Hey Veeky Forums, not a normal browser of you guys but I need your help/advice

all the best things in life*

also learn to google it's pretty easy
>wine boldness chart
So reds are all "tanic" its the acid in the grape varietal ( varietals are the name of the wine type ) the darker/bolder the wine the more tannins in the grape. maybe buy a rose, it would also be another safe choice I guess but don't break the bank is all i'm saying.

Rose is safe, just read the label and pick something interesting.
Why the fuck does this bitch keep her wine in the fridge????

Thank you. I think op is so ignorant about wine he doesn't realize she has sorority tier wine tastes and he's wasting his money.

Maybe buy yourself a bottle and get cultured as well

pretty much, If it's in the fridge she probably doesn't care. It'll be a nice gesture no matter what you get her.

Actually I know the perfect wine for op now. It's obvious really. Look if he wants to blow a wad of cash, look fancy, and be sure she enjoys the flavor he obviously must go with a mid to high end champagne.

Appreciate the suggestions, thank you.

Alright cool, that's two for not putting too much emphasis on price.

Two for "rose" as well. And yeah I got no clue man, it's all Greek to me so I didn't even question it.

>I think op is so ignorant about wine
Absolutely dude, that's what I was trying to get across when I started, but I do still want to make the gesture regardless.

This is the answer then, I'm sure of it.

Nah see, champagne comes off as a celebratory drink to me, and again like I said, I want to get this as something she can pull out and drink with friends whenever.

I don't wanna steer to far away from what I came to ask about but I'm always curious to get other peoples opinions on this. I don't drink anything alcoholic because, to me personally, anything with any alcohol what so ever just tastes horrible, regardless of what else is there to mask it. I can honestly say I would *LOVE* to find something alcoholic I can drink socially if it didn't taste like ass (to me).

So, that being said, what would you suggest? I'm going to a vineyard VERY soon for said birthday party and I'm open to suggestions.

> Too Celebratory
>It's her birthday
>When she drinks with her friends on her birthday it will be a celebration

Jesus fuck this is some kinda autism. Champagne MOST matches the theme of your card toom

Champagne would also be a great gift, bubbles are for celebration after all and it's not necessarily expensive. maybe look for a cheap sparkling white, as it is champagne, but its only TRULY champagne if it's made in france.

Interesting fact, most wine is't vegan, they distil a lot of reds through bones of animals.

I really don't think she's going to open the bottle of wine I get while she's at a VINEYARD. Again, I appreciate the suggestion, it's actually kind of funny I hadn't thought of it but that's really not what I had in mind.

Worth noting perfect example of how you can get your point across politely or just be a dick about it.

>only TRULY champagne if it's made in france.

I actually knew that, for some reason things like that are interesting to know.

>Interesting fact, most wine is't vegan, they distil a lot of reds through bones of animals.

That I did NOT know, also very interesting.

Bubbles might get you invited over desu

Kek, I've already been invited over, a couple times. I'm not entirely positive, but I wouldn't be surprised if people head back to her place after eating/drinking. But that may just me being hopeful, we'll see.

From the sounds of it you're in the friendzone. Don't buy her anything unless you already put your dick in her because she's gonna find it super creepy otherwise.

Not trying to be a cunt I hope you do get to fuck her and all that but take off the fedora beforehand

Deff go with the champagne. You ever heard of mimosas OP? Well guess what, butches lives mimosas. And I'm sure you new friend will do just fine with that.

/thread

Get her a cast of your penis

No offense taken. I've definitely considered it and it's possible, but she's not just some chick I'm trying to bang, she's wife material easy.

Ridiculously intelligent, incredibly successful and driven, travels the world. Shit's ridiculous man, I'm reaching HARD with her, but I gotta try.

This will prob just dump gasoline on the fire of you thinking I'm friendzoned, but this won't be the first time I've got her a birthday present, so I can at least say I know she won't think it's creepy. And no, I didn't drop a ton of money on the previous gifts, small stuff, 20-30 bucks.

Amarone at $50 you can't lose

>this won't be the first time I've got her a birthday present

So you've known her for over a year? You're in the friendzone to the max man. Plus the overseas traveler type chicks want pipe right away. You could still fuck her anything is possible but defiantly stop approaching it from the angle you're at right now.

