Are there any good and effective books on developing wit and humor...

>Rag on their choice of words if they fuck up a sentence. If you know the person give them shit for random stuff.
>It's almost like you're asking how to be a jackass without being afraid of being a jackass
What the fuck are you talking about? Nothing even close to this was ever implied. And dont you know that sometimes friends bust eachothers balls without being mean?

>authors
"Literally" (pun intended) the absolute WORST people to take social advice from.

book of job

>Literally

nice

That's a good recommendation user. Literally never laughed so much in my adult life

Go to a rave do ecstasy for 6 months and you'll come out a better person. I've literally never seen anyone not have a life changing experience after one roll

I third this book.

>jokes are usually a sign of insecurity

PROTIP: there are average guys who work trades and construction that are great at banter as well, its not just depressed social rejects that can only be funny

speaking of calling people out on their shit i can tell that you ironically made that post out of insecurity as well, only your insecurity was resentment over not being funny like those other men are

its not their fault that you dont even know how to do what they do

Say whatever with some discretion. The more you engage in conversation with groups the better you will get. You'll go from the weird guy to the accepted weird guy

Who else here /completelyassimilatethebookthey'rereading/?

If I read Wilde I'll get insufferably witty for days, if I read Petrarch I'll think in poetry for weeks, if I read Nietzsche I'll get as polemic and resonant as possible in my head.

If you're like me read Wilde, Voltaire and Shaw and you'll just understand what kind of mindset is required in order to act that way.

Get hired at a call centre with quotas

This way you'll learn firsthand how to employ charm and wit when you're forced to make a rapport and sell a product in less than a minute.

That isn't learning how to be funny. That is learning how to be a sociopath.

OP listen to a bunch of comedy podcasts. It would be far better than reading. If you go about this in a dorky studious way it will show. Just listen to funny people talk a lot in a casual setting. That is the best advice I can give you.

>I'm not funny but I really really want to be
Trust me it shows.

>That isn't learning how to be funny. That is learning how to be a sociopath.

If that's the case, a comedian persuading you to laugh at his joke is also a sociopath.

But really OP, you want to be flexible in open and social situations. I recommend joining a weekly amateur improvisation group.

>If that's the case, a comedian persuading you to laugh at his joke is also a sociopath.

Lad you are horrible at basic comparisons. The former is actually trying to worm their way into your wallet and sell you something. The other just wants to make you laugh. There are ways that the latter is trying to "sell" you something in a social way, but they aren't actually trying to *sell* you anything legitimately.

Unironically, I was a social autist until I read Stirner.

The only book that has ever helped me with social anxiety is The Ego and His Own.

OP, I don't know why nobody has helped you, but I will.
read Greg Dean's book called I think Step by Step Guide to Stand-Up Comedy. It teaches you how to write jokes. Simple as that. Write jokes. Learn how to write a joke, then write lots of jokes, then your mind is trained to find punchlines in conversation.

Read it and do the exercises. Don't pay for it, don't pay for his classes or anyone.
This book teaches you how to write a joke. It's what Anthony Jeselnik used to become a novice at stand-up comedy.

The trick is to try to use this shit in conversation in a MILD way. Don't be a tryhard faggot.
Start a twitter account to practice writing jokes. Use the techniques in the book.

You use the headline of a news story as the set-up and then you write the punchline. Let me give you an example. I'll write a joke. The big story now is Comey. I'll google for a headline I can use. Googling "Comey," I'll use the first sentence of the Times article:

>President Trump on Tuesday fired the director of the F.B.I., James B. Comey, abruptly terminating the law enforcement official leading a wide-ranging criminal investigation into whether Mr. Trump’s advisers colluded with the Russian government to steer the outcome of the 2016 presidential election.

Ok, so we have a lot here, we have to find something we can use to write a punchline. Then we'll remove the shit we don't need.

Every punchline has a "punch word" which is the word the entire punchline turns on. A punchline should have as few syllables as possible. A punch line re-contextualizes the meaning of the set-up sentence.

The "punch word" has to have an association with a word in the set-up sentence. One useful exercise is to go through every word in the set-up ntence and see what "twists" you could put on it.

