What are the books I should read to have interesting things to say to people? How do I actually be interesting...

What are the books I should read to have interesting things to say to people? How do I actually be interesting, especially to girls my age?

I mainly read fiction books that I forget about soon. I may as well have read nothing. I'm currently reading guns, germs, and steel during my commute.

I see all philosophical axioms as arbitrary. I see facts as mere stamp collecting. I see pop sci as worthless but I'm too lazy to learn any of that stuff in depth. I have a STEM mastefs degree I disliked and couldn't talk about for 5 minutes if I tried. I haven't read all of Plato but I am certain that everything other than the death of Socrates is awful shit (just stuff asserted without proof, flailing within the unfalsifiable)

Apart from the laziness I don't even see the above as bad attributes. I am just honest, lazy, yet too unpretentious and genuine to try to seem anything more.

bump

harry potter and other YA trash

If you don't have interesting things to say to people already then books wont help you.

Read books like anna karenina, every pseud girl has read it.

I've thought about this quite a lot, and after trying to break down rapport in an autistic fashion, I've concluded that there's really no single book you can read to be interesting to most other people. What kind of topic is going to be interesting to most other people? What kind of behavior or skill is going to be influential or relevant to most other people? What kind of humor is going to be funny to most other people? There's no such thing, and approaching "being interesting" as "stamp collecting of interesting subjects" is going to doom you to failure unless you are targeting a specific group of people with specific mannerisms. And even at this rate, without the basics of rapport down, then any attempt to do this kind of targeted approach is doomed to failure.

What is the best general approach then to have interesting things to say? "Being yourself", except instead of being a cryptic faggot about it, we'll come up with a working definition: being at ease with yourself and others enough so that you can bond over common experiences, feelings, and interests. What is going to help you? Asking the right questions to get other people to open up and share information, practicing charismatic and relaxed body language, being observant, spontaneous, and vulnerable to encourage wit based off of what you both know, maintaining social awareness and following up after encounters, etc. Once you establish a connection with another person, then the topics will flow naturally, and eventually you'll discover whether you share enough in common with somebody else to be interesting, or simply have too many differences (and that's okay too).

Now, in the interests of keeping it Veeky Forums, what kind of books are going to best help you to accomplish these goals? A book on social skills, a book on psychology, a book on body language, a book on good conversation, a book on improv comedy (or something equivalent that improves spontaneity and wit), maybe even searching around the internet for a list of good questions to get to know somebody else or break the ice, and then PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. Once you have the basics down, then it's just intuition that you need to develop through trial and error, and then eventually you'll be interesting.

If somebody actually wants to be productive about this, like expanding upon the various categories or critiquing my approach right now towards a positive direction instead of burying this thread with another meme thread or criticizing the idea of both reading books and practicing with people to develop social skills, then I'll throw out a list of books that could get somebody started.

Also, reading the OP's post in a little more detail, none of those topics are automatically going to make you more interesting to other people. Chad could talk about those topics and be interesting, but you could also talk about those topics (in greater detail) and not be interesting at all. It's about your own presentation and cultivating familiarity, similarity, trust, and openness with other people.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnigie. Excellent insight on conversation and relationships. It's written in a way where you can open any chapter and read with good understanding. It has given me tools to sustain excellent relationships, have my employees happily accomplish tasks for me and works like a charm with the ladies. It's really just a simple book on human psychology.

Good post

Carnegie might be a good book on etiquette but it's not enough for becoming interesting. It helps develop the mindset somewhat, but it doesn't cover enough of the basics.

>reading books on social skills ever
Could you not be more autistic?

like anything else, social interaction comes from practice. have you tried talking to people? keep doing it. you get better at it with time. but most importantly, women are a waste of time. here allow me to introduce myself I am super intelligent look at all of my philosophical understandings and degrees oh btw I have to put all of my conscious and subconscious effort into pushing my ponis into a mucus-lathered orifice this is very, and allow me to put underline emphasis on the word "very" important to me you got that

It's nice to see this thread still alive. Fuck it, I'll post a basic booklist in the morning for sole Veeky Forumsfags to crucify me over if it hasn't been killed yet. Your welcome.

you don't read you get a life
girls your age dont give a shit about your opinion of leibniz they want chad to fuck them until the cry

You get life experience. Travel, put yourself in new situations and build an expanding repertory of amusing stories to entertain friends and have something to chat about with women. That way yo establish yourself as a worldly dude instead of cracking jokes or performing a routine Seinfeld-style, which will only show how much of a pleasing, needy faggot you are.

