Itt: things your parents do when cooking that irritates you

Itt: things your parents do when cooking that irritates you

>mom always burns stuff and there's never enough salt, instead she puts garlic into EVERYTHING

>dad always goes overboard with experimenting. He just mashes everything together he finds in the kitchen (and a bit of THAT and some of THOSE), making the different tastes unidentifieable. Plus he has fallen for the whole "wild plants" meme and puts weeds into everything. Pic related

Not that i want to complain, it's awesome they both actually cook, just want to hear some funny stories.

not especially funny, but my old man makes shoe leather pork chops
the seasoning is either shake and bake, or a packet of ranch powder

Yum

>Boomer grandpa lives with old ugly lady,
>Asks if we want hamburgers, get excited
>literally grossest ham I can imagine, in a burger bun
>Umm, Thnx guys that was good.
>Proceed to wash mouth with ginger ale
>Inb4 poor, I fed myself much better on 5$ a day.

Why do boomers suck at everything? No wonder the world went to shit.

Everything savory improves with garlic and it is impossible to use too much garlic

You obviously don't know my mom's food...

Perhaps, he does.

>mom never tastes the food she makes and is scared of using salt
>dad doesn't cook, barely knows how to handle the coffee machine
could be worse desu

my mum fucks with my cooking.
I'm perfectly capable of cooking better than decent food, i never get complaints and there is rarely left overs because people go back for seconds.
But the moment i leave the kitchen, to take a piss or get the phone she will sneak in and add things to my cooking.
>adds herbs and spices that dont go with the meal
>adds peas to everything
Please for the love of fuck stop adding peas to everything.

Ho my mom "pan fries" stuff:

>use margarine instead of oil
>use way too much margarine
>put meat in
>put lid on top of the pan
>let it simmer in while swimming in the melted margarine on low for like an hour
>wonder why my dad doesn't like her pork chops

She insists on doing it like that. I've given up.

My stepdad considers himself the chef of the house but he always buy these half fabricat stuff. If he's making lasagna, he buys the cheese sauce thing in a can thing, he buys a fucking lasagna kit. All he actually do is to put it together. It's so disgusting and all it tastes is tomatoes.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

When making spaghetti, my mom insists on mixing EVERYTHING TOGETHER. Meaning she will cook the noodles in the sauce throw in beef and by the time it's done , over cooked soggy fucking noodles and that taste of bitter regret. Oh same applies for her fucking macaroni and cheese.

...

My mom is a lazy cook. She will start cooking but never finish it. She puts meat on and starts watching tv without checking or regulating the heat and will ask others to flip it when they go to the kitchen. Sometimes she goes to do laundry and asks someone else to check but she never comes back to take back the reigns.

She once fucked up so badly that she could have burned the house down. I was still in highschool and came home to find the entire kitchen filled with smoke. Turning off the heat I found out a pan with what was supposed to be beef was on the stove and was now cooked dry and entirely burned.

I called up the stairs for my mother and told her what happened (I was still wearing my coat and was worried) only to find out that she thought I was going to be home about an hour earlier than this and that she had gone to bed. She thought I was coming back around 2 and that I would look after the beef, but my classes were till 3:00-3:30 or something.

>mom only adds spices/herbs in at the very very end of cooking
>doesn't care to use wooden spoons for our teflon pans
>will mess with the gas when im cooking something and she happens to be in the kitchen
>very picky, won't eat anything i make, so i have to make the foods she eats in her own shitty way

My grandmother does this. It's a fucking nightmare. She's really great at baking but she seems to have convinced herself that means she's great at everything else too.
Last time I cooked for her she added cold water to my rice half way through cooking because 'it had all soaked up'

Do all of your parents have dementia?

My mom used to make less food that she needed when having people over and it used to make me mad for some reason, it's not that she's cheap or anything but she's just bad at calculating servings

>mom has high blood pressure or whatever
>no sodium (and therefore no flavor) in anything

My dad does, he cooks the veggies to mush sometimes and forgets how much spices he put in. He thinks the flavor is amazing at the end of it.

It isn't easy that he's not really allowed to cook that much anymore and whenever I visit I cook for my parents.

This guy again

You know those premade frozen fish dishes in aluminium cases that you just have to bake in the oven? She puts insane amounts of margarine on them, so they have "more sauce".
The sauce is basically melted margarine with a bit of the marinade stirred in.
Also the cooking margarine squirts all around inside the oven while baking, but she still blames me every time it's covered in fat from the inside.
Pic related.

again
It really feels good to get to talk about, because according to her, I'm the bad cook who's responsible for getting her kitchen getting dirty and stinking it up every single time I cook and she's super passive aggressive about it all the time and it has made me fucking rage inside for a very long time..

I still love her, but that part of her makes me want to fucking punch through a brick wall.

>getting her kitchen getting dirty

I blame the rum for my grammar mistakes. I need to go to bed.

>insanely big pieces of vegetables
>overcooks everything because terrified of foodborne illnesses
>whole cardamom pods and/or huge pieces of ginger in the food

>mom never cooks for you and just hands you a happy meal or TV dinner every day after school
>dad got you every other weekend and just brought you out to eat for every meal until he died

can't relate desu

Have a free hug and OC cat picture from a random person on the internet.

My mom insists on washing every pan with soap and water after every little use and can't figure out why the cast iron is rusting and the stainless steel always sticks. I've tried to tell her about seasoning pan but she has an ocd like fear of "dirty" pans for some reason.

Give peas a chance.

