So tomorrow I'm gonna have a girl over to eat but I don't know what to cook to get her wet or something like that

So tomorrow I'm gonna have a girl over to eat but I don't know what to cook to get her wet or something like that.
Help me out Veeky Forums

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What kind of food does she like?

Pretty much everything

Chicken marsala is easy and cheap. It's a light meal, so she won't get the itis and need to go home to sleep it off. Don't serve it with pasta, small salad to share.

Spaghetti and garlic bread. Load them both up with some nice parmesan

lobster, of course.

What are you good at cooking?

Taking notes, thanks a lot

Carbs will give her rock gut and make her tired. That's a good meal to fuck your fat wife on your anniversary.

this pic was taken just before they ate the hot chick on the left. true story:(

Just cook her steamed hams.

the best thing for sure is a fatty rib eye with a potato gratin
but I only advise this if you know how to make the FUCK out of a steak

Nice digits. I'm not from Murica, by the way

A juicy steak over a bed of caramelized onions

well done of course

Really? At this time of year?

Carbs give me energy

Something spicy like Indian curry or Mexican. Don't go heavy on the carbs it'll slow her down. Fill her up on proteins and good fats. Use coconut oil or something. Maybe finish off with some dark chocolate and wine. If that doesn't work she's not interested.

If you can make a chocolate based dessert, you're getting pounded twice. Unless she doesn't like chocolate.

Also spring rolls are good.

the traditional go to would of course be a tiramisu
its very design is to create a light energizing dessert that will prime you for fuggin

Do what I do.
Family bucket of KFC for her, all the sides especially gravy. Make her one of your "famous" milkshakes and slip in a few roofies and laxatives.
Once she's out cold just park your mouth over her balloon knot and wait.
Works every time.

Serve her dat BBC

>Something spicy like Indian curry or Mexican
are you into scat or something?

here it is
youtube.com/watch?v=n6W00P2Rr90

Rumham

wine.

food with wine.
coke too if she's a bit rough round the edges

Girls love shit that makes their breath smell bad.

Carbonara with homemade pasta, white wine, creme brulee for dessert

get to pull out the pasta maker AND the propane torch

If her daddy is rich take her out for a meal
If her daddy is poor just a do what you feel

Carbs are sugar. Immediate fuel. Flash in the pan energy followed by a dramatic crash.

Spaghetti and meatball with garlic bread. Give her some good cbocolate for dessert. It allegedly gets her hormones and sex drive going.

Over-toasted Pop Tarts served on a paper towel with a room-temperature can of Budweiser you stole from your dad a few weeks ago and stashed under your bed, so now there's dog hair and dust stuck on the rim.

don't serve fucking chicken marsala for a first date meal, indian food means smelly apt, smelly sweat that especially comes out during sex, if you even get to that point. and probably spicy shits the next day if you make it right.

my advice: make something that you can do 90% of the prep work before she even comes over.

this is my go-to cant fuck it up plan to impress women. i never post on this shit site so listen the fuck up cuz this will get you laid:

reverse sear/sous vide (google it, I prefer reverse sear) a filet mignon/ribeye/NY strip steak until it's 125-130F. After that, it can stay in a warm oven for about 30 minutes without changing doneness.

in that 30 minutes you're going to let her in, serve her wine, show her your place, get her comfortable where she can watch you do your magic.

When you're ready, take the steaks out. Turn the oven to 450F and roast some parboiled fingerling potatoes and peeled asparagus with minced garlic, parmesean, salt and pepper (that you had prepared an hour before). takes about 15-20 minutes

get a thick pan on highest heat and put in a high smoke point oil until, it starts smoking. (make sure you have a window open, smoke detector off/sealed, stove fans on, and AC running) place the steaks that you've seasoned into the pan, for one minute exactly. Flip, 30 sec on high, then turn the heat off, 30 more sec and serve immediately (you don't need to rest sousvide/reverse sear steaks) with the asparagus and potatoes

shit i was visioning tikka masala when i read marsala. chicken marsala could work but a lot of people dislike mushrooms.

Something with a french name, wine, chocolate desert.

Sex should only last 10 minutes anyway

Asparagus and oysters

buy some pizza and kfc and plate then nicely as if you cooked them.

google "aphrodisiac foods", and plan accordingly. Plus wine, or her favorite booze.

You sound like a post menopausal cunt.

Marsala isn't indian food. MASALA is Indian food. Marsala is a Sicilian fortified wine. The sauce is made of chicken stock, marsala wine, mushrooms, butter and fresh parsley. Only a retard could fuck that up. All OP has to do is cook the chicken, remove from pan. Sautee the mushrooms in the butter, deglaze with wine and stock, reduce until thick and add the chicken back. Sprinkle fresh chopped parsley on top of it.

