I smoked a joint with at my friends wedding right after my graduation

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

I smoked a joint with at my friends wedding right after my graduation.. Now out of nowhere, this company with my perfect job is asking for an interview, and i'm positive they do drug tests.

I don't have time to detox, if they goes somewhere, because they are moving fast. Any ideas or methods how to pass the screening, or am I just boned?

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All urls found in this thread:

hightimes.com/health/long-thc-stay-urine/

Booteefool
Booteefool

buy fake piss

King_Martha
King_Martha

But, I hear that they measure the temperature of the piss right after you piss. Should I use hand warmers or some gel pad that retains heat around ~98 degrees F?

fuuuck why does marijuana have such half life.

Spamalot
Spamalot

stop being a junkie

girlDog
girlDog

When they ask, "How soon can you start?" make up a bullshit family situation that gives you adequate time to detox.

And stop smoking kiddie drugs. You're an adult, now.

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Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

I shared one joint with a friend you dumb faggot.

Stop being a virgin.

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takes2long
takes2long

in America you have to share sensitive medical data with employers to get a job
Never ceases to amaze me.

w8t4u
w8t4u

Marijuana smokers need to be taken out and beaten in the street. How have we got to the point where we treat this disgusting drug as "recreational lmao"? Soiceity is constantly degenerating it won't be long until you can marry your pet dog.

massdebater
massdebater

no one cares what you think.

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iluvmen
iluvmen

Could have just said no, or are you maybe too feeble-minded to assert your will and really need to fit in with your junkie mates?

Inmate
Inmate

You could of been more hindsight.

idontknow
idontknow

well that sucks, you could always tell them in all honesty, maybe they wait for you to detox.

Marijuana smokers need to be taken out and beaten in the street
try it you fucking faggot you will see that not all of them are pacifistic hippies. what I do in my spare time should not be of societies business if I inflict no harm on my surroundings.

america land of the free my ass

likme
likme

I dont smoke to fit in, I smoke to get high. Are you 12?

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

you only do drugs to escape reality because you're weak and can't face up to it, that's why i despise you junkies

hairygrape
hairygrape

That's what I'm considering. I think honesty is the best thing.

fitting in.

Why does everyone think I was peer'd pressured into enjoying a simple joint with long time friends?

It's like you guys are insecure introverts.

Snarelure
Snarelure

so I escape reality when I smoke a joint at 9pm when I'm done with work and study, to enjoy my food and video game just a little bit more?

lol you have no idea about life man to people like you everything is either/or, sad existence.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

videogames as well, what a sad existence indeed.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

you are arguing with a stranger on Veeky Forums, what is your excuse you loser?

whereismyname
whereismyname

touched a nerve didn't i? this thread belongs on /r9k/ btw

Supergrass
Supergrass

Find a friend with clean urin. Ask him to piss in a small bottle, like max 0,2. Connect a small tube to the bottle. Tape the bottle unter your armpit and the other end of the tube to your dick. The piss will be warm, because it's under your armpit, to piss you just have to put your arm closer to your body.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

Put bag of clean piss in your underwear.

Or, be a fucking in man and straight up tell them you don't even want to work for a company that goes Nazi on their employees. Fuck that.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

You could tell them when it comes to doing it and say "look, in three months you can test me again and I'll be clean".

Spamalot
Spamalot

if you only smoked one small joint one time it won't take a lot to get it out of your system.

girlDog
girlDog

in Europe you're allowed to be fucking awful at your job yet you're not allowed to be fired for being shit
you're literally not allowed, as an employer, to fire someone in many parts of Europe simply because they are simply shit at their jobs
never ceases to amaze me.

Playboyize
Playboyize

itt satan discover the people power

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Techpill
Techpill

What fantasy novel have you been reading?

Methnerd
Methnerd

You don't pass the test, you don't deserve the job. Should've thought ahead, faggot.

Emberfire
Emberfire

Stfu

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

Before you take the test, drink A LOT of water. You should be pissing clear water before you take it. The idea is to dilute it so much that they cannot perceive any evidence of drug use because the concentration is so small.

This will work unless you're a fatass or you're lying about how much you smoke.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

lmao just tell them weed is good they fucking know it

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

I agree with this gentleman. He’s totally right. It’s needed to think in advance about the consequences of what you are about to do. Although yeah I’ve done some shit in my life which has still harsh consequences. So I learnt this by myself.

