ITT excuses wannabe authors make

>i'm not feeling inspired
>i'm too busy to write
>I have writers block

>I am irredeemable trash

>"oh yeah, I have this great idea I've been playing around with for about 5 years, I'm trying to flesh it out more right now"
>Can't produce a single page on it
>"No, it's all in my head, I have a special organization system"

I have a "writer" friend who always does this. Spends days autistically mapping out and telling me about his anime inspired "series'" (which he always drop), and then never writes anything.

I dont have the time
Thats the biggest i hear. It always come from people who fancy themselves writers but dont wanna take the time to make it happen. They always seem to have time for videogames and netflix tho

>I can only write X genre

Basically everyone I know who calls themselves a writer is like this. My ex-gf was a big offender.
>"I've been working on this book for a few years. I haven't started writing yet, though.
>I look at all of her notes and listen to explanations
>"Looks pretty good, dear. I think you've outlined enough to start writing soon.
>"I still have some characters and plot points that I want to flesh out first!"
>4 months later and still not a single page written
It's people like that who make calling yourself a writer such a meme these days.

Whoa. I almost feared that someone I know is writing about me here, but then I realized that I have written pages of it.

this is not a new phenomenon. I don't remember who it was, but there was a 19-century author who mentioned she had friends who do this all the time and never publish a thing.

every single thing mentioned in the Turkey City lexicon.

every single thing mentioned on tvtropes, for that matter.

>I work full time!!! I don't have time!

underrated toast

kek

>>"I've been working on this book for a few years. I haven't started writing yet, though.

This is top kek material. I actually write books. 1st one took about 3 months, 2nd took 2, 3rd was 120k words and took 3 months. On my fourth one now. I'm a week in, have read two huge books on it for research, took 30k words of notes, outlined the whole thing, and have all the characters pinned down and events and sequencing outlined. In a week from getting the idea. One of the research books was 900 pages long.

People who take years to do a book "write" for 2 minutes then go on their smartphone for 2 hours. But they'll insist they're taking so long not because they're lazy adhd tardlets but because they're "geniuses" and the book is "hard" to get "right" or whatever shit. Posers.

If you're on the pot, crap or get off it.

plus most of them write pseud garbage that is always a thinly veiled biography of their boring lives. How many characters do we have who were put in a mental institution or got a messy divorce or wahhh wwaaaaaaahhhhh? Their lives are fucking boring, and that's why their books are boring. And half the "authors" on Veeky Forums are guilty of this. I've read your trash you post in the crit threads. My god, just go rent a flat in nyc and become a chainsmoker already. You're not even interesting enough to have a five minute conversation with; why the devil would I want to read a book about a character who "totally isn't you"? Your daddy issues are not interesting and no one cares about your "mental illness" that is a cop-out for your own weakness and idiocy.

Write the fucking book or don't. Better to waste 5 months "writing" a shitty book than 5 years, so finish your mental turd and go find a new hobby that isn't so challenging for you. I hear great things about crochet.

If I write less than 1500 words a day, I feel like I'm getting lazy, though to be fair I haven't written anything today and probably won't write anything today because I just self-published my latest book yesterday and feel like taking a break. Been writing/editing pretty much daily since March 14th.

I legit want to try Nanowrimo sometime, but there's no way in fuck I'm going over 6 full months without writing. By the time November arrives, I should have at least another 4 books finished.

What's pocs? Anyways, I barely bother sending my stuff into traditional publishers. Self-publishing is working pretty good for me thus far even though I'm still quite new.

Do you anons make money from your books? How much?

People of Color. Currently the preferred nomenclature for "not white". The countdown is on 'til the people who made it up decide that it's offensive.

The first I submitted was #3, and I just sent the query round a few weeks ago and only to 5 agents. I need a few more rounds and more time for responses. I'm hoping to get published, and honestly I'm pretty good. My first book wasn't good, #2 was enjoyable, #3 is honestly really good, and #4 is going to be fantastic. So I'll get published eventually, and then I'll have credit to my name and can get my other books published far more easily. (This effect is why some serial authors can publish hot garbage that a first-time author would get rejected for. Agents see they've been previously published and greenlight just about anything from them. Rich getting richer effect.)

Either way, I don't care, I will write published or not. I like writing and I go nuts if I don't have a novel to work on. Just remembering my last novels makes me smile. It's like having children, I guess, but the gestation period is a third of the time and they stay perfect forever instead of turning into teenagers.

tl;dr no, but I will.

