How do I make vegan pepperoni pizza that'll taste like it is real

Can confirm that, my father, who usually happily shovels into him anything that tastes sweet, tried a cookie at some vegan fair, for years he kept telling us about the terrible taste.

>imitation vegan food
Just be kind and kill me. Saitan and tempeh are the only things they worship that I like.

Use real pepperonis and tell him they're vegan.

Dude, at least wait until after his birthday. Nigga don't deserve to have his kids preach at him on his birthday. Get him a real fuckin pizza, and pull your shenannigans later.

Making someone vegan junkfood =/= preaching. If the dad is masculine he'll appreciate the gesture.

How, exactly?

Nah man fuck that. It's not a masculinity/femininity thing. Being secure in your gender has nothing to do with not wanting people to mess with your food.

Dude's dad wants pizza. user should just give him a pizza. If he wants to bring up the whole vegan thing let him do that afterward. Last thing I'd want on my birthday is someone making a weird pizza and wanting to go on about being vegan.

>Vegan ruining his dad's birthday to have an excuse to preach

This is the reason everybody hates vegans

fuck

purge

hi im vegan

...

this OP.

One word: EPIC! Only the great meatcuck could have figured out this masterful ruse.

This is why I fucking hate vegans, I would have no problem if these faggots would just eat their stupid shit and try to imitate foods in private but they always have to push their stupid gay ass fucking autismal food on to other people. Why the fuck would you feed your dad something disgusting on his birthday? Stop being a little cunt and eat your vegan hotdog pizza lasagnas in private and shut the fuck up about it instead of trying to push your weaponized soy on everyone else. Fucking faggot.

Veganism was a mistake.

>The year of OUR LORD 2017
>still reading Maddox
ebin.

Reeee get the fuck off the computer and give me REAL pizza! Fuck you asshole trying to do something nice for me! I hate new things!

That's not the point.

His dad probably wants a bloody pepperoni pizza, why did he goes to the extent of searching for something that tastes similar just to feed him something vegan?
I mean, if his father were vegan I can understand the gesture, but I don't think this is the case and OP should feel ashamed for don't give his dad something that he surely deserves on his fucking birthday.

I can enjoy and appreciate vegan food sometimes but I think its retarded to emulate things that are not meant to be vegan,
Vegan lasagna? its just a fucking lasagna without meat or animal products, why do they try to imitate ham or the like? just for the visual appeal?

The only way I can think of to do this would be to get consent from the pig to let you kill it. That would technically make the pepperoni vegan I think. Or maybe use a pig that died in the wild of natural causes. It’s all about intent.

your parents should've planned an abortion. you seem to be a horrible son/daughter/xer.

this is excellent bait

Yes, vegans are too stupid to trick anyone

I hope he slips some pepperoni under your pizza and when you scream at him he just says "I was just trying to trick you into thinking you were eating a real vegan pizza son."

Vegans are broken human beings and they can never recover

>You can't eat what I dont want you to
Tell me where in life you lost this sense of control user, where did your father touch you?

You are not going to successfully replicate the pepperoni. Meat has a specific muscle structure and flavour that you just can't get with plants. Even the cheese will be shit for someone who regularly eats pizza.

At best your dad will say thank you and on the inside say "my kid is so hopeless even the pepperoni has a weird texture and taste" then when he finds out you tried to deceive him on his birthday he'll get pissed.

Good luck

Veganism is a mental illness.

Vegans forfeit their ability to achieve gustatory bliss.

Lying to your father on his birthday? You're a disgrace.

why

Vegan food's okay when they aren't trying desperately to pretend to be other foods. you can make good dessert with avocado or nuts for fatty/creamy textures.

>vegan makes someone elses birthday about themselves
Why am I not surprised.

>How do I make vegan pepperoni pizza that'll taste like it is real
You can't. Meat "substitutes" are still nowhere near the taste or texture of the real thing.
>I'm trying to trick my dad into thinking he's eating real pepperoni pizza on his birthday
He'll know if it's fake; just give him a regular pepperoni pizza and let him enjoy his birthday.

you're gonna get disowned

>Vegan lasagna? its just a fucking lasagna without meat
without meat and cheese. they use their fake 20 ingredient simulated cheese gratings which doesn't actually taste like cheese.

It's more that people that try to make normal foods vegan are not cooks and just make bad food

Have you considered not trying to be deceptive?

In my experience, tricking people just makes them want to disagree with you regardless of whether you're right.

This. They can't even fool themselves into not actually wanting meat.

OP you're trying to make a trap out of a bear

they sell some pretty decent fake mozzarella and fake pepperoni at whole foods. if you're dad's a normie or a brainlet he probably won't be able to tell the difference

If his dad's not yet vegan, then maybe he SHOULD be vegan, so OP is just looking out for him.

Vegans of Veeky Forums

discord.gg/dTsF4T

If you don't have an account, make one

Fuckn amen brother

Love

this is the closest thing i've found for vegan pepperoni. homemade stuff is quite obviously Not Pepperoni.

lightlife.com/products/smart-deli-pepperoni

>vegan
>dad
Don't you mean mom?

>I'm trying to trick my dad into thinking he's eating real pepperoni pizza on his birthday

You're a fuckin' asshole.

youtube.com/watch?v=xOgFlmDUle0

you are a terrible son and your father should be ashamed of you

Enter Beyond Meat, a Los Angeles-based company who makechicken-free, gluten-freechickenstrips thattastejust like the real thing. Seriously. I had heard about Beyond Meat last year, when famous foodie Mark Bittman was fooled by thechicken-free strips in ablind tastetest.

Its possible if you can cook. My wife can't taste the difference between my seitan and her chicken.