How the FUCK do I cook scrambled eggs? They always turn out really flat...

Milk is a meme, you can use it but it is not needed at all, as for salt and pepper they don't effect the cooking they just make it taste better like pretty much all forms of eggs

it's eggs that are scrambled. you can add anything or nothing to them and it doesn't cease to be a scrambled eggs, at least until it's more other shit than eggs

Sweat oof somefinely diced onion and bacon/ham on a pan, pre-scramble eggs in a bowl, add finely diced tomatoes. When the onions and bacon are ready, pour the egg-tomato mix into your pan and cook at low to medium heat. Sprinkle with chives, serve with buttered mealy potatoes.

A really loose scramble is best imo, look at gordon ramseys rechnique, its not fast but theyre my second favorite. First favorite is in a double boiler

Why don't you just add a pinch of soda?
>recipes call for milk, pepper, salt, etc.
>I just heat up a non-stick pan, breaks some eggs onto it, and then mix it around with a wooden spoon.
You mean to tell me you don't use salt or pepper on eggs. fuck you. you don't neccecarily use milk, thats fine, were not making omelettes here, but come on.

addendum:
try eggs with tomatoes/ bacon/ cheese/ potatoes (spanish tortilla) if you haven't done so already.

>Scrambled eggs
>Consistency of paste

as opposed to the consistency of day old chihuahua turds in milk like murricans seem to enjoy

What is custard?

youtube.com/watch?v=s9r-CxnCXkg

This is my favourite video for this topic. Scrambled eggs three ways.

custard is completely capable of becoming scrambled egg if you over cook it, but it's also not scrambled egg.

Which is my point that milk isn't the best pairing for scrambled eggs, it makes them heavy and thick--exactly the opposite of what OP required.

the addition of milk is not what makes the eggs heavy and thick. the moisture content and cooking method is. don't be a retard.

ON THE HEAT
OFF THE HEAT

It does change the texture to that of a custard. (Traditionally, custards are never really described as light, or airy) water turns to steam and by getting trapped in the eggs cause them to be light and fluffy.

Don't look at me like I'm stupid because you lack the senses or experience to comprehend this.

>It does change the texture to that of a custard.

no it doesn't

> water turns to steam and by getting trapped in the eggs cause them to be light and fluffy.

so what do you think is happening to all the water in the milk you fucking stump

Mmmmm

>Deep pan
>Melt butter over medium heat
>Crack eggs
>Add splash of milk
>Salt and pepper
>Tilt pan and scramble with a slotted spatula to aerate
>Draw lines from the outside to the middle with the tip of the spatula while jiggling the pan so the liquid egg fills in the gaps you drew
>Once the liquid egg has cooked enough that it doesn't readily flow into the gaps, start drawing the from the outside to the middle with the wide flat edge
>Pile eggs into a nice blob and flip until you've reached your desired level of doneness minus the little bit of excess heat that continue to cook

My problem is there's always little papery bits of egg left in the edges of the pan.

don't need milk to make that shit ya putz

Lower the temp.

really really really high heat

Do you cook professionally?

as irrelevant as that is, i'll be honest and say not currently - i got out of the industry about 7 years ago.

>turn on heat to medium low for a skillet pan
>crack open 2 or more eggs
>add pinch of salt
>stir and break the eggs with a fork or mixer until yolk and white blended well, try to incorporate air into blend while you whisk
>add butter to coat the pan, once butter is melted put the blended eggs into pan
>don't stir immediately, wait for the edges to curl a little bit bring the edges to the middle of the pan
>flip strands of scrambled eggs to the center making sure they overcook on one side
>add pepper and other ingredients if you want (chives, cold cut ham, etc)
>when the eggs are almost finished, turn off the heat and stir the whole thing together until it's the right consistency you want
>serve immediately on a plate and enjoy

making sure they DON'T overclook on one side*

crack eggs into bowl
whisk until your arm gives out
dump into high heat pan
whisk

alternatively if you have the cash moneys you can pump the eggs through an at-home whip cream dispenser
that'll give you some fucking fluff

I often eat it without salt and pepper. But I'm usually just after the protein than a good meal as I also peruse Veeky Forums. Else I grind shichimi togarashi over it.

>milk makes them heavy and flat.
then you are an idiot
milk isn't necessary for making scrambled eggs
but milk doesn't make them flat
unless you are an idiot

watch this
youtube.com/watch?v=s9r-CxnCXkg

Is milk in scrambled eggs the new beans in chili?

>salt before cooking
dropped

I put a little bit of wine into the pan along with the bacon. It gives it a slightly sweet flavor.

What color wine goes with eggs, white?

Sounds like it's headed that way, sigh.......
>everyone has to feel special in today's world

(OP)
The way I do it is

>put pan with olive oil on high
>put in mushrooms, onions, and jalapenos
>stir and put down to medium
>then put to simmer-3
>pour in mixed eggs with 2 types of cheeses and sometimes milk
>cheddar and goat cheese is a good mix
>and mixed spices of your choice
>I like salt, pepper, garlic, and dill
>stir fast and place cover on for 10-15 seconds
>take out while soft and creamy
>serve on bread

If your eggs look like OPs pic you cooked them too long.

Did I fuck up, guys?

Best scrambled egg recipe I've ever used-
geniuskitchen.com/recipe/gordon-ramsays-scrambled-eggs-186294

Take a whisk and whisk the shit out of them to create a metric ton of air bubbles in the mix, then toss them in the pan and make as usual.

Lmao everyone has already posted that meme

THROW SOME EGGS IN A PAN ON MEDIUM HEAT.
STIR THE SHIT OUT OF THEM.
KEEP STIRRING UNTIL THEY LOOK LIKE SCRAMBLED EGGS.

