Goes from shooting dope and sucking dick homeless on the streets...

Goes from shooting dope and sucking dick homeless on the streets. To becoming basically a food god who gets paid to travel the world.

Whats your excuse for failing at life?

I didn't give a food Network exec the best goddamn nut draining bj of his godforsaken existence.

The only failure here is you putting a period in the middle of that single sentence. If you are going to shitpost, then at least have proper sentence structure.

He's jewish

goes from sucking human dicks for money to ingesting animal dicks for money

Kek

I am a misanthrope

in europe they use periods instead of commas

I wouldn't consider Zimmern a food god and I actually think he's really fucking goofy, but I respect him for having iron-clad nuts

That bald fatso prolly gets his guy jollies from eating discusting garbage in front of people and making them puke, there's no other reason to be eating fermented camel turds in oogaboogastan.

>eww, someone eats food that isn't slopped into our pig trough by megacorporations
>he's (((one of them))) too, so that really ruffles my panties still wet from my latest circlejerk at /pol/

LMAO, he's more a man than your wimp bitchass will ever be.

Goes from having the last name Zimmerman to Zimmern.

lies. i don't believe op

sounds like he had a stroke while saying his name one day and just rolled with it

I saw this guy going through TSA in Minnesota a few months ago. I couldn't find him afterward

he rides with the luggage for some reason

It's true, though. Not sure about sucking dick but he was a homeless addict before becoming famous.

but you could

No the problem with his show is that its all a gimmick that isn't even real. Most of the places he visits don't eat that shit anymore except maybe rarely during ceremonies. He basically goes to a country, looks up its traditional foods from hundreds of years ago and asks some old people to make it for him so he can get views for eating 'wacky and gross' foods while perpetuating false stereotypes of those cultures. Plus hes often a snarky asshole about it throughout.

>be travel channel exec
>walking through the streets of manhattan
>see a fat bad man in tattered clothing slumped up against a dumpster next to an empty bottle of manischewitz
>he notices you and offers to suck you off for $10
>you decline
>sobbing, he offers to eat some chinese takeout covered in roaches he found in the dumpster for $5
>you take him up on his offer
>while eating it he starts to critique it
>"earthy" "nutty" "zesty"
>while in the middle of his critique you watch him bite directly into a large cockroach
>without batting an eye he continues his freak show act
>pic related

Is this really how it happened?

Yes. Absolutely.

same story as anthony bourdain. what a coiiiincidence

Kek