Veeky Forumserary confessions thread...

Veeky Forumserary confessions thread. Confess how awful you are and make us all feel better about ourselves for browsing Veeky Forums 18 hours a day.

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i unironically believe Veeky Forums has made me a smarter, happier and more well-rounded person

I use books as coasters on my coffee table. It's a new coffee table and I don't want stains but I'm not wasting money on circular pieces of porcelain just so they get dirty from the base of cups and mugs. Shitty books provide a fine enough coaster.

Cracking the spine is fine (I encourage it - you don't want to look like a faggot who hasn't read any of his books now, do you?)

eReaders are more cost-effective but I'd rather have a physical book that I can use as a coaster.

I once came into the middle of a library book and returned it like it was no biggie.

I steal books from book stores if they're in the public domain. It's not really stealing though if nobody owns it.

T B H, I feel similar. If it wasn't for one day I wanted a break from /mu/ and /v/ and I came here for opinions on the few books I had read back then, I probably would be a pretty casual reader which would be a shame as I have discovered some of my favourite books through recommendations and discussions on here (Moby Dick, Crime & Punishment, Don Quixote, King Lear, Dubliners, etc). Shitposting and /pol/posting aside, I do enjoy my time here and it's made me appreciate reading more.

I think I'm too stupid to learn much of anything from literature.

y'know, i didn't realise Lenny was a simpleton until the end when he got shot

like it was a pin drop moment for me, almost like i woke up because the book was so boring and something finally happened

you're the fucking worst, newman

The underlying confession is your autism.

this
also it takes me 10 minutes on average to read a page of a book

This can be the case for me if it's a book like GR, Ulysses or The Recognitions (they're kinda begging to be read slowly though) but if I'm reading some Steinbeck or Mishima I can tear through that book in a day or two.

Is there a person shittier than Newman?

> tries to steal some of Jerry's hair to start a war between two related barbershops and their dedicated customer
> steals an old man's record collection to sell to some lowlife record store dealer and can't even get five dollars for them
> sends Jurassic Park into havoc

this to be honest, family.

You guys (and Veeky Forums) really helped with my dissertation as well.

I'm going to mention you all on my Acknowledgments.

I'm not joking btw.

I believe short stories to be better than novels.
Essays are the best format to expose one's philosophical ideas.
Translations can be just as good as the original, because often times the translators are great writers in their own right. Good examples of this are Pessoa's translations of The Raven and other of Poe's poems. Baudelaire's translations of Poe are also breddy gud.
I rape the absolute shit out of my book spines, i try to avoid it but it always happens.

this 2bh
got exposed to so many new ideas, and taught me how to read better
So thanks to you all on that front.

What is wrong with you?

> cums into a book and returns it

Nobody does this.
r-r-r-ri-right??

Less a confession, more like brutal honesty:

Good luck selling a screenplay anywhere if it's not written in Final Draft. Nobody will take you seriously if you don't use Final Draft and if you don't know how to fucking format.

The amount of scripts I see on my desk like this, they just go into the fucking trash.

I don't blame you. Poor formatting can really make or break your experience of a story.

I like reading fanfiction.
A lot.
It's not really a choice at this point. I'm just so hung up on certain tropes that are super prevalent in fanfiction that I can't find books for.
And I love crossovers
Kill me

> stealing books

Victimless crime.

Kagami and Ritsu are my one true pairing

mine is zolu

not even a crime to be hon-
>And I love crossovers
user why

...

> that image

I see things like this from time to time and I have to wonder why I keep returning back to Veeky Forums (like the ogre hand guy who lived underneath someone's house). This place really is full of degenerates.

I don't know! I read them when I was young and I never got over them! I used to read fucking all the anime x harry potter crossovers- I don't even LIKE Harry Potter! I just wanted to read about anime demon fighter and friends being weirdos in school. (which I never got, because YYH has fuck all in good fanfiction) And anime and Stargate! What the fuck? I think I just like the clashing of worlds thing. I'm so sorry.

I read Blood Meridian thinking there would be a blood-red jewel in there somewhere but then I found out meridian meant something completely different.

>because YYH has fuck all in good fanfiction
>tfw knew this to be true in 2007
>its still true 10 years later

Some FF7 fanfics were pretty decent though

> I once came into the middle of a library book and returned it like it was no biggie.

The book is like sub 100 pages. How do you get bored so quickly?

