Grocery store pet peeves. As a customer, employee or anything else

...

Old women playing chicken at you with their shopping carts.

They pretty much know for a fact that you have to move out of their way, otherwise you're the autistic asshole who picked a fight with an old lady over what side of the aisle to walk down.

When people (usually fucking women) stand side by side chatting about their miserable goddamn lives, thus blocking access to the shit I want if not the entire godforsaken aisle.

>"What's today's date?"

Mistakenly going to the grocery store the day people get their food stamps replenished

I got no peeves but I got a story from some long years back
>Work at a store during summer vacation
>Guy who is obviously stealing a cart full of meats, beer, and laundry detergent tries to waltz past the checkout to the door
>Stand in front of him and forcefully bring the cart to a halt
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING KID, HUH? BRING ME YOUR MANAGER, I'M TELLING HIM YOU JUST ASSAULTED ME"
>Tell him I didn't see him go through checkout, and that I'd like to see the receipt for his purchase
>Guy flips his shit and, realizing he's been found out, shoves the cart into me and makes a run out to the parking lot leaving it all behind
>I'm a mad as fuck high schooler with shit grades and shit wages, and I ain't about to let this fucker do that to me and get away with it
>Chase him to his car where he's fumbling the keys
>Shove him against his own car, slam his head into the door window which makes the alarm go off, hammering the back of his skull out of rage
>Firefighters who always shop here see this, in fact everybody sees this
>Aw shit now I dunnit
I got off easy with the law because by coworkers were justifying it as attempt at civilian arrest but I totally got fired for beating the fuck out of somebody. I don't know what it's like nowadays, but when I was working that store the policy was that shoplifters are untouchable once they hit the parking lot.

the people who debate over every item they come across for five minutes.
the people who walk so slow you wonder why they then complain if the cashier needs a price check
the people who park their cart and their body in such a way to block off an entire aisle and refuse to even notice there may be other people near by
the people who pretend you don't exist
t. grocery business for 15 years.

Old white men staring at you dead in the face

Come on. Stop that. Please.

You're a good guy.

>When you go shopping on the day everyone gets their oil royalty check.

>some hipster douche and his hambeast wife wedge themselves in the aisle right by what I need and stand there chit-chatting
>calmly say things like "excuse me" and "i'd like to get through, please" but they make a point of ignoring me
>there's just a little bit of room to one side so i squeeze through, grab what i need, and leave
>hear the douchebag say "i can't believe how fucking rude some people are" as I'm walking away

If I stop showing up to Veeky Forums it's because I'm in jail for beating some piece of shit to death with a can of chickpeas.

I got a story too, not as tough guy
>have to ID everyone in a group if one is buying alcohol and they look young
>two "attractive and successful" young women come through my line with like Mad dog 20/20, hennesy, heaven hill, etc...
>Hi mam can I see your ID?
>I need to see your ID too (to other lady)
>"WHAT YOU RACIST SOB WARGARBLE *chimp sounds*"
>bitch shoves cart into bagger
>finally pulls it out, made that whole fucking scene for nothing because they were both of age
>should have called the police on them but too young and dumb at the time

I fucking hate niggers

In some yurofaggot cultures they see it as a literal request that they dont need to fill. Granted they probably werent yuropeans but probably somehow got the same breed of insufferable.

Using the traditional cashier checkouts.

They no longer pack the bags for you, so what happens is the cashier scans all your groceries (fairly quickly) and they put it on a second conveyor belt where you have to go to the end of it and pack everything in the bags yourself. But you have to manually press the fucking button to make all the groceries come towards you. So while you're packing, you constantly have to fucking stop and press the button and hold it to make more groceries come your way. And you feel rushed as fuck because the cashier scans through them so quickly that if you don't press the button often enough, the groceries begin to pile up at the beginning of the conveyor belt. The cashier is typically finished scanning everything super quickly, so there comes a point when you've only packed like 40% of your groceries, and then you have to walk back a bit to pay for everything. After you pay, you have to go pack to the end of the conveyor belt to pack the rest of your shit and now you feel rushed again because now there's a person right fucking behind you who's ready to have the cashier scan their shit as well. And despite it not being your fault, you're suddenly in their fucking way and look like a retard who does everything slow as hell.