5mileys
5mileys

I worked for amazon user and their drug tests aren’t urine based. They swab your cheeks and those tests are apparently more reliable

Maybe take that kind of test into consideration

w8t4u
w8t4u

A lot of companies don't care about weed, but it dpends.

iluvmen
iluvmen

You have to realize that drug usage is much more of a problem in America and more widespread, and people don't want to hire fuckups who manage to look presentable for interview day

idontknow
idontknow

Or, be a fucking in man and straight up tell them you don't even want to work for a company that goes Nazi on their employees. Fuck that.
fucking lol. you stonerfags are a riot.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

go suck off jesus

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

Most likely, the company would still hire you if it's just weed.

But you can masturbate before the test and the semen will fuck it up.

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

lel

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

Ironically Jesus is in the same category as weed or alcohol

Supergrass
Supergrass

This, do fentanyl, it won't show even on opioids tests

Lunatick
Lunatick

Get really really drunk the night before your drug test, and the only thing that will show up is the liquor which is legal and they can't fire you for.

King_Martha
King_Martha

If you are not a pothead and you only smoked one joint, hydration should flush all traces within 3 days.

Soft_member
Soft_member

Isn't it funny that the most dangerous thing about
weed is getting caught with it?

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

Underage b&

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

Sounds a lot less distopian Satan.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

Go be a normalfag somewhere else.

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

Veeky Forums - Career Advice and Employment

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

It's a indivual interview or a grupal one? Did they already tell you when they want to see you? If it is an individual one you could say something like oh that day is my cousin's wedding and he lives in *some place really, really far* an if they are interested in you maybe can move the interview and you got enlightenment time to detox.

girlDog
girlDog

It's a indivual interview or a grupal one? Did they already tell you when they want to see you? If it is an individual one you could say something like oh that day is my cousin's wedding and he lives in *some place really, really far* an if they are interested in you maybe can move the interview and you got enlightenment time to detox.

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

drink a fuck ton of water and piss a diluted sample

I know people in the military that have gotten away with diluted samples

w8t4u
w8t4u

Is this bait?

iluvmen
iluvmen

They're not going to piss test you at the interview. They're going to have you schedule one with within a window, probably 4-7 days. For single marijuana use you have nothing to worry about. Even if it comes out positive, you can probably request a retest (though you may have to pay for it), which buys you another week or so.

Drug testing is less about checking whether you've ever done drugs and more about making sure you're not actively using.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

If this is the case, a shit ton of mouthwash will do the trick. Just sont smoke anymore, OP.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

My friend used to do heroine and he actually managed to pass drug tests by drinking a mixture of water and Fruit Pectin

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

Veeky Forums is not a safespace for 'my mom told me drugs are BAD' virgins

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

I do drugs to spite my mum. Eheh such badass, much pussy

Methnerd
Methnerd

enough*

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

the product is called quick fix it comes with heating instructions

if you can't figure out how to beat this test you're a tard

Emberburn
Emberburn

You sound like a dumbass.

waiting on job offer
take drugs

They deserve better

WebTool
WebTool

testperson pulls colored stripe out the piss jar
you are pregnant

RumChicken
RumChicken

Just take the test you faggot, it's legal in some states.

If they really want to fire you for doing legal things in your spare time, they can go fuck themselves.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

honestly I'd hire a pothead if he are productive, the lazy stoner clichee is from the past.

I'd also hire drunks if they are productive and are not violent.

but I have a big problem with cokeheads. that shit does something horrible to peoples character.

also people on antidepressants would be monitored thoroughly because tho mood swings are super rare when they come they are borderline

maybe its for the better i dont own a company

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

One joint once will not take long to get out of your system, at least enough that a piss test would miss it. A week, two at the most. The hair test will take longer to beat.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

If they dont watch you there is a whole multitude of ways to pass.
From using someone elses urine to buying synthetic urine, you have plenty of options.

If they DO monitor to make sure its your piss, uncommon outside of legal troubles, you will have to clean ypur system as best as possible.

The key words are DETOX and DILUTE.

Are you still here OP? I deal with these types of situations and have done so for years. How much time do you have and what do you weigh?