She'll be farting like crazy, nice.

Nah just someone who's been in a relationship for over a year

Thats enough time to lick her fanny, but you have to do other stuff aswell. Think of it like a five-course meal, you don't have desert first! (The fanny-licking)

I go straight for chocolate donuts dessert

Fish, make it asiany like Thai, serve with rice.

For desert always chocolate, if entree go with scallops or prawns in a garlic aoli or olive oil. Light amounts of cheese won't hurt the scallops.

5 minutes into propane and propane accessories and he give you this look.

Holy shit, I'm dying, my sides

>lick her fanny
Unless she's fresh out of the shower, I'm not licking her asshole.

Poulet saute beausejour served with buttered noodles, a fresh green salad with a light dressing a good loaf of bread and a decent wine to go with it should do just fine. It will also be quick and easy to prepare.

Nothing particularly heavy, and a perfectly browned chicken thigh or breast that is perfectly moist will make her moist, too. I recommend the NYT 60-Minute Gourmet version, myself.

It's stupid simple, looks and tastes great (and isn't something she might assume all guys probably know how to cook, like steak) and can be ready in under 40 minutes.

Nothing messy to eat
Hands dont touch the food

Try something light.
Chicken Parm is easy to make and not hard to make presentable.
A red wine to go with
A chocolate desert to share (feed it to her)
Keep the conversation about her, smile and nod offering affirmations to what she says.
Where a dark colored shirt, light colors and red sauce are not good if you spill, light a scented candle but keep it out of sight.
Soft Jazz playing
youtu.be/k3_tw44QsZQ
Heres 2 hours if you cant seal in that time something went horribly wrong

user is probably a brit, they use fanny for the vagoo

Unless she's fresh out of the shower, I'm not giving her the ol lickaroo

lasangnia

make her a roast chicken

Le Sandwich Rouge
A truly phenominal sandwich consisting of ketchup spread over a carefully microwaved piece of bread, and then topped with another piece of bread. Comes with a side of mayonnaise for dipping

something edible, right now chicks unless working in the industry don't ever cook because thats some "sexist bullshit"
No but seriously, every women I fucked didn't know jack shit about cooking and one ex was impressed I knew how to properly fry frozen roman squid rings

Are you exclusively fucking trailer trash or something? Most of the women I know love to cook (with varrying stages of competence). They're mostly highly educated and driven though.

Something simple. You could cook together. That's always fun. But stick to what you know and always remember presentation. You're far more likely to fuck things up when you start experimenting. Oh and get some decent wineglasses.

no, strong independent women that need no men unless it's for dick

so.... how did it go op?

I'd prefer to cook together when having a date. This way you actually do something. You'll have time to get comfy and will also create something (hopefully) yummy together. Win win.
You could do something elaborated that involved lots of sitting on a table together, talking and working. I'd suggest springrolls or potstickers.
It would also be fun to make something basic but entirely from scratch, like making fresh pasta.
You could always have a little surprise dessert waiting that you made in advance. But keep it light and small (think homemade sorbet with maybe some coordinating booze to warm her up) so she won't feel like just dozing off into carb coma after eating.

Fill her with oysters and dark chocolate. Nature will do the rest

>chicks workin in the industry?
Cooks?
>dont ever cook
Im confused

they can't cook for shit unless they are paid to

You seem to be confusing "entitled millennial women" with "all women".

Most women I've met who are under 40 can't cook. My ex would burn canned soup.

>So tomorrow I'm gonna have a girl over to eat
Cannibalism is wrong, OP.

Oysters, mushrooms, strawberries, chocolate...

Look up aphrodisiac food. Wow, I knew about oysters, strawberries and chocolate, but I didn't knew about chilli pepper and watermelon, I wonder if fried chicken works too, and if that's why black people are always so THRISTY.

lol

well, everyone born in the 80s to 2000 is a millenial and I don't like grandmas or jailbait

Soy decrease sexual appetite, soy is a frequent staple in the diet of oriental asians who are the least thirsty...in fact in Japan, which still eats much less meat than modern China which is starting to consume a lot of meat, a lot of men are now identifying as 'vegetarian man' with 'no taste for flesh', no sexual desire.

So OP should definitely avoid soy, unless the soy has already been fermented like soy sauce - fermenting destroys the pseudo-estrogen which in ABUNDANCE could somewhat feminize men (and mess with the menstrual and probably ovulation [sexual desire] cycle of women).

Mmmn, how about wok fried udon with oysters? Chop up some tender baby carrots into cute shapes, and use baby bok choy too. The big bok choy can be a bit bitter but the small ones are almost a bit sweet.

