Why am I unable to make mayonnaise?

why am I unable to make mayonnaise?

you're not squeezing hard enough

whats going wrong?

Maybe because the ingredients you use are too cold. Or you add too much oil in the beginning

it always seperates or is too runny

omo

I find mayonnaise disgusting and that does not make me sad. Fuck mayonnaise, ketchup and mustard is where it's at.

>Or you add too much oil in the beginning
This. At the beginning: small amount, homogenize, small amount, homogenize...
I never missed one since I carefully do this, to the point I question the relevance of ingredients' temperatures.

Pull on your pecker some more. You make some in no time sport. Ever since my son learned to pump off,we've saved a fortune on mayonnaise. Makes for good eatin with sammiches.a

Because your technique is sloppy and your recipe improvised

same as what the other dudes say:

- ingredients too cold or too warm
- adding the oil to fast

are you mixing by and or use a mixer?

also, when it splits, add a tiny amount of water

i add some oil and keep beating away...then add more and more oil and keep beating faster

in the end, it's just one sticky mess and I'm exhausted

You are.

I can't imagine going through life with out a McChicken. For me, it is really the best fast food sandwich. With mayo.

In fact, if I don't get enough mayo in my McChicken (happens regularly), I take it back and ask for more. They always offer me a new sandwich, but I say no and ask for more mayo in the one they already made for me.

mayo and ketchup is god's cum

>Fuck mayonnaise
How is it possible to hold such an incorrect opinion?

I have never had mayo NOT turn out right.

1 egg yolk
1 tsp mustard
1 pinch of salt
1 squirt lemon juice
vinegar to taste
250ml oil

whisk the first four ingredients, then slowly add the oil and keep whisking. Then finish seasoning with the vinegar.

...

>ketchup

beat the shit out of the egg/mustard/salt/vinegar mixture before you add any oil, then add it very, very slowly, that will fix your problem

wrong, good mayonnaise is an essential condiment that should be on everyone's table

I can accept that you don't like certain brands of mayo, but it is beyond ridicoulus that you just straight up say that mayo is disgusting

desu mayo is shit unless you make it yourself and given that its a pita to make this is not an unreasonable opinion

someones palate being different than yours is "beyond ridiculous"
>the absolute state of Veeky Forums

Try to add very little oil at a time, stir until it's all uniform and mayonaise-like, then add a tiny anmount more
rinse and repeat
don't rush adding oil, that's literally the only way this can go wrong
OH and if you fuck up at a late stage, you can put a yolk in a bowl and slowly add the fucked up mayo instead of oil just like if you were adding oil

>Try to add very little oil at a time,
This.

Better yet, use a blender or a food processor instead of whisking by hand. Just slowly pour in the oil while the machine is running.

Are you 4 years old?

Veeky Forums is a whites only board

Like everyone else says, add the oil slow REALLY FUCKING SLOW, LIKE FUCKING LEAKY FAUCET DROPS. When the emulsion forms you can speed up a little bit BUT NOT TOO MUCH OR YOU'LL FUCK IT UP AGAIN.

You are a harp seal. You have large ungainly flippers, best suited to frolicking in icy waters, not mixing delicate condiments.

0 point in making ur own mayonnaise
gonna go bad in a few days lol

Visit your doctor.

You have no place here.