Here you are...

>Here you are, sir! One venti upside down decaf triple six-pump pumpkin spice macchiato with light whipped cream and a Sweet and Low. Have a great day!

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KEEP THAT DISGUSTING SHIT AWAY FROM ME!!!

>decaf
>sweet and low

disgusting. What does upside-down mean?

…..............u FoRgoT tHE soY!!!!!!!!
BiGOTTTTT gET thIS ISLAMAPHOBD HOMOPHOBIC RACIST FIR3D!!!! !!!!! NOw!!!!

Sorry miss. I ordered the sumatran dark roast. Black.

*sound of panties getting soaked*

Shots on top, no idea the science bebind why but it does taste different.
>t. Oldstarfag

>decaf pumpkin spice coffee with whipped cream and sugar
'Buh... coffee no look like motor oil! ANGERY!'
You people are fucking idiots

For r me it's Pumping pie spice

So you have regular potted coffee?

>pot
This isn't one of those Dutch coffee shops weedhead!

people look at me funny when i order black coffee

i wish i was high on potenuse

It won't make me fat because it's just a coffee tee hee

You're going to the wrong places if that happens.

I remember once being in a fairly long line at Starbucks of people all ordering complicated drinks. When I got up to the front and just ordered a medium coffee the immediate relief was very funny

there was one time i placed my order and the girl had a confused look on her face when she asked "that's it?"

Most of their teas are garbage but the iced London Fog is pretty good.

over your head. sorry for that

*pulls out $50 bill*

Also their only black coffee that doesn't taste burnt is the nitro cold brew for some reason.

I once got a pumpkin spice latte because of the meme. It was fucking disgusting and I actually like pumpkin pie spice flavor. Couldn't even finish half the drink even though it was 20F and snowing as I was walking to class. Don't understand why middle aged women go crazy about it being "back".

Surely if it is a machiatto thats upside down the shots are on the bottom. Tldr elaborate way to say latte.
Ex starbucks employee.

If you think this is bad imagine if they made a Szechuan sauce latte.

so should we make a white house petition for an automatic death sentence or anyone like this?

Il have a black coffee, large.

I've seen like two actual posts by girls liking this stuff and memeing about it, and hundreds about how people won't shut up about it.

It probably tastes shit but the meme of it is literally the fucking pancakes comic.

That’s because they over-roast the beans. They taste burnt because they are burnt.

A lot of chain coffee places over-roast so they can use less coffee and still have a ‘full strength’ flavor. However, the true cognoscenti can pick over roasted right away.

I’ve had Starbucks out of desperation maybe four times in my life (including a couple of bags of beans given to me as a gift). It was universally foul.

>, the true cognoscenti can pick over roasted right away.

teach me your ways

Ah yeah i didnt see that part. So basic latte then. What a good OP is

there needs to be a pumpkin spice reckoning

Almost all coffee places over roast their beans nowadays, it seems. What are some good coffee chains in the US?

>Have fecal fetish, a 50 gb folder of vids and pics
>To beta to tell any girls
>Finally start dating my soulmate, a petite nerdy black girl
>After a year dating and her asking what my kink was I keep hinting at, tell her it's poop
>3 weeks of cold relations before she finally starts talking to me again
>We go camping one weekend
>One morning she wakes me up and tells me to "come out and see what I did"
>Go hiking a short walk with her, then see these MASSIVE turds on the ground
>Perfect, solid ronded oval-cans at least in half kilo seps with beautiful striation and marbling
>I am too stunned to breathe
>She asks me to drop my load
>I squat down, pull down my diaper and push as hard as I can
>Only some medi-marbles come out, pathetic 2/10 quality rabbit poo
>I'm almost in tears from embarassment here, there are other hikers watching
>She says she isn't done yet, she squats down again over her turds and sprays out a second serving
>Beautiful half-bowl medium-cream blast with foam on top, perfect wetness, perfect drape pattern, cornering and rounded drop splatter
>I am so emasculated I break down crying and run as far as I can go, then spend the night walking all the way back to my house and never speak to her again

I don't understand your last sentence.

Drink mild roast with skim milk and minimal sugar for a couple of weeks, cold brew if you can. Then when you drink over-roasted you’ll spot the burnt notes right away.

Fucked if I know, I’m not American. I’d recommend going to independent coffee shops who know the origin and processing history of their beans and have multiple varieties available.

not him, but 1. stop smoking and brush your teeth as regularly as you tell your dentist you do, you'll pick up way more flavours.
2. take your time. cold-ish coffee has more to it than hot coffee, that's why shitty coffee tastes of arse when cold, but good coffee does not.
3. do buy a few mild roasts, one of the usual, make your gf (or mum, or whatever) brew a couple of pots for you to blind-taste, you'll see the difference immediately. (even if you might like the taste you're used to more, then I've good news: you won't need to spend much on your next cup of coffee)

oh, and as always: avoid fatty foods. (and hot af. chili, you can get used to that stuff, but you also can and probs will get stormach problems when you're older, not to mention what it does to your tastebuds)

How much do you eat if a single drink is effecting your weight that badly

i like this one!

I don't eat many meals tb h I just snack occasionally hehe

It's not uncommon for a Starbucks to top 1000 Calories

siiiiiiiip...aaaaaaaah.