With the self-check outs, you can pretty much take your time and once you get the hang of it, you should rarely need an attendant to come fix something you fucked up.

Sounds like you go to a shit grocer or a WinCo.

Do you shop at foodmaxx/food4less? That's the only one I know that does that, everywhere else either the clerk bags them or a bagger is there to do it for you

Just because you're too much of a sperg to make eye contact with people doesn't mean everyone has to be.

I only found one store that did this. It was awkward as fuck, the cashier just sort of shrugged at me to start bagging my shit, and I didnt catch on right away. I looked bleakly around for someone to come. Why was this so humiliating? Felt like I was doing slave work.

When you are checking out and the cart tard shows up and wants to "help" load your groceries/try to communicate.
Either with you, the cashier, or the customer behind you, at very inappropriate volumes while laughing at what it thought was a joke.

People who change their minds about an item and leave it behind in an unrelated section. It's even worse when it's a perishable, like a package of ground beef abandoned in the canned foods aisle

People who leave their coffee cups on shelves

Parents who can't control their dumbass children and won't make even the slightest attempt to correct their obnoxious behavior

When aisles are just barely wide enough for two-way traffic, but you're blocked on both lanes

The same as above, but you also can't back out because more shoppers just moved in behind you

When you ask somebody to move so you can get out, but absolutely nobody gives a shit

People who tell that tired old "It must be free!" joke when an item doesn't properly scan at the register

People who refer to shopping carts as "buggies"

Cashiers who make judgmental comments about your purchases

When you're using the self checkout and the program keeps telling you "Please put your item in the bagging area," but you already put the item there, it just doesn't recognize it because it weighs very little

People who talk to you for no fucking reason. You're not an employee, you don't know the person, you just want to shop in peace

Those employees from the finance sector who follow you around the store to get you to sign up for a credit card; this is usually only a problem with larger chain stores

Customers who hold up the line with their phone conversation

Its not about being a sperg, just getting scrutinized with clear hostile intent.

And fuck you btw.

>Credit cards.
We get cut hours if we don't meet quota.
It hurts us as much as it hurts you.

>When you're using the self checkout and the program keeps telling you "Please put your item in the bagging area," but you already put the item there, it just doesn't recognize it because it weighs very little
push down on the bagging area with your hand then let go. usually works for me.

I'm in Canada. This is at the "Superstore" (full name: Real Canadian Superstore). It's owned by the biggest grocery retailer in the country, Loblaws, which has basically identical grocery stores under that name as well.

It's not exactly some dumpy place. I'm guessing they only make you do what I mentioned at the more dumpy grocery store chains in the US?

>People who talk to you for no fucking reason. You're not an employee, you don't know the person, you just want to shop in peace

I get this shit all the time. What the fuck is it about me that makes old people think I'm seeking conversation?

The stores mentioned are like, a tier below a WalMart.

Seems a bit neurotic to put intentions into random strangers' heads.

They think you are their grandson.

>I'm guessing they only make you do what I mentioned at the more dumpy grocery store chains in the US?
No it only happens at fuckhuge ones like the one you posted. Even shitty little Safeway stores bag your groceries for you. That one you posted looks more like a pretty walmart instead of a grocery store.

I have a limited work schedule, so the only times I go shopping are when the fucking senior citizens are there. I don't know what fucking happens, but every time I go to the store when I'm off work, there are substantial numbers of old people.

Someone above mentioned old ladies. I have, through pure attrition, developed a strategy for dealing with these fucking grannies.

The trick? Mirroring. I read about this trick in some pseudo-science book about psychology, so I decided to try it and see if it works.

Whenever you come across an old fucking lady who wants to play chicken with you the answer is--MIMIC HER BODY LANGUAGE. DO EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS DOING. REACT HOW SHE REACTS. MAKE THE SAME FACES. If confronted, match their TONE OF VOICE. Say whatever you want, but MATCH THEIR TONE OF VOICE.

It has never failed. The salt is hilarious.

Just say "excuse me" like a normal person.

If it's a cashier pushing the credit cards, I don't mind nearly as much, because they usually relent fairly easily.