President - The fact Trump is President now. The fact the President used to host The Apprentice
Trump - who this guy is
on- nothing
Tuesday - nothing.
Fired- Trump's catchphrase, maybe a pun on fire on shooting someone?

That last one could work. I just remembered on CNN they were comparing this to Nixon- and saying it could lead to Trump's downfall.

cont'd.

This book cures autism but has the unfortunate consequence of turning you into a blood drinking sociopath. Read with caution.

They are both doing their jobs to generate a favourable outcome for themselves

>be a massive angry asshole
>say what im thinking but with a lighthearted tone
>"haha bro ur such a savage LOL"

But blood tastes so good, metallic like vaginal discharge

Seconded for both of these. Wilde is really great. For audio I strongly recommend the Superego podcast.

I also think George Saunders is hilarious, although I haven't read his novel yet (and Civilwarland in Bad Decline is actually super bleak), so is DFW very occasionally, and so is a whole bunch of accessible sci-fi/fantasy that you probably would appreciate more if you were a little younger (Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Hitchhiker's Guide)

How so?

(btw I'm a Trump supporter, so this is not some anti-Trump excuse, I'm just picking an easy target with tons of potential for punchlines using this headline.)

Ok, so I wanna do something with the word Fire, meaning he Fired Comey and also maybe as in firing a warning shot, the shot heard round the world, a shot that begins something, a starter pistol, something to do with this starting the full fledged downfall of his administration. Shooting something.

Fired fire, flames, I just got an idea. So the big thing with Trump is everyone thinks he's an idiot, and also he speaks very plainly, so what if Trump thought firing something was the same thing as burning them at the stake? By pursuing one idea I got another for the word "Fire."

So I have another idea I could pursue. Every word in a set-up could lead to dozens of punch lines. You have to go down a lot of bad paths to get to a funny one. Write 10 punchlines, and one of them will be funny.

Now some of those extra words in the sentence come in handy. I wanna reshuffle them to make the misdirection work.

"On Tuesday President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, ending an investigation in his connections to Russia. Although I'm not sure if he wanted to end his employment or that's what he thinks is the technical term for burning somebody at the stake."

Then I remember a Twitter accounting doesn't have to be a punchline on weekend update. Keep in mind as unfunny as this joke is, SNL and Tonight Show writers go through the same process of writing lots of bad jokes to find one good one using this technique. Greg Dean shows you how to find twists and punch words in set-up sentences.

"When Trump said he wanted Comey to be fired, are we sure he didn't think that was the technical term for burning someone at the stake?"

Some more:

"President Trump fired FBI director James Comey today, and Chuck Schumer fired a starter pistol for the race to impeach him."

Do you see what I'm getting at?

Here's another one using a different word from the set-up. "Steer"

"President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey today, after reports came his campaign was under investigation for colluding with Russians to steer the outcome of the 2016 President Election."

Ok, so Comey steered the election with his Hillary email, and how Comey was accusing Trump of steering the election for the Russians. There's something there. And steering is also something you do with a car, do you could do something with that using car crash metaphors.

cont'd

>Read it and do the exercises.
>The trick is to try to use this shit in conversation in a MILD way. Don't be a tryhard faggot.

lol good luck because that sounds like the most try hard thing ever

you literally want him to write out a comedy routine for himself

the autism continues

>Ok, so Comey steered the election with his Hillary email, and how Comey was accusing Trump of steering the election for the Russians. There's something there.

>There's something there.

lol reading this whole thing was amazing

this is so profoundly sperged out. and this is coming from a sperg too. this is next level.

is this a new pasta?? seems fresh 2 me

Have you ever held up your hands while looking in a mirror, and felt a rush of self-awareness in the understanding that you are not what is in the mirror? Your vision sort of expands, contracts, then refocuses and clarifies all of the little lines and channels in your palms. It's like that for 250 pages, but builds past and heightens the physical sensation I described. I wept for joy at multiple passages.