I do. Nowhere near enough to be a full-time writer yet, but I'm well on my way considering I've been self-published for just a little over 6 months. Most self-published authors don't even make $100 in their first year, but I made almost half that in the month of March alone. April has been a bit slower, but that's because I haven't been doing promotions as often. Sort of used up all my days in March.

April 14th was a good day. Got 2 sales for my ereaders set at $0.99 which is $0.35 profit for me since it's 35% royalty, so that's $0.70 US. I also got 289 KENP. The amount you get per page for KU page reads (KENP) differs from month to month but averages at .47-.5 cents per page. I always go with the low value of .47 cents per page so I know I'll get at least that much. That's $1.35 USD for KENP, so add the $0.70 and I've got $2.05 USD, which is around $2.75 CAD if memory serves.

May 29th was a REALLY good day; got two sales for my $2.99 book which has 70% royalty, which means I got $2.05 USD each, making it $4.10 total, which is about $5.50 CAD. No KENP, unfortunately, but no matter. Yesterday I got no sales but 153 KENP which earned me a little over $1.00 CAD, and today I've got 77 KENP so far which is around $0.50 CAD. Still, some days I make absolutely nothing; April 16-17 I didn't make so much as a penny. April 5th I got a grand total of no sales and 2 KENP which is a maximum of 1 US penny. So y'know, the income varies, but all in all for such a new author I'd say I'm doing quite well and I feel very lucky. I'm very thankful for those who get my stuff, even if they get it for free during one of my promotions, and even if they end up leaving an unfortunately low rating like those two guys from /k/ who left 2-star reviews.

How old are you?

Haha fair enough. Well my latest book as the term 'nigger dyke' in it, so the SJWs can go fuck themselves. It's not put in senselessly though; a black lesbian has been ragging on my white male protagonist for quite some time, even in the book that came before this one in the series. I guess he finally got to a breaking point. All 'cracker' this and 'white boy' that, sometimes claiming he's racist. Well if she wants to go on and on and on about that, then fine! He up and calls the bitch a nigger dyke!

Now, I don't intentionally TRY to be politically incorrect, but at the same time, I make absolutely NO attempts to be politically correct. I let the cards fall as they may. The black lesbian is actually a 'bull dyke' I think the term is, and, SPOILER ALERT, when she's introduced in the 2nd book of the series a part of her backstory is that she raped and murdered a white redheaded girl who turned out not to be gay. That, or she just wasn't interested. White girl was 17 if memory serves, cute little thing, and the lesbian is in her early-mid 20s or so. Tall, about 5'10, and though she's quite thin with a pretty small appetite she is also well toned. Strong, modest-sized breast about A or B, large areoles, and she has a thing for redheads as well as women crying. If a woman cries near her, for some reason, she just starts getting turned on. I haven't brought that character trait into the books too many times, but I still find it to be an interesting aspect. I won't ever make this character become straight or, even if she ends up surviving for several books more, but I think I'll have her get raped by a man at some point. Maybe even by the main protagonist.

But Stephen King writes at least 2000 words a day, EVERY DAY.

Just self-publish, my dude. Yeah chances are you won't make much money, especially if you don't bother trying to market it yourself, but it's a very valid and legitimate way to get a start as a writer.

>just self publish
>you can earn a cup of coffee every two months if you market it well

Average publishing payment up front is 5k. And that's average.

25. I've been "writing" in some form or another since I was a teenager, just not in novel form. I have other income so it's not like I'm a starving artist type.

>writing Veeky Forums: the book
>writing about modern pop culture/current politics at all

Not gonna make it.

Meh, in fairness most actual published books don't really make enough money to even support the writer.

Self publishers generally make nothing at all, but actual published stuff isn't a huge step up.

Looks like Stephen King has published over 100 books of various sizes since 1974. That's 43 years, averaging almost 2.5 books per year I think. Pretty good. I'm averaging 3 books per year, and 2017 isn't even half over. I'm averaging a book a month. Stephen King is 69 years old. By the time I'm that old I'll theoretically have, and this is a conservative estimate in which I actually low-ball, over 400 books finished if I keep up at the rate I am. Bueno... come on, Stephen! Make an effort!

I understand that traditional publishing can be more lucrative, but that doesn't mean self-publishing isn't a legitimate way to start. Also, technically, if we average things out, I'm earning a small cup of coffee every 2 days if it's only $1.00. I say again, I'm still very new, but things are picking up.

Are you me? I'm in my 20s as well and have been writing sort of as a hobby since I was in my very early teens.

