Fao Angry Chef's

Which fish and chip shop is it faggot?

here. I'm an executive chef. I started as a dishwasher. I've done it all.

>doesn't understand how harassing employees is a liability

Your ignorance is showing. Tuck that shit back in.

>>i'm so alpha i go on Veeky Forums and brag about threatening to stab a literal retard

I only posted because im trying to unwind after a busy shift serving on the front line, you wouldnt understand obviously.

>>Which fish and chip shop is it faggot?
Read the thread retard, its a fine dining restaurant, steaks etc.,

>Its not a environment for fags slacking off and idiots bumbling around.
Oh, you mean like literally any blue collar job? God you restaurant cucks are worse than housewives, thinking you have the hardest job in the world.
>Its a serious job where you have to be able to work under pressure and understand how much is at stake.
How much is at stake? Sorry what? Someone has a shitty meal and maybe after 6 months if that keeps happening a restaurant goes out of business and you have to seek work elsewhere? Sorry what? If the guys on my shop floor fuck up they die, if they fuck up minorly the customer might die, if they continue fucking up in 6 months we'll have a goddamn lawsuit on our hands and you honestly piss and whine about how hard and stressful cooking for people is? Neck yourself honestly.

>if they fuck up minorly the customer might die

Iv had to do a food hygiene certificate.
Believe it or not, if somebody fucks up in the kitchen people could die of salmonella.
Its a lot more serious than most amateur cooks understand.

>food hygiene certificate

A joke. Let me know when you have to start dealing with HAACP and FSMA.

>Most people infected with Salmonella develop diarrhea, fever, and abdominal cramps between 12 and 72 hours after infection. The illness usually lasts 4 to 7 days, and most individuals recover without treatment.

Hilarious, I've designed equipment for handling gases that are fatal at

>fine dining
>steaks
kek.
plebeian.

>>fine dining
>>steaks
>kek.
>plebeian

Its the most expensive kind of meat and it takes the most care to get how the customer wants it.
Its one of the most skilled jobs in a professional kitchen arsehead.

>Its a serious job where you have to be able to work under pressure and understand how much is at stake.

KEK

This entire thread is fucking cancer.

I've worked in a couple of fine dining places, on prep, pantry and sautee. The chefs I've had who were alpha dickheads were twits who bred contempt in people underneath them and made work insufferable. I guess you could say it had one positive affect in that it brought the team together, in mutual loathing of the boss.

All of the good chefs that I've worked for could communicate during a busy rush without resorting to threats or being an alpha fuck head. I dunno, maybe it's a cultural thing.

This thread fucking sucks.
By the way, one of you are alphas. Alphas don’t come on Veeky Forums and brag about being alpha.

>fuck you up with my chefs knife >:(
youre doing it wrong. I would take that seriously too if I were washing dishes and some faggot said hed stab me. Id constantly ask you when youre going to stab me with your chefs knife if you werent arrested after I called the police and reported you to the owner.
you sound like a real winner, OP. The life of the party and a true gentleman. You just dont come across real men like OP anymore telling a kid hes going to stab them over dishes to make himself feel better about his pathetic life.

>cooking steak
>Its one of the most skilled jobs in a professional kitchen arsehead.
Keep telling yourself that.
What's the average wage at Wetherspoons?

The more alpha thing is to design a menu/kitchen/staff rota that works efficiently with minimal issues.

>steak is a kind of meat
Retard.

the fuck do you know spud

>understand how much is at stake.
Don't you mean.... how much is at "steak"....?

>Reddit spacing
You've got to go back.

>if you werent arrested after I called the police and reported you to the owner.

You cant be arrested for threatening someone idiot.

Probably lives at home with his parents lol.

Iv never been on reedit in my life.

>people taking the bait
When they said Veeky Forums is the easiest board to troll, they weren't kidding.

What the fuck is the draw of a KP job anyway? You are the lowest on a brutal hierarchy. People could literally walk up and put cigs out on your forehead and you can't do shit about it because you are a fucking KP.