The first time I engaged in human interaction after I read it, I found that my social anxiety was just gone. The nervousness that once haunted me whenever I spoke to even one person had simply vanished. I guess that was the "honeymoon" period or something along those lines, because in large crowds the anxiety returns, but I'm pretty sure that's because it's difficult to break habits that took decades to inculcate. Essentially, The Ego and His Own helped me realize that my specific fear of human society is nothing but a spook, just like God and all of the others.

it seems to be the best way.

>It's like that for 250 pages

Even those parts about the genology of thought in Africa and Asia?

It functions well if you take it metaphorically, and it's easy to forgive considering how ironclad social Darwinism seemed at the time.

Dude, they are trying to sell tickets.

>President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey today, after reports came his campaign was under investigation for colluding with Russians to steer the outcome of the 2016 President Election.

I've found something here, and it has to do with the word steer (which is only there because I'm demonstrating taking a sentence from a news article. you can word a set-up however you want, and it's not even cheating. It makes it 100 times easier. Writing jokes is fucking easy when you get used to it. It's just a trick. It's a conversational trick, you just take a word from the first sentence and use it as a seed for your second sentence. A friend of mine says he wants to write a book like Ernest Hemingway, I go "I hope you end it like him."

That's a set-up. Here's some punchlines.

>Although in Trump's defense, he was only trying to keep up with Comey

>Said Comey, "that was MY job!"

(the punchline makes fun of Comey. We merely flip it around to make fun of Trump like so:)

>Said Trump "I was only trying to steer it towards the Russians to keep up with Comey."

>Said Trump "I never steered the election,, that was HIS job!"

blah blah blah.

I'll pick some headlines and write punchlines for them.

>Vogue India fights backlash over Kendall Jenner anniversary cover
>They said having someone who eats more than once a week would be an unrealistic role model for young Indian girls.

>Game Of Thrones star Sophie Turner is shutting down allegations suggesting she used the 'N' word in a recent Instagram video post. (game of thrones jokes are easy)
>Said Turner "I'm not prejudiced, my best friend is in the night's watch and she told me I could use that word"

>ABC announced a deal Tuesday to revive "American Idol," only a year after the powerhouse music competition aired its 15th and last season on Fox.
>Not revived will be anyone's interest on a show that was cancelled after 15 repetitive seasons

>Orange Is The New Black star Jamie Denbo said she was informed that at 43, she was too old to play the wife of a 57 year old on a new HBO show.
>Although to be fair, she's 90 in feminist years.

Another one:
>In response the producers of the show said "Actually, we didn't want to hire somebody unstable enough to go on Twitter rants about the show when she didn't get her way."

Another one:
>Said the producers, "It wasn't that she was too old, it's just she had too many wrinkles and bags on her face due to viewing the world though paranoid feminist eyes."

And just to write one punchline that wasn't anti-feminist (which I am)

>In the show's defense, it was the Muhammad Story.

Etc, etc...

Every now and then you find a gold vein and you can write a hundred punchlines from one set-up. That's all a hashtag game is.

>>Game Of Thrones star Sophie Turner is shutting down allegations suggesting she used the 'N' word in a recent Instagram video post. (game of thrones jokes are easy)
>>Said Turner "I'm not prejudiced, my best friend is in the night's watch and she told me I could use that word"

i wish i knew how your mind words.

you're the best, dude. the best.

this is so sperged out it's a joy to read.

No, I want him to get a Twitter account so he can practice writing lots of shitty jokes using Greg Dean's book so he can train his mind to find punchlines in conversation.

Once you do that you can do it on conversation. It's just training your mind to think a certain way, which is to "find the joke." Find the word.

But in conversation, it's more like playing tennis for fun. You're just serving casually to the other person. You're not trying to smash the other person with a killer serve. You just keep the ball in the air where the other person can hit it easily. It's just an easy serve. back and forth back and forth.

there is such a rupert pupkin vibe to all of these posts. do you imagine yourself giving late night monologues? it honestly reads like that.

I'm trying to demonstrate how the mind works. I don't normally write out my thought process like this. I'm showing you the basic technique. It's just a sarcastic comment about the set-up sentence essentially.

