Try to get into cooking beyond basic bitch shit like eggs, hamburgers, etc

Obviously your rage is not reality based. Go get an issue of Cook's Illustrated. It's basically how to cook well for people who are at the mercy of shitty supermarkets. Or just figure out how to make more money so you're not stuck in such a shit situation.

Take proper cooking courses instead of watching e-celeb meme recipes.
Learn the theory and basic recipes and you'll be able to cook decently with cheap ingredients.

>deglaze with white wine
>shallots
>heavy cream
>parsley

Could've just said this recipe was designed for profligate white women.

>Wines
You can't afford a $9 bottle of beaujolais? You probably shouldn't be cooking anything more expensive than a burger then.

>Fresh cocnut shavings
Use dried and reconstitute with coconut water

>shaved gold tier ingredients
It's OK, you can use unshaved gold tier ingredients insted.

>what the fuck am I gonna do with the rest of this pineapple?
I dunno, EAT IT? Pineapple IS a tasty fruit on it's own you know. Or perhaps you could make pineapple the theme of that week's dinner menu; come up with 5 different meals that each involve pineapple. Make a milkshake for desert or perhaps smoothies for breakfast that week.

Or perhaps you're just too god damned DUMB to learn to fucking cook since you can't figure out what to do with FRESH FUCKING FRUIT.

>God damned millenials are fucking CANCER

>not getting that shit dirt cheap at the grimy asian grocery where they don't speak english and are visibly uncomfortable having a honky browse their aisles

Who eats pineapple on its own? Terrible advice. The problem is that a lot of recipes call for shit you rarely ever use and wouldnt want to use multiple times in a row.

>Who eats pineapple on its own?
bait thread
anyone who replies after me is legally retarded

>Not keeping cream, white wine and shallots around most of the time? And parsley?! What the fuck kind of self respecting cook doesn't have parsley? I know there are people out there who live off hot dogs and canned chili, but if you're not one of them these ingredients shouldn't be all that exotic.

What the fuck. Pineapples are amazing on their own.

What do you expect me to make 3 pineapple based meals in a row like a fucking barbarian?

Tasty is a good start no nonsense ingredients or high cost channel, but expect 90% of things to just be cheese, pasta and a meat.

Kid, if you weren;t a barbarian, you'd have the dosh to go out to eat every night, or to have a live-in cook.

Pretentious faggot.

Thought this was a cooking board SORRY MY BAD

Then figure out how to use the ingredients you buy over several meals so you use them before they go bad like a normal person. Or just keep buying prefab shit. Choice is yours.

...

Dicing is preparing you fucking owls

We'll help you out OP. What do you wanna make?

You don;t want to cook though. YOu want to make masterful pieces of art that no one actually eats.

You're dismissive of classic fare because you don't think it's "high brow" enough for your "refined" palate. You know how often people manage to fuck up a burger? Do you have any idea just how awesome a burger can get if you're not a pretentius fuckwit?

>combine ground beef with ground pork and ground lamb in a 1:1:1 ratio
>mix in italian seasoned breadcrumbs (or make your own and use italian sesoning to taste) in a 1:3 ratio
>mix in one whisked egg for every 2 pounds of mixture
>Form 2 oz of meat into a patty apoximately 3" across (a 30 oz can with both ends cut off works well as a form).
>Place 1.5 Tbsp of feta cheese on patty, spread evenly across the top, do not get cheese within 3/8 inch of the edge
>form another 2 oz patty, place this ontop of the cheese and press the edges together (this is where the can comes in handy) to seal, making sure the circumference of the burger patty is smooth and uniform
>place patty on a piece of parchement paper on a pan of in a baking dish
>repeat process until all your burgers are built, if room in your frige or on the pan is at a premium, stack burgers in two layers with a sheet of parchment paper between them.
>cover tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for minimum of 2 hours
>remove burgers from fridge, unwrap. Roll the edge of each burger in dried parseley flakes before grilling or placing under a broiler.
>broil or grill for ~8 minutes on each side
>place on plate in one layer (use multiple plates if you have to), cover with a foil tent and allow to rest for 5 minutes
>while burgers are resting, butter and pan-toast buns
>spread buns with stone-ground mustard made with beer or wine and garlic aioli
>place a romaine leaf, a slice of beefsteak tomato (cut horizontally and no more than 1/4 inch thick) and sliced onions & pickles if desired on the upper of each bun.
>burger the bottom
>serve with craft beer