>reedit
Lurk Moar

>threatening behaviour isn't an arrestable offence
It's a felony you fucking ignoramus.

init, most kp's are youngsters or foreigners here

you can get away with all sorts because they cant get another job

I live in England, send the FBI lol

Dude at my work got mouthy with the head chef over hours. He got beaten shitless with mop handles at the end of that shift by a couple of us in the locker room.
Never came in again so kind of backfired, kek :D

>tfw I've done every back of house job you can think of, and never had even the chefs known for having a temper, get mad at me, because I get shit done and get it done right the first time

surely the opposite is the case. i was kp in a starred restaurant and given i wasn't a chef i was basically separate from the hierarchy. it's not like i could have fucked anything up to ruin service except drop 20 plates at once or something

trip advisor, he says.

ITS A SERIOUS JOB, where you get paid next to nothing. lol, enjoy your chains, slave.

oh god, this motherfuckin' thread

t. wondering what to order from his favorite restaurant tonight since he can't cook shit

Its the biggest resteraunt review website in the world and the reviews are by actual customers so highly regardede dickspaz

I get paid better than a lot of office jobs dont have to wear a shirt and tie like a cuck and get to be creative. Sucks to be you office fag.

nigga, the insecurity you've got is positively glowing.

>wondering what to order from his favorite restaurant tonight since he can't cook shit

picture is of food from my resteraunt lets see you make something better than part timer

Not at all insecure, just not taking shit off a bunch of amateur know it alls that have never even been in a professional kitchen before.

Not him but that does look nice fwiw

Thanks i work at one of the top resteraunts in UK.
Its very hard work and takes extreme levels of focus to be able to cook like us. This is why it is ok to put our feet down when we think the shit tier staff like KPs are not putting in 110% and putting the kitchens performance at jeopardy. Its a lot like being in the Armed forces or in a successful sports team. Cant have any broken links in the chain or things will soon turn shit.

Cooking is for women.

Men eat steaks and plain meals.
You're just an effeminate homosexual.

I am proud that I treat food as fuel and not a creative pansy activity.

>the front line

Lmao you aren't a soldier mate. Your a cook who makes food for people to consume. You a luxury of society. Not a necessity.

Farmers are superior are they create food.

>fine doing steaks
It's cheaper to buy supermarket protein and cook it yourself.

English cuisine lol

You are talking shit.
Cooking is only homo if you dont do it in a professional kitchen.
Actual chef are men because its a tough job that you need to be hard to take the pace of.

That's a childs portion

>Farmers are superior are they create food.

bollocks, farming is basically gardening for people with no imagination

Thats cause its fine dining not some trash, roadside all you can eat you scumbag.

Your professsion is born out of laziness and artsy fartsy service industry.

I get more satisfaction out of a cheap meat with supermarket bought ingredients just thrown in than any sit down meal

Food is fuel, its there to serve as energy. Not be a edible painting.

And 90% of all dishes are sugary garbage with empty calories

Plain rice and plain chicken. That's all the human body needs for dinner

Cooks are just servants for those who can't serve themselves

It's got no nutrition. Covered in diabetes sugary sauce and empty potato carbs

Basically on the same level as a takeaway in terms of value.

Not to mention menus don't include calories or macros, only further proving my point that your industry is home for the obese and lazy eaters

You see, as I'm a bodybuilder I'm superior to you as I reflect mans ideal form of masculinity, while you raise your cortisol levels in an modern environment that does nothing to stimulate muscle and stresses your mind over meaningless prioritys (customers, caring about food prep and non nutritional ingredients, pansy presentation)

The only good food outlet is those who serve a large amount of clean protein

>I just pulled a picture off Google and I'm pretending I made it
You're a sad, sad user.

It's made up stress, it's all mental and creative fantasy

It's not important to the survival of the body, unlike physical training which creates real strengths and real life tangible benefits

Id rather have the ability to reach a new bench press and be better conditioned, than to know how to make some fancy food

>farming is basically gardening for people with no imagination
>mendellian selection doesn't require imagination

I would agree that the industrial farmers buying and planting GMO seed in a sterile soil used for transporting carcinogenic petrochemicals into the plant fit that description, but there's an entire movement among small and medium scale growers to focus on sustainable agriculture.

>Plain rice and plain chicken. That's all the human body needs for dinner

Enjoy getting scurvy then dumbarse.

>>You see, as I'm a bodybuilder I'm superior to you

Bet you wouldnt last five minutes in out kitchen you roidhead fuck.
Id shout you down until you cried, dont give a fuck about your fake muscles and swollen ego-head.
You reckon you know all about food but you obviously never even been to a top restarant if you think bigger is better.
We use some of the best ingredients in the world all locally sourced.

