Food Porn Thread

Runny eggs on burgers are great, but you have to break the yolk and spread it around or on the bun before you start eating it. You can't just leave it whole.

This burger/sandwich in the OP looks bad though. Too messy and tall, it's going to be annoying and uncomfortable to eat.

>implying that is a decent burger in the op

FUCK THAT

>Nothing is as unappetizing or unattractive as long nails. Absolutely fucking horrid.

Fucking racist.

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My bad dude I'm phoneposting and my shit won't play webms. I was speaking generally, but had faith the webm one was okay before getting slathered by yolk.

>having faith in Reddit and Facebook cooking videos
It is 99% bacon, 61% sriracha, 20% cuckhold, 15% grease and 5% salt all adding up to a 200% disappointment.

it's a png not a webm my friend

Runny eggs are a bigger meme than Sriracha and bacon combined.

wtf is that from?

It comes to something when that, of all things, isn't the worst post in the thread.

youtube.com/watch?v=J47pL_BW8TQ end of video

look at that delicious cake just oozing life...

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You've seen Ja/ck/, but have you seen his wife?

When i see this i just see perfection!

S O U R C E

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love rare chicken

>cranberry sauce filled chicken breast

Ja/ck/ is a visionary.

chef Scalfani doesn't just offer rare chicken, he caters to red meat lovers too!

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>nice and pink, the way I like it
I bet he tells that to tammy

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I only eat my chicken medium rare

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Its even better in slow motion

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I've never seen this but it is fucking hilarious. Good shit to whoever made that hahaha

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Stop posting jack you fucking homos

OVA HERE

That menu really escalates towards the end

JUST

THIS IS NOW WEBM THREAD.
>inb4 pizza vending machine
>inb4 automation frozen pizza
>inb4 cadaver slicer
>inb4 pancake making on coke
>inb4 omurice egg slicing
>inb4 chinaman pancakes
>inb4 corn hair roller
>inb4 cream funnel on cakes
>inb4 churros ice cup
>inb4 chocolate globe petals
>inb4 melting chocolate globe
>inb4 avocado burger
>inb4 bees on cake vendor
>inb4 turkish ice cream trickery
>inb4 avocado burger
>inb4 green avo macaroni
>inb4 fried shrimp cannon
>inb4 dancing squid trick
>inb4 kay's motor oil egg
>inb4 cheeseburger cocktail
>inb4 carved ice whiskey ball
>inb4 dumpling mouth vacuum
>inb4 pastry baking in oven
>inb4 fake avocado egg
>inb4 pizza with plastic forks&knife fag
>inb4 ugly glazed cake

>that hand gesture

OH MY GOD KATHYY

Here's the thing though. Kathy's not a good cook, and she says she's not a good cook in her videos. She's just having a good time making things how she makes them.

She makes fuck ups constantly. She makes more shit than Jack. But she doesn't have the pretentious attitude that he does, so it's really just good laughs with bad food. But, with good people.

Kathy is comfy af

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>darksideofthemoon.jpg

too slow nigga

its beyond me how jack scalfani hasn't died yet from salmonella or food poisoning.

I think he gains powers from it.

WHY DOES HE USE THAT STUPID PAPER SHIT FOR THE BURGERS.

Really puts the cheese in cheeseburger.

Linke me

He's testing a copper grill mat and, brilliantly, neglects to heat it up with the grill, instead slapping it on cold and wondering why he can't get grill marks.

He also pours the egg on a slanted surface so there you go.

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Very keto

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noice

>cutting down the center

is jack being this terrible on purpose??? im starting to wonder because at one point you have to ask yourself if all the constant mockery is worth it.

He's rich and mistakes attention for praise

Most of the shows are unremarkable mostly, maybe a few snickers at Jack's idiocy, but I believe he has a large community of divorced men watching and interacting with his videos without irony.

That's disgusting.

not jack

you mean 'on'

that looks like a fucking pain in the ass to eat

what the fuck

I agree with you but I have to admit it's kind of fun biting into a sandwich and having the egg yolk suddenly break and squirt a few feet

Look at the ring, it's him, Jack, the DSP of cooking.

How to remove the pit from the avocado? Smash a knife in it? Too dangerous for me.

Would I eat it? Heck yeah. There is never enough cheese on a burger.

>this soy-yeast extract gelatin really tastes like the real deal!

youtube.com/watch?v=zdE8yh0d1_0

chef john

>d00d healthy fats lmao

Thats fucking amazing

Looks delicious but I'm autistic and I hate getting my hands messy

Why do americans think ‘entree’ means main course?

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What's with that shitty knife? It looks so fucking flimsy I thought it'd break

because we have orders of magnitude more money and influence than whatever irrelevant third world shithole you live in, and we'll do whatever the fuck we want with language, and you'll fucking deal with it.

TAKE THIS TRASH TO THE BIN AND BRING ME A REAL PLATE

that looks good

It's as if he WANTS a case of 'avacado hand'.

HOW IS HIS BITE A PERFECT 90 DEGREE ANGLE

*BLEEEGGG*
*HHHUUUUAAAARRH*
*dry heaves*
*AAAAAAOOOHHHHHH*
>"Ok, I think I'm done vomiting, alrig-"
*BBBLLLLLAAAAGUGUGUUGUGUGG*
>dribbles mucus and snot*
>"please, my stomach hurts, I can't retch like that again"
>looks at the disgusting food stinking in front of him
*BBBUUUUGGGGGGGUUUAAAAHHHHH*
>tfw the torrent of vomit in front of him still looks more appealing that the horrendous mess meant to be this ''''''''food''''''''.

not trying to be mean but...
"we"
the average us citizen isn't really rich. there's many places in the world which are much better to live in every single point.

*BLEEEGGG*
*HHHUUUUAAAARRH*
*dry heaves*
*AAAAAAOOOHHHHHH*
>"Ok, I think I'm done vomiting, alrig-"
*BBBLLLLLAAAAGUGUGUUGUGUGG*
>dribbles mucus and snot*
>"please, my stomach hurts, I can't retch like that again"
>looks at the disgusting food stinking in front of him
*BBBUUUUGGGGGGGUUUAAAAHHHHH*
>tfw the torrent of vomit in front of him still looks more appealing that the horrendous mess meant to be this ''''''''food''''''''.

>I think he gains powers from it.
This is literally true. Pajeets that bathe in the ganges next to a rotting corpse have the same super power

why cant average Americans cook?

>Plebs can't remove their avocado pits without getting lacerations.
Get on my level.

>Webm's preferred
>Posts a fucking png.
Could've even manage a gif?

>YOOOOHOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HO...HOODEEDOODEEDOOOO
>The alarm wakes me up. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes
>The sweet purr of Tammy's C-PAP machine is comforting, it beckons me back to sleep
>No, I must wake up, today is the day
>I better check on Jack Jr...
>Jack's not in his room...it suddenly hits me that he spent the night at one of his football friends' house
>I've been worrying lately, he's been hanging out with colored folk, they might try to peer pressure him into trying the devil's lettuce
>I'm worrying about nothing, I've raised Jack to be a good man. Never to hit a woman!
>Shower and shave, using my trusty kit from Harry's Razors
>I decide to wear a shirt quoting 1 Corinthians 13:4-0, Jesus will respect my dedication
>Mosey through my hall of hats, decide on a classic little number featuring the character Dedpole, he's a popular guy among the kids
>I must prepare for the chili cook off, this is my calling. I gave up DJ'ing for this.

welcome to ja/ck/ friend

post the panda candy webbum