Who else here wants to eat an Eldridge horror?

Some mornings you just can't muster any energy beyond whats necessary to let out a short stream of curses before deciding fuck it and trudging back off to bed. Considering how lovecraftian tales are all about how we can't really do jack shit to these beings one can only assume this was the case.

it's Eldritch, Eldridge was the spaceship in Xenogears. Though in fairness that was probably a mistranslation and was supposed to be Eldritch.

Either way, I can't help but feel like eating it would cause mutations.

The story depicts cthulhu being a little bitch boy who takes his ball and goes home when he gets hit by a boat, therefore one can only assume cthulhu is a little bitch boy who takes his ball and goes home when he gets hit by a boat.

Yeah, it couldn't possibly be that HP hadn't yet developed his mythos entirely when he wrote that (early) story

What is this? An /x/ crossover? Get!

Fuck no I wouldn't, that's gotta be how you catch salmonella of the brain or diarrhea of the mind.

Eldridge Farms remembers
Remembers all that is and is yet to be

Gazing upon the physical manifestation of Lesser Eldritch Gods often leads to Oblivion of the Minds of the Uninitiated, where as being in the presence of a physical manifestation of a Greater Eldritch ensures Oblivion of Physicality, Mentality and Spiritual in a consumption beyond consumption, akin to a multi dimensional black void that rips apart the very energy that binds your atomic composition in an eternal microsecond to all lesser beings.

And you are asking me if I'd consume a portion of these things.

Listen, consumption does not mean you end the presence of something; its just becoming an extension of you. With creatures like these, these immortal, ageless, formless entities that transcend dimensions; you'd be becoming an extension of it, if you were even able to find a piece of a legitimate piece of Physicality of an Eldritch (Which is like trying to find a naturally occurring 5 pound instance of Olonium, which is a particle that exists only because of dimensional possibilities, and has a spawn rate of 1/10TrillionGigoogleplexian (Google 1+100 zeros, Googleplexian= 1+Google of Zeros, GiGoogleplexian-+1+Googleplexian of Zeros) every 1 Planck Second, which does not stack in probability) [Not theoretically impossible, but so unlikely that it is not attainable in the time frame of Humanity]
If by chance such a thing was done, consuming a piece of Eldritch Flesh would just being an extension of, and wasting a truly unimagibly rare artifact. If you want to be an extension of an Eldritch, there are easier ways.

But to own a piece of Eldritch physicality, you could become a Lesser God in your right.

Neat

be careful what you wish for

however this thread has given me the idea of entertaining the idea for a short story. A naval vessel on an Antartic voyage recovers a frozen bit of lesser Eldritch, which they begin to consume once rations have exhausted. One by one, the crew members would become extensions of the Eldritch, abominations of Flesh, Tooth and Tendril, oozing and dripping rancid physicality with each step, transforming the ship into Flesh itself as the infestation grows. The narrator would be the only one to escape before the ship is drug down into the icy cold abyss by its frozen host, stranded in the subzero desert of the Antartic clutching onto his journal of events; a closing word would be a discovery of the frozen corpse, and a single black piece of rancid flesh on the back cover that throbs slightly at the body heat of the discovery team.

now I'm hungry

>doesn't want diarrhea of the mind
>posts on Veeky Forums
user, I uhh.. you should sit down for this.

1/3 umbilical cords?

I think this writer from Bogleech has beaten you to the punch.

bogleech.com/creepy/creepy15-ATasteofPaleFlesh.html

The night is still young, hunter.

...

I keep hearing and seeing Austin powers references. What's happening

art is "spawnsire of ulamog" from magic the gathering in case anyone was wondering

no thanks

I hear you turn into a squid baby

You're a big horror

For humanity.

Did you eat the flesh of an Austin Power's God?

It's crazy how some people just can't be funny.

Good post

Its limbs seem thin, the meat is probably tough and sinewy. The only soft part is probably its loin. I'd discard the organs, although I'd try the brain and it's sexual organs in butter.

I ate some chili

I'd eat her alright

I also want to eat an Eldritch Horror

pic related

I'd rather have sex with one to be honest.

What if she was only 11 years old? Would you put your penis inside her if the only other choice was to be eaten by an Eldridge horror? Don't lie

>Consuming flesh from creatures that huddle in the utter darkness between the stars

You fools. You utter fools.

Weren't most of the Old Ones just indescribable masses of tentacles and light?

You could probably cook up a shoggoth though

So I either fuck Saya or get eaten by an Eldritch Horror?

I think that choice is obvious

We eat chitinous ten-limbed beast from the Cambrian Era that roam the lightless depths of the sea feasting upon the dead. We catch these ancient horrors in traps that literally use non-euclidean geometries to drive them mad and then we burn them alive in boiling water and rip them apart with our bare hands at the dinner table.

They taste quite good with clarified butter and little bit of lemon.

I DIDNT EAT ANY CORN

>bacon on top
kek

Yes but after you'll be known as a dirty pedo. Being eaten by an Eldridge terror might not have been so bad after all

go to the food thread currently on /v/, that is where true horror lies

Worth it, world will be ending soon after anyway.

There is nothing funny about the utter uncaring void of the universe

I'll pass on spawnsire. I want the main course. I want Emrakul.

I love how arcane "non-euclidean geometries" must sound to the uneducated.

>Perhaps it was us who were the eldritch horrors all along

No because your orgasm is so exceptionally intense from fucking the Loli that you ejaculate with the force of a thousand suns and blast the elder itch horror into pieces

If people in this situation knew he fucked a loli, they'd also know that it was that or death and they'd know about the world-saving jizz kamehameha. So if anything, user would get a parade and a medal, and be on talk shows.

Trust me, I'm a law student.

fucking the loli, exceptionally intense orgasm, AND saving the world? Sounds like a win-win to me.

He gets it

Ah, Kos.
Or as some say, Kosm.

You ever just say "fuck it" and try to take a bite out of Azathoth

>azathoth wakes up
>universe ends