Non-foods thread

besides the shits, was olestra ok? i was around in the 90s, but i'm not sure if i ever tried it

No it was outlawed for some reason.

It wasn't outlawed. Companies simply stopped using it because the FDA correctly concluded that Americans were too stupid to realize the potential for abuse by consumers themselves.

Typically, Olestra would prevent the absorption of fats in your body and pass them somewhat safely through your stool. What they didn't expect is people eating high fat diets and eating foods with Olestra in them, which would make your stools so greasy you'd get diahrrea or have greasy shafts. Couple this with people think in they could eat more unhealthy Olestra-filled foods because of this and companies just stopped after consumers got upset over a product working as intended.

tl;dr Fatties ate Olestra thinking it was a miracle substitute but misunderstood what it did and complained when it made their bodies unexpectedly expell the fat in their food through their poop chute.

Who the fuck buys something like that? What possible appeal is there? I'm assuming this garbage is stacked on the shelf right next to peanut butter?

>What possible appeal is there?
If you love peanut butter but you're a fatty mcfat-fat and you want to lose weight?

A generous serve of peanut butter would be like 150 calories.
I'm all for making healthy substitutions to unhealthy foods but this one is just retarded. If you're that fat there are worse things than peanut butter in your diet or your some landwhale that eats half a jar at a time in which case you should eat a bullet before a synthetic peanut butter.

A single tablespoon of peanut butter is 100 calories. 150 calories worth is not "a generous serving", it's very little.

Anyway, I agree that you're right there are better subs to make, but I was just answering the question you posed.

The syrup is pretty much the only Walden farms thing I'll ever buy, everything else is a little too sketchy for me.

*Contains Trace Calories

>tfw greasy shaft

I tried that once. Just once. Hurt to waste a whole jar of...an edible.

When I was at my worst (eating disorder) a year and a half ago I'd only eat lettuce and rice w Walden farms. Cleaned me out so bad my shit 90% was just straight up water and some weird clear white gellish stuff

...

I just realised this doesn't say 'cheese' anywhere on the bag.

The guy who gets paid to make up these names makes more than me, and that makes me sad.

Olestra was fucking awesome, I'm still pissed off about it disappearing.
I have a very tightly sealed asshole that opens only when I voluntarily release. Loose stools were never once a problem, and I loved the salad-dressing look of the oil floating in the toilet bowl.
So the product got pulled from all commercial products because of the weak population, but can I still buy the pure oil? I used to buy it in the form of chips, Pringles etc but I would gladly incorporate the pure oil into my own recipes.

I hate this shit. My grandmother used to buy it and it just is not cheese. It doesnt taste like cheese or act like it

>now melts
like fuck it does

There's a weight loss pill called Alli which works on the same concept as Olestra. It makes it so you don't metabolize fat so you just poop it all out. Sounds good right? But it makes every poop into an orange greasy nightmare. No amount of pooping makes you feel clean, you have to shower after every movement.

>I have a very tightly sealed asshole that opens only when I voluntarily release.
Lucky you.

On the bag it says Keep Refrigerated, but if it doesn't melt, what will happen if you leave it out?

It starts to revert to it's natural oil form and becomes extremely greasy and even more gross.

As a fellow American, I'm seriously disappointed that you faggots down own a bidet.

I mean, if you got mud on your hands, would you wipe it off with a rag and call it clean? Now try that metaphor with literal shit.

>now melts

wtf did it do before?

>I mean, if you got mud on your hands, would you wipe it off with a rag and call it clean? Now try that metaphor with literal shit.

Some next level shit going on here

bubbled up and burned. You know that picture of slice cheese on a pizza that looked like the plastic was still on it when it was shoved in the microwave?

Same non-cheese shit

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that really is quite unreal

For what purpose?
It's got the same macros as actual sour cream.

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Not an argument, you can use a bidet and wipe with toilet paper and wash your hands afterwards.
But probably you enjoy the feeling of shit between your fat ass cheeks.

kek

saved

Walden Farms is the worst, I don't buy any of their products but not because they're bad, but because I work in grocery. The boxes these shitty things get shipped in are complete garbage. There is no way of opening them without the boxflaps tearing into small pieces as you pull them open. Makes me irrationally angry

>some hotel buffets use these

Almost every one I worked for used some version of this on breakfast buffets.

It was like jelly. Absolute disgust.

Isn't it just eggs already cracked for you?

cracked, scrampled and bottled

they also recommend you wear dark clothing and bring an extra change of clothes with you when you are taking it....

and also has dairy. i dont get it either

Its not scrambled it's basically mixed eggs with preservatives.

so scrambled with preservatives

>Natural Roasted Peanut Flavor

fucking lol

>
>I just realised this doesn't say 'cheese' anywhere on the bag.
That's true.
I'm pretty sure it doesn't have anything to do with cheese except for the appearance.

>The guy who gets paid to make up these names makes more than me
They're probably lawyers.

>and wash your hands afterwards.
Washing your hands with soap and water doesn't sterilize them, you're still going to have bacteria on them from touching your butthole after using the bathroom and washing with soap and water. The best thing to do would be to use a wet wipe so there's no direct contact with your hand.

My point being, you don't have to touch your ass at all, even if you use a bidet. Just use enough pressure to remove shit then wipe with toilet paper and voila.

i too vouch for this

>weird clear white gellish stuff

That would be mucus

These things are so fucking hard they're like chewing on fine gravel. What's so hard about frying bacon to a light crisp and either chopping it or ripping it up into small bits?

they aren't bacon, they are bacon flavored soy protein nuggets

what are these even supposed to be used for?
this is baffling as well, considering real sour cream is pretty cheap already

bacon crumbs are for salads
I've grown accustomed to the taste, they really arent that bad

...

wanna bet that tastes fucking nothing like egg?

This is mostly just real egg and an acid introduced to prevent the kernels from turning green.

Bidets always leave me with a leaky ass a few hours later.

My mom tried to make a pizza with this shit. It just sat there looking like someone grates up a plastic bag.

This bullshit. You're not chocolate you piece of shit liar.

what is this? white chocolate? cocoa butter?

user it just doesn't have any nibs in it, its still made with cocoa butter.

Gross

I wonder what kind of vegetable fibre is in that peanut butter? It most likely is ground up newspaper, but it might be prebiotic or resistant starch which your body cannot digest but once it reaches the large intestine it feeds your gut bacteria.
Here is something like that that I used to eat everyday that has almost zero calories because is it made of glucomannan which is we can't digest but is a prebiotic. So in human terms it is a non-food, but does feed our bacteria which then in turn feed us. Eaten alone, it is like chewing on wet plastic fake food. But douse it in soy sauce, fuyu, tomato sauce, or whatever you want, it's not bad.

Oh boy. Here we go.

What?