Calling it a night, so far votes seem to be

3-4 for champagne, which I'm pretty opposed to, but will still take into consideration

2 for rose, which just for my own personal clarification, that's " rosé " right? Where it's not technically a red wine?

1-2 for moscato (although I question if anyone would have mentioned it if I hadn't brought it up first)

1 for Amarone, which I get the idea is a specific type of red

Dunno how fast Veeky Forums moves but I'll check back in tomorrow to see if this thread is still alive and give it a bump if so. Appreciate the input from everyone.

bump

>I do know she drinks wine, been over to her place when she was a little tipsy

don't spend $100 on a bottle of wine if she's just going to get drunk on it. good wine is meant to be savored and enjoyed, not to get drunk off of.

also voting for Côtes du Rhône Grenache

Rose. Bitches love rose. Chill it down in the fridge. Make a charcuterie plate of buttery cheeses, crostini, and some nicer cold cuts. You will be swimmin in puss.

Don't fuck it up for OP. Veeky Forums can use it's powers for good so that op gets to shoot his squiggle milk into this bish.

So CDR is the type of wine (various grape mixture) and the specific type you're suggesting I get would be one that's primarily Grenache grapes, yes?

Please, I beg of you, at least one person confirm this for me. the 3 people that have now mentioned "rose" are suggesting a rosé wine right? With the little....w/e that's called over the e? I get that unless you're spanish it's prob not on your keyboard, but I just want at least one person to clarify.

I find the fixation on 100% grenache CDR to be a bit strange. CDR and blend go hand in hand, it makes much more sense to pay a little attention to vintages and makers and not get so hung up on proportions. the only single-grape CDR that particularly stood out for me was a 100% syrah and desu senpai if I were to go for a pure syrah crozes hermitage is going to be a notch up the quality scale than your average CDR and not too much more expensive
anyone saying "bitches love _____" is a confirmed child or a pederast. we're also pulling out of rose season. also I just read your pricing ideas, which are batshit crazy. $40 is already overkill. if you're going for a crowd-pleasing yet "fine" wine I'd get an auslese riesling from a decent house. donnhoff is pretty easy to find and should be within your budget. good rose tends to be on the dry side (there are exceptions but they are so rare they're not worth mentioning)

champagne is one of those things that everyone will say they love but if they're being honest, 5 times out of 10 they don't, unless it's a demi-sec or something along those lines, which no one will admit they like, even though they do

>she got a laugh out of showing me the 3-4 bottles in the fridge

Why do women do this ? They glorify wine and chocolate because of those stupid shows they watch

you mean immature women. probably for the same reason immature guys line their shelves with "rare empties" and glorify "EDC" and other stupid shit

>$40 is already overkill
The price ranges weren't a "Guys I have to spend at least this much!" It was a mixture of "I have this much I can spend max" and me having literally no idea how much bottles of wine cost. I have no problem buying something cheap so long as it doesn't -taste- cheap, and I don't get judged as though I just bought her boxed wine.

>auslese riesling
Was just reading up on this, and they make a big deal of commenting on a "petrol" flavor. Asking from the standpoint of ignorance, is this really something most people enjoy? Since I don't actually know her taste in wine I'm trying to go for a safe bet.

lol, Weird. But yeah, honestly champagne just really isn't what I had in mind. If I was just gonna crack it open on the spot and spray that shit everywhere, maybe. But I'm not. I'm gonna hand it to her, prob in a bag, she'll take it home and open it at a later date.

If you really insist on no champagne I recommend a Portuguese vinho verde. It's slightly effervescent, dry, with flavors of apple and lemon. It's low key in the wine world right now but is sure to be an up and comer with white wine fans. Because it's low key it's price isn't inflated and you'll look super savvy.

Been looking more into your suggestions and I feel so inept.
For some reason, no idea why, I had it in my mind rose were sweet. I think maybe because everyone that mentioned them said they were generally "safe" and most people enjoy sweet things. You said rose tend to be dry, so I looked that up (out of my element here) and while looking into it, the second most sweet grouping of (white) wines has auslese riesling. But when I looked that up it talks a lot its "petrol" flavor. How the fuck does something taste both sweet AND like petrol. wtf.