What I don't like is when they literally follow me around the shop floor, hounding me to sign up for a credit card.

And if they don't meet quota, then fine, I'll just use the self checkout. I just have to remember to push on the bagging area with my hand if I have a featherlight item again, according to .

Customers who come into the store, buy nothing, and ask if they can have free boxes.

That's quite a jump

Heh

>Be 19
>Working in produce dept
>Some lady opens the door
>Y'all got any banana boxes?
>No, sorry.
>What are THOSE?
>Oh, I'm not allowed to give those out, ma'am.
>YOU'RE not allowed to, but if someone took them, they could, right? What would you do if someone just took them?
>Uhhhhh I'm 19
>Walks behind me, takes boxes, and leaves.
>That was odd.

You're approachable. Take it as a compliment

They're literally just that lonely.

yep 9/10 times they are wearing some fuckn random fitness wear

People who leave a trail of dripping coffee across the entire fucking store because they failed the class on how to hold a cup of coffee while pushing a cart.

>Cashiers who make judgmental comments about your purchases

I work in a hospital and there's this one one rude bitch cashier at the cafeteria who does shit like this all the time.

>Oh you're getting a WHOLE sub and not just a half, okay thennn......

Customers who insist on their bags being a specific weight, and want you to put every bag on the scale so they can personally verify the weight of each bag.
Then want that bag double bagged.

I have had a customer do this every time she comes over to shop, and she turns the whole thing into a ten minute fiasco.

That's interesting.

I thought the intention of mirroring was to trick a person into quickly liking you, not hating you. How does this work?

fuck off with your reddit spacing, retard. You're autistic ass post takes up my entire goddamn screen.

Customers who do not use a divider between their purchase and another customers.
Customers who do this, and instead use their arm, and proceed to shove every item on the belt into a pile because the belt moved.

>People who change their minds about an item and leave it behind in an unrelated section. It's even worse when it's a perishable, like a package of ground beef abandoned in the canned foods aisle

God this is the fucking worst. How fucking hard is it to take the 90 seconds to put things back where you found? You better have a fucking physical disability of some kind to pull this shit, and even then, why not ask someone to put it back for you?

I'm an employee at a small store, that's still large enough to have three lanes and shopping carts.

The fuckers that don't read the pin pad and just hit yes to everything and are like "Oh, I didn't want Cash Back, how do I go back?"
You can't. I have to start the credit card transaction all over again. But I've gotten used to that, it hardly bothers me.
What sends me UP THE FUCKING WALL is when they decide the best course of action is to yank their card out to abort the whole thing.
That shit has a strong chance to freeze up my computer for the next TEN FUCKING MINUTES while I'm the ONLY cashier open.
And worse than that, there's even a chance that I'll have to reboot the computer.
Because you couldn't read a goddamn pin pad.

When my jam is playing on the in-store but it keeps getting interrupted by pages because someone won't answer their phone.
Deli Department! Two Zero Two!
You're killing me, Smalls!

>People who refer to shopping carts as "buggies"
Come on back down to the South now y'hear! But in all seriousness they ARE buggies you yankee faggot.

I remember hearing some bizarre conversations from the soccer moms who'd post up in the aisle where I was stocking shelves when I worked at Walmart.
Most of it was gossip about other elementary school moms but more than one conversation about Jews, government overthrow, and white genocide (they actually used that term) took place.
One old lady told me to invest my paychecks in silver from here on

>a style of posting that has existed for decades in online forums now belongs to reddit
>wanting to stifle a fellow man's freedom of expression
>You're

Way

to

let

those

faggots

win,

you

dick.

bitch ain't nobody keep track a that shit

I hate that shit.
>Be working.
>Be on a Genie lift working on something on the ceiling.
>Trying to not think about how high up I am.
>*BAM*
>Nearly jump out of the tiny basket I am in.
>Some old lady ignored the safety cones around the lift and is HITTING it with her cart.
>Hits it a few more times before lifting a corner of the cart and rolling over the base of the lift because she wanted to look at something outside.
>Comes back two seconds later, AND HITS THE LIFT AGAIN.

