Only register open is staffed by cute girl

that’s why it’s great being thin and attractive. you can buy whatever the fuck you want and they don’t care.

>buy condoms
>cute-ish black girl at the register strikes up a conversation

>reddit spacing
kys

...

Thank Lord for self checkouts.

>Dude asking for a pack of blunts and some extra-large rolling papers

This happens just about every day at the gas station up the road. Guys walk in reeking of weed and don't give a fuck. This is an illegal state, I don't understand why they risk being smelled by a police officer.

>cute-ish black girl
i don't understand what this is

there are about 3 of them

They are as shocked as anyone else when the cop smells them too.
The cops must have planted that smoldering bunt in their Honda Civic too.

>I don't understand why they risk being smelled by a police officer.
As someone who has hung out with a lot of stoners and smokers in general:
1) Smokers don't realize they reek of weed or tobacco. And alkies don't realize they reek of booze. It's because they are so used to that smell they don't even pick up on it anymore. (and taking it further, crazy cat ladies don't realize their home smells like piss)
2) As one of them explained to me, it doesn't matter if you smell like weed. That's not a crime. So long as you don't have any weed on you or in your car what are the cops going to do? Even if they search you the'd find nothing. You smelling like weed is not probable cause to follow you home and search your home.

>scan box of Meal-for-One Garlic Pizza Pockets
>*BEEP BOOP* "PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE"

>cute girl at checkout
>use self checkout instead
>something fails to scan and calls a supervisor
>supervisor is cute girl too
>leave everything at the register and run away before she can see me and my 8 extra large bags of chips

>someone tackles you as you're trying to get into your car
>she's also a qt
>"sir, you forgot your groceries"

You sir, have shit taste.

lmao this happens to me every time

You guys don't what true suffering is
>clog toilet with huge shit
>have to buy plunger
>grab first one I see so nobody sees me staring at toilet plungers
>go to self checkout so I don't have to look a cashier in the eyes
>barcode has been ripped off
>have to call for assistance
>cutest hardware store employee I've ever seen walks up
>she has to call for a price check
>everyone staring at me the whole time

>a pack of blunts
Did he actually say this? Blunts are not a thing you can sell in most states, because a blunt is some weed rolled in tobacco leaves like a cigarillo, a cigarillo being the thing you buy from a gas station to make a blunt from.

>mad

>at spacing

Poor wittle thing.

why do all the turbo qts work at hardware stores

and you the outcast sociopath who contributes fuck all to society and passive aggressively make "observations" judging everyone but yourself, the cuck who is so devoid of character he can't self insert in his own stories about trips to the fucking grocer

>be me
>shortest line open has average girl working
>go there
>she flirts with me
>leave
>two weeks later
>go back
>see same girls line is shorter
>go to cute girl next to her even tho it's longer
>she flirts with me too

Philly Blunts or Swisher Sweets are called blunts you goof

>store doesnt have a self checkout
i would kms

go for it right on the counter. wild sex ensues. line held up for 15 minutes.

get their numbers
say "hey im pretty busy this week but if you get a minute you and i should hang out" then hand her your phone to put her # in

>be me, buying a handle of vodka, a handle of whiskey, and a case of beer, nothing else
>only register open is staffed by an old lady
>she notices what I'm buying
>asks if I'm doing alright
>says she can tell when someone is drinking away their problems since her son is a recovering alcoholic
>even offers to put me in contact with AA
>tell her it's for a party and laugh it off
>it's tuesday afternoon
>she says "oh, ok" in the most unconvincing tone, without making eye contact
>finish the transaction
>it wasn't for a party

my grocery store people always see me obviously buying dinner for 1 and enough alcohol for like 3 people

There's nothing worse than some sanctimonious hypocrite manning a cash register on the eve of her cash-in giving advice after coming from a generation that not only screwed those that followed, but members of their own like her. That dried up old wench deserves an award of some sort. Maybe one of the megachurches will gift her a bag of peanuts.

>be buying or doing anything
>someone asks if you're alright

why do people do this
ive seen some pretty fucked up people but it never occurred to me to go up to them and ask "are you alright"

>Get super horny one night
>Roommates are all out of town on a ski trip
>Decide I want to fill a bathtub with oatmeal body wash and get slippery
>Go to Walmart at 1 am to buy said oatmeal body wash
>Cruise through self checkout
>Nobodycanjudgemehere.png
>Girl at podium looks at me and glances at the single, unbagged bottle of soap as I walk away
>Thankyouforshoppingatwalmart.wav
>Look her straight in the eye, "have a good night"
>Walk out, go home and get weird
Definitely wouldn't have done it if I had to interact with a cashier while checking out. Self checkouts are nice

there are good people in this world. don't let your cynicism deprive you of them.

