Food cringe stories

i do that but i clean the pan prob once a week

I ate nothing but apples for months.

You stopped though, right?

Sorry to hear you don't have any friends, but people who hang out a lot tend to eat together quite a bit.
Something I'm sure you've never experienced.

I believe he was making a joke about people will sometimes refer to a friend in a story when they are actually talking about themselves. You took it very seriously though, which leads me to believe that you, like me, have not had any friends.

I used to eat steaks with ketchup and mayo

You know its a normal thing to eat food with other people right?

I used to do that alot as a kid. I still do occasionally, it just takes the right kind of burger. Onion rings are also a good toppig for some burgers.

I feel like that could result in some serious vitamin deficiencies.

Nietzsche?

I thought it was a gay joke

>being this much of a Chad

Chad sounds cool

I used to buy $1 wendys chicken sandwiches and keep them stuffed down the side of my mattress, pressed up against the radiator. So when ever I wanted I could reach down and have a hot chicken sandwich without having to get out of bed.

it was a dark time in my life

thats so fucking badass dude

In Elementary School this one kid next to me would always mix a whole ton of shit from the school lunch together, and pool it all into one of the sections of the lunch tray, and it would always smell fucking terrible and sometimes he'd even eat it

Besides all that though he was a nice kid, I actually miss him

My brother used to mix goldfish and ketchup. Like it was pasta and sauce.

Kek

Wow

When I went to summer camp, one of the counselors would always smother his pizza in mayonnaise. It absolutely ruined pizza day for me.

Lucky you, my camp counselor would just smother me in his cum

I think it was a gay joke

I think you'll be proud to know that that was my first post on Veeky Forums, and this was the first response that I got.

>Not swallowing like a real man
What are you? A queer?

I think it was a gay joke

Good god user
How old was the oldest sandwich you ate?
2 weeks?

Joni Mitchell?

My cousin is/was like this, was an extremely picky eater through childhood and only ate those garbage comfort foods even when good home cooking was available.
She is now permanently partially blind because of severe vitamin deficiencies along with a half dozen other medical issues and she is not even 25.

God damn, I live in the American south and even I've never heard of someone having such a poor diet that they go blind. That's genuinely impressive.

Junior high I had a friend who didn't like bread so every day for lunch she had cookies, a pack of cheap ass salty unhealthy crackers and a can of liverwurst (which is like spam but you can spread it out on a sandwich). Needless to say she ended up becoming a planet.

I make everything I make spicy. I put hot sauce on vanilla ice cream and I even made a pot roast that made a friend cry it was so spicy.

She subsisted on a similar diet as that guys friend, plain cheeseburgers, nuggets, plain pizza, fish sticks, french fries, mashed potatoes, tons of soda, etc.
The tomato sauce on pizza was nearly the only vegetable she was eating for a decade or longer. I am sure she had uncontrolled diabetes because she has been overweight since mid childhood, and that probably is what caused the blindness.

atleast let us know if there was some variation in cultivar? like, you werent just snacking on red delicious the entire time, right?

Are you that fat fuck that was on tv?

>have a lot of onions
>looked up online for french onion soup recipe
>Don't have any of the ingredients only onions
>sauted shitload of onions until black than add water and salt
>Throw in some fish sticks i found
>Doesn't smell to great, decide to finish a bowl
>dump the rest in the sink

kek

>back parallel with the table at all times
Uhm ok

My mom has a few cringe cooking habits. She's like Marie. Hasn't learnt a single recipe but likes to pretend she can cook.

>boils potatoes in butter using a microwave
>puts salmon in a dish covered with tin foil, again steaming/boiling in butter with an oven (tastes like a soggy mess everytime)
>says she doesn't like salt but uses shit loads of salted butter on everything
>gets offended when I put salt and pepper on a dinner she makes for me, insisting that 'she thought it tasted fine' without it
>because she seemingly refuses to use any seasoning whatsoever, to make anything taste 'good' she burns things so they're slightly black or uses a couple tablespoons of butter
>when she makes mashed potatoes, again as she refuses to use even salt she covers it entirely with a layer of cheddar cheese and it looks like it has been covered with custard

I need to move out. She's realised I think her cooking sucks and now she gets annoyed with me as if she is perfect at cooking and I'm just being a dickhead.

Colleague of mine eats like an autist (because he is an autist, but don't tell him that; he'll flip his shit), meaning he practically doesn't eat anything because of something with the texture, or because has a hint of sour, or whatever other stupid shit bothers him that day. He's still fat though, I really don't know how.