My mother was watching Law & Order SVU a few weeks ago and there was a character who said "Rape is in my genes, I wasn't responsible. I have the genes of a rapist!" I went "he's black?" and my father laughed for like a minute.

Today at work I was looking at apartments and said "look here's a sublet that's looking for girls only for $250 a month" My coworker a 47 year old lady said "I can see that's the one you'd want to get!" and I go "I'll just say I'm transitioning." Cracked the entire office up. It wasn't even funny.

None of this shit is funny. Its just an instant sarcastic quippy thing i'm trained to do after reading this book and listening to Opie & Anthony for 10 years.

Maybe it seems spergy but that's just my trying to demonstrate a thought process using the book's techniques. Social jokes are not the funniest jokes. Social jokes are the most accessible jokes.

One time a coworker called me a half-a-fag. I went "Half?" Again, the entire office laughed. it's fucking easy. It's funny because my response was one word, one syllable. That's what this looks like once you know what you're doing. It's casual banter, not a written joke routine.

But if you're on Veeky Forums you're not there yet.

"You were right, user, and we were wrong."

Or let me put it to you this way. The Sophie Turner thing. Is it funny, no. But if you're at work and they're talking about the story. "Did you hear the girl who plays Sansa said the n-word on Instagram?" If anyone at the table watches Game Of Thrones, just say "Night's Watch" and you will make them laugh. I'm not saying it's funny, I'm saying you did the same thing I just laid out in the post above, but in a second. All this shit I wrote up takes place in one fucking second in a conversation.

That's not tryhard at all. It's you firing out two syllables at lunch. "Night's watch?" would get a laugh. It's easy and casual and accessible (if you knew someone there watched game of thrones."

"wow what a great audience"

Jerry, I imagine the bad striking up the instruments now.

At a very crowded party. About to yell niggers in the middle of the dance floor. Hopefully will attract a mate. Wish me luck.

Kill yourself and hope you're reincarnated into someone with charisma.

"good luck, bro"

What's his name again, /r/opieandanthony?

Thank you for the time you put into this, I'm gonna check out that book. Like OP, I've wanted to be funnier. Been watching lots of standup/Kill Tony and trying to break it down on my own but this was pretty helpful

Books will not help you get witty or funny

Youre better off joining an improv group for that

It will draw you out of shell more than what a book could only tell you

social skills need to be shown and practiced not theorized and read about

show and practice THIS

*unzips dick*

pfft books, a waste of time. Keep hanging around with people and copy the sort of jokes they make, and the timing. That's how you get funny, practice, trial and error, and developing other areas of your communication skills which will allow you to build jokes on top of things.

I don't think its well-crafted if its obviously bait and nobody falls for it.

People who work trades and construction are depressed losers, man. All the tradesmen I know are funny as fuck, but alcoholics and weed addicts.

It is a thing we of the older generation used to a call a joke. Please seek medical help for dealing with your autism.

>My mother was watching Law & Order SVU a few weeks ago and there was a character who said "Rape is in my genes, I wasn't responsible. I have the genes of a rapist!" I went "he's black?" and my father laughed for like a minute.

I feel like that would only work around racists.

Not that guy but in my experience around a certain type of college aged liberal but not overly political kid these kinds of banal racist jokes are funny because they are taboo.

theyre only funny if youre a consistent virtue signaler
if youre a known right-winger and you say anything of the sort you'll be crucified and people will stop talking to you

>not everyone is a racist
Grow up.

i tell this to ugly people about fashion. you look fucking stupid when you try to dress like me. im handsome. i can pull shit off. you look retarded. wear shit that is interesting, but not typically worn by better looking people. otherwise you just make it more obvious you're ugly by drawing comparison. same goes for people that are no interesting. don't try to be in the typical way actually charasmatic people do

Guy who recommend the Greg Dean book here. This isn't a particularly bad idea.

I would also recommend the Dale Carnegie course for people skills in general- just don't overdo it. Or Toastmasters.

The books show you what to practice.

I think this is true to a certain extent. Handsome people get away with murder. But confidence can make you appear more handsome. How do you get confident? Practice.