The problem with curing autism is it just doesn't work via text. People who rec books via chinese girl caroon website are just as much text for the person on the other side as reading a book.


I would love to recommend them read an interpersonal communication textbook, but they won't fucking do it. They want a quick answer to solve a life worth of problems. It just doesn't work that way. You fake it til you make it. You fucking suck it up and deal with other people being obnoxious or stupid or a jerk. In fact, you do it fucking cordially. You lap it up until you need those people for something. AND EVEN WHEN I SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT you'll get "oh I don't like to use people, I want to earn everything on my own, that's not ethical." They never see beyond the narrow path of their understanding. They do not understand that humans need social interaction. It is a selfish function of man to want and crave interactions of others. This is using other people for self gain, even if is just for personal gratification and a temporary cure to loneliness.


It is pointless to help others overcome their social anxieties and problems on this website. Years ago I would post on /adv/ constantly attempting to gratify myself by helping others, but it didn't help me, and threads are gone too quickly to know if any fruit came from the trouble of posting. No amount of questioning or reading can help someone like this. They must will themselves to meet someone in person that can help them. But this is a chicken and egg situation. How can an autist befriend someone to help him get over his social flaws when he has no social skills to befriend someone?

books don't reply to you.

Models by Mark Manson.

>I see all philosophical axioms as arbitrary.
> I haven't read all of Plato but I am certain that everything other than the death of Socrates is awful shit (just stuff asserted without proof, flailing within the unfalsifiable)
You're a pseud and you ever will be a pseud.

wtf why are the posts on Veeky Forums of such high quality today

Sure, I can type a response and it's two way communication. But it lacks all the characteristics of what makes someone a better communicator. I cannot see who you are. I can't make an initial judgement, nor can I make a judgement that evolves over time. To you I am simply text. I can't pull a Sherlock Holmes and deduce by your clothing what your style is, where you are from, how well off you are. I can't see your physical prowess to see if you are in shape, clean shaven, well kept, or a slob. I cannot see if you are slouching or standing tall. I can't tell if you have been short your whole life. I can't see if you don't know how to use hair product. All these things are on first glance.

Once you start speaking with the person face to face you can start to learn even more. You can see what type of accent they have, what ticks they have, what nonverbal signals they give to you to gauge their interest in the conversation. I cannot see if you are on your phone while we talk, if you look away, if you are twirling your hair, if your eyes glance up and down at me. What emphasis the person puts on what words. How fast do they speak, do they slur. All the things that help you determine how the conversation should go and in what direction you want to lead it are missing.


When I type "Fuck you." at you, you cannot tell if it was in jest, an attempt at a serous insult, a sexual desire, or just a passive statement of apathy.


These are the modes of conversation and socializing. These can be read about to understand the concept, but you can only truly learn them face to face through experience.

don't respond to my posts, please, or if you do remove an angle bracket so that they don't (you) me.

Read broadly. That's all there is.

Was that in jest, a serous insult, a modest request, or a passive statement?

Bump

Good post brother.

People like interesting people. (If you are interesting then people will like you.) Bored people aren't interesting, so if you're disinterested in a lot of stuff then you won't be interesting. Nobody wants to hang out with a douche who only complains about how boring things are.

Get actually interested in something that you care about and then maybe someone else will care about you.

