Which Bible passages are your favorite?

which version of the bible is the best, i want a "thou shalt" version

"therfore repeat what i have spoken out of context, thou shalt incure terrible sin, upon which all hell awaits him"

King James is the only patrician choice, every other version is a brainlet version.

NRSV is a wondeful edition user.
t. raised on Thompson-Chain Reference KJV

It changes but currently 1 Corinthians 14:26

>What then shall we say, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up.

thanks brother, lether bound or? nah

christfags

>"Jesus wept like a babby bitch"

I really like this one lately:
2 Samuel 6:16

>And as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal Saul's daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.

Matthew 6:34
>Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Revelation 21:4
>And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Gospel Of Mary
> "They interrogated the soul, 'Where are you coming from, human-killer, and where are you going, space-conqueror?'
>"The soul replied, saying, 'What binds me has been slain, and what surrounds me has been destroyed, and my desire has been brought to an end, and ignorance has died.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

This book is sublime.

>He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

The Psalms of David are the most touching declarations of faith and prayer I've read from Abrahamic religion. Psalms 138-145 is pure kino. Almost enough to make me consider becoming religious.

Mark 5:9
Then Jesus asked him, "What is your name?" "My name is Legion," he replied, "for we are many."

Thou shalt not fuck as a fag as gays are dirty and unholy.

Great speech from David when facing Goliath in 1 Samuel 17:

42 And when the Philistine looked about, and saw David, he disdained him: for he was but a youth, and ruddy, and of a fair countenance.

43 And the Philistine said unto David, Am I a dog, that thou comest to me with staves? And the Philistine cursed David by his gods.

44 And the Philistine said to David, Come to me, and I will give thy flesh unto the fowls of the air, and to the beasts of the field.

45 Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied.

46 This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.

47 And all this assembly shall know that the LORD saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the LORD'S, and he will give you into our hands.

>muh context

Donkeys, emissions, stallions: you know the score.

What's the argument here?

Not as accurate as other versions. Good language though.

And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

Be sure to gibs dat money to da church

>context isnt important

...

>Though I have searched repeatedly, I have not found what I was looking for. Only one out of a thousand men is virtuous, but not one woman!

Ecclesiastes 7:28

Really makes you think.

Actually he did if you look at the context correctly. The Greek word used for enemy denotes a private enemy as in opposition to a public enemy (t. Schmitt). Otherwise, imprecatory psalms such as Psalm 35 would we without sense. In fact, I would content that it is your Christian duty to protect the weak against the public enemy.

And on topic Psalm 35:

When Jonathan became anointed by running into battle.

Very much a realization of the Holy Grail - which is Sangraal.
If you've seen the DiVinci Code then you know that sangraal isn't a word, it's two. San Graal = Holy Grail. Sang Raal = Divine Blood.
Holy Grail = something attainable my a man in life.
Divine Blood = something bestowed by god.

For Jonathan, it was both. The realization of Sangraal.

Isaiah 43:11.
"I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour."

Have you even read the bible?

What fucking loan lol??? Are you all actually THIS delusional? I show up and earn that money every day, lmfao. Even in the most objective standards I still EARNED every cent by doing the work. It is no loan, it is no handout. Lol absolutely delusional.

holy shit not even that guy, but youre fucking retarded

Ok kid. Just direct deposit, hey thanks

I don't care about the Old Testament

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love" 1 John 4:8

>tfw Veeky Forums's been invaded by edgy fedora tipping teenagers
>tfw there will never be a good thread about literature ever again

Ecclesiastics has a terrible translation in the King James version.

there's definitely something unsavory about catholic pedos posting these little cutsey anime pics

No, its just its not an argument. I know the context and providing it can even show a worse picture of the account. Here the Israelite soldiers have generously spared the lives of Midianite women and children and hardass Moses says to kill all of them except the lolis which they can keep as sex slaves. Also we can discern that these indeed are children because he says kill every male among the little ones which naturally implies the female little ones and the women children are the same. And in the Talmud it is further elaborated what sort of sex practices were practiced under Mosaic law corroborating that these are children being kept in sexual bondage.