Also, I forgot the biggest thing- KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. Don't be high energy joking with low energy people. Imitate the other person's vibe. Don't tell dead baby jokes at work. This is common sense, but that's not so common.

Practice writing jokes. Train your mind to find the joke in every sentence you hear. But only tell the homeruns. That might be literally 1 in 100. Write 100 jokes, and 1 one might funny at first- post that on Twitter.

It's kind of like that advice about not trying to upload the first 7 youtube videos you make. Or that thing about "the first 1000 strike-outs don't count."

Watch popular television shows, perhaps take a look at the best comedians of today. Try making some jokes about your filthy vagina, just like Amy Shumer.

There aren't any

I told a joke I though she would tell, "I started wiping back to front because I figured, what's the difference?" Everyone thought it was very funny.

Holy shit this post is depressing.

Not particularly, no.

You're a fool if you think the first joke you write will be good. If you're painfully shy, trying to "riff" with everyone else is a recipe for disaster. You will only embarrass yourself.

Normal people don't need Greg Dean's book. Aspiring comics and autists on Veeky Forums could benefit from it.

Why would anyone think this is funny?

I'd rather hang out with the autistic person who has real interests than the weirdo who's constantly trying to impress by imitating my vibe, thinking of jokes and forcing some kind of persona over his dead hollow self. That's just me though.

I guarantee I know more about classic illustration and comic book art than you. I guarantee I know more about bodybuilding, old movies, and western novels than you.

My interests don't require me to act inappropriately in social situations, because I'm also interested in being well-liked by my coworkers.

>than the weirdo who's constantly trying to impress by imitating my vibe

You misunderstood. I was warning AGAINST trying too hard to 'impress' people. I was saying 'be cool, dude, you're at work, not on a comedy stage. you're not putting on a show for anyone, you're talking about the weather at work.'

>thinking of jokes

When you get good at they just come to you by habit.

>forcing some kind of persona over his dead hollow self.

What led you to that conclusion?

>That's just me though.

I'm guessing that describes your social life as well?

>old movies
Pseud detected. This is a stock phrase in their handbook.

Idk dude. You're boasting on an internet forum, I mean really? You say be cool then you talk about doing shit like thinking of jokes for every sentence and imitating the vibe of someone else.

I hang out with whoever just goes with it and doesn't put on a fucking show like he's trying to suck my dick or something.

Ok, I forgot another important technique. You have to get good and fast at alphabetizing rhyming words. Here's what that works. Me and this girl Sarah I work with were watching TV in the breakroom and there was a commercial for Farmers Only, a dating website. She goes "why is there a dating website called farmer's only?" I go "I guess 'farmer's horny' was taken." She laughs. She sings the jingle. The jingle goes "you don't have to be lonely at farmer's only dot com." only she said "you don't have to watch be horny." she expected me to finish "at farmer's horny dot com," which is the same joke I just made. I sing "You could fuck Sarah's hot mom."

She laughed for a minute and punched me. It was the funniest thing she'd heard in a long time.

That's just rhyming jokes. in a split second you have to find the words that rhyme, flip through the consonants quickly.

"lonely-" bonely? conely, donly? I picked "horny" (which doesn't even rhyme) and I found something that rhymes with dot com. I picked hot mom, I could have sang "you'll die alone on your farm" or something else.

Learn to rhyme.

Why have you made this a conscious thing

Just do it out of your brain

I'm not sure what that word means, I don't post on Veeky Forums very often, but I do love TCM.

>You say be cool then you talk about doing shit like thinking of jokes for every sentence

I'm saying that that happens naturally as a habit after years of doing it and listening to comedians on the radio and podcasts. You learn how "hear" sentences as set-ups. I don't mean to brag, my life is boring and shitty, I'm terrible with money, and I'm depressed, but I know about jokes. The OP asked for advice, I'm giving it.

>and imitating the vibe of someone else.
Which is common sense that I don't expect autists on Veeky Forums to have.

>I hang out with whoever just goes with it and doesn't put on a fucking show like he's trying to suck my dick or something.