Fucking typos. That should say "4 oz of meat" not "2 oz of meat"

autistic projecting

Fuck me running....
The tomato should be xliced no more than 1/8 inch thick

>Drunkposting is a dangerous game my friends.

This. In fact, get everything you can at the asian grocery stores. I get things like shallots, garlic, and coconut milk at this Vietnamese grocery for a fraction of what they cost at Kroger.

Says the kid who A) doesn;t know how to cook and B) doesn't understand that there are intermediate stages between "baked eggs" and "coelecanth braised in truffel oil and served on a bed of beluga caviar with a gold-foil bow in it's asshole"

>Do you have any idea just how awesome a burger can get if you're not a pretentius[sic] fuckwit?
>gives pretentious fuckwit instructions
Bad bait mate. I rate it 0 out of 8.

Lemme alone, I'm drunkposting.

It's my hobby

>pork in a burger
this will lead to an overcooked patty, unless you like foodborne illness

>breadcrumbs in a burger
you must be trolling. A burger should be made from ground meat that is pressed into a patty. The outside of the patty should be seasoned, and if the lean/fat ratio is correct, it will require no binders or fillers. If you have to add breadcrumbs to your burger, then you are a shitty cook. Period. End of discussion.

>literal autism to cook and serve a fucking burger
nothing is gained from the maniacally over-complicated process you have laid out. It's all just an exercise in self aggrandizing sanctimony. KYS.

>he thinks breadcrumbs are a binder

They sop up fat and keep that delicious grease in the meat where it belongs, ancient meatpie trick.

Go for the rustic stuff. There's a reason those recipes stand the test of time. The Italian one is particularly common, but check out French cuisine in its rustic form. They're all relatively readily available ingredients. The only bad thing is wine, but you can buy the cheapest wine for that shit and it will work, or just use water or stock.

Chicken cacciatore may feel fancy, but it's basically:
>olive oil
>onion and garlic
>bell peppers
>salt and pepper
>tomato
>wine/stock/broth/whatever
>basil/thyme/rosemary/oregano/pick whichever you've got
>the cheapest pieces of chicken you can find

Seriously, there is a reason why rustic cuisine exists. It's the sort of stuff you can do with the basics. Afterwards, experiment and go further.

I know exactly the difference between home cooking food and restaurant food. But really, if you're at the point where wine and cream trip you up you're barely cooking.

>>he thinks breadcrumbs are a binder

no, i think they are a filler. a properly made burger patty doesn't need this. It isn't a meat pie, it's a burger. If you want to make a meat pie, there are plenty of good recipes out there, but a meat pie is not the same as a burger.

Please learn to read, and then neck yourself, mate.

>refrigerate for minimum of 2 hours
What this will accomplish?

>a properly made burger patty doesn't need this

A burger that's had all its delicious fat melt out and burn on the charcoal is not a proper burger.
Every burger needs breadcrumbs.

This is my problem as well. Its like I can drop $$$ on ingredients or get carry out for the same price that I know will taste good.

Also fuck those recipes that call for like 18 differemt seasoningz that you cant even taste in the end.

Just learn the rustic stuff. It's peasant food but it's survived on word of mouth, it ought to be good.

>honky

You must be black causes Asians only look at you if your black.

