I've given up attempting to write my feelings, to express myself. I want to die. I feel like such an awful writer and human being, and I have no other interests.
Does anyone else feel like this? Is there any way out of despair? Your thoughts are appreciated.
Are you a frogman? I love hearing the frog people talking about killing themselves
I'm not a frogman. If I were, wouldn't I have given you a frog? And why do you feed on misery? Do you like the feeling you receive?
Grow some balls, faggot. You sound like an /r9k/ type
I'm married and working and I have many friends. I don't hate women at all, and I blame nobody for my problems. I just want to know why I have this feeling. I don't want it.
The principium individuationis of human beings is suffering. You are not alone.
Why can't I turn my suffering into anything? Why do I keep practicing but turn up nothing.
Because you're too comfortable deriving paradoxical pleasure in pain. It's more potentially traumatizing to actually try to improve your lot in life -- with the spectre of failure being a tangible possibility -- than to keep shying away from whatever emotional/psychological issue that constitutes your being and keeping on wallowing in self-pity.
Chemical imbalance. Possible genetic, possibly from diet, lack of overall health. Your only real solution is to get prescribed a medication which will ameliorate your symptoms long enough for you to develop healthy habits and reasses basic assumptions you have about yourself and life and hopefully change them into functional ideas. One of your assumptions is that if you feel bad you are bad. You aren't bad because you feel bad. You're just going through a hard time. You kind of have to take the steps to get help though. It can get worse if untreated.
I think this is a regurgitated pre assertion that is made for all general suicidal people.
You fashion yourself as the hero, the iron person who has not fallen off due to your sheer will and ability.
Maybe you are. I know that I work everyday to improve my situation. I still am not there.
I've been treated for it. I took a host of pills. I have healthy habits. I eat a diet of meat and vegetables and rice mostly. I excersise and I interact socially.
This is the confusion. Why am I still here?
...
Good post.
It's Freud desu.
>You fashion yourself as the hero
Why are you saying this? I've never said that. I said that we all suffer
You must fashion yourself as stronger, more knowing than the suicidal because you think you've defeated your mental and emotional reactions or at least avoided them.
Well like I said it's still a problem but that isn't your fault. You need to be on medication now. You need to be honest and work with a doctor to get one that works. Also you need to be able to work with a therapist to get feedback on prevalent views which may be holding you back. You have to give yourself the kind of sympathy that you probably give others. I'm speaking as someone who is going through hell with depression myself and I need to take my own advice. I've been reading RD Laing the past few days and that's when I realized it is weird to think I'm bad for feeling bad but that is a very basic assumption in my mind and even realizing that it's still not easy to get rid of it. Really though throw some of your caution to the wind and seek help.
You are chatting absolute shite.
It's about identifying with the symptom, you defensive you
>>
I don't feel bad for feeling bad. I feel genuinely bad at writing and as a person.
But it's not one of my symptoms. I don't hide from my emotions and I don't just pretend the problem isn't there. I've been doing well for a long time.
>I don't hide from my emotions and I don't just pretend the problem isn't there
Consciously no, probably not.
Honestly this is my fault for thinking that you would help. Your advice is probably sound, but I'm not in the mental state to understand this. I shouldn't have even wasted your time.
Stop trying to express your feelings and just write an interesting story for a change.
>any way out of the despair
No, not unless you're weak enough to be swayed by metaphors. Sorry user, it's no fun. Keep trying to write if it's what you want to do, though. The alternative is rope. It's a fine alternative, and lots of fine people elect to buy rope. Up to you really. Though, it's poor form to kill yourself without reading the existentialists first and seeing if you're the type whose weak enough to be swayed by metaphor. Sisyphus is good intro-tier; move from him into Cioran if you feel cheated (if you didn't, congrats you're cured. Also you're a faggot). If at that point you find yourself annoyed that Cioran himself died of old age, I'd say maybe move into Kierkegaard--the novel
diary of a seducer. At this point you may recognize that what Cioran meant by Lyricism is essentially the facile fascination with riddles; you've already staved off suicide with a few weeks of reading. Oddly enough, you've managed to live without justification the entire time. Continue reading if that's a curious fact, or go buy rope as soon as you realize it's not that interesting.
Sorry for projecting, offering my own wanderlust; maybe it will be cathartic if nothing else. Godspeed m8