Also, get off Veeky Forums I'm pretty sure highschool students are underage b&.

pleaase post this list
i've become a full normie and grew out of the /r9k/ /pol/ mindset and i've seen that empathy is one of the best gifts
even Veeky Forums is wrong about attraction, it's exactly this what you said
enlighten me pls

I mean, empathy is great, but don't let it overpower self-preservation unless the cause is truly worthwhile. i.e., trusting a sketchy person vs. dying to save your family. I'm glad you've taken the /experience/ pill though. I used to be heavily involved in /pol/, but I decided that I'd rather do my best to promote the best possible experience with others, even if I'm fully aware of just how things have become.

Anyway, here's my unexhaustive and unauthoritative list in accordance to the criteria set in :

>A book on social skills
Improve Your Social Skills - Daniel Wendler
>a book on body language
What Every BODY Is Saying - Joe Navarro
>a book on psychology
The Games People Play - Eric Berne
You can never read enough good books on psychology, but it's hard to make real use of more than just the basics unless you have plenty of experience, intuition, and skill to build off of. Start with a book or two and don't return until you are extremely comfortable with socialization.
>a book on good conversation
How to Have a Beautiful Mind - Edward de Bono
OR
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
OR
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey
OR
Models - Mark Manson
They are all good, depending on your goals, but don't get sucked into reading when you could be practicing. Most people find that one book is enough for general conversational skills, etiquette, etc. Besides, you can improvise more modern tactics to improve your relationships, such as saving birthdays, preferences, etc., of people on an index card software like Anki and randomly testing yourself on them.
>a book on improv comedy
The Upright Citizens Brigade Comedy Improvisation Manual - Matt Bessmer
Learning improv is gimmicky but it really works if you have social anxiety or if you're a very rigid person who isn't good at being spontaneous.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I would also recommend A Primer in Positive Psychology - Christopher Peterson for reference purposes. But don't get caught up on reading when you could be practicing skills and integrating experiences.

By the way, read this carefully, since it encapsulates every reason why it's not enough to READ the right books while also giving you a glimpse into what good communication looks like in the real world. Even after making all of those astute observations, he's only scratching the surface in possibilities because that's how complicated human interactions are. While books can give you the basics, you have to strengthen the basics through practice, and you have to experience for yourself the power to discover other people as if you're a mini Sherlock.

I'm a very sensitive person and when i'm on acid/weed with another people i can see right through their intentions or how the social setting is manipulated every single moment by everyone and the enviroment. It's actually very primitive and instinctual but still very complex.
I think i'm at a point where i hit a wall and the only way to actually elevate in social situations is reading more about the deep stuff and then applying it because i'm in a never ending loop where i'm aware of the social setting but don't have the knowledge on how to manipulate it or rise above it(unless on alcohol + low dose of acid)
Anyway thanks for the book. I know you would have much to teach me but i don't know the right questions, just that these questions exists and maybe the answer needs to be my own

The only thing I can teach you is the basics and a glimpse into what a capable socializer looks like. I'm sure you'll be fine in the future. Just don't get too paranoid about social games and learn to enjoy the ride without exposing yourself to too much harm. I could never socialize on weed myself, I'd just freak out all the time desu.

You can't cheat life mang, it will cheat you for as long as you keep up this tippytoe philosophical vantage point approach instead of living your dreams. You can misconstrue what I say in all types of ways too. You can think it's all about the rhetoric, how you say it not what you say etc. Wrong. The root of your problem is you are as you call it lazy. You want to have interesting things to say but it's YOU who is supposed to be interesting. YOU are supposed to live life with passion then the people in your nieche however big or small will say that's an interesting fucker and become attracted like moths to the flame. There's no other way.

As for girls they are sexual creatures. You will create much more interest if you act sexual rather than play mr trivia man. The rest is status except if you want low quality chicks, then the rest is nieche and subculture and whatnot.

You don't realize this yet but your views of philosophy and science are very Wittgensteinian (i.e., patrician).

If you want to learns about things that will interest women read sociology and anthropology books (a lot of it is actually interesting, even if it isn't true).