5mileys
5mileys

I have a friend who works at a testing centre and she’s always told me these retarded stories of how people would try to pass the test. We have a drug problem in town, so it’s fairly common. Anyways, my favourite ones are always the ones where the guys try their best to figure out how to keep the piss warm, the funniest being a guy who wore snow pants to try and conceal a fucking coffee thermos that he eventually spilt all over himself. Just don’t bother cheating, it rarely works out in your favour and the people there are knowledgeable about all those faking kits they sell anyways. Be honest about your drug habits.

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

if OP listens to your retardation he deserves what he gets

Evilember
Evilember

I'm not even a drug user, but you're acting like a fucking 14yo

Flameblow
Flameblow

It's technically still against federal law.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

Dilute your urine, sounds like you didn't smoke too much. Just make sure that you're really hydrated and as long as your pee is coming out clear you have less chance of popping positive. There are other factors that play into it as well, s THC and its metabolites can be stored in the body's fat cells for longer periods of time. Exercise in the breakdown of fat can actually cause these cells to release that THC and show up in your urine, so chill out before any test.

eGremlin
eGremlin

1. Buy clean urine. Make sure it's not from a pregnant female.
2. Put clean urine in a test tube with a string.
3. Shove it up your ass 48 hours before the test.
4. During the test, pull the tube out by the string, uncork/unscrew it, and use.
5. Profit!

The only question is, do you want the job enough to walk around with another man's piss up your ass for 2 days?

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

druggies with drug problems asking Veeky Forums for advice on said drug problems

GTFO

Methshot
Methshot

One joint won’t show up on a urine test, just drink lots of cranberry juice.

Skullbone
Skullbone

they go fuck themselves
hire a better non degenerate employee
you're still jobless and lost "your perfect job" for a joint
dude weed lmao

RavySnake
RavySnake

How so?

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

This is literally the only post you need to read in the whole thread.

If it was one joint and you don't normally smoke, and you're being tested a week later, you have basically nothing to worry about.

Get a lot of exercise. Eat a lot, especially fatty and oily foods, and foods with lots of fiber. THC metabolites primarily clear via your shit and not your piss (because it's polar). Drink a whole bottle of water before you go in. If you have any reservations, piss test yourself with a home test kit that you can buy at CVS. If you fail that, figure out some excuse to postpone the test for a few days.

Flameblow
Flameblow

THC metabolites are stored in your fat, so anything you can do to burn fat and make yourself shit will help with the detox.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

perfect job
tests for marijuana
hmmm

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5mileys
5mileys

it was a ''huge sick blunt''

WebTool
WebTool

people power

Also known as "Third World economies".

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BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

pot addict here.
I took my straight edge brother eith me, he pissed into a bottle 5 minutes prior in the car, and I filled a syringe with it.
Wore cotton longbottoms underneath to retain warmth.

farquit
farquit

This. DESU with only one joint you likely won't even fail the test. But do this. And make sure you are not taking the first piss of the day into the sample cup.

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

if you aren't a regular smoker your piss results will be nil after a few days.

wake up for drug test
take morning piss
drink lots of coffee
piss a lot
eat food that contains carbs and sugar
take some pre-workout + creatine
drink water and piss for a few hours
piss clean
don't overdoo it, your piss should still be light yellow.

TreeEater
TreeEater

TFW when you live in a society where a private entity is allowed to deny you opportunities based on your insulated choices in your private life.
Truly the land of the free

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Emberburn
Emberburn

you should abstain from voting as well

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

I never smoked weed. How does it feel like?

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

feels like you are constant state of intense daydreaming.

physical side effects are loss of some control of fine motorics (limbs go soft, eyelids fall down) but you can concentrate to regain control.
also increased heartrate depending on strand and way of ingestion.

psychical side effects are inability to focus thoughts, and very VERY vivid memories! (if you have something bottled up inside it will come out if you're alone and high, I can imagine this leading to mental disorders)

appetite is stimulated and nausea completely vanishes (this the really amazing medical property imho) and sleep is very deep (but you will NOT dream or remember your dreams)

If you have no previous experience with drugs I'd recommend you to stay sober for the rest of your life because you are not really missing out anything.

you can live a positive, happy and enlightened life without drugs but some people need to have taken them once to open their minds and see the bigger picture.

