Listen faggots, Im a culinary school graduate, I can bake bread thats so tasty it would blow your fucking cocks off

I'm sure you would really enjoy it.
What's your favorite kind of bread?

>$30k a year
I wish.

O Great Professional Bread-Wizard, Is it possible to make a loaf of bread that is actually cake in the middle? Like a loaf-shaped cake with an outer bread crust? Please respond.

why is professional cock such a shit job? You make less than the people dropping your plates on to an assholes table. You have to live in a 1 room apartment typically with two co-workers as roomates just so you can survive day to day. You can't get a girl because all of your income is living expenses and paying back the 30K loan to learn how to turn on an oven and stove.

Even world famous chefs are only cooks on the side to their real jobs.

>Like a loaf-shaped cake with an outer bread crust?
Yes it's called pound cake.

Pound cake is not sheathed in a cloak of crusty bread.

You can’t stop the culinary school hate. Bitter cooks are capable of holding everlasting grudges and non-stop bitching.

I made bread last week for the first time in a crappy oven. Came out perfect.
I worked with the instructions of a mom with a foodblog.
So yes, I can make my own fucking bread.

Irish Soda bread nyukka

Good job. It's easy once you learn

>Bitter cooks are capable of holding everlasting grudges and non-stop bitching.
True. Cooks are bitter mongoloids

And who the fuck this john bitch and why should I give any flying fucks about him?
THIS. Fucking hell, made me embarassed to go dinner with him, his mouth like an endless train of hate towards any food that he does not cook

so why don't you post information about how you make your bread, common pitfalls you were taught to avoid, interesting ideas or techniques, etc.

For me it's Bimbo, the best white bread

so what's your bakers percentage and process

you seem mad, OP. maybe chill out and go knead or stretch and fold some dough.

link to recipe?

Post one good bread recipe to prove yourself

This looks tasty, is there a version without bread?

Bread is pleb food. Filler garbage for the poor and diabetic. Calm your tits.

You had to go to school to learn how to bake bread?

>I've worked under James Beard
Literally who?? Also that sounds gay

He was gay, but that has nothing to do with was a genius chef he was.
Leave your hate and bigotry at the door next time, kid.

Are all great chefs gay? Not being a bigot, but maybe its like how many great actors just happen to be gay

I went to school to learn great bread skills.
What have you done with your life? Besides Reddit posting?

>poor
Listen kid, I've spent more of n a loaf of bread in Quebec then you spend on groceries for a month.
I don't play around when it comes to bread.
I've staged under Andrew Zimmern, Joe Beef, and several James Beard award establishments in Portland.
So yeah, I think I know a thing or two about bread.
And no, I am not gay.

post bread proof or gtfo

>He needs to get to school to bake bread
Pleb
And you've staged under who? Why should I care about those crackheads and gays?

I'm not here to prove anything to you redditfags, I'm just here to fill you in on the deets

Ok now I'm mad.
You can disrespect me, and I'll laugh it off.
But then you disrespect my mentors, some of the greatest chefs the world has ever seen.
Get off Veeky Forums because apparently you know nothing of food.

you literally cannot even bake bread, you are an autist with a baking fetish ahhahahaha

This post was actually meant your you, kid
>Ok now I'm mad.
>You can disrespect me, and I'll laugh it off.
>But then you disrespect my mentors, some of the greatest chefs the world has ever seen.
>Get off Veeky Forums because apparently you know nothing of food.

give up, guys, this dude's trolling lots of threads right now.

No, I take this board and cooking very seriously

You don't know shit, kid. Arnt you up way past your bed time?

I trained under 12 of the greatest chefs of all time, I have absorbed their greatness within myself< i have more culinary knowledge than most Nobel prize winning chefs. I dare OP to post his best bread recipe.

Oh yeah right, that's some cold bologna you're serving kid

There's a difference between trolling and just being a retard though

Anyone non retarded can do that with good equipment, ingredients and strictly following baking recipe.
Its barely even a cuisine, more like engineering.

>strictly following baking recipe.
No, takes alot more than that.
You have to master baking in humid conditions, elevation, stressful environments.
It's a long road, and no you can't ride on it.

Ok which one of you asshats keep posting my bread paragraph in other threads, not fucking funny.

thats true, what if you are climbing Mt Everest and you suddenly need to bake some sourdough bread? Without the proper training you would be screwed.

Try to take one fucking thing seriously in your life, kid, and maybe you'll get some success.
Not everything is a joke

I won the Grand Prize in the Baking World Cup, what have you achieved?

No you didn't, don't lie like a dog.

Duck off

If you're not Scooter and Gordon Ramsay didn't pay for your four years at school I don't give a flying fuck.

If you are, you better get to work baking that man a loaf instead of bragging about it here.

Rye bread

>30k

fuck i want to cook at that place

Rye is great.
I love a good Jewish rye whenever I'm in Jew york.
For me Katz's has the best

I learned from Micheal London at zingermans in Ann Arbor
Worked a James beard event in New York
Worked Michelin party at the wynn
You are still a fag

Now you are someone worth a bread lovers respect

Same. Mr. Fancy pants and his 30k cooking job thinks he's better than me

Again with this thread? Dont you think there was a reason it 404'd before?
*slow clap*

Jewish rye? Go fuck yourself, best rye is pure slav rye

>slav
>Jew
Both deserve to be gassed anyhow

>hating slavs
Oh you confused child

Based breadposter.

I like making cold cut sandwiches on store bought white bread

>store bought
Looks like someone hasn't been to culinary school.

Yeah once you go to culinary school and learn to bake bread, your cold cut sandwiches will be on a whole other level.