That doesn't look so bad to me.

I'd eat that for breakfast.

They tasted great, I used eggs, a tiny bit of malk, cheese and just a bit of water. Whisked the fuck out of it, moved constantly, and added salt/pepper/leftover provolone afterwords.

Whip the fuck out of the eggs until it looks frothy.

Low and slow. Tilt the pan, always stir and take them off the heat every 30 seconds to prevent the layer of cooked egg you might otherwise get at the bottom of the pan. Season at the end instead; salting early causes watery eggs. Do that and you should have delicious custardy eggs.

Ty anons

Put he eggs in a blender, add a bit of sour cream, then blend them on high. This adds air to the mixture.

It's delicious a f though

>I tried adding some pancake batter
w...why?

When they're cooked, turn off the pan and stir in a little sour cream.

If they hold their shape that much, you probably overcooked them. Scrambled eggs should be custardy, not just a pile of fluffy egg.

Rubbish

Man I need to save this because I have to educate you niggas in these threads every other day.
This is for velvety American diner style eggs. Pic is blurry because I was drunk. But you know what I'm talking about.

First of all, the eggs, like any protein, must be brought to room temperature if they aren't already.
Crack them into a bowl. You do not need to whisk them in the bowl.
Pan, nice and medium-low. The best way to make sure it's the right temperature is to get your hands wet and flick a few droplets of water into the pan. You want them to dance around the pan and sizzle, but not evaporate instantly. If they don't sizzle at all, up the heat. If they evaporate in less than a second, lower it.
Now onto the controversy. Do I need to add milk? Do I need to add water? What do I DO? No, you don't need to add anything to the eggs. Just melt a fat hunk of butter into the pan. I don't use a hard and fast measurement, I just hold the stick to the pan and melt more than I think I need. This is the key to rich, diner-style eggs. They will not be good if you skimp on the butter.
Now, eggs, into the pan. Immediately break the yolks and stir them around. Then let them sit and cook for maybe 10 seconds, however long it takes for you to see them start to go cooked on the bottom. Then drag your spatula through the eggs, and tilt the pan, allowing the still-liquid eggs to fill the empty space in the pan, similar to making an omelet.
Repeat until you have nice, velvety eggs. As they get closer to being done, you may notice that the tops are still liquid while the bottoms are getting cooked. In that case, just flip the whole mass with your spatula.
Another important thing to remember with eggs: if they're done in the pan, they will be overdone on your plate.
Take them out while they're still somewhat runny. This takes some practice to time perfectly.

And as they say, wa la!

>I tried adding some pancake batter but that didn't help much.

you're scrambling them before putting them on the pan, you tard.
Put the eggs in the pan let it start to cook, then start scrambling.
You only scramble prior to putting it on the pan if you plan on making an omelet.

>bowl over simmer water
>rare gull eggs
>slowly whisk for 10 hours
>finish with butter and truffles
>great way 2 start the day

youtube.com/watch?v=L1w3_cYMeec

Yeah Gordon's eggs are retarded, but so are the dry solid nuggets that most Americans eat. The best scrambled eggs are cooked the same amount as Gordon's, but cooked hotter and faster, resulting in long, silky curds. This is something I discovered by accident.

Basically get a small nonstick pan, heat it to medium or medium-high with some butter, then add your whisked eggs. Stir constantly, scraping up the cooked bits from the bottom. Mine takes less than 30 seconds.

Milk is flavored white water you asshat

I much prefer making scrambled eggs with omelet mix

So we're all just gonna ignore the fact that he thought the solution to dense eggs was to mix some pancake batter into them?

Pancakes are fluffy ergo eggs + pancake mix = fluffy

Following that logic you could try baking soda, but I don't have high hopes of that turning out well.

Baking powder whoops

Add cream
Don't overcook (most common mistake)

Overcooked

one extra egg white

youtube.com/watch?v=PUP7U5vTMM0

this is the only way you should do them

nonstick pan
high heat
stir literally constantly

jus fookin wisk some yolks in a bowl with some milk and pour it. Then fold the egg over a few times.

egg

undercooked

No, they are an idiot, as you are. Learn to cook/ bake. You obviously have no idea about science.

>literally no stance or argument, just a pretence of superiority

underage

This guy gets it

Can't tell if bait or if you really are this dumb

Some parts look inconsistently cooked, but still cooked.

Wrong.

oN The HeAT
OfF THe hEAt

I am this dumb... so go reverse your World. since milk and water are interchangeable, use milk for everything you cook with water and vis versa... dipshit.

No one said they're interchangeable you dumb fuck

A few here have...

Looks good but jesus christ that's a lot of pepper.

Break 2 eggs into a large coffee mug and place in the microwave, cook on high for a minute then stir with a fork to break it up, cook for another minute and stir again.

I add in ham and spring onion.

Theyre not interchangeable but you must know that milk is mostly water and it would affect much in a recipe as simple as scrambled eggs. Are you from the city?

some things are best left unanswered.

>try baking soda, but I don't have high hopes of that turning out well.
It does, tho. I always add a pinch of soda to make my omelettes fluffy, same works with scrambled eggs. Key word is "pinch". Don't overdo it, it'll be shit

literally everyone does this before making scrambled eggs, I don't understand how you thought this was a good tip

>literally everyone does this
>literally
You don't know what that word means. And no. If you're making scrambled eggs, there's no need to mix them in a bowl. Not everyone likes them "even". Some like it when there's a bit of eggwhite.

I meant literally figuratively

Jesus,fuck, I think I just heard Susie Dent cry out in pain.

*I literally meant "figuratively".

no I didn't literally mean figuratively, I literally meant literally in the figurative sense of the word