I never understood what this was for.
Crackhead types would always tell me to "save the big ones" when I was stocking, then come back an hour (or more) later and inspect my pile of broken-down cardboard. I had no idea if I was allowed to let people have them or not.
Once I ignored them and took a bunch of large cereal box boxes to the baler, and some mutant woman started shriekin in my face about MUH BOXES until someone came over and made her fuck off

I work at a Deli and old people are pure cancer.
>I want wheat bread for my sub
>Okay
>No not that one I want one without wrinkles
>???????
>Sorry sir but all of the wheat breads have wrinkles on them (of course)
>Oh can you make some more?
>No the bakery makes the bread and it'll take them hours before we get the next batch
>So you're telling me you aren't going to make my sandwich?
>I can just not with wheat bread
>I want to speak to a manager
Don't even get me fucking started on people telling you to change your gloves. There's a black woman who comes in with her five kids and it takes twenty minutes to get her order done because she has you change your gloves every time you touch a vegetable.

It's just phone posters that complain about 'reddit spacing'

>wanting to stifle a fellow man's freedom of expression
HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wow you are a massive faggot

I swear they use them to make hives or some shit.

At

least

I'm

not

some

kind

of

control

freak

piece

of

shit

kike

faggot

>When customers complain to you about another customer using a vape pen because "It's making me cough"

I'm sorry I'm ignorant, are crackheads into beekeeping for some reason?

They build nests to spawn more crackheads.

>When a customer's child is screeching for like a minute straight and the parent is just standing there on their phone doing nothing
>Another customer is visibly aggravated and turns to the parent
>"Oh no"
>The customer tells the parent to do something about their child screaming
>HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH YOU SHOULD SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY FACE FUCK YOU etc.

>people telling you to change your gloves
Man, I worked at Ingles (white trash grocery store) deli and people were so autistic about this. One old dyke woman had me prepare a sandwich, then as I was wrapping it up after applying some vinegar, she freaked the fuck out and said a bunch of shit like "OH MY GOOOOD HOW CAN YOU USE THE SAME GLOVES YOU JUST TOUCHED THE BOTTLE WITH, THINK HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE TOUCHED THAT, OH MY GOOOOOD, I AM *NOT* PAYING FOR THAT" and walked away.
Bitch if you knew the levels of cross-contamination that the retards in this deli caused, you wouldn't step foot in this grocery store.

The best part is when the customer behind them tells you they're sorry you have to deal with that shit.

as a customer, never had any problems I can remember
as an employee, I feel like I'm the only one that cleans anything that's not obvious, e.g. dispensers, and some things that are obvious, e.g. sinks
relatedly, how do people get shit on the bottom of the toilet seat? seriously, it is a mystery to me
also recycling, it stinks just as much as the trash

Not grocery related but I guess it counts.
>When a customer gets their credit card stuck in the receipt printer, that is labeled in bold "RECEIPT"
>And after getting it fished out by me, does the exact same thing right in front of me.

Shit, forgot to mention it was at a gas station.

hey, fuck you, lots of old people probably come through that store, you almost have to scream at some of them to be heard, and it's your job as a bagger (at least where I work) to ask if they want paper or plastic and if they have any special bagging requirements and if they want help carrying their groceries out
even being loud at least 1/4 of the customers don't hear me, it's insane

>When you hear an emergency page on the overhead and instead of someone slipping and falling on something it's two gangbangers stabbing each other in an isle.

>When your manager is forced to give the entire department a lecture on safety because a customer let their child run into the side of a table and the incident was held against the store by corporate.
Fucking Publix.

Boomers need to die, it's that simple

i only go at like 3-5 am to avoid all the customers. the store is always empty and stocked and all the workers keep to themselves except this one fucking buck tooth bitch whos ALWAYS hanging around self check out. i fucking never initiate conversations with you, i actively avoid your section and whenever you goddamn speak to me the most you get in reponse is a monosyllabic grunt. im down right rude to the girl. why does she keep fucking talking to me i dont even look good. i wear earbuds now and she still tries to flag me down.