If you are already a druggie it's the least damaging one but that doesn't mean it's healthy.

but in all honesty, I have never experienced a stronger anti-nauseating effect from other medicaments

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

48 hours before the test
Why

Booteefool
Booteefool

do fentanyl
Warning to anyone thinking about doing this.
The line between life and death are so minimal that is not even funny,either you get the dosage right the first time or you die instantly.

Methnerd
Methnerd

THC is stored in fat cells
when the fat is burned the thc is metabolized
drug tests test for the presence of thc metabolites.

suggestions
1. Burn as much fat as you possibly can with out being fatal (that one drug that /fit/ talked about that increases metabolism--ended up killing some girl and some other guy)
2. Immediately start making new fat cells.
---this process also in ovles sweating and replacing water and electrolytes in your system.

fake pee

not- your- pee stored in a condom/ballon and shoved up your butt to maintain temp.
if girl you can hide condom in vag.

only places that actually watch you take your pee test, are fed/government job including military, and when you are in prison/parole/probation

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

I've never done X
I've done A, B, C though
How does it feel like

When you ask it like this you assume it is comparable to something you've experienced before. No it's a new experience. Go try it.

Of course I can mention some of the effects you might feel, but I can't explain the most important effect you going to have
mouth becomes dry
you want to eat so much food and sweets
things seem very funny, you laugh at weird things
time passes more slowly
you sometimes find yourself intensively focusing on something very simple like opening a candy bar
sometimes you feel you get epic ideas (but if you write them down and read them later, they arent good)

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

Veeky Forums is populated by easily aggravated stoners
explains a lot, really

RumChicken
RumChicken

A good indication as a rule of thumb that something is dumb and not worth your time is when you tell people that this thing they're doing is silly they get upset and start hurling names at you (virgin, underage, you just don't get duuude). Pothead really have a gigantic chip on their shoulder regarding their addiction

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

getting the fuck flu messes with the standard urine test for pot
try getting pozzed as soon as possible
grindr might be your best bet

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

If you really want to pass, it's easy. buy a catheter and a large syringe. Take a piss as you would normally do. Insert catheter. Use syringe to fill your bladder with clean piss. Go to drug test location. Piss out clean, warm piss directly from your cock. The levels of drugs will be low enough to be seen as natural variances

Snarelure
Snarelure

Just don't take pills pressed by Mexicans or blacks, where you never now if a pill contains 100 ug or 4 mg and you will be fine

Emberfire
Emberfire

This thread explains why there are so many IQ threads and /x/ crossposters.

Firespawn
Firespawn

Just say you smoked weed in a legal state.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

That's what I'm considering. I think honesty is the best thing.

Read and understand their drug policy before doing this. Honesty may be the worst thing you could do in this situation.

Yes, but that does not matter -- this is not a law enforcement situation, it is an employment situation. If their policy is "no weed," then whether weed is legal is not part of the discussion.

Snarelure
Snarelure

jews told me drugs are bad

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LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

You can get someone you know who is ckean and not preganant to piss in a cup less than 24 hours before the druf test then tape it to the inner part of your thigh easily. If its more than two weeks and you dont normally smaome you are likely fine anyway, if the time is that limited or more drink lots of tea, make sure you are peeing alot and its relatively clear, not dark in color.

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

Strap it to the inner part of your thigh, leave it there for a long time. It will be close enough .

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

someone you know who is ckean
Good luck with that shlomo

TechHater
TechHater

That's what you get for being a faggot.

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

People smoking weed is wrong, i say so, soon people will fuck dogs
Stay mad

JunkTop
JunkTop

drug r baed

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

projecting
Your life must be sad.

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

See
Like fuck, im sure people in the testing centers see retarded shit all the time butt i have passed multiple piss tests using fake urine easily and broadly speaking i hear the same from those that try.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

48 hours
Way too long, sample is useless, trying to troll i imagine?

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

they're not bad they're retarded just like you

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

accuses of projecting while projecting himself
How am I projecting, explain?

5mileys
5mileys

you only do drugs to escape reality because you're weak and can't face up to it, that's why i despise you junkies
not projecting
Pick one user.

iluvmen
iluvmen

drugs are not bad
drugs are retarded
Are you a product of incest?

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

How am I projecting, I don't drugs you fathead. You on the other hand, being all rustled by an offhand comment, are.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

what big word has gotten your head spinning junkie? is it retarded?