>Soy decrease sexual appetite

Source? Oh right, your favorite alt-right loony tunes.

Anything that;
>doesn't make her feel full
>doesn't make your house smell
>doesn't make her hand or face greasy
>goes down easy with white wine

Preferably also something you can leave in the oven to cook while you talk her up a bit. I really love pork tenderloin or individual beef wellingtons.

Cheese and charcuterie plate with baguette and fruits and pickled things for garnish. Light finger food and the pleasant yet somewhat musty flavors of cured meats and cheeses are excellent primers for hot, sweaty, filthy sex.

>Not wanting a greasy hand job
Disappointment

>Just lick peanut butter off her feet haha its what I do bro just be yourself and lick it thats what works for me

How about doing sushi together?
That once got me a mediocre blowjob when I had some weeb girl over.
Beisdes this one time it totally worked, it's also a fun activity to do together anyways and you can do much of the prep work before.
And all girls I did this with where at least impressed by the fact that I can produce something resembling a maki roll and even an inside out one.

Finally!

any amount of cooking will get you points, just don't fuck it up. make it light so she doesn't feel fat and maybe she'll touch your no-no spots.

fresh greens for a salad, roast a chicken and buy a loaf of nice bread. is hard to fuck that up. like someone else said get a white wine and you too can experience female companionship.

I'd add creamy mashed potatoes and an appetizer of lox and lavash and I think the underwear will be saturated. Follow that advice and you'll need a fan to dry your dick off.

>"If you would be boiled alive, wouldn't you ?"

>So tomorrow I'm gonna have a girl over to eat but I don't know what to cook to get her wet or something like that.
> Help me out Veeky Forums

Broccoli ensalada of your own make: chopped broccoli + chopped spinach + al dente pasta + parmesan cheese + Italian Dressing + finely chopped onions (easy on the onions or you will regret it when you kiss her). Chill once prepared.

De-boned chicken breast cooked in lemon juice, with plumbs, sweetened with honey to taste (sear both sides, then cover and simmer on a low heat).

Separately cook brown rice and black beans until both are soft. Combine and cook together in a greased/oiled skillet with cumin, chili powder, red pepper. Season until you can just start to taste the spices. Cook until the beans and rice have just started to crust. Don't be afraid to add water and don't forget to stir very frequently.

Served the chicken with sliced lemons and the cooked plumbs over a bed of the rice and beans with some of the broth/juice from the cooked chicken over the top. Serve the broccoli ensalada on a separate dish.

Accompany with a white wine of your choice.

Alcohol tends to ease the nerves and will help her relax and be comfortable. Don't pour her a full glass though, or she might get the impression you are trying to get her drunk.

...

I have no idea what I am doing.
I just imagined something that I might want to try fixing for myself and what might help it be appealing to a lady.

...

I have never posted on Veeky Forums before.
Please don't crucify me.

except rap and country

Some kind of goat cheese salad to start (bitches love goat cheese) followed by main course of fish and risotto and then something light for dessert like mousse or whipped cream and fresh fruit.

what bullshit. if this were true horses would be the most lethargic cunts on the planet instead of the most enduring ones. as a matter of fact all endurance athletes eat very carb heavy diets. what you're talking about is a food coma, which is brought on by eating like a pig, not carbs. something you shouldn't be inducing on a date night anyway.

my advice would be a light pasta and bread but make sure you have dessert. if nothing just buy some good tiramisu.

>me again
Actually, I would be interested to know if anyone thinks this would work as a good meal and if anyone has any suggestions.

Easy

Well it contains pseudo estrogen

homemade fondue, with a real baguette. small salad. wine. that should win you all 3 holes.

smelly pee? no thanks

See: Concentrated soy has been proven to reduce Testosterone production in limited studies for some people. But usually, only have an extended period of time vice just a meal.

Testosterone is what makes chicks horny though, so ymmv.

Soup. Pasta fagoil is easy and great.

>it would be extremely screechy

fuck. i haven't been with a girl in 4 years.

Protip pin dick, if you think anything you cook is going to get her wet, guess what? Your fucked already, and not how you want to be.

Have a drink have a drive

>I don't like Grandmas or jailbait
Shit taste, m8.

solid

the jailbait is to keep myself out of jail and I don't like milf cellulitis

Have strawberry tiramisu for dessert as this will both be light and an aphrodisiac (strawberry, coffee and chocolate are all aphrodisiacs) and preferable serve a salad with your main maybe with pomegranate, rochette and a small amount of some sort of crumbly tart cheese like feta or goats cheese. Also like many anons pointed out wine is a must as a drink. Make sure you get a decent one not necessarily a pricey one but a good one.