Sang Raal is more like royal blood tho.

Can't remember the verse name. But it's the Armor of God.

kill yourself retard

Genuinely the most appalling opinion I've seen on this board all week. And that's a real accomplishment.

>The perfect woman is a higher type of human than the perfect man, and also something much more rare.

What's wrong, did I pound your girl?

>Pray for those who persecute you

Pretty sure that immdiately smashes your idea. Cause the people doing the persecuting, especially back then, were most definetly a public enemy.

> I would content that it is your Christian duty to protect the weak against the public enemy.

Not arguing against that. but it should be done nonviolently.

Are you seriously okay with "meaningless" having any equivalence to the original Hebrew"hevel"?

Please user. Enlighten me why you think King James does Ecclesiastics any justice instead of resorting to logical fallacies and personal attacks. Refute my point directly.

biblehub.com/greek/2190.htm

One google search shows that's bullshit

>describes a person resolved to inflict harm

>properly, an enemy; someone openly hostile (at enmity), animated by deep-seated hatred.

>using K-On! to promote attacks on abortion clinics
Those fucking faggots have gone too far this time. In the words of Jamesu Joisu, Anime is above politics.

Well, meaningless still retains the meaning of hevel, so I'm not too sure what you're on about. It's very hard to get much closer than that in translation. The meaning is retained and still there. But I'm sure that you're much more knowledgeable than the dozens of scholars that worked on the translation, as well as all of the church officials who checked and accepted it.

Translation aside, the KJV Ecclesiastes is absolutely sublime. I can genuinely not understand why anyone would have an issue with it.

>want to be christian
>can't bring myself

I don't know what's wrong with me. It just doesn't feel important, I try to care but can't.

Proverbs 8:22-23: The LORD possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old. I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was.

Micah 6:8 He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

Every church has failed to connect with the modern era, god is dead.

A new church needs to rise that isn't a meme. I'd be first on board to reinstate a militant fascist religious order in Europe.

Verily I say to you today you will be in paradise Luke 23:43

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid. Mark 16:8

>I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves.

Osama was the good guy.

Careful. Utopias and economic idealism is inevitably this.
youtu.be/0Z760XNy4VM

John 15:18
If the world hate you, ye know that the world hated me before it hated you

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Checked. Nice high quads OP. Proverbs 20:4

>A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.

Speaking of, how's your novel going, Veeky Forums? :^)

san graal

>Speaking of, how's your novel going, Veeky Forums?
I'm actually thinking of making my novel into something of an audiobook, a hypnotic one with encouraged use of psychedelics.

If I do actually get it done, Veeky Forums will be a place to tell.

Don't leave out /x/ my man.

More like Veeky Forums's been invaded by /pol/ fags. You only need to look at the position of the bible in the top 100 to see this. And the fucking Bible threads everywhere.

Luke, cant pinpoint exactly where right now, its when Jesus is about to be betrayed and tortured so he is praying and his last words are

>Father, take this cup (suffering) away from me, but your will not mine, shall be done

He is the son of God and is experiencing excruciating pain but instead of begging for salvation from the pain he wants God's plan to be done no matter what because he believes him

The "I shall fear no evil, because God is at my side" or something like that is fucking inspirational too " I shall fear no evil " makes anyone feel more courageous

>People hating the bible in 2017
>The most stolen, sold and read book of all time
>The backbone of western culture and civilization
>Still backing themselves up in edgy atheist nihilistic autistic individual relativist moral which is the cancer of post-modern culture
>shitting up threads just because "the Bible is just fanfic and is like any other religion wahhh"
>Somehow christfags are /pol/acks and the problem

I like how Goliath is trying to make some dank bantz but David has no idea how to banter and he just goes in way too hot with
>come at me bro I'm gonna fucking feed you to the animals GOD BROUGHT YOU TO ME SPECIFICALLY TO WRECK YOUR SHIT
his voice probably cracked

This was the text they read at my grandmothers funeral, gets me every time.

Ecclesiastes 3

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;