Emberfire
Emberfire

Coffee?
Alcohol?
Sugar?

Playboyize
Playboyize

Where are Veeky Forums and anime?

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

I’ve been here. If this is the first joint you had in the last month and you have even a week before the test, you’ll be fine

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

Veeky Forums getting triggered this hard
dude weed is cool lmao

Skullbone
Skullbone

The part about the fed/gov job isn't always true. I work for the DoD and know many people who work at different sites and nobody I've talked to ever got drug tested. That's on the civilian side though, I'm guessing it's different if you are actually in the military

Try and stall. If you aren't a regular smoker it will be out of your urine in about a week, try and give it two to be safe: hightimes.com/health/long-thc-stay-urine/

They won't drug test you after the interview, it will probably be a while after they extend the offer and you accept and all that. So just don't smoke for a while and you're fine.

RumChicken
RumChicken

It's not like they're going to ask you to piss in a cup at your interview user, unless that's one of the skills you need to demonstrate in your new role. By the time they get round to offering you the job chances are it will have got out of your system. Cranberry juice is meant to strip signs of THC from urine, don't know if that's just a meme though.

cum2soon
cum2soon

this

takes2long
takes2long

this

DeathDog
DeathDog

smoking pot every now and then is fine, but video games? Cmon, kill yourself fagot

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

wanting quality employees makes you a Nazi
Better yet, tell the company you don't deserve to work for them.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

potheads are also /pol/-tards
Who would have thunk

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Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

They dont take a solid stance, some are losers pot heads and some are just religous losers who think weed is the devil, they both claim that you think the way you do becuase jews though.

King_Martha
King_Martha

Is that antidepressant thing true? Because I use to take them and once in a great while I would seriously lose my shit like psycho level shit like scream at my parents and punch holes in walls. I dont do that anymore though

Methnerd
Methnerd

Drink water, and exercise. If you're paranoid buy test pure platinum magnum force. Ive used it twice and it works well.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

Unless that job is either
A. Urinal cleaner (get tested, peon)
B. Reactor Operator (e.g. bad things happen if high workers)
C. Classified .gov work (compromising)

They have no right to pry into your private life, ergo it's a shit job. I don't do drugs, but I would never apply for a white collar position that insults workers that way out of principle.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

to enjoy my food and video game just a little bit more?
Yes. That is a prime example of pure escapism. You couldn't have illustrated it better.

MPmaster
MPmaster

Doing drugs is the definition of normalfag, cunt.

girlDog
girlDog

This. Start drinking so much water that you have to piss every 15 minutes or so. Supplement with a vitamin B12 complex and creatine. Lots of labs check metabolized creatine in urine samples to verify its actually urine. The longer you do this the better. Worked for me when I was in.

TechHater
TechHater

If it's only a piss test that exercise a lot because thc is fat soluble. If you only smoked one joint then it should be out of your system enough to pass a piss test in a few days. Even frequent smokers usually get it out after 9-17 days, and max of a month or two for the heaviest smokers. Hope you're not a lard ass, then you may be in trouble. Make any excuse you can to put it off like that you're sick or you have to go to a funeral. That hsould buy you enough time. Keep in mind some thc can be detected with you still passing the test

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

If you don't smoke regularly and aren't fat/good metabolism, it should be out of your system within a week-10 days. Some people report eating fat will help, with a lot of fluid intake. Don't remember if exercise hurts or helps. Look into supplements that may help and try out an at home drug test.

Hard mode: they measure 3x the amount of pee sample they actually need. Score some clean, male pee. You'll need about 60 ml. Buy a travel sized bottle of shampoo and flush it completely out. Keep it air tight with some kind of tape. It needs to be room temp, so put a thermometer in your sock. Before the test, keep the pee inside a closed cup of coffee, which will heat it up. Then put it against your taint. It should come out around 100+ degrees, just stir it or blow it until it's normal temp. You're fucked if you're monitored though. They do make flake bladders but I've never tried that.