Yeah, there are few goods one out there, but they're so few. The only big fandom I've ever read in was teen-wolf, so I had a lot to work with, but everything else? Fuckin' forget it. I used to be able to slough through thousands of shit fanfics a day, looking for that diamond in the rough, but now? I just can't. Also it's weird as an adult seeing all the phase sexual things showing up. Like when I was reading fanfic, there was lime, and lemon and citrus, and now there A/B/O and fucking LITTLES? Everywhere! I want to read about Tony Stark finally getting a goddamn hug, not about fucking LITTLES! FUCK OFF!

> 18 hours a day

You must be a special kind of wastrel if you actually do this.

I like talking about books and shit more than I like reading them.

...

CRASH

J.G. Ballard is severely underrated in this board 2bh

I feel proud because I have that book on my kindle

Good post.

Using books as coasters is Jordan Peterson-tier

Wow RUDE

I disagree. He wrote a few good novels, and a handful of decent stories, but a solid 2/3 of his output is pure shit. I cringed my way through a ballard anthology.

> used to live in the middle of shitfuck buttcrack nowhere in yorkshire, went to school that has since been shut down
> english class
> people spelt simple words based on how it sounded through the yorkshire accent because they're retarded ("our" became "are" and some kids even spelt their own fucking names wrong)
> english teacher got fired for openly saying he didn't want to teach gay students and that he would beat his own kids for associating with gay people
> some students were given colouring by numbers worksheets when we studied WW1 poetry because they said they were bored
> there was a genuine retarded girl in the class - she had a teacher assistant and she only went to school for half-days. Whenever the teacher left the class, the other kids tried to make her cry by stealing her things, pulling her hair,spitting on her, etc before the teacher got back (once she was pulled from her seat and forcefully stripped)
> last time i saw her - before i moved towns - she was shuffling down the street crying in her pyjamas asking for her dad, she would've been 22, she was wearing a diaper high up enough to see

Small Yorkshire towns are bad places to live in.

>have 12 books coming in the mail
>have maybe read three books these past months
>while I was basically unemployed
I'm slowly getting back on track to unJUSTing my life now though desu

The blood red jewel is the book itsel, user

The Atrocity Exhibition is fantastic and one of the greatest examples of science fiction that completely gets out of the genre fiction camp.

Have you considered listening to an audiobook instead?

Veeky Forums in general has made me a better person in general, im Veeky Forums, Veeky Forums, /mu/, and /out/. I have tons of interesting niche hobbies, and I'm generally much more informed than my peers.
hot girls also inexplicably find me interesting and attractive now too

I own 15 Star Wars novels and have read at least 30

I can't read most books without falling asleep so I listen to them on audio

I am a White Supremacist

unless it was accidental while reading Lolita

Wait, you mean Ritsu from K-ON?

I am unable to order books from amazon because I don't know how and because I don't want my family to know that I'm reading. They'll probably ask me what the books are about and I'll be embarrassed. The dumbest part is that I regularly buy mangas and don't think anything of it.

victorian literature is boring.

I leave books open face down and dog-ear pages because I always lose my bookmarks.

When pages start falling out, I don't buy a new copy of a book. I just get out the tape and get to work.

I stopped being an edgelord with the "woe is me, I haz no famiry, am a broke niggerfaggot who loves lolis & can't into social structure" and am now moderately on my way to being a more successful, much less shit version of myself.

I mean, I'm still a huge fucking cunt to people, and if all of you -- all of humanity, actually -- died I'd probably continue reading and writing, and trying to improve myself, but I'd be much more willing now to shut the fuck up and listen to someone else's advice or opinion, and seriously contemplate it before responding.

Oddly enough, shitposting on here has kept my mind clearer, freer, and I have a lot less anxiety. I no longer have the intellect of a kumquat
>debatable, really
and I don't summarily dismiss other people by making weird fucking noises at them
>until after they've finished rambling on and on

Hell, I even quit video games and spending most of my time on here, and trying to get the qt's, so I can be that much more driven to succeed at the few things I'm relatively good at and want to do for the rest of my life.

Thanks faggots.

Do you still like lolis though?

I do.

Had to dig deep on that one because I had moderate anxiety re: "What if people found out?"

Was really freaked out it may have been an actual attraction to children subconsciously whereas I'd consciously straight up deny any possibility.