I'm guy you replied to. I spent a few years stoned 24/7 and was always aware when I smelled like it. I showered twice a day and always wore clean clothes so no one had any idea. Still stank of cigarettes, though.

I view this as a check on possible bad behavior by me. Going to go eat something unhealthy as fuck? I get nervous the clerk will judge me, even if not a qt girl, so I don't do it

Fak, should have checked the catalog. May someone help with my singlet thread?

Why are Americans so paranoid about smoking weed? People smoke in the street and in parks here in the UK. I got caught smoking a joint in the street and was given a warning. If they find weed on you they're likely to take it of you and that's that. I got caught by nightclub security with some joints rolled up, a hipflask of vodka and a couple grams MDMA, they took the MDMA, let me keep the other shit and sent me on my way.

It's just surprising to hear people talk about being paranoid about being discovered to be stoned in public. Who gives a fuck really?

This. Most stoners are just stupid

You guys all fat as fuck or something? I never feel bad about buying food at the grocer.
Only time I feel kinda weird is if I'm buying condoms or birth control.
Luckily self checkouts have solved those problems.

Depends on what part of the US. Some states it's totally legal. Around here it's still illegal but cops don't really give a fuck.
But if you're in some shit part of the country like the deep south you're probably gonna run into some pretty shitty cops that will ruin your day.

>I get nervous the clerk will judge me
>worrying about a potential opinion a stranger might have
>worrying about things you essentially cant control

130 lbs
i enjoy buying condoms just to see if it makes the cashier act weird
although the smart way to get condoms is to go to a health clinic and say you're gay and bang African refugees

>be assigned grocery mule for mother, who has people over every other day
>took to buying myself groceries while I am there
>roll up to the checkout lanes with enough food for a week for four people plus myself
>also have two or three pints of ice cream since mother likes to sample flavours when they come out
>the cashier doesnt even care, nor does the bagger
>ask for my usual tobacco while i am at it
>stop by liquor outlet on the way out
>pick up whiskey, brandy, and rum
>woman at register doesnt care

I do not understand what you autists are so nervous about.

>hate self checkouts
>approach registers
>clerk and customer having happy banter
>go to self checkout

I buy my meat from a butcher and get my fruit and vegetables from a fruit and veg shop. When I go to a grocery store I just end up with a trolley full of really shitty looking food. I'm not sure what the people working the checkout think but I don't really give a shit.

I sometimes buy food for my whole family and give back the extra cutelry and say "I dont nedd these its just for me"
I believe its funny so whatever

>fell for the tobacco, alcohol, and food Jews
>doesn't also smoke weed
>doesn't eat while drinking, smoking weed and tobacco
>doesn't enjoy being crossed to hell and back
What are you doing with your life user?

>a fruit and veg shop
Hipster piece of shit.

Where in his post did he mention judging them? Calm your autism user, being mad about things you made up isn't healthy

Guy ahead of me in grocery line was practically as fat as he was tall and had candy bars and microwave dinners. I judged him hard, but when his one candy bar get stuck on the conveyor belt i unstuck it for him and he
>thank you kind sir
And when i asked to get passed him to ger to my groceries he said
>of course
He was so friendly i felt so bad.

Yeah, I've had similar experiences. It's hard not to judge people sometimes, we all do it, and those little moments like that serve as lessons to make us better people.

I used to be fat so I'm extra hard on overweight people. I would have thought it would have been the opposite.

That said when I see one exercising I'm so proud, so it goes both ways.

Grocery store fruit and veggies are garbage.

Much fresher from my local farmers market.

youtu.be/fwigH6QPQv0

I guess if you live in a shit tier locarion, but my local chain gets everything fresh from local farmers. Symbiotic relationship.

We had this thing called "the War on Drugs". People go to jail for years for getting caught like you described.

Must be a regional thing, I've only ever heard blunts used to describe things with weed in them. Schwisher Sweets and the like being called cigarillos.

If you think that's cute you need to get your eyes checked.

The name blunt comes from the tobacco product Phillies Blunts. People bought Phillies Blunts for the wrappers and rolled weed into them; the name "blunt" stuck.

In my state you'd have to buy that from a package store (no hard liquor sold from anywhere but a package store), which makes it extra cunty of a story in my mind. "Bitch you work in a liquor store shut the fuck up you see it all the time".

I'm guessing you live in a state like Kentucky where liquor is common stock everywhere. Extra nice is that all the places selling liquor have to have a big old liquor permit number on the front saying like "come here there's good shit!!!"

