I've had the shits for almost a month

I've had the shits for almost a month.
I noticed it would happen after I drank milk, so I gave up milk.
Then I noticed it would happen after I drank energy drinks, so I gave up energy drinks.
Then I noticed it would happen after I drank coffee, so I gave up coffee.
Then I noticed it would happen after I drank Coca-Cola, so I gave it up.

I drank nothing but water for the last two weeks and had no problems. I had a glass of sweet tea with lunch today and nearly shit my pants at work.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

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Maybe it wasn’t actually any of the things you identified

See a doctor

Hmm user, that's not good. You should consider consulting a doc. Seems to me like you may have some type of colon cancer :/

That would be easy to fin out if you went to a person whose job it is to know these things. Oh wait you are probably american and poor. Nevermind.

good news, you can have milk, energy drinks, and coke without problems

Maybe this, but I drink coffee almost exclusively to get the shits. Otherwise I have to spend like half an hour wiping and it's just ridiculous.

I think OP is full of shit

>Maybe it wasn’t actually any of the things you identified
I only made the connection because it would happen so quickly after consumption.
Like it was within minutes of me finishing the drink before I would start getting a grumbling in my stomach, and 10-15 minutes need to run to the bathroom.

Get the little pocket wipes for glasses from an optometrist. They're great for when you're not at home.
They have rubbing alcohol on them so it tingles your butthole a little bit.

Sounds like your gut flora is out of balance and/or your diet is too low on fiber.
Try to eat natural yogurt for a while and see if that helps. If it doesn't get better see a doctor.

probably time to go see a doctor, you might have colitis or IBS

but I guess you are american, so you don't have $135,000 lying around for a doctor visit and test

>I only made the connection because it would happen so quickly after consumption.
Yeah that still doesn’t warrant self diagnosis. That should only motivate you to see a doctor.

I would suggest eating food as well

For short term solution: Morosoup. Shit was invented to cure the shits and it did a good job at that, it cures every form of shits caused by bacteria and can even cure forms of shits which can't be cured by medication.

Peel 1/2 kg of Carrots
Boil carrots in 1l water for 1 hour
Blend these carrots, put it back and fill it up untill 1l with the water you used to boil the carrots.
Add 3g of salt.

Drink a glass a few times per day over the span of several days.

Also, in general: eat more fiber. Consider to bake bread by yourself, eat oats or something. Just make sure you get enought fiber in your system. Also, keep your shit clean, wash hands after using the shitter and everything.

Most importantly, move your ass to a doctor.

Where does this meme come from, I can walk into any doctor I want and be seen within a few hours and my insurance covers it easily.

The fact that this doesn't apply to all american citizens

It comes from Europeons who think that their healthcare is "free" because they get assraped on their taxes to pay for it, instead of paying for it separately out of "their own money"

*catches Hepatitis from uninsured people around him*

medical insurance isn't free either is it?

>energy drinks, coke, coffee and tea give you the shits
Sounds like you may be senisitive to caffeine user. Perhaps lactose or a1 casein too

your stomach is sensitive to acidic drinks (coke, energy drink, coffee). not exactly sure why milk a problem but drinking water is overall the best solution.

fasting is a good solution to recover from such an imbalance, though overall you should consult a doctor.

keep drinking water, overall it's the most healthy thing you can do, without killing yourself, except when you overdo it maybe

>American defending his healthcare system
Oh here we bloody go. Welcome to the cognitive dissonance show sponsored by Walmart.

typical amerifat doesn't know how his other insurances work but shits on health care because "muh scheckels are financing the poor goyims".

jesus you are a bunch of uneducated low life shits

>muh 'murrican healthcare system is duh bestest 'cause, uh, I uh, pay a shitload for muh private premiums 'cause dem dere corporations can charge me whatever they want since we done be'in free here in corporate land. Whew, typin' all dat out got me hungered up already.
>WHO ranks 'murricas healthcare system 37th and Cuba 39th

We sho' nuff beat dem dar commies!

NEETs and Niggers hate American Healthcare because only people who deserve it get it

The reason everyone comes here for important medical treatment trumps worthless metrics that consider human garbage to have merit or worth

Fix your diet nigguh

crohns my dude

All of those things except the milk have caffiene which gives people this shits. You could just be sensitive to it. As for the milk you could be lactose intolerant.

Well what is your diet like? Do you eat any fiber?

>using Veeky Forums as your doctor
lol

OP the best way to get your gut flora back into balance is an enema with the excrement of another person with a healthy gut flora. It has been shown to be extreemely effective.

youtu.be/p34j0atQdJo

Show me where the American touched you

Fermented foods also works almost as well.

eat more fibre.

fibre gives your shits substance so they aren't just a tacky sticky mess. this is true even more so if carbohydrates make up a good part of your diet.

think raw fibrous vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, bran, oats.


also energy drinks, coffee, tea and cola, all contain caffeine. maybe you are just sensitive to caffeine.

Leafs who think their shitty excuse for health care is "world class"

>I only made the connection because it would happen so quickly after consumption.

Wouldn't that imply it's not what you're drinking but you?

jesus how fucking dumb

lol you idiot wait like 3-4 hours after your last meal. my poops are always in one piece ever since i ditched the 3 meals a day with snacks meme.