Eat lots of fruit and veggies

>eat lots of fruit and veggies
>still can't poop
how do I solve this cu/ck/s? Coffee hurts my tummy

prunes/prune juice
stop taking opiates

Why do you want to poop?
shits nasty

stick fingers up butt and pull it out

One tablespoon of psyllium husks every day.

I would tell you to eat more bananas but it seems like you do that already.

Greek yogurt for your gut flora.

I usually eat a big fucking bowl of fiber one and man it's game over. Maybe mix a fiber supplement into the milk before you pour it in?

Shit loads of spicy food and weird aloe drink
Got me on the toilet for hours

Contact your doctor and tell them you're having constipation issues.

This is the only legitimate answer ITT.

/thread

Sauerkraut before bed has always helped me when i've been constipated.

If your constipation has lasted for a long time, I'd suggest talking to a doctor instead of Veeky Forums though.

>eat lots of food that hardens shit
>still shit out a wet poo
have I got malabsorption or some shit?

This, it really works. Stop drinking coffee if it hurts your tummy. Or try making cold brew coffee instead since it's less acidic.

>Coffee hurts my tummy
Are you 8 years old?

When I drink milk I soon poop. Maybe it disturbs my guts, dunno, don't care.

an entire bottle of milk of magnesia

You need fruits and veggies with fiber in them
Stuff like broccoli has no fiber
Drink lots of water
May god have mercy on your butthole

>Stuff like broccoli has no fiber

He's right lad, broccoli has relatively low fiber in comparison to other green vegetables. It's why Veeky Forums is constipated since all they know how to make is chicken and broccoli.

Yakult

A good night with more beer than you're used to should do the trick

try bananas my dude

Try to eat something greasy as fuck. Milk works too

drink more water

also specify, what do you mean by tons of fruit and veggies? how much are you eating a day?

its most likely because the coffee tries to force his body to shit, but he is severely dehydrated so it wants to hold onto it at the same time

I've had diarrhea for months, want to trade?

take some psychedelics and run in circles

Same, though it alternates. Despite a normal diet that consists of not high octane garbage and eating a cup of yogurt every night, it's either foamy disaster or shit diamonds floating in liquid hatred that are hard to pass. I don't know what im doing wrong.

This happened to me, too, and I ended up in the ER because I thought I had appendicitis when I actually was just (literally) full of shit. Drink a LOT of water and take some laxatives. Eat foods that are high in fiber.

Maybe you're lactose intolerant.

Chug two litres cold water, without stopping, on empty stomach.

so after 6 days of relatively low-to-no poop, I have beed all day to the toilet shitting. Not really all liquid but it was soft and it was A LOT. Thank God I have a bidet so I could clean easily, still grossed that I had to touch my own poop.

Taco Bell.

Get buttsecks or join the marines. But seriously, this might be signs of mental problems or cancer.

eat a whole box of laxatives and 4 doses of painkillers

>there's some people in this world who doesn't have bidet and touch their own poopoo

thank god ive never shaken hands with these people 4

I'm a bit depressed :( but I thought constipation was a common problem?
italian?

The bidet is just a French excuse for not showering or bathing.

>amerifat education

Have you tried using enema like in those hentai doujins?

>there are people in this thread who have not done perfect log poos that require no wiping
SAD

Every time I drink whiskey I have the best shits the morning after. Why is that?

1) ethanol speeds up digestion, so you usually have to go right when you wake up
2) because of this quick digestion, the colon has less time to absorb water, so the poop is runnier

eat a teaspoon of flee seed husks every evening. Best shits ever! Even with my alcoholism I have the most pleasent poos. And I always struggled with pooping before I ate those magical seeds

P.S. soak them in some instant-broth. they are really hard to swallow dry or just with water.

eat more grapes

1. Eat foods you know to be fiber rich, not just "fruits and veggies". This means eating greens and whole grains, not bananas and carrots.
2. Eat some type of legume every single day.
3. Don't drink coffee on an empty stomach, dumbass. I had the same problem and the pain was so intense one day I decided to look up why.
4. DRINK WATER

Pickled cabbage will loosen you up. You also far polka afterwards.

Go to the doctor. Seriously

How much psyllium husk supplement are you supposed to take at once? All of the capsules I see are 500 or 750mg and that hardly seems like it would help considering the RDI of fiber is like 35g

Make sure to drink plenty of water and eat enough fiber. You could try smoking some weed, that always helps me whenever I have any intestinal issues.

holy shit there are a lot of constipation cures