How do you write a sex scene?

I'm a kissless virgin and I have too many things to do to put in effort to change that, but I want to figure out how to write sex scenes for my stories despite that. Do you guys have any tips and guides?

You should only write what you know. Male virgins have no business setting pen to paper desu

>they went ahead and wallowed in each other's excrement through the only sanctioned sociocultural adapter

>virgin
>want to write a sex scene
Just don't. Having it implied is perfectly fine. Nobody wants to read a sex scene from someone who has absolutely no idea what sex is like.

Remember everything feels like bags of sand

I don't know what to tell you. I could say you should hire a pro and get your nut, but I'm assuming that sort of casual encounter isn't necessarily what you would be writing about. So maybe, jut read some more "high class" erotic novels and take those as inspiration.

Hiring someone wouldn't give him any idea of what sex is really like though. The emotional aspect is the biggest part of it, and you won't have that if you're fucking an escort.

do a Houellebecq and imitate porn

Which is the entire point of the second half of that comment.

Just some chit-chat how you insert fallos to vulva and pretend that it's the most luminous and wonderful intercourse in the entire universe

I'd just skip it. Moral and intellectual decadence is what it is. Collect your hyperbolic adjectives and embed them to the rest of the story.

Holy shit.

This thread is why I keep coming to this board.

This thread kinda makes me wonder if having sex automatically makes you a pro of sex scenes.

can I at least be shown what a good sex scene looks like?

What if the escort is REALLY good and REALLY loves her job

all the ones in gravity's rainbow are pretty top class

inb4 someone posts the shiteating scene but cmon you can't imagine a way to write a scene like that any better than he does

>oh yeah baby fuck my ass, she farted

these make me wonder if the only memorable sex scenes are scatological in nature

Don't write a sex scene, it is an overdone cliché that almost always falls flat except for readers who are teenagers or women who like to read 50 shades of grey.

does that mean erotica is always garbage?

Honestly just write what you think it is like. It would be fun.

She may love her job, but you definitely won't love her.

Sex and violence are things which the idea of the thing happening is much more intense/frightening than the actual thing. So just hint at this stuff, do not try to engage directly with it. Having sex might not help either, when people are reading your works they won't recall the act itself but their (extrapolated and overdrive) ideas about the act. Whatever you try to do will either be too softcore or too hardcore. A mighty exception is if you're intending to write exactly like a 18th century pervert, then it's ok.

Yes.

Nah, just write it as clumsy and naively as possible.
And in first person.
You'll give it your YOU

Not for me earthly passions, for I've already crossed the threshold of eternity

...

I usually go to ask reddit and copy some of the stories there. they always have someone lying about doing the freaky deeky

not like these