>People who change their minds about an item and leave it behind in an unrelated section. It's even worse when it's a perishable, like a package of ground beef abandoned in the canned foods aisle
>People who leave their coffee cups on shelves
as someone who works in a grocery store, these, but I usually just leave them because fuck it, the stockers and merchandise checkers will come by in a few hours, they'll notice it
cold stuff gets put away right away though
>Parents who can't control their dumbass children and won't make even the slightest attempt to correct their obnoxious behavior
HOW HARD IS IT TO TELL YOUR KID THEY CAN'T RIDE IN THE CART AT AGE 8, LET ALONE STAND UP IN IT?
one of these days some side-cut fucking rugrat is going to crack their skull open on the tiles and their mom will sue the store (and they won't get a fucking dime but at least half the people working the front will feel bad anyway), and if it wasn't kids doing it I would laugh, but kids are fucking stupid, that's they have to have parents
>People who tell that tired old "It must be free!" joke when an item doesn't properly scan at the register
I wish I had the leeway, just for one day, to tell them
I wouldn't even be mean about it, I'd say "sir, I hear that joke at least twice a week"

Give me the dick already you asshole

I'm not one to complain about employee-customer interactions, but this weirded me out in the way you realize that the situation is something you've always heard of but never experienced.
>Go to deli for sandwich meats
>Lady looks at me and lets out a loud sigh
>"Whaddaya want?"
>"Uh, can I get a pound of roast beef and a pound of pepperjack cheese?"
>Lady rolls her eyes
>whatdididowrong.jpg
>slices up stuff
>basically tosses it on a scale to check weight
>mfw 1.7 something pounds
>dafuck like hell I'm paying for that shit
>Lady pulls up everything until scale says 1.0 pounds
>Prints out price label
>Slaps extra back on
>Leaves finished package on the counter
>Doesn't even say anything before leaving
Guess it was near closing time or something. Didn't really bother me and I got extra meat out of that exchange, but it was weird seeing an employee being rude.

I do that too when the store is about close, I'm going to throw that shit out anyway, although I'm not so incompetent I cut almost double what the customer wanted lol. Also what you did wrong was give someone who didn't want to work something to do.

>Butcher in meat department who refuses or acts shitty about custom cuts
>Poorly managed college kids acting pouty cause they dont get off for another hour and need an adderall or something
>people who do not pre swipe their card for payment. You can swipe and enter pin well before transaction complete and most places
>places like whole foods where you feel like you need to be -->yay cool enough to purchase or discuss anything.

>places where shopping is not a pleasure. Pic related.

>grocery store has a bunch of autistic kids running around wanting their mom to buy them some slop
>overpriced plastic stuff to attract kiddies
>4 spanish moms, 4 dads, 20 kids, 3 cousins, and a grandpa blocking the aisle
>something is on sale but lazy employees (Cant blame) didnt take the tag off
>carts in parking lot when theres a cart coral 5 steps away
>person in front of you at checkout takes 20 years because they absolutely have to strike up a conversation about the bagging lady's kids
>boy scouts at the front door selling candy bars trying to peddle me into buying their slop
>football kids selling candy bars trying to peddle me into buying their slop
>loud baby screaming with mother who doesnt know how to shut it up and looks awkwardly at everyone around them trying to shut it up
This is why I like going to the Aldi, none of this shit happens there and it's cheaper and takes less time to go through

any relation to Bob Loblaw, of law blog fame?

Simple user, if a person projects what they're pretending to be, in this case the old lady wants to pretend she doesn't care, so when you mirror her you're basically becoming her own personal version of an uncaring asshole

lmao if you knew how shitty it is to work for Publix and how they actively fuck over the retarded highschoolers that work there you'd know why everyone has an awful attitude.

She's bored user, it's not beacuse she likes you. Litterly say "leave me alone please" when she doesn't tell a manager a couple times of that and she's fired

Good. Get rekt little shits. You get back to work. Daddy needs tendies.

Cringe. How's 45k a year treating you pops?

Don't work there anymore, so I won't be getting back to work on your tendies.

120k, chef @ wendy's.

>double bag

thank fucking god california passed a law where they have to charge for bags now.
I havent heard anyone ask for double bags all year and its fucking great.

>Wendy's
Ah, former felon?

Yeah, but you still have to live in California.

>Baby Boomer with a trillion coupons. Finagling over prices that don't look to add up to said coupons. Each of these little rituals take up five minutes or more.