>work ina kitchen with an "alpha" type of headchef
>always shouting and throwing shit around
>kitchen's a shambles
>man-tantrums, man-tantrums
>has an anyeurism or someshit and has to retire
>hear that he's going to be replaced by an ex-army chef
>shitting it, expecting to get a bollocking every shift and probably assaulted
>new headchef is firm but fair, turns the kitchen around
>no man-tantrums
>everyone becomes a bit more relaxed, efficient and invested in what they're doing
>says that "they don't accept that Gordon ramsay bullshit in army kitchen's"

>"they don't accept that Gordon ramsay bullshit in army kitchen's"

What about with the KPs though?
Sometime they need telling straight so they dont get lazy.

Yes, it's called an plain orange, not the fancy lemon zest garnish you put on a dish

I eat food that doesent need additional assembly.

So? Neither would I last a minute in ballet? Masculine men do not excel at any activity that doesent respond to brute force. Many of the jobs I've worked you would be in a wheelchair after the workout it gives you

No I wouldent because I'd just laugh at you caring about something as pointless as food art

I don't respond to men who aren't my physical equal, if someone smaller than me tries to act tough I literally can't control my laughter

I'd laugh at "ruining" your dishes by not seasoning them and wasting all your ingredients lol

Bigger isn't better, macros are.

Dessert is a completely unhealthy and pointless dish, one you chefs love to create unhealthy garbage with

Yeah the best ingredients perhaps, mixed in to make something redundant when it was optimal as plain cooked meat with some brown rice and plain vegetables

None of this sugary or calorie loaded sauces or caramelised vegetable bs

Oh I know more about food than any reviewer because I understand it's not for the enjoyment of the tastebuds, but the nourishment of the body.

I eat for maximum energy and optimal performance. I only drink water, I only eat clean, and refined sugar is non existent to my diet

It's designed to power the body and increase its ability. To feed a furnace, to power a machine.

Meanwhile your patrons consume empty calories on top of meagre amounts of protein washed down with metabolic liquid killer known as alcohol

The greatest taste in the world doesent come from any specially prepared food. It's come from that post workout meal where the body is exhausted and water tastes like ice cold nectar and the most plain foods taste like ambrosia

Because the human body wasn't designed to sit and savour things handed to them on a plate. Food has to be earned through exercise.

Remember kids

Eat clean. Don't eat calorific chef "food"

Firstly if you dont like food, cooking or anything then why are you posting on Veeky Forums?

Second: >>water tastes like ice cold nectar and the most plain foods taste like ambrosia

You obviously haven't got very refined tastes if you cant tell the difference between plain chicken and rice pudding user.

Thirdly: how can you claim to know anything about food when the say you are not interested in it. I believe the worlds top chefs over a fake-muscle druggie and day of th week.

Some of the top chefs hav been training and working for years so know way more than your average roid-heads.

I'm a NEET
I'm a weeeeirrrdoo

People in this thread think they know but dont. They haven't got a clue lul.
Its not just ok, its the right thing to do.
Some shit for brains that is only a KP puts your career and business in jeopardy you tear them a new arsehole, dock their wages and sack them as soon as you got cover.
I wouldnt let someone come in and fuck up my marriage i aint letting them fuck up my career either.

I enjoy food gore and memes about nutrition.

I was referring to the Olympian reference of Ambrosia, the food of the gods so pure than mortals die upon tasting it.

Not the rice pudding you fool.

Ah that's the beauty of being me. I'm Natty. All my power comes from my pure will and wise nutrition and superior anabolic genetics

I've yet to see a chef who was a pot bellied pig or a rake thin out of shape twig. Even Ramsey has a fridge like dad bod.

Humans aren't meant to have refined taste.

Because physical supremacy is the universal truth. What good is a chef when he can be knocked out cold.

>I've yet to see a chef who was a pot bellied pig or a rake thin out of shape twig. Even Ramsey has a fridge like dad bod.

Did you mean *not?

Muscle dude fucked up his post up from roid-rage lol.
Top kek desu.

OP is right, so much bullshit in this thread by idiots that dont know anything/.