Anyway, he found a recipe for "authentic mcdonalds burgers" on the internet and now wants to make them. He can barely cook anything but eggs, so I can only applaud this attempt. He wants to make a big mac. I say the sauce is probably the hardest part. He says he doesn't like sauce on his burgers, so he'll skip that. And he's also going to skip the veggies, because veggies bah. He just wants a bun with two patties, but it absolutely has to have the middle-piece bread, otherwise it wouldn't be an authentic big mac...

wtf is wrong with epople

Steve Jobs?

Nah, if bears can get big and strong from eating nothing but oversized grass, we can surely live on apples.

I'm gonna tell him you said he's an autist.

Do they even sell middle buns to our kind? What's he gonna do if he has to end up using a second bottom bun leaving a bunch of unused top buns? I bet he'd freak.

I live mostly on pizza and pasta and I'm not even Italian. I also love coffee and sperg out inside when I see people add milk or sugar.

you're an idiot

d.. don't do it, please. You have no idea what powers you're messing with.

I do this too every once in awhile
I do it with chips too on some sandwiches, tuna mainly.

That's not cringey. A lot of people do that.

i think he meant 'right angle'

you're an idiot
but that was fun to watch

Hey get outta my face bud.

It's already proven that a human female can live (and grow big) for years on nothing but cheesy potatoes.

youtube.com/watch?v=IJGIMd3_LfY

I tried the milkshake with bacon at the bottom once at Five Guys...

Sonic had one of those but it was with peanut butter flavored ice cream with bacon. I tried it and it was nothing short of awful.

>get home from gym with gymbro
>he heads to the kitchen to cook something up
>tells me that I could take a shower first
>ok.png
>come out with only a towel
>he's cooking sausages
>sneak up behind him and take a sniff of his armpits
>jokingly ask him if he's gonna use them as seasoning while grabbing him from behind
>he shrieks and instinctively slaps me with the scalding hot spatula
>tfw

I hope you said no homo afterwards because that was gay as fuck.

What's wrong with you? There's literally nothing gay about that entire story.

Did you get beaten out or have to blow the wheel chair kid?

I legit eat worse than she does and have been getting like an all over heart burn and pains in my chest back and arms when I drink soda recently. Not fat tho

My sister would heap generous amounts of sugar on her Coco-Pops.

How that bloated glutton hasn't ended up with diabeetus yet is beyond me.

I'm gay and can confirm
user is a faggot
No straight man would do that

>was at a birthday party
>there was leftover cake, it was triple chocolate with thick chocolate sauce covering the top
>notice that it looks identical to brown sauce (a condiment pretty much exclusive to UK that tastes like a spicy, vinegary ketchup)
>decide to cover the top of the leftover cake in brown sauce
>convince people to finish up the cake
>hilarity ensues
>watch their expressions turn to one of extreme disgust and then anger
>a few people start vomiting
>end up getting kicked out of the party

>a condiment pretty much exclusive to UK that tastes like a spicy, vinegary ketchup)

Brown sauce is everywhere user.

I would feel so betrayed if I had a nice pot roast dinner and bit into hot spicy betrayal.

I love hot foods too, but pot roast is sacred.

The lunch I make when I'm alone and feeling lazy:
>Fistful of pasta
>1 or 2 red onions sauteed with some garlic

A.1 doesn't taste anything like HP brown sauce and the ingredients are different

Make dinner for her one day. See if she notices a difference

A1 and HP have completely different ingredients.
Nothing like each other.

>exclusive to the UK
It's made in the Nederlands for a start.

stop arguing semantics it doesnt matter

They taste extremely similar and most of the ingredients are the same.

>A1 and HP have completely different ingredients.
They're virtually identical bro. Google it.

A1: Tomato puree, vinegar, corn syrup, salt, raisins, spices...

HP: Tomato puree, malt vinegar, sugars, dates, salt, spices....

Adults who eat like children anger and frustrate me so much

I'm dutch and I have no idea what it is.

You've just never had a real gymbro

maybe he forgot the word 'perpendicular' existed

How long would you keep the sandwiches there?

That's gay as hell.

if you believe that this wasn't dramatized and she actually lived like that her entire life,
you're a double idiot
but that was also fun to watch

It's called skinship you fucking sperglords. Not everything involving other men is automatically gay.

More like skinflute you fucking fairy.

>projecting
t. closet homo

one of my friends puts miracle whip on his pizza and eats it, actually he puts miracle whip on almost everything

>it contradicts my beliefs
>therefor it must be fake

It's just guys having some fun together. Sniffing armpits is not weird at all. Nobody is swallowing cum, relax.

I still do this with McDonalds. Don't do it in restaurants of course.

stop posting about your kinks in the food board

When I was in high school I would walk to the grocery store nearby and buy those mixers for alcoholic drinks, and just drink them straight. Green apple was my favorite

Believe it or not I'm still a skinny skeletor and I don't have the 'beetus

How is that a kink? You're seeing things that aren't there.