Start cooking dinner

I also do this! And when I make my dog's dinner I sing the steps of what I'm doing to her. This... This is a no judgment zone, right?

I usually just listen to Metallica or Megadeth. Used to listen to more but those two became my cooking music at some point. Feels kinda empty without it.

>takes the edge off of eating alone.

Yup.

Fucking hate Tool tho.

I like to drink and sing while I cook. Nothing more relaxing than that.

>start cooking
>imaging I have a bf to cook for
>end up making too much

Post location, will move in to be gf and we can cook together.

I get stoned and use 100% focus to not cut off a finger or forget a step

You must do that a lot.

You'd be a good dad

I do this with a lot of activities, including cooking. If teaching is supposed to help you reinforce your own skills and knowledge, I imagine this is a pretty healthy habit.

Are you a girl?

A girl with a feminine penis!

I do it too.
It helps me organize my thoughts.

Nope. I even do segments explaining little bits of history. Hell, I enter into all sorts of soliloquies about random subjects to an imaginary audience. I need help.

cute tb h

Kys faggot

Sounds pretty cool desu user, keep doing it!

My kitchen is small and designed by a fool. Cant wait to move i can barely stand being in there. I hate living in the city reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

>make bf’s favorite food
>eat alone

I do the exact same thing but I pretend I'm hosting a cookery show for beginners.

Nah but when I’m cooking alone I put on some electroswing, down a few shots of liquor, and dance as I cook. Well, swing dance so I really just do it in between steps while I wait for things to simmer or sear or whatever.

Yes, very real female.

i scream uncontrollably as i cook

Fat?

>explain x concept to imaginary people
I do this in the shower, doing dishes/cleaning or if I'm trying to fall asleep. Anything from the meta of a video game to world history. It's really soothing. I'm not even ronery it's just nice.

Nope, just below average weight for my height.

Not that user but I live in Miami.

If you arent first user then sorry but I dont care.
Need lonely older post-rock bf to cook with.

You all know Tinder exists right?

why the fuck does he have to be older you lazy piece of shit

Meh, was just curious if you lived in Miami too. I'm also older, lonely and post-rock. But, yeah, carry on...

She's probably older too...

As backwards as it seems i'd rather meet someone from Veeky Forums than tinder, apps/ sites specifically for dating are gross.

Says in his first post that hes 34, learn to read.

ever since fml guy I always have a beer or a glass of wine while cooking or doing the dishes
it's infinitely more chill to cook like that
together with some nice music I reach 240% comfy level, a blanket appears around me, and I literally start floating around the kitchen

Maybe they just have a thing for older men? Maybe they're oldish themselves?

Funny enough I actually used to live in FL but moved about a year ago.

Suit yourself I guess. Tinder works for me whenever I want to get laid though. If I wanted an actual connection with someone I tend to go for people I meet in my everyday life.

Most women do, you really start pulling in the ladies who are 18-21 when you hit 23-25.

What part? I'm not that happy here. Trying to learn Spanish because I'm the only white guy and feel like I'm in a foreign country. But, it's where work is so whatever. I'd probably be lonely in some midwestern town too.

I wish I could drink and cook but I'm /thinspo/ and it's too many calories.

Is at least one of you in london?

Yeah I dont go for just one offs, getting laid on its own has no appeal to me, id rather just masturbate.

Bout 30 minutes south of clearwater. Yeah its like that all over the state, except for the panhandle I reckon. Worked at a mcdonalds as my first job and most people in the kitchen spoke spanish, I learned enough to manage them.

Drink liquor then?

oh user how young you must be
see it's easy
you drink more and eat less
set goals like finishing the whole bottle before you finish the meal
or but be careful, I got properly dickered once and the whole kitchen ended up being a fucking mess and I only realized how bad the food was on the second meal
>was fun tho

>start masturbating
>imagine I'm performing on a cam show and my audience is tipping well

I'm not the only one, right?

If anything that's worse for me since it's more about the comfiness than actually getting drunk. So a lighter beer seems best for me. But have two beers and that's 300 calories. My TDEE is like 1600.

But I get hungry! A bottle of wine is like more calories than I can have all day.

I do this a lot. I sometimes record it too, like a shitty youtube cooking show. I just watch it once I'm drinking and laugh, then delete it. I tried doing OC cook-alongs here a few times but it never really went well, hard to compete with "for me its the best fast food sandwhich" and other memes and shit.
Might do an OC one more time this weekend.