It's far less stressful compared to when you get angry at your assistant chefs lol

Lmao, "this Skillet is wrong" protein is protein bro

Fuck off chav.

>110%
Spotted the retard.

I was a culinary student and I fucked off of FnB because of people like you that suck Gordon's dick. First hand experience at a 5-star hotel kitchen and day to day I'm sick of seeing the higher in command being a little bitch about the most minor things that could be said in a normal tone of voice.
The cooks are not even trying to get good food out anymore, they just wanna roast people and be super cool just like Ramsey.
It's a meme and you fell for it retard, I'm making triple of what I'd make in the kitchen and I'm not looking back at tards being actors in the kitchen.

>he thinks ambrosia is rice pudding
This is a bait thread. You’re not a chef.

>Its a lot like being in the Armed forces or in a successful sports team
Only in your mind, you get the stress and the shit hours, but not the pay or the recognition.

>this thread
jesus christ have some self-awareness you dumbass bong motherfucker

>fine dining
>steaks
you can teach a monkey how to fry a perfect steak in less than an hour

I'm sorry you made the mistake of choosing to become a chef. I know it's a hard job that gets shit pay but buddy this is the life you decided to pursue.

>resteraunt
>Works in a restaurant.
>Can't spell restaurant.
Ok.

I think OP had a fire in the kitchen because I don't see him recovering from that burn.

i think i've been to your kebab shop

why is there a fried twinkie with bits of grass on it?

>mimics behaviors he picked up from american TV shows because he thinks they portrait reality

Jesus christ you are fucked in your head.

You should undoubtedly make his life miserable when working for being a pathetic little coward who runs to tell the teacher when he gets picked on instead of realizing its an opportunity to correct his own mistakes and improve himself

Things that never happened ITT

lol, pathetic

Cop here.
That is assault with a deadly. Try again.
>inb4 hurr I didn't stab him
Menacing is assault, physically harming someone is battery, hence assault and battery.

come on, this guy has to be baiting

cool story

>most expensive kind of meat
Lobster comes to mind...

Im a chef in the UK, not a theology student dipshit

Retard.

Hilarious how the fucking crybaby 'home cooks' on this board have hopped on OPs dick for being a fucking man.
If you are a chef, you have to show emotion. There is no other way. You have to abuse your 'staff' because restaurant staff are weak little effeminate pussies, who need to have some fucking sense smashed into their thick skulls by an alpha male chef.

I am a chef with actual years of experience. Pic related, whipped this up this morning. Mild Poached Eggs, with Medium Well Black Pudding Steaks, Charred Mushrooms, Baked Beans in home made tomato sauce, bacon smoked on site, egg stabilising sausages, tomato, and cheese on toast off toast. Customer gave a five star review on trip advisor because of course they did.

I didn't get this skilled by being a fucking soft prick in the kitchen. I have caused well over 40 members of staff to quit in the last 3 years, and the management don't care, they know I am the one who sorts out the kitchen. If a staff member can't properly season the Worcestershire sauce soup, then why shouldn't I berate them? Before ANY staff member, kitchen or front of house, is allowed to work with me, I FORCE them to tell me about any personal problems so I can use that to insult them. Anorexic waitress? If you fuck up and drop a plate be damn sure I will insult your twiggy starved wrists and muscleless hungry arms, in one swift devastating insult, until you break down in tears. Then you quit because the mentally weak don't survive. I am a LION. The kitchen is my Tundra, where I dominate. Except this Tundra is so fucking hot that the permafrost is melting, and the stability of the staff is severely tested, and most will buckle and collapse.

I will get physical if required. I once gave a dishwasher a broken neck because he dared to make a joke about leftover food from one of my Beef Wellingtons. Disrespectful shit like that gets fucking wiped in my Tundra. My kitchen. My fucking restaurant. The owners think they own the place but they don't.

That looks like fuckin slop mate.

>I'm a chef
>here's a Denny's tier breakfast I made.
You're a cook at best.

yep, however our current ""head chef"" has to be angry and yell because the Nogs and the Juanitos won't fucking do anything quick enough otherwise. when it's just us white people he can relax. I can see it really affects him because he's not that kind of person at all. white female manager keeps fucking hiring ""minorities"" even though they steal(food/alcohol) and get fired every 4-5 months.