ITT gross confessions that you can't tell anyone because if you did they would probably kill you

ITT gross confessions that you can't tell anyone because if you did they would probably kill you.

Once I had a family reunion at my cousin's house down in Louisiana, right? We usually don't get together unless someone dies, so this was a first for all of us. Anyways, my cousins ask of I'll make the chicken salad finger sandwiches for everyone while they go out and shoot a deer for the stew later. They took the car, so I'm stuck in this house that's on 5 story-high stilts in the bayou with no one and no stores around. I couldn't find any chunk chicken, so I used cans of chicken flavored cat food, covered it in onion powder, mixed it with mayonnaise, dill pickle relish, garlic powder, and a lone chicken flavored packet belonging to an instant ramen bag. I put the bowl of this stuff in the fridge to chill. My cousins come back, and she dips her finger in this catfood-mayo concoction, tastes it, and tells me it's amazing.
I made finger sandwiches for everyone.
They loved it.

I fucked my history teacher in highschool

post pics or it didn't happen

the meme is
'pics or it didn't happen'

Upload photographic evidence lest we fail to suspend our disbelief

Stfu

Why would they ask you to cook something without providing you with a way to get the ingredients? Reeks badly like "never happened".

Lmao, fucking subhuman flyovers probably consider this fine dining

I'll eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting and then regurgitate it over the next hour or so.

I made a cheesecake for my family and crushed up the graham crackers with my hands. An old cut opened and it was awhile before I noticed. There was a fair amount of blood in the crust. They all said it was the best cheesecake I ever made. But that's because I overcooked all the other ones.

My parents were once too drunk to do anything and my mom tried to fuck me because she thought I was my dad. I went along with it so I could lose my virginity but then she got pregnant an I don't think either of them know

i eat raw meat sometimes.


my favorite dessert is a combination of oats, cocoa powder, sugar, and butter.

I once took a sip of orange juice and noticed a big, slimy clump in my mouth. When i checked inside the bottle, it was all moldy. Fml

>orange kombucha is bad

I sometimes lick the semen off my fingers and handle raw meats w/o washing hands

This but unironically

Same, also unironically

This but ironically

not this, but unironically

not this, but ironically

Whenever I have ice cream I let it melt down to a liquid then drink it down while pretending it's a massive load of cum.

sometimes, i pee in the sink.

I shit in the shower so I can mash it through the grate and see if all my food was digested properly

I almost touched a girls pussy