As for the books, I don't really bother with pop culture however I do include some political aspects. Planning to include a Muslim character eventually to address Islamic beliefs and Sharia Law.

Anyways, I didn't come here to argue. If you don't think I'll make it, all good, fair enough, maybe I won't but at the rate things are going I'm anticipating being a full-time writer within about 1-2 years. Doing another promotion soon. Hoping to get over 100 free ereader copies of my books downloaded within 24 hours. I get no money, but that would be over 100 people who have probably never heard of my pen name who then will have. They also might end up reading my book. I've had my books downloaded for free in 8 countries spanning 5 continents, with ereader books bought and paid for in 4 countries spanning 3 continents. Not gonna lie; I think I'm doing pretty good for only being self-published for 6 months or so. Can't wait to see how I'll be doing when I hit my 1-year anniversary of being a self-published author. I'll likely have at least 10 books under my belt by then.

Didn't mean to trigger you. If you like writing, write. At least you're serious about it and not a poser pseud, so I can respect it so long as you're actually producing content and not just masturbating to yourself.

I have me a cousin what talks about this book he's "writing." He's been "writing" it for five years, and my god it sounds like a load. See, he's trying to make it The Book, his Magnum Opus, but the kid ain't written anything before. So he's hyping it up and trying to make it a panacea for all our worldly worries and philosophical fears, but he don't have the skill to pull it off. And it gets bunkered down, and you know, sounds like the uninteresting ramblings of a pseud who thinks he's some genius when he's the idiot in the room stating that water is wet. Lack of perspective. He's embarrassing to listen to, but my god you can't imply that he ought to just write the damned thing and not try making it into the next Bible or he'll spill spaghetti about how he's an unappreciated genius.

What I think is, so long as the book isn't finished they can live in denial that it will be the best piece of literature ever seen in the western world. And as soon as it's finished, that dream shatters and they have to face the steaming pile of shit it really is. So they never finish it.

Of course, by never actually finishing it, they sacrifice the possibility of being a good writer in the future, some novels in, for the delusion that they're currently a genius. And they damn themselves to eternal mediocrity for the delusions of contemporary grandeur.

No triggerings, just shared my views, ideas, goals, and opinions. Sounds like a rough situation with that cousin you have. I don't try to look like some kind of genius, nor do I believe myself to be one. I believe I'm a good writer however, and I enjoy what I write. Fucking hate editing, but I absolutely love writing. You'd probably hate what I write; it's all fiction thus far, and 3 of my 6 books are in a zombie survival series which we've already established has some political things it touches on. It'll be touching on more in the future as well, but at the same time at its core is a nitty gritty and realistic survivalist take on the zombie genre. Real aspects of survivalism, accurate usage and terminology in regards to firearms (yeah I'm from /k/), attempts at maintaining continuity for amount of ammo/food, and so on.

If you frequent Veeky Forums... well... frequently... then you've probably seen my throbbing rock-hard shillhood. I'm the guy who writes under the pseudonym/pen name J N Morgan. The zombie series is Living amongst the Dead. The book that I mentioned contains the term 'nigger dyke' is my latest one that is in the process of being self-published as I write. Looks like the paperback is available now, and the ebook version shouldn't be much longer before it's up. Living amongst the Dead: On the Road Again. I actually posted the first chapter over on /k/ even though the ebook isn't even properly self-published yet. I'll see if I can link the thread in case you'd like to read it and shit all over it. I know how Veeky Forums is about fiction/zombies so all good, I understand.

Oops, sorry about that, first 10 pages. Not the first chapter. First chapter is probably 25 pages so it's almost half the first chapter.

Well shit, nevermind, the thread 404'd... I'm derping all over the fucking place today...

Neat.

I think I've read your stuff before, and it's certainly not my cup of tea. Well, genre fiction is successful so good luck.

I'm not a highbrow snob. I write military tactics and swordfights and stuff, mang. Swords. What's cooler? I just wouldn't touch modern sjw shit with a ten foot pole. It's gimmicky.

My cousin is a lost cause. Basically every negative 4chinz stereotype. Basement dwelling NEET loser who thinks he's a god, a pseud, cringy fucker. I don't talk to him anymore.

Swords? Right on, I've got some bayonet usage in my LatD series. I'll probably get some rifles on the go eventually that use shortsword bayonets like the Mk.III* with the Pattern 1907 (P07) bayonet with roughly 17" blade. M1 Rifle used a shortsword bayonet with about 15" blade. Kar98k had a more modest 8" blade on its dagger bayonet. SKS has about the same length bayonet but it's fixed under the barrel, can only be folded back to get it out of the way when not in use. The SKS in my books though is Chinese-made, so has a cruciform spike bayonet rather than a blade-style bayonet as typical on most Russian SKS rifles.

