yeah but you have to buy them a few drinks so you can take advantage of them.

...

Fun fact: This basically applies to all vegetables. People will only buy perfect, beautiful vegetables.

On top of that they put out WAY more produce than is actually going to get purchased because people get totally put off by the last few vegetables thinking they were ignored because because they were "defective". So a lot of it is just decoration and inevitably gets thrown out when the sell by date passes.

>I ain't chinna play my games with no DEAL-DOUGH

did it grow against a wall?

Holy kek you made my morning

tfw my dick curves back at me fully erect.

This is why blue apron is so great. Hypochondriac spergs shopping at the grocery store finger fuck every god damm piece on display until half the stuff us mushy and gouged with fingernail marks.

At least with BA the stuff gets to you sorted by someone who is just doing a job and is in relatively decent unmolested condition.

i'm growing cucumbers right now too OP, the first one is pretty close to the ground maybe ill get a bendy one too

They are supposed to look like this.
Originally it is called "snake cucumber" (or something to that effect), and the ones you get in the store has been genetically altered for logistical reasons.