Warning signs you are at a shit tier restaurant

lol this so hard.

its like every shit tier restaurant attached to some buttfuck hotel

>the staff aren't in tuxedos

>The oldest wine is from 2011

>Cnn is on one of the TVs

"almost famous" anything

They try to incorporate local sports teams into the decor and it comes off like an alien trying to blend in on earth
>welcome, humans, we are YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD™ Applebees™, see how we acknowledge that you local high school has a Lacrosse team!

>Applebee's.

Let me stop you right there

>they have TVs
>they're playing music that is anything other than Cucina Amore
>the hostess is anything under an 8/10 qt

>2017
>drinking alcohol
WOWWWWWWWWWW

>they're playing music that is anything other than Cucina Amore

What about Michael Buble doing rat pack impressions?

I always consider it a red flag whenever restaurants simply refer to their chicken as "white chicken" rather than chicken breast. It makes me think that I'm about to eat a patty of chicken giblets fused together rather than quality meat.

They sell wood fired pizza.

>prawns are cooked in shell and are greasy

once I fell for the "manager's special: fish tacos" meme. I'm sure they were just getting rid of nearly spoiled fish. The waitress seemed extra glib when she asked "so how were the fish tacos?"

NO

>the menus are laminated

>Cnn is on one of the TVs

my local burger king keeps Fox News on their dining room TV all day long. Maximum comfy

>a la carte
>has a kids activity room
>the door has a bell/chime or god forbid, pic related into the kitchen

>no michael Buble or Rat Pack

I guess that rules out the Olive Garden then :(

Server's name is Tiffany

Thats why they do it.
Fish of the day is their way of promoting near rotting fish.

maybe she was just upset that you werent eating her fish taco

>my local burger king keeps Fox News on their dining room TV all day long. Maximum comfy

Really really old people seem to love Burger King, or at least prefer it over McDonalds.

I can only assume it's due to nostalgia for the way things used to be

What is the soup of the day?

Is that their leftover vegetables from the previous day?

Nothing escapes your wisdom.

burger king at least attempts to make the food edible

People still eat at Applebee's?

still better than the average fast food meal

>burger king at least attempts to make the food edible

Where do you live?
My local burger kings are absolute shit holes that employ over 75% negroes.

Not sure why Burger King and Dunkin Donuts have a disproportionately high black employee rate

I should qualify, compared to mcdonalds

Hardee's is the official breakfast fast food of the elderly

If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

>the prices on the menu have decimals in them

Are you in Long island? Sounds too relatable over there

>If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
I can afford it if I want to, but it still makes sense to see if you're getting overcharged for an item.

I can afford to spend $5 on a can of green beans, but it would be fucking retarded to do so.

what a shit elitist fucking mentality. Maybe the steel factory can work that way too.
"How much for my shipment?"
"it'll be a surprise"

I want that hat
can I get it online, or at any Hardee's?

>the menu doesn’t have daily changes and there aren’t new physical menus everyday

This shit is so creepy and insincere, it puts me off eating there altogether.
It doesn't even have to be sports teams, simply having a gigantic multinational chain put "WELCOME TO YOUR [street corner name] [chain]".
Places like jimmy johns that pretend to look like a tiny local sandwich shop with all the fake quirky signs and shit on the wall and the fake brick interior and using some character named "mama" as a hook to convince people the food quality is actually good.
Fuck them.

It really only works in retail and dining situations.
You're asking about the price because you're not sure you'll be able to stomach the price, it means you're dining at a place that's above your social class, everyone can tell. Go home.

pretty sure you need to be in 1994 to get that hat

>salad bar

this

ZINGER BRO!!!!!!! ZING ZING XZING CHICKEN WING BRO

>all the dishes have quirky names

>Szechuan Sauce

>beer menu is divided into "domestic" and "import"
>there are imported beers on the domestic list and domestic beers on the imported list
>they appear to think "domestic" and "import" are words for price points
really ruffles my jerries

>If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
I hate this stupid saying so fucking much. I'm not going to callously spend my money and I would like to know how much something I am going to purchase will cost before it's too late. If someone says this you automatically know they're in debt or retarded with money.

>all the dishes have quirky names

This irritates me.

They take a basic dish, give it a stupid name, and all of a sudden it's

>One of our SIGNATURE™ Creations!

Motherfucker you didn't invent putting bacon on a hamburger simmer the fuck down

Single mothers go there looking for Alabama black snake or some guy with slicked back hair and a leather jacket flipping a nickle.

If they have a drive thru.

Lmao you sound like the biggest cock gobbling faggot right now.

Take it from a guy who works in a retail store. You are playing RIGHT into their hands they don't include the prices because they know dumb shits like you will pay for over priced alcohol because it makes you feel like some high class aristocrat. Not showing you the price allows you the establish a more personal connection to a product to make you more inclined to buy it, it's basically tricking your dumb ass.

