Finally, I can drink wine without my buddies making fun of me

I don't understand gendered products like this.
Isn't it embarrassing to buy stuff with special labeling marketed toward men because the normal version was "too feminines" for you?
Like dove soap and dove soap FOR MEN

>being so insecure in your masculinity you have to drink wine dressed up in a can

As far as I can make out it doesn't even list the type of grapes.
I don't care what container it's in; it's clearly piss.

I would much rather drink brandy or rum.

BUT IT'S FOR MEN, IT'S A MANCAN. CAN'T YOU SEE? OH GOD PLEASE STOP JUDGING ME

UV LIGHT IS A MAJOR DESTABILIZER OF WINE. THE BEAUTY OF OUR CANS (BESIDES THE FACT THAT OUR DOG GRACEY ADORNS THE LABEL) IS THAT IT BLOCKS OUT THE LIGHT. THAT KEEPS THE WINE MORE STABLE SO THAT WHEN YOU REACH INTO YOUR FRIDGE TO CRACK ONE OPEN, YOU’LL GET A REFRESHING BEVERAGE.

So does a box...

The patron way to drink wine is from the box one liter at a time

this somehow manages to look gayer than just drinking wine from a wine glass

thats less manly than drinking wine like a normal person

even worse than wine in a box

>even worse than wine in a box
but it tastes and feels so good

>just then Jon put down his tall boy, I couldn't help but notice his hand cupped around the can. He noticed my eyes, locked too long on his strong hand and watched me as I brought my gaze up to meet his. "Yo, we going to fuck or what?" He said as he motioned to the bar tender, asking for our check. "Least I can do is pay for my bitches wine before I wreck dat ass."

>real man
>self conscious about his beverage of choice

Imagine being this much of a faggot

cringe

Sounds like a shitty solution to a made-up problem.

>this guy's not even an alcoholic yet! ahahahahahahha

This is like some shark tank shit.. I'm out

>3 beers is too much

pussy

these

cringe product for:
fragile masculinity
repressed homos

>but these dicks in my mouth and ass taste and feel so good

fixed

I'd rather fragile masculinity than fragile stemware. I don't want to deal with that.

why are you quoting your father?

nah my dad doesn't drink boxed wine

Order in litteraly any other glass then. It is a waste, but go ahead I'm sure they will do it.

>I must grip the glass as HARD AS I CAN

>I'm too retarded to handle anything more advanced then a tippy cup.

>letting someone dictate how you live your life
KYS

I'm sorry that I value quality when it comes to my cups.

>cannot into anything other than limp fish or extreme death grip

>He doesn't power lift his fork when he eats.

unh!
EXTREME!

>he doesn't shotgun his wine

So follow my advice
Drink like a 55 y o white woman in west Virginia out of what ever solo cup or beer glass you like. No law or rule states that you have to pour from a wine bottle into any specific shape. That still doesn't answer why you would forgo the glass and drink from a can. Also: you know they make stemless whine glasses for both white and red right? Soccer mom's love that shit. You can get right into your neighbors pants while her husband is at work if you bring over a set of stemless glasses.

This looks way more embarrassing to purchase as opposed to making up some lie to the cashier about how your gf/wife demands her Franzia.

quintessential american

if youre drinking out of anything less than a goon bag you're not a real man.

why wouldn't he just order a bottle of the cheapest wine like a normal person

americans are fucking pathetic

But ordering a glass of wine but not in a wine glass at a restaurant or a bar is too much hassle for me. I want something I can ask for without sounding like a prick. It'd be much easier if I could just ask for a can of wine. Simple, smooth, hassle free.

Is wine too feminine now? Why would you not want to smell your beverage when aroma is such a large part of taste?

>one mancan please, i don't want to look like a weirdo

These look really good though. You could drink wine in a car with these or while you are walking somewhere. You could also threw one to someone instead of having to pour for everyone.

Also these would be great for wine on the beach. You could put them down in the sand with less fear of spilling than with a glass and you don't have to drink from the same hole as other people like with a bottle.
You could even leave them floating in ice water or a cool box.
They would be good to put out for a party because an individual could start drinking wine without needing people to share so that they wouldn't look greedy.

These could be the future but people are too insecure to be seen drinking them so they probably won't take off.

>Too insecure to drink in a glass
>Too insecure to drink in a mini-bottle
>Too insecure to drink in a capri-sun bag
>Too insecure to drink in a can

That absolute state of one of the oldest ways of getting drunk..

Thanks roasties & social media

>not getting a bottle with a screw top and drinking straight from it
>not having personal bottles

it's like you don't want to get pissed

>Americans are pathetic
I don't see your flag on the moon, Pedro.

You silly men and your fragility

It takes a strong character to live with fragile masculinity. Roasties wouldn't understand. Women hardly ever get accused of not being women unless they are reeeaaally ugly.

How do you get flags on this board?

Glass wine bottles keep out all UV.

Roasties don't care to understand, but they love this product because it makes it even more simple to identify the easy marks.

You don't, I just assumed by your jealousy that you're brown.

this

I live in an oil town in Texas and see guys in steel toes buying bottles of wine all the time. It's just what you drink with dinner when you're not a bugman faggot

yeah that sounds very believable and not totally made up, a very original and clever idea

>red wine
>fridge

I assume from you being from America that you're brown lmao.