Anyways, I've been NEET for quite a while, but I'm in a new city, was in a homeless shelter until recently, and now I have several resumes out. Any job will do; my rent is quite low and I don't need much to feed myself. Just need enough money to pay the bills to stand on my own two feet, and just keep writing. Things have been pretty rough for the last 5 years, but things are really picking up, and I've never been this optimistic about the future. I've found a real passion when I decided to finally write that book that I've wanted to write for years.

I also just want to say, it's cool as fuck to be told "I've read your stuff before" even if it's followed by "and it's certainly not my cup of tea." Honestly, it's still awesome, even though I'm sorry to hear you didn't much like it. Hopefully you got one during the free promotion instead of paying actual money.

Yup. It blows my fucking mind that I'm actually earning MONEY for writing books. I love writing. It's like I'm getting paid to play fucking videogames, legitimately, and that's something I've kind of dreamed about even since the 90s. I mean, sure, so far I'm only averaging about $0.50 a day, perhaps a bit more, but it's still something! Almost $50 in March?! If I can manage that much in April and maintain that for a year, that's $600 a year! That's almost a free month's rent JUST for fuckin' WRITING! God I love Capitalism...

1) Is it my intention to persuade? If so, and if I succeed in this endeavor, wouldn't that only make the world smaller? Wouldn't I only be convincing the easily convinced?
2) I am the least qualified person to write about myself.

It's interesting that in today's world most male authors could be more easily published if they took on a feminine pen name.

The promotion is official. Scheduled for the 27th instead of the 26th. Also, my 6th book is officially available for paperback and Kindle.

>Living amongst the Dead
Free on Apr 27

>When her 'No' means 'Yes'
Free on Apr 27-28
Only 2 out of 5 days left and I renew my 3-month contract in early-mid May, so might as well.

>Firearm Valhalla
Free on Apr 27

>Another One Please, to Dull the Pain
Free on Apr 27
I also have this book submitted for a contest going on with Amazon or Kindle or whatever. Winner gets 30,000 British Pounds or something crazy like that! Probably won't win, but if I did, it'd be EPIC! That's something like $50,000 Canadian! I could live well off that for like 3 years! I seriously don't have much in the way of bills, rent is pretty cheap, especially when you consider that utilities are included.

>Living amongst the Dead: Dark Days
$0.99 on Apr 27
$1.99 on Apr 28
Return to $2.99 on Apr 29

>Living amongst the Dead: On the Road Again
$2.99
About as recent as it gets, just became available today on April 25th!

I'll be making a thread on Veeky Forums on the 27th so that people can get one or some of these books for free. Maybe also make one tomorrow on the 26th as well to try and get as many people in the know as possible. To anyone who decides to pick one or some of these up, I hope you like it! To anyone who goes the extra mile and buys my stuff, fucking thank you. You're awesome!

To the wannabe authors reading this, I've wanted to write that realistic nitty-gritty zombie survival novel for over half a decade. I finally did, and it's not much of a stretch to say it's changed my life. I've found a renewed passion for writing. So write that fucking book. DO IT! DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE MEMES!

Wow you've just described me to the t about six months ago. I feel like an even bigger moron now. Guess i should stick to writing shitty poetry

You're that Morgan guy aren't you?

Thanks for kicking my ass. I mean it.

i remember the reason i left Veeky Forums now

Very interesting thread. Without being ironic, really makes you think.

U live in NYC?

I simply don't feel like writing literature. Yeah I mean me. Sometimes I like the idea of writing something, but I simply don't want to be remembered as a writer.

Good thing you won't be remembered for anything then
you might as well kill yourself now, it makes no difference.

Can you tell us more about how you write? Do you have any routine?
What is something you wished you would have been told in the beginning?

Fucking stop feeding this delusional """""writer"""" whose work consists of Zombie Survival books and "when her no means yes" and makes novella-length posts about how he earned 80 cent here and 1.50 dollars there.

lol, this

Funny, isn't it. Because he's self published and earns a bit of money from it he thinks he can go on yada yada yada giving everybody a pep talk on how to become a
successful author. Good for him I guess, who cares.

Not to mention most wannabe writers these days are secretly itching to write masturbatory stories about their high school lives or some shit anyway, and that's the exact kind of stuff that's more likely to get published.