>as it doesn't -taste- cheap, and I don't get judged as though I just bought her boxed wine.
Under $40 is not what I would consider "cheap" unless you live in Saudi Arabia or some place like that. In America, under $20 is where you need to start being paranoid that the wine is loaded with adjuncts (although there are certainly adjuncts in more expensive wines)

There's something to be said for factoring in the price of a gift as part of the message you're sending, and I am not going to say don't spend $40 because some wines (like champagne) just don't come cheap.

>a "petrol" flavor

I wouldn't worry too much about that, it's not like the wine literally tastes like petrol, it's just a characteristic of the aging that most ausleses receive, and wine tasters need some kind of common references that sometimes sound strange. Like when people say "wet granite" or "flint" or "leather", it's just poetic license along with a need to describe finer details that would otherwise require complicated and inconvenient chemical names.

And unless you're getting a particularly funky example (JJ Prum being an example of a "funkier" yet still common and prestigious riesling), it's more likely to remind you of apples and maybe honey.

You could try a kabinett if you're really worried about petrol (you shouldn't be), but the sugar levels tend to be lower (although as long as you stick to the old school producers you'll still get enough sugar for it to be obviously a "sweet wine")

Most of the time when you hear people say "oh riesling is shit" it's because they're drinking shit riesling. And shit riesling does not have the "petrol notes" that you are reading about because it's meant to be consumed with no age.

Okay, so the flavor is actually a lot more minor than what I was reading into it, good to know.

No, I said *good* roses are *usually* dry, not that rose is, by definition, dry. In most people's minds, the benchmark against which rose is measured is southern french rose - cotes de provence specifically. It's everywhere, it's usually not too expensive, and it's never worse than ok. But good rose comes from all over and need not be dry. I've tasted an excellent sweet spatburgunder rose from germany, for instance.

Most of the sweet pink wines people associate with "bad rose" are sold as "blush" (boxed white zinfandel) but in recent decades calling them rose and putting them in a fancier bottle has become a thing, as the stigma against blush wines has become more widely known. As a general rule (rose but really any wine), if it's less than $20, you should go dry. Inexpensive sweet wine is noxious.

Just buy her a bottle of graham beck brut rose and be done with it. Sparkling rose is super hip right now. The bubbles and gold foil will make her feel like it's something special and the rose is an easy drinking wine that she'll actually enjoy without having to figure out exactly qualities in wine she really likes.

Some people are more sensitive to that sort of thing than others. There are people who prefer their wines to have some "interesting" characteristics (flavors and aromas sometimes described as grass, leather, minerals, cat piss, petrol, mushrooms, wet soil, etc). There are people who prefer their wines to be as "clean" and "fruity/floral" tasting/smelling as possible. And there are people who drink both depending what they're in the mood for.

Aged wines are more likely to have those "interesting" characteristics, but sometimes it's inverted - like when a very tannic and harsh red wine seems to "soften" over the years. The "interesting" characteristics can be a defect (when they occur in the wrong proportion to the other characteristics of the wine like the acid level, alcohol level, sugar level and so on), and sometimes they can be what make the wine desirable and prevent it from being boring and "just like all the rest". Sometimes, they can be a defect for one person and a prized characteristic for another.

It isn't easy to explain how or why, sometimes you just have to drink it and see what you like.

We have a winner Veeky Forums!

Was just texting her about the party, vineyard, etc. and managed to slip in there asking her what her favorite is. Rose it is! She said she liked "medium wines", "I don't like super sweet or super dry wines." "and Pinot noir is a classic favorite."

Again, asking from the stand point of ignorance, I assume there's really no helping beyond that right? Now I just need to go somewhere and see what they have available? Or are certain (really good) labels widespread enough I could reliably look for a particular suggested bottle?

If it is still slightly warm in your area a sparkling rose is nice

>"I don't like super sweet or super dry wines." "and Pinot noir is a classic favorite."
My pleb-o-meter is going off, get her a bottle of Meiomi, she'll probably love it

Pinot noir is not rose user. It's a versatile mild red wine that's one of the few recommended to pair with fish (usually fatty fish like salmon)

Lol pleb-o-meter. I chuckled thanks user. This whole thread has been a waste of time this nigga could asked her last night and picked up some basic shit from bevmo and been done with it but no he had to drag us into it.