>cold cut sandwiches will be on a whole other level
Exactly.
After byiy master bread, your passion for food will grow.
Then you will introduce exotic cold cuts to your sandwiches like Mortadell, and proshutto

>byiy
*You

Is your only achievement in culinary school making bread? It's the only thing you seem to brag about.

No, kid.
I learn the art and passion of cooking

>eating bread

Autism

Yeah, it was an irish specialty. I think they called it famine.

Why are you not out there sharing the fruits of your art and the burning intensity of your passion with people who appreciate it, instead of getting into internet arguments?

>I WALKED GORDON RAMSAY ON STAGE!
>A CHEF RESPECTS THE KITCHEN, IT SERVES AS THE FOUNDATION OF CREATIVITY!

even a retard can make bread

in fact, a protohuman at the same level of a modern mongoloid is who invented unleavened bread

and then some smelly caveman discovered that if you knead bread with your dirty fungus infected feet, the bread raises

how do bige retarte learne to cook withoug culinary school??

Help I like cooking but im an autistic undergrad I just make chicken and rice with peanut butter and veggies every day and randomly throw in black pepper and cayenne and garlic powder

I've learned how to make a nice carbonara though

I can't buy anything fancy I live in a small neighbourhood please responde vouz

>how do bige retarte learne to cook withoug culinary school??
cookbooks
or
youtube

>>I can't buy anything fancy I live in a small neighbourhood
Sure you can. Mail-order.

isn't mail order more expensive? I feel like I'd have to order everything I'd wanna eat several days in advance too, like fill my freezer up with stuff

I look up Chef John's recipe's usually user that's what I do to learn

What's a nice step forward if I can make Carbonara? Mac and Cheese? My girlfriend likes Very spicy and garlicky things, she's a fan of spice and savoury comforting foods. She likes Korean foods a lot. She likes borger...

>isn't mail order more expensive?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on what you are buying. I mainly use it to buy things I can't get locally, but often times it still works out cheaper than the supermarket. For example, my local supermarkets only stock crappy black pepper, so I mail-order Tellicherry peppercorns from Spice House. Even with the shipping factored in it still costs less, pound for pound, than the cheap brand at the supermarket. Likewise for ham. Nobody near me sells decent hams so I mail-order Benton's. Even with shipping included it's roughly half the price of the standard deli brand in my area (Boar's head). and the quality difference is staggering. But my real point was that you shouldn't get discouraged if you can't get what you want locally. If there's a dish you want to make and the local shops don't have the ingredients then mail order them.

Mac and cheese is very simple to make; if you can make carbonara you can certainly make that.

>>spicy and garlicky things
Stir-fry sounds like a good option.

>>spice and savory comforting foods
Gumbo. Jambalaya. Indian, Thai, and Jap curries. Stews.

Keep in mind that nearly any food can be made spicy simply by adding some hot pepper.

Thank u user I think I'm going to try to make a chicken korma

Hater get the fuck out of my thread. I've got no time for you

but you have plenty of time to be answering anons one by one
good job

Goo luck, kid. You're gonna need it.
Chicken karma is one of the hardest recipes to master, go stage at an Indian restaurant for a day, and if luck's on your side the chef will teach you.
Or go to culinary school, you will learn a rolladex full of recipes to treasured in your skull.

I never knew that irish stew guy went to a culinary school and makes bread now and starting to shitpost on here

>any spicy
>not knowing the differences between different types of spiciness
>pepper
>so much knowledge

We've been over this before. "Spicy" in the general parlance usually refers to heat which comes from capsacin in hot peppers.

Nobody eats a spice cake or a herb salad and says "wow, that's spicy".

Teach me a few kitchen basic essentials in terms of knowledge and terminology user.

Any specific items in the kitchen I NEED NEED NEED? Our knives are kinda blunt and shit for one, desu

1) A good, thick bottomed frying pan and saucepan. It's worth spending money here, as quality items will last you a lifetime if you look after them.
2) People, including famous chefs, will say that you need a high-quality knife. Whilst this is true if you're going pro, for basic home cooking the crap $5 ones will do. Food is usually a little bit softer than metal, you don't need grorious nippon folded steel.
3) This knife sharpener: hartsofstur.com/acatalog/Sabatier-Professional-Two-Stage-Knife-Sharpener-SABPRSH01.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIzealgO6M1wIVV80bCh1jzQEIEAQYAiABEgI59PD_BwE It's $20, and it'll get any cheap knife back into good condition within 20 seconds. I've been using one for 4 years now in a working environment, and it gets them sharp enough for anything that isn't sushi.
4) A chopping board. I personally have found chopping mats to be more trouble than they're worth, despite the ease of storage, so I'd recommend a solid plastic board. A cheap one is fine, and don't forget to put a dry dishcloth underneath it to stop it slipping.
5) Cheap potato peeler, cheap cheesegrater (the rectangular ones with different graters on each side)
6) A watch, phone, clock, or some other way to tell the time. Sundial at a pinch, but they don't work well indoors.

That's about it for the basics. A knife can do the work of a lot of kitchen gadgets, it just takes longer or gives a slightly rougher result. Worth mentioning that whenever you see a chef in a recipe video use a gadget, before you think you need one ask yourself: what is this device actually doing, and can I do the same or something similar with my knife? In a lot of cases, the answer will be yes. Keep watching videos, and never be afraid of trying something new. Mistakes will teach you just as much as successes. Good luck!

Thanks do who the fuck Irish stew is.

I can cook better bread in my bread machine... Want to know my secret??? Ok. I use a packet of powder cheese. The kind you use in Mac and cheese.

I'm looking for an honest answer, no booly.

What does Culinary School teach you that you can't learn working in a decent restaurant?

>What does Culinary School teach you that you can't learn working in a decent restaurant?
How to Bake world class bread.
Next question