>foodborn illness
average of 15 cases of Trich occur in the US per year. That's 15 cases out of 320 million people. and most of those can be traced back to wild game. You could eat raw porkchops everyday for a year and never get sick from eating raw pork.
If you use the cheap ground beef (~30% fat), the burger will have enough fat to keep it moist.

>only season the outside of the burger, no breadcrumbs
Nigga you never worked in a kitchen before have you? McDonald's uses 100% pure beef; I assure the $15 dollar burger you get at the 19th hole or the brewpup has panko or other startch added to encourage structural integrity as the burger is cooked (i.e. so it won't fall apart).

>maniacally over-complicated process
Yet more evidence that you have never actually worked in a kitchen. This is how high-end burgers are built. I ommited the use of the burger press since I figured a dude too cheap to spend a tenner on wine would be unwilling to shell out a Grant for a specialized piece of equipment. Besides, DIY is alive and well on Veeky Forums last I saw. Besides, who wouldn't like to save some dosh in these uncertain economic times?

Yeah, cooking must be pretty hard for retards like OP

It's the EGG that's the binder whiskeydick. The breadcrumbs provide an interface matrix between the meat and the egg that allow the egg to hold everything together. And as the other user said, the starch soaks up the fat so it stays inside the burger where you can taste it, ratehr than on the pan/coals where it just turns into smoke and extra dishwashing time.

Lets the egg set and the burgers to firm up a bit, makes them easier to manipulate on the grill. Also allows the seasonings in the meat to moisten and spread their tasty goodness to the meat.

The process is easy, cooking is just following instructions. Its acquiring hard to get and expensive items that complicate things for most home cooks.

Can we stop pretending you need to be rich to make good food? Some of the best food comes from cheap cuts, vegetables, oils, and spices.

No thats just bullshit people from the south tell tourists to validate their shitty cooking. Poor people food will take like poor people food.

Now I know you're fucking with us

>t.brainlet
I have no idea why that user is responding to you in the first place.
>cooking is just following instructions
Shows clearly that you have no clue about cooking whatsoever.

>French onion soup
>fancy as fuck dish
>literally onions, butter, stock, salt and pepper
>if you wanna be even fancier you use wine, bread and cheese

Seriously, learn the fucking basics of cooking.

Pineapple eaten straight is painfully sweet and sour. Its a shitty fruit to eat straight but great in all sorts of dishes.

Making fajitas out of a ribeye is not only outrageously expensive, it's just wrong. The texture is all wrong, you won't end up with something that tastes right or have the right texture. Making french bread out of cake flour doesn't work because cake flour has the wrong proportions of protien in it.

Just as one should use the right tool for the right job, one should use the right ingredient for the right recipe.

Tastes like shit too. Its just onion soup. Nobody likes that except poor French people. They tricked you into thinking its fancy. Its like when southerners try to trick you by using cute terms like rustic or comforting. In reality its just some cheap slop made by cheap commoner ingredients with often one dimensional flavor.

>painfully sweet and sour
yeah...pretentious faggot detected. Let me guess, you blot your pizza and eat it with a knife and fork, don't you?

Not in my experience. Anyhow, I'm of the theory that if these recipes last that long in popular memory, there's something to them. If it tastes like cheap slop is because you're cooking it like cheap slop.

>Buy a whole chicken its like 99 cents a pound
>Pat it dry, cover it with butter, salt, and pepper
>If feeling 'fancy' throw in some dried or fresh herbs you got laying around
>In the pan throw in some carrots, onion or cubed potatoes that were covered in olive oil salt and pepper whatever the fuck you want
>Food good enough for like 95% of people

Woah slow down there Ramsey. Butter? Salt? Were not running some michelin star place here

Can you stop trolling already, you fucking retard?
You already got a lot of (You)'s with your shitty baits.
Can you calm down?

