Im bored. tell me about the worst thing youve ever cooked

im bored. tell me about the worst thing youve ever cooked.

Ur mum lol

Misread a chili recipe when I was a kid and added a bunch of vinegar. It wasn't salvageable. I think I had accidentally flipped to a pickled chile recipe when I did that.

I didn't realize it until I got to the end of this sentence that you don't really cook cereal. But I was going to say cereal.

well, shit, you really got em there user

I worked at a Mcdonald's

I made a goulash with the wrong paprika. I ate one half of a small bowl and threw the rest away. I'll eat pretty much anything but this was disgusting.

I used to smoke pot, and my secret ingredient for every dish was cinnamon powder.

One day I was blazed and cooked some mac n cheese with kielbasa sausage cut up and mixed throughout, and a bunch of cinnamon powder, garlic salt, and cilantro.

My sister and girlfriend are it, but gagged and talked shit the whole time.

Fuckin bitches.

I once used OOOOLD premade fajita meat to make an omlette.

It was salty and smelly and I used it anyway to see just how far I could take beef. Perhaps less old next time. Being sick all day was not worth it.

A meatloaf that i stuffed with an assload of spinach because it was about to go and I needed to use it. I ended up with a hunk of meat that tasted and smelled like overcooked spinach. It was inedible for me. Nobody in my family would it eat it and I couldn't give it to the dogs.

That sounds like shit. Don't blame weed for having shit taste. When I smoke weed, I just enjoy putting more habanero sauce on my food than usual.

One time I fried some eggs and put a bunch of spices on them basically anything that was in the cabinet. I was mad drunk at the time. Had like bay leaf and cloves lol. Tasted awful I threw the whole frying pan away. Went to McDonald's after and bought a mcdouble

do you know how side dishes work?

Is that a sweet ramen sundae?

this actually tastes really good, sweet spicy and salty.

>sweet ramen sundae
Don't even remind me

A mayo cake

>Be ten
>Want to defrost a packaged English breakfast muffin
>Put in microwave for 5 min
>Still frozen
>Put in microwave for 10 min
>STILL frozen
>Put in microwave for 50 min
>Fire alarm

The microwave smelt like burnt so badly we had to throw it out.

I was in that thread!

That's my claim to fame!

I've had some mishaps with popcorn where I burned it or seasoned it badly. It took me a while to get a method down that doesn't mess it up. That method is pouring 2-3 tbsp neural oil in a pot, thrown in a few kernels, turning the heat to high, when they start popping turn the heat to medium or medium high, whatever maintains a steady popping rate, and shake the pan while you wait fro the popcorn to finish. I also didn't realize it works best if you don't add too much liquid seasoning unless you put it in the oven to dry it out after, so for cheese popcorn I drizzle some melted butter over the popcorn, toss to coat, then add white cheese powder.

I also fucked up baked apples and pears last month because I was too stoned and added some camembert that was overripe and it made it inedible.

fish curry bonbon
no pics of it but it was nasty

nah they were right, you ruined it with that combo. weed is no excuse for your poor form.

A cake made of large cookies, dipped in milk and covered with jam
It sounds good but a slice of it was really chewy, really heavy and it took all appetite out of me for the next 48 hours

Are you fucking retarded

I tried to make this, like, herb-poached eggplant dish. Instead of eggplant, I bought a zucchini, and I just tried it with that.

Wasn't good man

My first attempt at cooking was doing an omelet for my mom
I had no clues about what I was doing and put things I thought would be could. She helped me with basic stuff (how many eggs, heat...).
I wanted to have something crunchy in it and tried to put bits of toast in it.
It became a soggy mess a true disaster.
She ate some in order to make me feel good but I was very disappointed with myself

>be 10

>15 minutes in the microwave
>still frozen
No fucking chance

i boiled orange juice and mixed it with vanilla bean ice cream to make a creamsicle. then i dumped a shitload of vodka in it and ruined it. that was pretty bad.

then there was the time i cooked a grease fire and almost burned the apartment down, but im not sure if that counts because the chicken did taste pretty good