Its her house she can do what she wants

Don’t be a gay cunt

My dad was a trash cook. He is so lazy and mindless when i comes to making food. Every time he would cook during the week, it would be bland and dried out excrement. We always had 'adobo' seasoning, which is garlic and salt. He would put that on chicken or porn chops, every time, without fail. He would then proceed to cook the chicken to the point of no return. Always as dry as the mojave. He would over cook it because he would fuck off and tinker around. He NEVER concentrated on the food he was making. He would Start cooking rice while everything else was finishing up. It became a great displeasure knowing I had to eat his effortless slop. Stringy, dried out, bland, over cooked meats were his specialty. I started cooking every a few years ago, in spite of his cooking. I'd rather take it upon myself and make something half decent and edible. My father is a disgrace in the kitchen. the only thing he cooks that he pputs care and effort into are his weekend breakfasts. Mind you, its only for him.

>this doesn't taste like anything
>"oh user just put on your own salt and pepper!"
no bitch you just don't know how to season

she makes the meat too tough

My god, the vegetables... why not cut them into bite size right away? It just seems so lazy. And even worse, there are huge bits and tiny ones, so part is overcooked, part is still raw. Just why...

>porn chops

Interesting...

stepdad doesnt work so he always makes the meals
>never washes his hands
>sticks his fingers in everything
>wonders why i never make it to dinner

Were boomers collectively raped by foodborne illness when they were young? My parents are incapable of cooking meat for less than an hour. My dad will never fail to tell me to make sure my pork is fully cooked so I don't get Trichenella. I don't even bother telling him I cook venison anymore, he gets visibly upset that I don't cook it into leather.

No, they were raised by a generation who bought into dark pedagogy (humans are born evil, you must beat the evil out of them and break their will). This approach broke their spirit, so they had zero selfesteem. The only way they could get attention was by playing the victime whilst also refusing any help, so they did that and all became hypochondric and paranoid. I'm glad when that generation dies out. It's a real drag.

not boomers but their parents had serious scares
they passed their fears and cooking "techniques" down to their children

is this what vegans eat?

That's what people who buy into conspiracy theories eat, so yes.

I don't know what it is about boomers and their margarine. Must've been in vogue when they were growing up to still be using such an inferior product. Probably a lot of 90s propaganda about fat=bad.

>mom fried everything with Country Crock margarine
>never knew what true butter was unless I was eating someplace else that served it
>always wanted to pour butter on popcorn like in tv commercials or the movies
>tried to pour melted margarine on popcorn
>could see the salty water and oils separate
>tried it anyway
>popcorn dissolved from the margarine water and turned into a sorry soggy mess
>finally begged mom to buy real butter
>"BUT IT'S UNHEALTHY user"

She also had another special way of frying steak. She would plop a piece of steak meat in a pan, drown it in Italian dressing, covered the pan, and let the steak "fry" (re boil). Took it out when it was frisco seal gray, and then served with a side of ketchup.

>vegetables unwrapped and mixed in one compartment, rotting at the bottom, herbs and and half cut bits everywhere
>fridge shelves packed with beer and bottles of dry wine
>temps too low
>door packed with 100 different condiments
>cat food in the fridge, everything infused with it now
>indian and chinese takeaway leftovers is a permanent fixture that stains all
>three different margarine brands
>freezer non existent, houses trash ice cream and cancer hangover frozen food
>olive oil b& can only stock rape and other vegetable oils
>more curry/exotic snowflake spices than an asian market but no comfy versatile like oregano
>unlimited gamer fuel stocks to rival career neets, cola, sweets, chips, chocolate etc.
>refuse to use butter, olive oil, lard or any animal fats in cooking, uses spray canola oil
>can't cook rice, always sticky or bottom quarter of pan is burnt in offering to ragnarok
>can't cook pasta, either blanches it, soggy asf or burnt
>fell for the off the bone 8hr meme, meat tastes boilt to 400c
>garlic usage breaks new frontiers all the time
>1kg of weekly chilli peppers and powder
>only certified bread is white sliced and frozen baguette
>only allowed fruit is granny cunt smith apples
>rotted wooden utensils, blunt knives
>dishes eroded beyond use to threadbare, can actually hear them plead for swift death
>flatly refuse to rinse dishes, subtle detergent notes detected
>dishwasher more than a decade old, cutlery comes with soldered pieces of surprise flavour
>cooking and prep time is 3 times what it is for most people
>traditional recipes blasphemed for fusion and experiment
>everything is cans and sauce jars, packets, mixes, no skill or taste involved
>openly boast of nonexistent culinary powers

I can only pity their slob uneducated ways, plebs will never understand. You can be poor or retarded and still practice decent kitchen standards

mom washed thanksgiving turkey in the sink under hot water

Are you me? I feel like I finish every meal she starts. Had a similar story, around 16, my mom wants to make peas in the microwave, puts it in for like 15 minutes or some shit, thinks we'll watch it, she ended up filling the house with smoke and literally frying the microwave. Idk how to this day

Don't remind me of the spice rack. Holy motherfucking hell.

Last time i visited my mom she didn't have plain SALT. only some weird chilli sea salt mix. Come on...

All the spices are stuck together because she seasons right into the steaming pan.

All the spices have expired about 5 years ago.

Spice mixed galore.

She's also so bad with not letting food rot. There will always be something rotted in the fridge and some moths in the pantry. I still have to empty a tiny bit of milk out of the can before using it because it was so common that you end up having sour milk in your cereals if you didn't check.

>will mess with the gas when im cooking something and she happens to be in the kitchen

this so fucking much

>mom doesn't like fish too much and only eats it if it doesn't taste "too fishy" and is cooked to death
>i buy some good quality trout with skin on
>want to cook it on medium-high temp on the skin side for like 70% of the time then let it finish on the other side with the heat turned off
>mom turns down initial temperature without me noticing to medium-low
>skin doesn't get crispy, fish undercooked in the middle
>she doesn't like it because it's undercooked

god damn it