There's a local sandwich shop here, and you can tell everyone feels like an asshole saying their retarded fucking sandwich names out loud. Good sandwiches though.

Well it works.

Yep. New McDs are more like corporate canteens for those who cant afford a canteen. A slick slate decor, coffee over soft drinks and an ever expanding menu of cafe items made by glorified interns

Buy our overpriced ab owned foreign beer

ghost?

its why so many of the minute celebrities end up buying a house in hollywood, end up going broke and living off residuals for 50 years and then die nameless and penniless

lmao poorfags

>people wear hats indoors

>If I spent a lot of money on dumb shit, people will think I'm cool!

No fucking joke. Where I live, BK seems to exclusively employ niggers. That's why I never eat there.

>menu has more than 18 items on it
>parts of the menu are written in a foreign language, the rest in english
>angus beef
>they advertise everywhere, but you can't find the restaurant
>faded neon lights
>texas pete on the table
>the best import beer is stella artois
>the kitchen bus staff don't wear gloves
>highchairs
>the menu has pictures of the food on it
>instead of the menu having pictures of the food made in-house, it's full of stock photos
>you have to use a card with a stand on it declaring your table number

>parts of the menu are written in a foreign language, the rest in english
I would like an amendment to this, excepting dim sum restaurants

kys flyovers.

>angus beef
triggered

>flyovers
>high percent black population
What?

>waitress says "my name is ____ and I'll be taking care of you this evening"

My local Wendy's hires almost exclusively black people which is weird since I'm in a very very white area.

You forgot
>Dishes have the number associated to the dish
>When you tell the waiter the name of the dish they ask you: what number does it have?

The sign out front says "Dennies"

You can fuck right off.

How is that bad?

It suggests that people eating there can't even into not soiling the menu, which suggest that mainly trash eats there

DELET

You shut your whore mouth

that is when you flop out your dick, a $100 note and say "take care of this for me will you darl"

>reddit humour

I dont even go on reddit, I was just trying to get an autist arrested
no bully

To me it suggests they care about my comfort. It's much better to hold.

What about plastic is better to hold than paper? Are you just making up stuff to not feel bd about your favorite place?
It also suggests that they always have the same menu, disregarding seasons, which implies that most of their food is frozen and comes out of packages. Eww

>Dennies

Is there really a restaurant trying to hoodwink customers by naming itself the plural, non-possessive form of Denny's?

Burger King is the only hamburger place where I ever took a bite of a hamburger, spit it out, and dumped it all in the trash. The only thing edible was the drink.

And that was the only restaurant in town that had power. I don't know how they did it, but everywhere else the power was out.

I preferred to be hungry over eating the shit that Burger King serves.

>angus beef

I always laugh at this. Angus beef isn't any better than the beef of other mainstream cattle breeds. It's just advertising.

Red gingham tablecloths.

Bonus points for cigarette burn holes.

Bilingual menus with the English horribly butchered.

"Fryed mashrooms" indeed.

Hahahah let's see..
1. Masked chain restaurant
Eg, different name and different kind of restaurants but overlapping foods, or same owner
2.demographics
A lot of college students or either family signifies it is cheap food. By being 'racist' helps in the mean that I believe each race or culture has different palate. It does not relate to that bad neighborhood stereotypes.
3.good ratings
A high rate online made by reviews of mostly youngsters, example hipsters or college student. Red flag.
4. Out of place furniture.
Often comes subtle, you will not notice it unless you've come and sit down and realized that the decor is out of place.
5. Full
Restaurants that are full until having a waiting list, full by hype is not worth it to check out.
6.hipster menu
Menus that uses certain ingredients as boost to mark up money, example is a normal burger-but switching the cheese with some obscure cheese.

In bongistan
>The restaurant building is one story
>The "restaurant" has a sky sports banner on it
>Any fried chicken shop that's not KFC but called [location in america] fried chicken
>Any kebab shop without seats
>Any fish and chip shop WITH seats
>Anything that has a halal sign in its window
>One of the few wimpys that are left
>Anything that looks like it used to be a little chef next to a motorway

>Anything that looks like it used to be a little chef next to a motorway
Holy shit this

It doesn't even have to actually be next to a motorway, just that squat sandstone building with brown tile roof and a glass fronted reception area
Bonus points if there's a leaflet rack by the door

Also to add
> any "cafe" that uses e instead of é
> Any café with old people smoking infront of it
>Any café with people with hi Vis vests sitting in front of it

Any Chinese restaurant filled with elderly white people. If I see this I just turn around and leave.

-ill behaved children
-doesn't have tablecloths
-doesn't have cloth napkins
-menu isn't seasonal
-BYOB (I rarely drink, but the lack of a liquor license is a major red flag)

>they have tvs
This
>worked at restaurant at (popular theme park)
>guest asks where there's a restaurant in the park where he can watch """the game"""
what is immersion
can you just live in the moment for one day

nigga u are literally an insane weirdo if this is how your mind works. got damn