Anyone got some recipes for this?

What would happen if you ate this? Would you get ultra fat and blow up?

Yes. This is an artist's rendering of the process.

are people really this fucking dumb?

You will die from the alpha decays effects on your body.

oh shit damn

Kill yourself, crossposting redditor shit.

Or if you cant make homemade lithium deuteride and plutonium, finishing your uranium with some store bought polonium and lithium is fine.

why do you have this gif, user?

see alpha particles weigh a lot so you get really fat. that's how radiation kills you

t. nuclear physics man

T H I C C

20 billion? That's almost as many jews that were killed in the Hall of Cost.

stop trying to fit in, its embarrassing.

Do you understand where you are?

No, it'll go straight to your thighs.
Then you'll blow up.

I remember MY first gram of uranium.

lol

I saw a webm like that once, one of those ultra fresh sushi places.

Fat with fluid retention and subdermal bleeding

Yea, that is the amount of energy you could get out of it in a nuclear reactor

Nice source Google/OP

I love some uranium with some good ol' 'chup, it makes my tentacles tingle

>being this new
amazon.com/Images-SI-Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM

s-sauce?

ever put a little 'num on 'za? Wow--it gets your tastebuds a turnin.

This item does not ship to the Netherlands :(

>not measuring energy by weight

you end up like this

How in the fuck is this on topic? And before you give a lulzy reply, just look at the number of shitty newfags in this thread trying to fit in here. You lay out shit you're gonna attract flies

What do you mean? It got calories and is therefore a food item which can be consumed, especially good when bulking and washed down with this.

are people really this fucking dumb?

but uranium doesn't burn, you can't compute calories out of it

>Uranium doesn't burn
Tell that to the nips.

Not even if you throw it into the sun?

The questions and answers section is great.

>can't order because not murican
JUST

Some autistic kids will probably believe all that and put it up their cat's butthole kek

>t. JIDF

Calories are a measure of the amount of energy required to heat water.
Burning is just how you do it with food.

Calorimeters are bullshit anyways

>tfw mom makes some uranium yellow cake for your birthday

Just make sure you handle it correctly or you'll end up like hisashi ouchi here

>hisashi ouchi
>ouchi
Indeed.

majority of Veeky Forums is female

What do you think Uranium tastes like?

>Calories are a measure of the amount of energy
Just stop there. Calories are a unit of energy, nothing more.

>required to heat water.
That's not part of the definition of a calorie, that's just one way that caloric content of things happens to be measured.

>>Burning is just how you do it with food.
No. Burning is how you learn about it when you're in chem 101. The calorie contents of food (9 cals/gram for fat, 7 for alcohol, and 4 each for carbs and protein) are called Attwater factors. They were calculated based on empirical studies of how the human body breaks down food. Those numbers do not come from a calorimeter, they come from empirical research on human metabolic rates. Attwater factor. Google it.

Thought I was a minority

rancid pusy

Implying woman can cook. I never met one.

Atwater still used bomb calorimeters as a baseline
It's hackery all the way down

>female
Sorry faggot-kun, but 30 year old men roleplaying as chinese cartoon schoolgirls doesn't count.

>Veeky Forums can cook
this isn't 2007 runescape shitlord, there are plenty of female anons here

>▶plenty of female anons here
you don't understand what no girls on the internet means

It's really autistic to post this when someone is just pointing out the demographics of a board. That pic's only useful in response to "btw im a grill" shit

RIP inflatechan

no grils, only anons.
Stop being a white knight faggot.

>there are plenty of female anons here
see above

It's amazing how un-fun fedoras manage to make every thread they participate in.

boipucci is best pussy

Where do the calories come from if it has no fat, carbs, sugars, or protein? What form does the food energy take?

It's a joke, user. The "9000 calories" is a reference to the Dragon Ball Z cartoon which apparently says something about "power level 9000" or something like that.

It's like its your first day online or something.....

wtf if uranium is so unstable why aren't rocks in my garden blowing up?

Cosmic energies which brainlets can't comprehend

if you mix uranium with pic related it will open a black hole

Whilst Veeky Forums does have more female posters than some of the other boards, it's not majority. /cgl/ which is colloquially termed "vagina valley" is still only barely above the halfway point as far as axewound posters go.

Why the heck is this legal to buy?! You could literally make a nuclear bomb in your garage what the hell

what the fug

calories aren't related to biologie or anything. you dry some matter, burn it, and count how much water evaporated. It's stupidly vague to apply it to food because fibers and fat burn really well but aren't assimilated as well as sugar. proteins kinda burn but your body isn't using them to create energy either. It's just a case of "we can't find anything that work so we keep the shitty one that doesn't"

I wonder what happens if you eat 1 kg uranium.

first day on the internet, bro? you can buy anything here

So you are saying that one could get jacked as fuck from eating it?

That's fucking retarded. Lemme just buy a bunch of uranium and dump it into some river creating an army of killer mutant fish

>contains peanuts

where

Don't do this guys it makes mustard greens

...

>Why the heck is this legal to buy?!
Why wouldn't it be?
Uranium ore is pretty common stuff, and it takes an immense amount of it (not to mention millions if not billions of dollars worth of machinery) to get even a tiny bit of weapons-grade material. The overwhelming majority of uranium is the wrong isotope to make bombs.

Ask /k/.

As long as you have your tax stamp.

bump

>he goes to Veeky Forums for serious discussion

It is also important to note that this process is not exclusive to humans, but also affects members of the equestrian genus.

You need a lot of something very unstable for it to sustain a reaction ie; reach critical mass. The more unstable it is the less mass you need of it but even then we are still talking ~50 kilograms.

Yum, I would love to stick my dick in that thick mass of cellulite and use it as a prophylactic to fuck a much thinner and more attractive horse.

They're talking about the energy it would release by nuclear fission, right? because there's certainly no organic reaction with uranium that'd result in a release of that much energy.

Imagine if our bodies could harness nuclear fission for power.

The energy is thermal and kinetic energy as atoms decay and their components shoot out of the uranium mass.

You would need to enrich it first to make it a higher isotope, which you can't afford the machinery for and probably don't know how to do.

Can I build an atomic bomb with 50kg of it?

In English thanks docs

With plutonium probably, with a neutron reflector and a catalyst but it needs to be perfectly machined for max concentration. U-238 which is what most uranium on the ground consists of, is not extremely radioactive but still radioactive enough to fuck you up if you eat it, hold it for too long or breathe it suspended in air.

That was laymans terms sorry bruv, nuclear physics is a long but rewarding road.

It IS a seasoning you dolt, preferably for Lemon Cake.

Nah, you'll get thin. Really thin.