>Anxiety + freakout over nothing.
I fancy petite women, and am probably a hebephile, but not a fan of children. Lolis are for loving and 2D > 3D.

>Never would've figured that out, or gone that deep had it not been for this place.
>Then again, if I'd never gone on here I may not have ever come across lolis.

Huh. To be honest I kinda was in a similar situation once. I even visited a therapist because of it. In the end I wasn't into children of course but yeah. Without Veeky Forums the thought of me being a pedo would probably never even have crossed my mind for more than a second.

Worried about my post being judged heavily but here it goes

>Confess how awful you are

I'm an engineer who feels like I'm losing my job at any moment
No really need to be worried or stressed about this but here it goes
Keep getting calls for interviews etc.. I try to deny it and tell them I can't do it however they call back and throw me in interviews even though I'm not interested in leaving current company
Going to interview next week since they forced my hand even though I said no 3 times
Either way not really interested in taking the job, but a good networking experience
Get to meet some people at this company, and see where this interview goes
I'm also sure they can't match my current salary, however, I don;t do this job for the money anymore, I've found that I can be happy at 70k or 95k it doesn't matter

I'm an engineer at a pretty big company and this year from the beginning to now has been kind of hell and I have been stressed out for the last couple of months due to the way certain things happened. We have multiple clients, projects, and general work to do and which has been ongoing since the beginning of this year. I have worked my ass of since day one, and in July I learned I wasn't going to be the lead engineer for one client who I worked directly with and led multiple training sessions, multiple projects, and have done a lot of work for this one big fucking client. Now, when I learned they gave the position to someone else who I trained just a month before they gave it to him, I was fucking pissed off and the months from July-August where fucking hell for me, after all the work I did they gave him this position which I worked my ass off for. Well, ever since I failed at that and felt like a piece of shit, I moved on and found other work, projects and clients whom I work with. I currently am an engineer for over six clients and I have been working my ass off for the last couple of months and I have been having nearly a 100% success rate on everything I work on. Now, here's the kicker, another engineer whom I don't work with directly has mentioned today that he is "feeling sad" pretty much because he isn't getting a lot of work and he's pretty much going through what I went through, and I told him to call me and have a talk about this. He actually was a little nervous and tried to play it off as he is not angry or sad about his current position at the company, but I can tell he feels he isn't getting enough work. Truth is though, It all about how much you put into your career and how much you put in the time. He's worked here longer than I have, but I climbed the ranks fairly quickly and at a much higher success rate than anyone at the company. Well, I finally bitched about the position I wasn't given in a few months ago, and he just laughed when I said after all the work I have put in and they didn't give me that position, I was pissed, angry, and disappointed with myself. Well, from his words his whole staff/dept are actually impressed with what I have done and achieved over the past couple of months rather than that other client, yea it went to someone else but so what I have a much better position now and am in a much better place.

But I a getting worried, the guy who was given that role, he is trying to look at my current projects, he wants to know what i am currently working on, he wants to know more about what I do currently, well truth be told fuck him and he can go fuck off, what I have today stays in my hands and my control. He can go fuck himself, not my problem if what he was given he is getting bored with and not looked as highly as I am, I ended up disrespecting this coworker to the other guy who said I shouldn't worry about the other position etc.

>Feel free to call me an idiot or something...

That's kind of funny user. Congrats on clearing suspicions. Just argued against the therapist idea while reading an alchemy book yesterday. I figured,
>1. Even if it's just "What if?" a therapist could contact the police about a "potential threat" and that could spiral fast
>2. If I was into children, why didn't I ever do anything about it? Like the worst I'd done in that regard was download stupid things on LimeWire 10-15 years ago and look at h stuff or lolis.
>3. Any time I'd ever been alone with children, nothing happened. I felt guilty about getting a pissboner twice while working as a lifeguard and quit because I didn't want to subconsciously associate one thing with the other.

I'd have asked the question whether I came on here or not (odd childhood like that), but definitely wouldn't have uncovered lolis, or figured out I like shorter chicks. Would still be an autistic fuck though, haha.

I am a terrible writter, however I love literature and I am ready to throw my life away to pursue a life where I can read all the time I want without having to worry about success, responsibilities or family. I actually read 8 hours a day and sleep at least 12, wich gives me enough time to have a 2 meals a day and workout. I don't have a job at the moment and I'm failing at uni, but I don't give two shits.
>beatus ille all the way.