(YOUS)

wowee, all this cooking guys
glad I came into this thread

you can then use the bones and some vegetables to make a ton stock for like $2. Economical, extremely easy, highly versatile, and far better than store bought

Buy a fucking jamie oliver cookbook designed for poor people. Why would anyone go to youtube cooks for their daily needs?

Jamie Olive Oil is a youtube cook.

Get an immersion blender and start making vegetable soups.

t. milleniel retard

Eat shit and die peasant.

No better than maccy D's shit.

Burger = shit tier. No exceptions.

You must be going to the wrong stores.
The more racist the clerk the better the products.

Don't watch Ramsay, watch Food Wishes.

And you eat the pineapple, you baiting fuck.

Blow your brains out, nigger. Let your mother be free to get fucked by Chad she deserves better than to care after you for the rest of her life.

When you actually cook you learn to use the leftovers in your next dish. In a constant cycle of make dishes with the leftover ingredients of the last. Buying new ingredients as needed. This is simple logic.

Fair's fair, he's also a purveyor of fine terracotta bullshit with garbage tin fittings stacked up in the As Seen On TV corner of every grocery store

This is bait, you don't need special ingredients to make fancy shit. Try to learn how to make your own pasta and sauce, or how to make a tortilla de papas. None of those things use any uncommon ingredients.

>cooking is only for the rich and haughty

Until the ascendancy of the corporate HFCS pig slop troughs poor people cooked every meal with locally grown, farm to table ingredients. Stop watching stupid cooking shows and find recipes for simple, basic foods.

>be a weeb
>too stupid to cook
Figures.

>be a normie
>easily baited by bad bait accompanied by an anime slut

weebs win again

The British shouldn't comment on cooking.

>Make this thread because last night I was frustrated
>Wake up and its at the front page

My bad

Meatloaf is not a hamburger.

>normie
You're fucking clueless as to what that means, aren't you?

>>cooking is just following instructions
>Shows clearly that you have no clue about cooking whatsoever.

I'm sorry if you emotionally invested your self-worth into your ability to cook a decent meal, but it's true.

Watch chef John you cuck

>instant potato salesman

Nah.

Do not insult the curry birbs.

>breadcrumbs in a burger
Go home son, you're drunk.

Made these yesterday and I'm not the best cook.

They look at everyone unless you live in some flyover-ville where there's only one asian named chang that owns a liquor store.

I've never been asked to leave asian concentration camp supermarkets but I've seen people who have.

I bet you're watching some bullshit youtube channels. Those kinds of things use expensive shit for views

>crisps on the burger

Your burger looks like shit user. Have you no concept of balancing and contrasting flavours? fuck that's just all salt and grease.

It's about the texture, user. I doubt you'd ever even taste the chips over the bacon, beef, etc. But the crispy texture would be in nice contrast to the rest of the meal.

And speaking of no concept of balancing and contrasting things, don't you have a toast sandwich to be making?

Buy older cookbooks.
In the UK at least we had a very limited range of ingredients until about the 80's. Pasta was considered exotic well into the 70's. Cookbooks from that era use only cheap common ingredients in thrifty ways because it was written by people who went through rationing. The stuff in them might not be high cuisine but for teaching you entry level beginner cooking skills it'll do the job.

This nigga knows what's up. I always have at least two jars, just in case one runs out.

Duuuude, if you want to avoid expensive ingedients and multi-step recipes then go to smaller cooking youtube channels.
Example: youtube.com/channel/UCJBmsDy6CmYn84Ef6xqy3RQ

Simple meals with small amounts of ingredients. Cooking is a skill like any other, at first you fair, with time and practice you become comfortable with it, and it can be a lot of fun. Cooking is like playing with LEGOs, but they can be eaten afterwards.

this is the reason I survived on pot noodles/tendies for the past 3 years.

I feel like cooking is really pretty much impossible unless you have a group to cook for (family, girlfriend, roommates) or want to eat the same shit for a hundred meals.

Cooking for one leaves you with a ton of excess.

Yeah, that's the reason.