Because in America they can arrest you for a G. It's still federally illegal. If you have that drug charge or even an arrest, kiss your chances of gainful employment goodbye.

I don’t understand how that’s cute-ish

That’s just straight cute, fuck the /pol/ocks shes hot.

>you smelling like weed is not probable cause
Yes it is. They can tail you, tell you they smell weed in your apartment, and get a search warrant within an hour.

The police get paid for drug busts so they like to charge you $250 for having a gram of weed and put you in jail for a month for 1 adderall

Or just say "i need condoms" and get the condoms and leave without being such a fucking weirdo

We call em blunt wrappers so then it devolved to just 'blunts'

t. flyover

You don't need a plunger, you can use your hand. You just need to make a decent seal and wiggle your hand back and forth. Actually, the seal doesn't even need to be that good. Some toilets make it really easy because there's that little narrow bit at the drain that your hand fits perfectly into, otherwise it's a little harder but it should still be doable without a plunger. If you want to keep your hand clean you can cover it with a bag or use a glove. I normally don't bother, washing is good enough and i wash after i shit anyways.

some people genuinely want to help you if they think they can, even if they really can't. Does that make sense?

>it's a check-out girl flirts with you episode

God, I'm tired and just want to go home, not have idle chitchat that'll lead nowhere. Honestly, sometimes I think a lot of women think men are horny all the time.

Just speaking for myself, but when I go to a shop to purchase something I am 100% not looking to flirt with anyone, ever. I just want to do my business and leave.

>idle chitchat that’ll lead nowhere

It doesn’t have to be this way user. Take it somewhere.

>land of the free

Could you feel any more sorry for yourself? Fucking fag.

my white dick needs some caramel on it now.

you could've just bought some acid

>tell you they smell weed in your apartment,

How can they do that? You simply don't answer the door.

>it's good to be white
kek. never heard of this paranoid fantasy. i've been smelling like weed since early 2000's. never had any problems with the police.

That's so much fucking work for such a small bust.

True. I'm already shopping in unwashed sweatpants and flip flops. Far past giving a fuck what the cashier thinks about my purchases.

I always used to buy condoms at porn stores, I was the most normal person there. This is a pro tip boys.

if men are going to the hardware store they’re usually upper middle class and easy to marry

The toilet brush works well too, stick it in the hole and pull it in and out like a plunger.

Shw's half white.

If you were projecting any harder that shit would be blinding.

I'm totally oblivious tp flirting.
>girl from school group texts me randomly Friday night
>says her friend really wants to party and asks if there are any parties around
>say no but she should check out the local bar strip Halloween weekend
>only just realized that maybe she wanted to get together
Fuck.

>local supermarket
>extremely nice and chatty dude behind the counter
>he literally high fives and shake hands with every single customer while joking around
>my turn
>miss his hand while trying to high five
>he laughs it off
>no problem
>all I have bought is candy, nachos and cheese
>he says "looks like you're up for a wild evening" and laughs
>"y-yeah, totally"
>practically run out of the store
>person yells at me that I forgot my cheese
>keep on running

had a good laff with your greentext nice/10

weed is so fucking strong dude you can smell it from half a mile away in a lock&lock container in a freezer

bruh chicks love ice cream what's the problem?

First off, no it's not that strong. I have lived with stoners when I was in college.

Second, if you're concerned about the smell you're fucking idiot to store it in a plastic container. Glass or metal. A mason jar works perfectly and they are dirt cheap. Or re-use a glass jar with a metal lid from jam or something.

Third, smelling something "through a closed door" is not probable cause under the law.

And fourth, if it was any half-decent lawyer would decimate the cops at trial by asking how they knew the location of a smell outdoors, from behind a closed door. That smell could have come from anywhere, rendering it an illegal search.

But this is all just silly banter anyway. No cop is going to follow home a suspected stoner and go through all that effort for such a minor offense. Unless the cops have reason to suspect that person is some kind of major grower or high level dealer nobody is going to bother.

They sell blunt in gas stations now?

>minority problems

They have for decades. "Blunts" are small cigars. It is very common for people to slice them open, dump out the tobacco and replace it with weed. In fact, I'm pretty sure that that is the only thing they get used for these days. If you see someone walk into a gas station and buy them you can be certain that person is going to refill them with weed.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blunt_(cigar)

>the whole population of Veeky Forums defined in a single post
this includes (You) as the bittter autist btw

>tfw smoking a quick one before heading out barechested so your clothes don't reek out when you're on the streets
I felt like James Bond whopping your sister