>Then they fill out a fucking check.

And everything is done like a 'FUCK YOU, you are going to be stuck behind me in the lane of life as I coast along at 15mph'. I am so glad horrific retirement homes are waiting for these people :D

I'm kind of glad the plastic free bags are illegal here now because at this stageinmylife I realize I want my shitbagged a certain way. My biggest pet peeve was actually one store in particular that would literally put every single item in a different bag. Like if I bought 5 things I am not exaggerating there would be 4 bags. I asked once, and they said that people would always itch about their stuff being smushed.

>"Please scan item"
>"Place item in bagging area"
>"Unexpected item in bagging area"

Shopping with friends can be a hassle, too. This guy is the type of person who ain't bad to hang out with, but kind of sucks to live with.
>Fridge is empty
>Time to make grocery run
>"oh hey, I need a ride to the post office, can I come with you?"
>It's on the way, so sure, why not
>Gets in store
>"Buy snacks. Why won't you buy juice? Go get ice cream. I want a different cream cheese flavor, why won't you get one?"
>Bitch, it's called budgeting
>Get what you need, forget about the rest
>Keeps whining like a kid instead of the graduating college senior he is
>w/e just ignore him
>Get to checkout
>Bill is around $90
>Not bad for about a week of feeding four people under the same roof
>Pay it and get roommates to write check later to pay their share of groceries
>Been a while since they've paid cuz I never got around to tabulating the bill
>Three months worth of food totals $250 for each person
>Roommate sees bill
>Throws tantrum
>"Why the fuck is it so much!? Are you charging me extra?!"
>Literally have a shared google sheets with all the numbers in it
>"Whatever, you probably just suck at buying stuff! My mom only shops every two weeks and spends $70-$80 each time!"
>mfw
>listenupboi.jpg
>"So your family of four back at home spends $160 every month?"
>"Yeah, we always spend that much!"
>"So assuming a four week month, you can get by every week with $10 for food?"
>He starts hesitating
>"Whatever man, I'm not the one who gets food for my family anyway, but we totally spend that much"
>what a fucking idiot
>never takes care of anything so he has no idea of basic household skills
>"Then do you want to be the one who shops for groceries next time?"
>Starts making up excuses like having no time to go out and stuff
>Still plays some racing game in his room every night
>baka

Dude, sometimes literally anything you do during a tantrum only escalates the situation. I generally will take the kid outside, but sometimes, you got to let them scream for a couple minutes. I have two, and in a restaurant I will drag them outside immediately, and they know I mean business. But in Target, it's going to take me longer to get to the door than it is going to take the kid to realize they're not getting what they want and shut up.

And sometimes you're buying milk or formula, or fruit squeezes or whatever, and if you don't make it through the check-out, there's gonna be a lot more screaming.

1 in 100 people at most still write checks at the store

I did see one boss of a dad stop his daughter's tantrum instantly.

She was kicking and screaming on the floor and dad walked right over, laid down on the floor next to her and started imitating her tantrum. The kid looked over and stood up in a damned hurry.

Her whole I'm the center of attention thing was hijacked by 'See, this is what you look like!'

Yeah, I saw a kid with his mom picking up some pizza, and the tantrum escalation was weirdly measurable. Like, the kid was complaining about the toppings and his mom told him that they couldn't change the order, and he just kept getting more and more distressed when he realized nothing was changing. Went from whining to full crying in three minutes

I had someone complain because I didn't put their raw meat in the same bag as their veggies once.

>People who tell that tired old "It must be free!" joke when an item doesn't properly scan at the register

Holy shit this. This is what working at Hy-Vee is like if you've ever wondered.

There is just that age range from about one and a half until 3, sometimes 4, where for the tantrums sometimes there is LITERALLY nothing you can do to deescalate the situation. In a restaurant it's different, I yank them out the front door so fast, and they know I am not fucking around. People are enjoying their meal, no one wants to hear that. A grocery store is different, everyone needs groceries.

When I hear a baby crying I think
>oh, poor little baby
But when I hear a todidler crying, I think
>stay strong, parent!! Don't give in!! Fucking suffer, you little shit!!