For all you know, it might just be a cotton swab test, which is easy to pass. My friend has passed a day after smoking. A hair test you will fail, but that's usually for convicts/high profile jobs.

whereismyname
whereismyname

autism is its own drug so you're good m8

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

Turkey baster filled with piss in dickhole, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

Virgin wow
Fuck you

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

all these pot addicts getting mad at a perfectly valid critique

Booteefool
Booteefool

That’s what these people don’t get.
Muh afterlife, muhrijuana and muethanol are all massively individually and socially harmful

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

abstaining from reality escape mechanisms is normalfaggotry
Oh man you really bought the buying drugs from the CIA is rebellion meme

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

Pretty much exactly fucking retard. A PRIVATE entity you mong. If they dont wanna give you a job because in the morning you piss whilst sitting down then they have every right to do so.
Fucking hell why do europeans know nothing of economical liberalism

RavySnake
RavySnake

enjoy a glass of wine or two in the evening
functional for work and school the next day
perfectly fine, politicians and global elites do it

smoke a joint in the evening
functional for work and school the next day
muh society is duhgenrating >:(

the lack of even the simplest critical thinking skills astounds me

WebTool
WebTool

needing to strawman people as pro-alcohol to say that what you’re doing isn’t as bad
A d d i c t s

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

Thats fair, at least you have some integrity

you're still dumb though

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

voluntarily choosing to impair your cognitive function on a regular basis while calling people dumb

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

Millions of people through the ages smarter than both of us chose and still choose to do so

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

DUDE

Bidwell
Bidwell

other people did it so I should do it and if you don’t do it you’re dumb
Wew
Newton poked around the back of his eye with a pin but it’s not recommended

Emberfire
Emberfire

lmao stoner btfo

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

OP’s life is demonstrably worsened by smoking weed
reeee keep smoking weed

Methshot
Methshot

economical liberalism
Way to suck the dick of globalist robber barons, cuck. I'm sure they have the right to gut economies, outsource, and therefore support enemy nations like China strategically as well 'cuz "muh liberatardianism" right?

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

Drown out your piss, drink a shit ton of water and cranberry juice, more cranberry, then water. You want to dilute your piss to the point the ppm is unreadable, it basically gets a pass because the reading is so low it can't really be read even if you do have marijuana in it, when you pee. Start peeing into the bowl first and only collect the midstream, don't finish or start into the cup. cover up drinks can be identified depending on which type of testing they do and is considered an automatic failure.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

Also, I would consider doing a lot of cocinar oil pulls, they pull and attach to a lot of junk in your mouth, I heard coconut isn't the best but it works, I haven't researched better alternatives.

Playboyize
Playboyize

ask a friend for pee. keep it in a vial/bag strapped to your thigh.

they are only doing it as a formality. they don't actually give a shit. they will just tell you "just go pee in the cup and come back when it's done". if anything they are testing you to see if you're retarded enough to NOT cheat if you wouldn't pass otherwise.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

if you don’t do
The post made no such implication.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

bernd
that image is not from Veeky Forums

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

Do not store real piss, it ferments terribly.
Go to headshop and get fake piss.
It comes with a warmer and has instructions.
Open and stuff it in pants on way to UA
Paperwork/waiting... also warming
Empty pockets remove hat
Go in stall and use warm fake piss
Pass UA
Quit being degenerate

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

they sell fake piss at the headshop

Illusionz
Illusionz

Doesn't know about fake piss at the headshop

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

War on drugs causes over-reactions to drug use
Drugs ruins persons life not directly through side effects but from societal backlash
See drugs are bad guys
At least try to understand how this works.

likme
likme

think you have to chose between one or the other paradigm
Yes, the majority of harm done by drugs is because of drug laws. They should be anything goes or singapore. The middle of the road approach is the worst of both worlds. Not threatening enough to cause people to stop, not lax enough to stop them being punished worse than the direct effect of the drug.
And also, doing drugs is fucking retarded, in both this legal climate and in general.
If you want to be fat, unproductive, paranoid and poor, blaze it up.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

If there was a law made against walking on the side of cliffs, and people were having more damage done to them by going to jail for cliff-walking than by falling off cliffs to start with, it wouldn't become a good idea to walk on the edge of cliffs.

whereismyname
whereismyname

you're fine, if you're non-fat and drink water it should take like a week to pass. The one month thing is for regular smokers.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

This fuck every last one of you niggers who smokes in public

girlDog
girlDog

Most companies only really pay attention to hard drugs like heroin or meth.

happy_sad
happy_sad

Weed reduces sperm counts in men by 2/3s and results in offspring with shrunken genitals in women.

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