I'm also over 30 and lonely. I've never tried tinder because I don't really like the idea of STD's, and also don't get much out of one nighters. I'm not in a large city either, here in Canada, so I have a general idea of who lives near me...Needless to say, there aren't really many single women worth dating. The amount that have kids after age 19 is probably like 70%. Zero interest in hanging around some girl with some other guys kid.

>Zero interest in hanging around some girl with some other guys kid.
At least you aren't a cuck.

Upside of being 30+ and /foreveralone/ is you get to keep all your money.

I feel that. I'm not suggesting you take shots or anything. Make a non-sweet mix drink to get extra mileage out of the drink and not get tipsy so fast. Could do something like a mojito without the simple syrup for example. You can sip on that like a beer.

It's like you people have never heard of expensive prostitutes

I have. Too afraid. Not sure where to shop either.

>hard to compete with "for me its the best fast food sandwhich" and other memes and shit.
Please keep trying user. The board needs more threads like yours.

Tinder is perfectly valid for finding dating material. Just be clear you aren't looking for one time things in either your bio or early in conversation so no one is wasting their time. It's how I met adorably awkward gf.

Comfy gf to cook with is more appealing than sex with a stranger to me.

>hard to compete with "for me its the best fast food sandwhich"
user don't be a bitch and make the OC cookalongs
even I got a few going and they're fun, you don't even have to post while you're actually cooking, juts take pictures of the progress

and I'm just gonna force my meme from the last one until it catches on I swear

That's gay

i'll do a couple this weekend, haven't had 2 days off in a row in ages.

what are you gonna make user :3

faggot

if I give you (You)s
will you die?

I'm not really sure... I was thinking squash soup or borscht. Any maybe a beef stew as well. Something I can put into containers and freeze/bring to night shifts to keep me warm

I’m looking forward to this! Please do the beef stew

/beefstew/

Consider it on the list. Saturday or maybe Friday if i get enough sleep

Online. Or ask at a hotel.

Online i've looked into, sketchy as fuck. Hotel not sure who to ask. Sometimes I see girls that might be prostitutes in hotel bars and stuff but..

I can imagine having my tutorial

>HELLO WILDCATS!! ITS 'HOW TO COOK LIKE A COMPLETE FUCKING RETARD' .. I'M BYYAAAAAAACK!!
>whole kitchen is aflame 20 seconds in
>end video abruptly at 00:26

Use reputable agencies, they exist, find reviews and stuff. The amount of university aged girls supplementing costs with escorting is unbelievable.

How do you find a reputable agency?

Try buying one of those girls a drink and talking to her.
If you're lucky she won't even charge you money for it.

I fuckup every time

See that's why you pay them, then they have to pretend they like you.

I'm 36 and single, I evolved into making a massive meal each Sunday while blasting music which usually gives me at least 10 portions so I can throw it in the freezer and be happy knowing I've got nutritious home made meals to heat up after my 12 beers a night without fear of burning my place down.

>depression
The book 'Feeling Good' by MD David Burns can help. It's about cognitive-behavioral therapy, a successful treatment for depression.

Link:
sendspace.com/file/vedhl0

>Upside of being 30+ and /foreveralone/ is you get to keep all your money.
That's assuming you have any. Not that user but I learned about that shit the hard way, so I lost the dosh and am basically starting over. I feel like being a kissless virgin would have been better.

Only way it's better is if you have friends that are also into cooking and you get together, drink, listen to music, and cook together.

Keep trying man, not enough actual cooking content on here. If you're really having trouble, post to fml guy's threads, they at least stay up. That's what I've been doing, although I haven't had time to put any of my projects up on there in a while.

Holy shit same lmao

Underrated

>Cooking dinner
>Imagine I have a girlfriend I'm cooking for

She took half?

I have a friend who cooks pizza and in doing so, imagines himself being on a study session with a girl he likes late at night, stopping to make a pizza to satiate their hunger, serving it as he claims "sorry, it's quite bad but at least it's something" when he is actually quite confident about it and that the girl ends up loving it and starts liking him as he eats his food. Haha, that dude.

A feminine penis and a cute gunt?

I always imagine myself cooking for someone or something, whether it is for an imagined girl, my own cooking show or just a group of people. I explain everything I do in my head and answer questions that people might ask during the process.

how would you answer "user, where do you think we are?"