>Wittgensteinian (i.e., patrician).
For undergrad lol

"Develop an interesting personality? Nah I'd rather just mindlessly regurgitate what actual intelligent people wrote to make myself seem intelligent, because women of any age will love my ability to restate the main themes of some 18th century Eurotrash philosophy book I read specifically to try to impress people." - Original Poster

thanks you mvp

Have you ever looked into NLP? is it scam or real?

I only vaguely know what NLP is. From what I understand, it's just application of the concept of classical conditioning, which is probably one of the most solid psychological concepts out there, though it is definitely limited in its power. I imagine that you should take NLP with a grain of salt, given that it attracts quacks, but I'm sure it can be quite useful. Check out Scott Adams's Persuasion List if you want an entry-level list to NLP and other things. Also, don't use NLP as a gimmick... only use it once you have the basics of socialization down.

this. and also dont bother reading any of the books itt, just go talk to people

>girls your age dont give a shit about your opinion of leibniz they want chad to fuck them until the cry
I didn't browse Veeky Forums whilst taking a break from reading about Leibnizian panpsychism to have shitty truths shoved in my face.

'It' is not a scam, but most people who speak highly of it are scammers. 'It' is just an idea.

Stupid advice for clueless people. A few books helps as long as you also go talk to people to practice. If all they needed was to talk to get better, then they wouldn't need to ask for advice.

Look, you fucking faggots, don't pretend like this site is anything more than a fucking battleground for psuedo-cyber-warfare. I don't give a shit about anime. I enjoy literature. Anime is fine and good, there's some cool shows and concepts, but why the fuck does anyone pretend that we're all here because we like anime? Really? Its asinine. Stop pulling that lame ass line, I see it all the time. This place is the only real sense of anonymity that you can get, and people come here just for that reason.

>but I am certain that everything other than the death of Socrates is awful shit
Hahahaha

books like that just teach you how to be a doormat and a therapist to people rather than a friend. they all boil down to asking people about themselves. at any level youre better off just talking to people

I'm autistic -- couldn't speak until after the first 4 years of my life -- and even I know you're going about advice the wrong way.

If you want to seem interesting to most people, you shut the fuck up and listen to them. Seriously. Who are the people at the center of attention? The ones who listen to what other people say and reflect something back to them.

Ever notice how the most well-to-do people aren't usually the smartest, or have the highest IQ, but are the ones who know how to interact with people? First fucking key point of communication is to listen, basically with the entirety of your being -- no thinking of which words a person could have chosen, or their mistakes notions, or their shite syntax, or fucked up mass media quotes, or bills, or that shed you said you'd buy/build/fix.
Honestly listen and focus on the words they use, when they use them, how they use them. And then form a response. You'll get a much better comprehension of others, foster a greater appreciation for people, and probably learn a few things about yourself.
>And the best part is, if you get anxiety from the silence while you're forming a response, add in a quick note that it takes you a second to process things. People are surprisingly forgiving.

>It's better to look like a dunce for staying quiet a couple seconds and forming a well-thought response that lets someone know you were listening to them than blurt out fucking colours and sex toys trying to come up with perfect carry-alongs all throughout a conversation, due to anxiety.

Read poetry and randomly quote it in speech, last time i got my dick sucked i was with a girl and my friend talking about waifus or anime or something, he told me anime is for kids or some shit and i ran off some poe at him "let that word be our sign of parting, get de back into the nights plutonium shore, leave no black plume as a token of the LIE thy soul has spoken leave my loneliness unbroken take they BEAK from out my HEART and get they FORM from off my DOOR" i didn't even quote that shit properly but i was really dramatic about it and i stood up and pointed at him then the door and shit. I got a text from the girl later that night and she came over, we watched some netflix and she sucked my dick. Never called me back though, who sucks some one off to completion then doesn't call you back. Maybe i should have called her who knows?

Shakespear can be good too, i don't know how many times i told someone "if you cut me do i not bleed?"

No they don't. And they're not better off if they don't know the basics to get to know other people. Read the booklists found in this thread. Maybe Carnegie would do that if you autistically focused on one element above the holistic practice. Besides, many normies have problems with being walking door mats anyway. Reading No More Mr. Nice Guy - Robert Glover is the cure.