NOW you may speak.

i would murder you in your sleep

you as toasty as my morning roast-y

dayum gurl u should suck muh dick tho

>1000 Calories
You could pig out at McD's and still get out consuming under 1,000 calories

How sad it must be to be so greatly affected by the beverage preferences of total strangers.

...

hmm yea I do smoke. I probably could notice if I didn't. what does the over roasted note taste similar too? I thought they used a new method to make coffee where they will mix batches of roast to create a blend.

All their coffee tastes the same.

>get a venti cup
>order for it to be halfway filled with ice with two espresso shots
>pay for it
>go to condiments bar
>fill the rest of the cup with half and half for free

ghetto latte

>ice
>cream
Neither of these has anything to do with a late.

>half and half
>cream
Uhhhhh

the key is to get everything half sweet

It's all the same coffee with lots of sugar just in different forms. The only reason they are in business is because they are selling a lifestyle using gimmick personal orders with overly long silly names so that the other patrons get to judge you and you them.

Holy shit how.

extra cream and syrup. Without extras, drinks on the menu top out around 600 Calories

It tastes like burned sugar and fucked coffee.

Really, get a couple of the mildest roast coffee beans you can and chew on them.

Then get a couple of Starbucks dark roast coffee beans and chew on them.

I've been a smoker for 20+ years and I have no problems spotting over roasted beans.

>What do you want in your coffee?
>GOD BLESS AMERICA PREPARE TO DIE
>Shoot coffee beverage engineering artisan and drink straight from the coffee tank
Right?

I think that's Jack / "Janicze," AKA this dude
youtube.com/watch?v=96SrWO5Na54

thanks, my caffeine sensitive grandma is having a low sugar attack

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change".*

"I'm sorry, I just asked for some carbonated water"

I fucking hate when ugly people take pictures of themselves trying to be cute or quirky.

I don’t snap a pic of my toilet after I take a massive shit because i’m not proud of it.

>tfw favorite part of a trip to Starbucks is when the barista in her tighter than skintight black jeans turns around to the back counter to prepare your beverage and you standing there staring at her ass is perfectly acceptable because you are "waiting"

That's $2 of the cost for the latte

Coffee is for fags I prefer beer, neat, with a lemon twist.

>that'll be $12.15 plus the tip
What do?

I remembered it tasting a lot better than it was. I got one yesterday for $6 and it just tasted like pure nutmeg.

>just an ice water please

Your (((barista))) probably broke the lid on the nutmeg topping and flooded your drink.

Pumping spice enthusiasts, everyone.

It's still not acceptable.

Fag.

You caught me.

NO
I SAID I'M HERE TO FIX THE REFRIGERATOR
WHERE IS THE MANAGER

>lol I'm wearing skin tight pants to show off my ass
>wtf stop looking
Not defending permavirgins doing this but being an attention whore isn't helping

This must be pasta... I just haven't seen it before...

Coffee tastes like shit.

Wearing clothes you're comfortable in isn't an invitation to be ogled by a bunch of nerds.

t. roastie

I fucking WISH they gave you the option of S&L instead of diabetes. You have to ask for it without flavor and mix it in yourself like a tool.

UGGGHGHHH WHY ARE MEN LOOKING AT ME I DON'T WANT ATTENTION *wears shirt with 80% of tits exposed*

Dark roast is trash.
Some people really like trash, though.
I can support that.

>ok I will drink this three hours from now when it stops being as hot as the surface of the sun

t. a small child

No, user. It IS the reckoning. Pumpkin spice is the Last Flavor.

fuggg

Coffee is like wine. There are three main growing regions. LatinAm, Africa, and Asia. The best beginner high quality coffee are single origin Arabica light roast east africans, usually Ethiopia or Kenya. Dont add milk or sugar, you want to learn to distinguish the taste. You will notice the acidity and sweetness right away.
The lighter the roast, the less burn taste and the more taste of the actual bean stays. Dark roast beans are like the well done steaks of coffee, dumb plebs with no taste or curiosity who want to be manly or it. Go to independent cafes and they will usually carry Intelligentsia, La Colombe, Stumptown, or Counter Culture, which are the big four specialty coffee roasters

t. Just read Wikipedia

Basically yeah, but I'm a barista too. Though most of my coworkers don't really know or care about le cobee :D :DD :DDD

I SAID NUTRASWEET YOU FUCKING WHORE

You seem to be having some kind of seizure user, I'm calling 911!

>you want to learn to distinguish the taste.

actually i don't give a fuck about coffee and neither should anyone else.

Cream is basically fat and sugar

Listen here, you bumbling moron. Women's pants are not comfortable, this is especially true the tighter they get. They can't fit fucking pockets in the pants, that's how fucking tight they get. If she wanted to be comfortable her ass wouldn't be visible in those pants because she'd be wearing a pair of men's bootcut levis. The best blue denim jeans.

yeah, I'd give her "the tip" if you catch my drift

I'm a man and I'm horribly uncomfortable in those bootcut jeans because they look fucking stupid and it bothers me all day. I'm more comfortable in tighter pants because I like the way I look, and I imagine others feel similarly. We can't all go outside in ill fitting pants and the autism Sketchers mom bought and feel comfortable.

goof got autocorrected to good, i expect.

>One venti upside down decaf triple six-pump pumpkin spice macchiato with light whipped cream and a Sweet and Low
That's a big order