Ohio, been in the 60's or 70's recently. Not sure whether that qualifies as slightly warm for your tastes. I'd call it cool.

>My pleb-o-meter is going off
>Meiomi
Would you care to expand... it's a pinot noir, and now I'm more or less dead set on a rose. I just googled Meiomi and the first thing to come up was the "permanently closed" advertisement on the right. I feel like there's a joke here I prob can't appreciate.

Yeah, I'm definitely leaning more toward rose, both because of her word and the several suggestions posted here prior.

Rose is not a kind of grape, user. You can make rose out of pinot noir same as any other red grape

It's an excuse to shitpost about wine, the usual beer and whisky shitposting gets tiresome over the years. I mean Veeky Forums as a whole is a waste of time, why should one thread be any more of a waste than any other

Meiomi is a "pinot noir" (I use the term loosely) for people who are unsure of what they like, maybe don't know too much about wine (certainly not enough to be willing to express a real opinion or preference without panicking that someone will tell them they're "wrong"). The flavors were precision crafted by some of the most respected men in the business. Men who know what people who love the idea of wine, but maybe are a bit afraid of wine, will love. It, alongside Apothic Red, have been enormously successful at hooking young millennials on wine. Apothic for the "I want something big and bold". Meiomi for the "not too strong, not too weak (actually I literally want a bottle of smuckers jam with vanilla extract and 14.7% alcohol but I'm too afraid to admit it)"

Everything she said pegs her as a Meiomi customer. Get her the Meiomi. You can't go wrong. Or maybe she fancies herself a hipster, in which case get her Elouan which is Meiomi for people who love the idea of Oregon PN because like California is too mainstream maaaaan.

Usually when people refer to the varietal by name they aren't looking for the rose version that's all I meant.

I see lol, understand now, chuckled a little internally.
I get how someone who fancies themselves a connoisseur would look down on people who are less knowledgeable, it's always nice to see yourself as "better" than any given group, but speaking as someone who wants to enjoy -something- alcoholic socially but hates the taste of the limited selection he's tried, it actually makes me want to try it myself. It's hard to hate something that's made specifically so you can enjoy it, regardless of the fact it's made so -everyone- can enjoy it.

I don't enjoy it.

I don't really see myself as a connoisseur, more of a serial shitposter who likes wine. I don't have anything against Apothic. I don't particularly like Apothic, but it's fine if you do. I don't particularly like 7 Deadly Zins, or Menage a Trois, or Layer Cake, but it's fine if you do.

Meiomi is different. Meiomi, and its drinkers, attract special hate because it is (and the drinkers are) pretentious. I don't mean "pretentious" in the way Veeky Forums means by pretentious, where Heinz ketchup is said to be pretentious because it's ever so slightly fancier than Great Value. What I mean by pretentious is pretentious in the actual, original meaning of the word. Meaning, affecting a greater degree of culture than you actually have. Meiomi is wildly popular with people who picked up somewhere the idea that liking pinot noir is "classy" and "safe". They might feel they're a little too good for Apothic. That's a bit too "common" for them. But they still like the Apothic style of wine. They want Apothic, but they want to *say* they like (and drink) pinot noir. Even if they don't necessarily know (or care) what pinot noir tastes like, nor would they necessarily like it if they did. And so Joe Wagner stepped up, and filled that niche.

To rub salt in the wounds, this style of "pinot noir" is proliferating. If I see an unknown pinot noir, if it's not something I've tasted and trust, I pretty much just avoid it.

Ahh, I see, so it's the -people- not the drink. That's understandable, I can actually get behind that fully. You do kinda lose me on the last bit though?
>If I see an unknown pinot noir, if it's not something I've tasted and trust, I pretty much just avoid it.
I don't understand the dislike of the people letting it color a dislike of a drink you haven't had.

But maybe I don't understand that last bit because I need a bit of clarification. You originally described it as a "pinot noir" emphasis on quotes. Something either is, or is not made with those grapes right? I think there's still something there I'm just not familiar enough with to understand.