Like?

Different things come to people naturally. Some guys are naturally great at sports. I fucking suck at it. Sandy Koufax used to draw detailed charts of how to throw a baseball. Lots of baseball players thought that was useless and obvious and that it couldn't be taught. using charts Now pro ball players study his charts and their pitches improve. I wouldn't know how to throw a curveball "out of my brain."

Everything done easily in an unconscious way has to be learned consciously and deliberately at first.

I can honestly say that I haven't willingly cultivated a personality or sense of humour, however, and I am generally well liked by people I interact with

Like you say, different strokes

Oh, also another thing this is useful for is making parody titles. Today at work this lady I work with said Trump was acting like a fascist. I go "Il Douche-ay." To me that's a super obvious joke, but it got a laugh. It's not difficult to make people laugh in social settings. 99% of the time the most obvious joke is good enough.

If your fat friend is talking about how he loves call of duty, say "call of foodie," "apocalypse cow" or "flags of our fatties." It's just finding a word that rhymes to make a parody. That's like 1950s Mad Magazine shit, incredibly easy.

you're dumb as fuck, homie, he's gotta start somewhere, and figuring it out by writing his own jokes is perfectly okay.

This is true in my experience. I worked in a factory for about two years and those motherfuckers had the most top-tier banter imaginable. They also did nothing but drink in their spare time.

They were already suspecting her vag was shitty.

If you want to be a comedian sure, otherwise it's strange.
>Which is common sense that I don't expect autists on Veeky Forums to have.
What? It's common sense to connect with people you naturally connect with. You sound like you have issues t b h.
>Like?
What are you even asking?

I fucking hate ecstasy and it didn't change my life at all. Just makes me feel like a over-energised and emotive retard whenever I take it.

Mushrooms and acid changed my life though.

Lose the social anxiety and you'll be funnier.

Funniness in group situations is more about being one with the group than any content or anything. That's why stand up and being funny in real life aren't necessarily the same skill. Not all stand up comedians are funny socially, and most socially funny people aren't necessarily going to make better stand up comedians. Because humour in conversation is more about the actual social interaction than anything else.

Even fart noises are funny depening on who you're with, the context, and how well you both want to get along (and how comfortable you feel with each other)

To make people laugh, just make them feel comfortable, take some of the social pressure off them and put it onto you, by alluding to innocuous but unspoken truths, or lightly making a fool of yourself (not in any real sense though, don't degrade yourself.)

It's a real social skill, and not one that you simply learn formally. Being funny is a byproduct of being at ease and skilled socially.

>

I'm naturally a serious person

It does make day to day life much harder

DFW was pretty much right
We live in and cultivate a society that loves irony and insincerity

Honestly, I feel like the people calling you a sperg are the real spergs.

This is quite a reasonable post.

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Talking shit on your boys doesn't make you a jackass me and my homies say awful shit to each other all the time it's all in jest no one is offended. Thus you aint an asshole.

humor is not insincerity you dolt

You can't learn humor. You either have it or you don't.

alright buddy i wasn't going to reply but here you go. ive watched all the stand up comedy you probably can watch and analysing it now the funniest jokes are the unexpected ones, you set up a premise then go in a direction that totally blind sights people. you probably don't want to be a pro so i wouldn't worry too much, but the best thing about what your post said is that you're in social situations in the first place, this is the first step, exposing yourself to people who are funny or at least are trying to be, learn from what makes other people laugh and try to emulate it, don't laugh at your own jokes, half the time keeping a straight face or not cringing or showing weakness is a huge factor to people believing in the joke ( confidence ). if you really care deeply about wanting to become witty in these situations to impress people, try to remember or write down what your friends said and what made people laugh, and have conversations in your brain with yourself in reply to what they say, as long as it takes you will come up with something to reply with and keep having these conversations until you remember some of the essence of what you can say next time when you are in the same situation. We are social creatures, everything is learnt, learn to interact by doing this if you want, or don't you probably wont, and now after all this typing im going to fucking click im not a robot and click some stupid fucking pictures, thanks cunt how worth was it.