I hardly understood the illiad

THIS

Bump

Just look up names of people if you don't understand who exactly is doing what at a given moment. This is forgivable because everyone has like four different names

If you couldn't understand the plot, sorry you're retarded

At least you acknowledged that you're retarded.

The other user mentioned crossovers so yes

Similar feel, I didnt realise Robert Downey Jnrs character in tropic thunder wasnt an actual black guy until half way through the film

This isnt true, amazon is so easy to use and there's even an instant buy button

I had to stop praying to Mary because the thought of woman loving and caring for me kept giving me an erection.

> says he stopped being an edgelord
> he still is an edgelord

I bet you're my gay little brother who died his hair black and reads lord of the rings exclusively

I'm writing anime fanfiction in my best Pynchon impression (this does not imply a quality impression) because I can't be fucked to write anything else.
Hey at least I'm writing something.

I hate you for making me read that

My average enthusiasm for books I buy only lasts usually for like 2 days

Inspired by I want you to write a Stargate/anime crossover in your Pynchon expression.

myanimelist.net/anime/28907/Gate__Jieitai_Kanochi_nite_Kaku_Tatakaeri
This more or less already exists.

my favorite was gundam wing. For some reason gundam wing crossovers, though very few, have the highest ratio of good to bad (of the fandoms I've explored.) Who knows why. Anyway, there was a really good Stargate/Gundam Wing one, but I forgot what it was called. Nothing to do with Pynchon tho.

Veeky Forums here.
You're welcome, friendo

>accidental

I've read The Secret a hundred times and its my personal bible. I believe If I don't read a chapter a day then I won't get good luck for that following day. I make sure to finish the book at least a couple of times a month to have good luck in the following month.

This is a bit too real for me.

I leave books face down too as well as dog-earing. Nothing wrong here.

Stargate is really awful and I don't understand how anyone can like that trash. Please elaborate for me, user.

does it work? do you actually notice an empirical difference in your days of reading vs. days of not reading?

I liked it. Stopped watching it after O'Neill became the general tho. Hated Atlantis when it first came out, but now I love it even more, but not after they make contact with earth again. Boo. Give me a new society just starting fresh after being cut off from earth any day of the fucking week.

Out of any pairing in OP, this is my guilty pleasure too.

On the whole I enjoy fanfics too, though a large part of it is morbid curiosity. How people twist a story to fit their own whims or contrive spin-offs for neglected characters, that sort of thing. I can't say I go looking at Tolkien fanfics for some Bilbo/Thorin or Legolas/Gimli nonsense but I can't deny that Sansûkh is a very engaging what-if, even if it features both.

If it cheers you up mate, my middle school IT teacher was convicted of possessing child pornography a couple years after I left.

Unlike the rest of Veeky Forums, I actually read the books I talk about.

lets hug

i dont like Veeky Forums, its like /pol/ 2.0

Yeah, I've tested it many times and I have suffered for it. I read it daily and I typically never have a bad day. I like to believe it works. I used to be someone who was always poor and unfortunate, so badly that it was pretty comical some times, now it's the complete opposite. I have so much improvement in my luck and I never have to worry or stress out for anything anymore.

Yeah, everyone can say it's all in my head. But the progress I made since I began reading it has been very substantial.

> the final part of the post

;_;

Well, if no one else is gonna step up and tell you to kill yourself, I guess I'll have to.

Kill yourself.

I actually enjoyed Dan Brown's books and plan on buying Origin when it comes out.

I've had sexual fantasies about the Passion iktf

I pirate every book. When bloggers I like release books I look to pirate them. I've read forty books this year and paid for none of them. I must be up to $500 in theft.

Although, looking at that number it is incredibly low. I won't feel too bad about pirating everything I read until I get into the thousands. The worst part about stealing digital copies is having to read all these shitty epubs.

...

About 40% of my bookshelf in made out of stolen books, but exclusively books I'm sure that will be read
sometimes i steal faster than i read them

I love the show and I know Newman's role is meant to be cringey but holy shit does he do an amazing job at that, I can barely get through his scenes (even if at the outcome is funny)

Sometimes I prefer to be well versed in my country's literature than reading some classics, not because of national pride, but rather the amount of great authors we have and still haven't get around most of their work that interests me way more than Mark Twain or Dickens which I haven't read a page of any of them

I did NOT start with the Greeks.