>Something either is, or is not made with those grapes right?
Well yes and no. California regulations are lax so just because a wine has a single grape on the label doesn't rule out that there were other grapes added to "tweak" the taste. Sometimes it's straight up normal juice just from other kinds of grapes. Other times it's a compound called mega purple which is "made from 100% grapes" and thus perfectly legal. It's used to jazz up a wine, make it inky black, make the fruit "pop", and to conceal faults. So a wine might say "99% from this grape" and 1% doesn't sound like much, but it takes much less than 1% of mega purple (really just a few drops) to drastically change the way the wine looks, smells, and tastes. Some of those other "pinot noirs" that don't taste like pinot noir are substantially higher % non-PN grapes, but Meiomi is about 99%.

Then there's what people call "varietal character" which is really just a way of saying "I think wine made from this grape should always taste like ____ and never like ______". That's supposed to sound all botanistic and objective although it can be somewhat unfair because a literal genetic clone of the same grape makes wine with different characteristics depending on where it's grown and how it's turned into wine.

But even allowing for some leeway with hot California climate and stronger tasting oak, the people behind Meiomi clearly have no interest in giving a recognizable "pinot noir" experience. They've said as much, it shows from the taste, and people have done lab tests and found that the numbers are way off from what "normal" pinot noir would be. It's probably a combination of knowing how to manipulate the grapes, and adding/subtracting stuff with advanced technology (mega purple and so on).

Southwestern france rose it'll be sugary and made for chilling under the sun they like doing that there

>Cheesecake Factory gift card
Jesus Christ, you're beyond saving.

Yeah I was gonna look for that, as mentioned by this guy Do they label on wines where they're made? Or do you have to know the type of wine ahead of time to know where it's produced?

I'm genuinely surprised it's taken this long to get a comment on the gift card. I was actually going to preemptively say something about it but I figured I'd hold off and see. It also lets you do the work of looking like an asshole instead of me doing it, thanks!
>That being said
She loves their cheesecake, I don't care how you feel about their food, it's a gift she will like and that's all that matters.

Are you set on a red op? If she keeps her wine in her fridge shes either prefers lighter wines or probably doesn't care too much about wines overall . Either way that might be an indication that a strong red probably isn't a good choice.

Just listen to this user. Don't worry about it too much and just buy something easy drinking like a rose or moscato like your friend suggested. Also consider a sherry- go for a sweet style if you do: this generally means either a pedro ximenez or moscatel.

She laughed about showing her bottles of wine. She's wine meme drinker. Buy a cheap bottle of Barefoot white or rose.

Good post

Sounds like someone is a pretentious little bitch. Drink some rose and cool down dude.

t. child molester

it doesn't matter what wine you get, just find a way to "accidentally" let her know what the price was. Women are stupid, wretched creatures with no taste of their own. They only like things that other people like, so if other people are paying a lot of money then she will think it's fancy. It's the same reason they all go for Chads, because other women are going for them.

You sound bitter. Don't worry it will pass. Eventually you just won't care anymore.

You seem like a sad person that needs to lash out in order to justify their own perception of themselves. You could spend more time enjoying life and trying to be a better person but it seems you have clearly chosen the other path.

get her a merlot

white wine is hit and miss and nobody who drinks wine drinks rose

It started off as a joke but I'm starting to wonder now. Who gets this defensive and butthurt over being called a child molester, except actual child molesters?

I dunno. I actually work with children so I guess it would make it a bit of a touchy subject. You are still a pretentious bitch.

Figures. I've never met someone who chooses to work with children for their actual job, who isn't an intolerable person to be around. We wouldn't get along in real life.

>Rose it is! She said she liked "medium wines"

Wait a minute.. did she actually say she likes rose or are you just assuming because she said medium?

Here's an idea. Once you've chosen the wine include a card with something along the lines of a perfect wine to match a perfect dinner with a perfect lady, cooked by yours truly. Either cringy or smooth depending on the tyoe of person you are.

She actually used both the words medium wine, and that she likes rose.

Read back through the thread, I actually posted what I'm gonna write in the card.