>lmao.
Don't you mean HAUEUEUEUE

Nope I'm 100% euro, 68% of that is British. I'm probably whiter than you.

underrated

>there are actual closet fags out there too insecure to buy wine
For some reason it reminds me of Robert Downey jr in stilts. There's something comecially pathetic about being so insecure of yourself

>yes men are the insecure ones and that's a GOOD thing
>women are never pushed to be womanly

>It's okay for a woman to be extremely insecure about their height though :)

>mancan
That's the gayest shit ever, and far more worthy of mocking than simply drinking wine.

>>It's okay for a woman to be extremely insecure about their height though :)
And their face....and hair....and fingernails...and toenails.

underrated

>He doesn't buy the 1 liter container of wine and crush it in the drivers seat before leaving the parking lot

>American
>White

Pick exactly one.

Dumb name and marketing, but good concept to make wine less pretentious and more portable

>MANCAN
>Shut up and drink.
SNL skits these days just ain't what they used to be

Do people really put beverage cans in their back pockets?

what did you expected from reddit?

Real men buy overpriced European wine and drink it like a thirsty camel drinks water

Needs more truck nuts

The best wine I can find is from an Italian company called Bolla, and they're not expensive at all.

Dubs confrims this is what actually happened.

Baaaaaiiiiittt

I think my favorite 10th grade memory was watching my friend Justin wrestle against a girl. Justin was my “straight” mutual masturbation friend. I talked to him a lot about my fetish (not that I knew it was that back then). I could tell he kind of liked it too but wasn’t at the point of admitting it. I noticed he got hard in the match (something he rarely did) and looked red, flushed, and distracted. The girl got him pinned and I saw him pull his knees as close to his stomach as possible. He got up really quickly but stayed hunched far down as they shook hands. He ran over to the bench and ran by me whispering, “Andrew, come here.” Out of sight next to the bleachers he showed me what looked like a decent sized pre-cum stain on his singlet. ”Yeah, now you know how I feel when I get them!” I said. But he shook his head and looked around to make sure no one could see. He pulled off his singlet down a little past his crotch and his underwear with it.

Inside his tight black briefs was a white sticky mess, his cock still semi. Thankfully for him, the thickness of our dark maroon singlets and his black briefs contained most of the jizz except for a small spot. He said that he LET her pin him so he could get away as soon as possible. He felt like he was going to bust for a good while and when he realized he lost that battle he completely surrendered to her to run and hide. I was speechless and just stared at him. My fantasy of seeing someone cum on the mat just happened (sort of, would have loved for it to have been more humiliating and for it to have been MY opponent.) Justin then ran to the locker room and cleaned up. He came back, freeballing thanks to his only available underwear now being in the trash, in his gold gym shorts. His cock was semi again and showed so clearly you could see his circumcised head. Thankfully I had already wrestled because I had a huge hardon the rest of the night thinking about what had happened. If I did have to wrestle I don’t know how I would’ve handled all the rubbing and grabbing with the image of Justin’s cum-covered cock so fresh in my head. I probably would have suffered the same fate, except I was freeballing and wouldn’t have gotten away as unnoticed as Justin. I went home and whacked off twice reliving the night. Jesus, that was seven years ago, but it feels like yesterday…maybe that’s because I’ve never stopped thinking of it. His shaky voice, eyes tearing up, cum-stained undies in a gym full of people. I was devastated when Justin moved half-way through his junior year. Not just because I lost a good friend and jack-off buddy, but because I’d never get to see him possibly jizz on the mat in front of a stadium full of people again!

If I killed myself I would be letting you dictate how I live my life, and then I would have to kill myself.

>sulfuric moldy feet alcohol guaranteed to give you the worst hangover everytime

It must be hell to be a wino.

>mancan

fpbp I laughed

They've been making razors for women (exactly the same blade as the male version, but held by pink plastic instead of black/blue plastic. It's more expensive of course) for a while, and feminists complain.
Now males can't complain about gendered products because that would make them sound like feminists. The irony.

After closeted faggots, America invented canned homosexuality.

>implying the moon landing was real
nigga plz

ROASTIE LEAVE ME BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The marketing for that is cancer but I would try it

>yankees are this self-conscious that they can't even be winos because they think it's gay
>they think it's even bad to be gay in The Current Year

the only reason i dont chug white wine is that it is marginally more expensive than beer. but if i could lounge around in a miniskirt and drink white wine while shitposting online and playing resident evil 4, by god, i would

im 100% sure the guy who "invented" this got the idea from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and im also positive there's probably a good reason wine didn't popularly come in cans before but does come in easy to conceal cartons

To be fair, wine just isn't a big seller at some bars and they won't want to bother keeping a stock of it for literally one or two customers, especially if it's a small town that's unlikely to get new clients and is mostly regulars with consistent orders

what is "its always sunny in philly"
i hope this assholes "invention" puts em in bankruptcy.

>and feminists complain.
ive never heard feminists complain about female razors. they complain about "toxic masculinity" in men's razor commercials, though.

but yeah male and female razors are exactly the same, barring shit like the extra wide Venus ones or the new rolly ones for men's faces. standard 3 blade disposables are literally all the same except for the color of the plastic chassis. the blades are even often cross-compatible among gendered razors from the same company or line

>americans need a hipster excuse to drink wine and play manly men without feeling a faggot because they're insecure faggots
>meanwhile in the real world
LMAOing @ ur lives

>let's act like women! that sure as hell won't make me look like an insecure faggot
welp