And there in the lawless backwaters of the internet, I found a community that spoke out to me in pure contempt. A crazy...

And there in the lawless backwaters of the internet, I found a community that spoke out to me in pure contempt. A crazy, anarchist pseudo-state that would leave even the maddest of dictators scratching their heads. They goaded me to participate in their ritual "shitposting", or else I was to be cast out as a "redditor" never to return. So being the simple New York boy that I am, I posted McChicken threads, and Jack threads and even tried my hand at Vegan bait threads until I could shitpost no more. While my time here was short, I caught a glimpse of the human condition that only the Da Vinci's of this world were able to capture. A testament to the fortitude of the human spirit, I returned home with a newfound appreciation of the unique and bizarre, and one hell of a hangover. Like they always say... bada bing, bada boom.

;)

Lol pasta it is

My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give, you glorious bastard. Well fucking played.

WA LA

Damn this is perfect
Read everything in his voice, tone and everything

I used to read Veeky Forums posts in moot's voice and now I read them in hiro's voice

I so fucking hate Veeky Forums. Toxic is fuck but always brings a smile to my face. Polite sage...nvm. keeping this ck related with his pci.

What do you guys think of my pancakes? I'm thinking of adding mulberry or cranberry next time.

I think you can fuck off back to whatever shithole you wandered away from, faggot. I would not eat that shit even if it were plated on top of Nigella Lawsons monumental ass cheeks.

Oh my, look great taste. What do you think of her?

New York sucks

>overcooked eggs
>undercooked pancakes
>saging with an image

I've seen and jacked off to that porn once and imho it was a wasted fap. Absolutely not nice. Nigella is a goddess.

Look again, nigger. Eggs are cooked hard but mother dearest ordered me a copper pan and it cooks eggs very well. Tough exterior(hard) on the outside but yolky at the yolk.
>jacking off
Nigger detected but good taste. Are you well versed in Physics? Theoretical not quantum. She has nice tahtahs.

Math and physics were never my strongest suits, I study psychology and literature alongside existential philosophy. But I think we can agree that Nigella Lawson really makes you think.

How drunk are you?

...

>Theoretical not quantum
What did he mean by this?

Mommy

Bravo.
Pure kino.

>jack and mcchicken
How fucking new are you?

>So being the simple New York boy that I am
7/10 except for this. He'd just say "Simple New Yorker that I am,". Ruined the tone a bit but I read the whole thing in his voice. Bretty gud.

Leave

here's your (you)

His shows are so comfy, the pretentious ivory tower smug leftism tone in every show is the perfect blend of elitism and lack of self awareness.

That actually sounds just like one of his end-of-show monologues. Well done.

That's not nearly eloquent and up it's own ass enough for a Bourdain rant. Try harder. Here's some inspiration, he's currently (afaik) dating Asia Argento, Dario Argento's daughter. That's some pseudo-intellectual rambling material right there.

Why are chefs so leftist? Is food a corrupting influence? Is fasting the redpilled way to live?

You're opened up to a lot of different cultures and people through the working in the back of restaurants and then tasting food from around the world. It's also a profession based on serving the bougie. They are like some of the original servants basically and it's only in the last 30 years that chef has become a million dollar job with respect attached to it in the west.

All that being said they tend to be very hard working and do not suffer fools, layabouts, and other losers long. A lot of em are the the young commie or anarchist creative type who grew the fuck up and ground out success and they resent people who didn't do the same.

OAT

KEEZEEN

But I've tasted cuisine from around the world and traveled extensively. That doesn't make me want to open the borders and legalize drugs and promote transgenders.

Lets see you do one then.

Who is she? She'd be hot if she lost about forty pounds.

I mean you're kind of straw manning some chefs may hold all three of those, some may hold none of them and some may have any combination. And to distill leftism down to those three social issues isn't very genuine either. Most chefs I know are generally ambivalent about those issues and even if they cares deeply are too busy following their passion at the restaurant to be activist about it. TV personalities aren't real life either user.

I hope he gets killed by a thailander

Watching batman, box wine drunk, shitposting blurry pancakes. Bravo.

i've never seen more exquisite pasta on Veeky Forums.

I TOOK A WALK

sounds pretty red pilled and not leftist at all

Not all liberals are college freshmen/sophomore who have an immature sense of white savior or oppressed victim mentality. They're just the loudest, like skinheads are for conservatives.

It's almost like there's actual rational human beings out in the world that don't constantly complain about how they're being oppressed by white males or rant about how they're being taken over by minorities.
I swear the internet was a mistake.

t. internet user

typical liberal hypocrisy

>only liberals are hypocrites