How can I make my pizza healthier? I know this might seem like a joke but it's not. I need pizza to live...

>make it yourself
>roll out base as thin as you can get away with
>make own pizza sauce with no added sugars or oils, use sparingly
>top with more veges (onion, bell pepper, tomato) than meat, use thin slices of pepperoni
>basically no cheese, just the thinnest smattering that will keep the toppings on

And then eat less. No one needs a whole pizza per day.

>I need pizza to live.

Are you too shy to at least take brisk walks around your neighbor? Maybe early in the morning or something if you're worried about people looking at you?

You're six inches shorter than me and weigh three times as much. I can only imagine you waddling around looking like you're partially melted with all the fat hanging off you.

Not a fucking surprise you don't have the willpower to stop eating shit. Not a surprise that despite being 500 pounds, you've barely lost seven in over a month, either.

>people responded seriously to this

>I need at least 1 full pepperoni pizza a day with ranch.

Just imagine this tub of lard at the supermarket checkout with 7 frozen pizzas and a bottle of ranch.

2500 calories a day, bitch.
If you want pizza to fit your macros then make pizza fit your fucking macros. There's 700 calories in a Totino's Party Pizza. There's 1500 calories in a Red Baron so maybe split the pizza into thirds or quarters.

IF YOU EAT 2000-2500 CALORIES A DAY
(HIGHER END IF YOU WORK OUT)
YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT
COUNT YOUR CALORIES
OVERLOOK NOTHING
IT'S THAT GOD DAMN SIMPLE

If this isn't fake, look into water fasting. Its far easier and far more effective weight loss for obese people than following a strict diet.

Sorry but what are macros?

Make your pizza fit your macrons? What?

I prefer dominoes. Stop being mean to me while I'm trying to better myself. it's inhuman even on Veeky Forums and you should be ASHAMED of yourself you garbage terrible vain human being!

1 pizza a day? How the fuck are you expecting to lose weight? How about you exercise the degree of self control that the rest of the world manages to do and eat pizza like once a fortnight, tubby

hmm. I think I could maybe do this yeah but only in the very early morning

Don't be so tough on him.

Tbh nobody really cares in the gym. Everybody is too busy focused on themselves, at worst someone might stare for a few seconds. Gyms tend to have a lot of nice people willing to help you :)

Put laxatives in it and stay in the bathroom for the rest of the day

I wish I could say I had a good experience. I'm not OP but I am fat. Nowhere near his level (I am 5'10 and 280lbs, down from 330lbs 5 months ago). I don't want people's pitty but I gained 150lbs after my mom died and became an alcoholic. Weight was never an issue for me before. I wanted to go to the gym and start lifting weight/doing cardio but especially weights because I know that can have huge benefits, help you retain muscle mass, not to mention is great for burning calories obviously. Multiple times probably like 5 I got laughed at by some super fit attractive women and go teased by some fit stereotypical chads so I stopped going. Now I just eat 1500 calories a day of mostly fish, eggs, veggies, fruits and only drink water, and spend an hour on the treadmill I bought after my negative gym experience. Fuck the gym and fuck fitness people. You can be fit without being a self absorbed self righteous cunt. All people like them should have acid thrown in their face to take away what they hold dear the most their identity.

Whoa shit got dark real fast. What the fuck is wrong with you bro? Get counselling

Fuck some of these people. I think what you’re doing is great. It’s effort. If you keep putting forward effort and appreciate yourself for doing it you’ll get there. When I lost about 70 lbs I did it through small goals. 10lbs at a time. Any less is tough because weigh fluctuates. I weighed myself like 10 times a day which helped me be aware of every decision. Stairs instead of escalators, etc - which is maybe too much right now. But fuck these people you aren’t going to be chicken and rice and broccoli 2000 calories and three times a week to the gym overnight. Small steps. Progress. Accomplishment. And from yourself: recognition. You’ll make it.

This, for all but the most meathead gyms. Do you have a Planet Fitness? That's their whole deal is being a non-meathead gym.

That being said, make your own pizzas, at a slightly smaller size than you get from Dominos. You can get pre-made crusts and sauce, and swap out the cheese and pepperoni for low-fat options. It won't taste as good, but the whole idea here is to ween yourself off the Dominos every day. Also look into Overeaters Anonymous or some sort of support network.

>Gyms
>A lot of nice people

More like a lot of people pretending to be nice. For the ultimate patrician a home gym is the only solution.

I want to tell you a story. I was given up for adoption by my biological parents when I was an infant. I was raised in multiple foster homes and sexually abused frequently. I am 24, have $850 to my name, dropped out of college and in May of 2016 I was diagnosed with HIV.

Your situation is not even worth pitying.

I'm sorry. fucking hell. how did you get HIV?

I lost 100lbs in few months OP, no loose skin either.

You want to know how?

2 Weeks of nothing but water & black coffee
1 day with only fruit, vegetable soup & multivitamin
2 days with only soup & multivitamin
4 days regular food & multivitamin

Alternating
2 weeks fasting
1 week eating

Until I lost all my fat.

My cravings for junk food went away after the first fast and I've kept the weight off for 2 years with literally no willpower required.

By being a faggot obviously

I got stabbed with an infected needle by some junkie fuck. I live in the shitholes of shitholes. I can't even say I got infected fucking for cash or sleeping around with tinder dates for fun. The doctors refused to believe me initially when tI told them what happened

Try making cauliflower crusts?

Enjoy your unnecessary inferior gains due to the the weight lost from starving your body
>nb4 hurrr durrr its not starvation if I choose to do it

Are you under the impression that you can gain any substantial muscle mass while cutting?

As far as I could tell, I barely lost any strength

hot sauce. if youre anything like how i used to be, you eat quickly and once youre out of food you go get more food to eat. repeat. hot spicy food takes long to eat because your mouth will fucking burn. youll take a break to drink water, get full off water, and not want to eat any more. thats how i broke my bad eating habits

also eating spicy foods causes a dopamine rush. if you dont like hot stuff just muscle through it and eventually youll like it

Oh... oh dear god.

Please go look at the Veeky Forums sticky.

look for foods that are high volume and low calorie. homemade soups with whatever spices you like are a great way to start. also, buy a huge bag of popcorn kernels from amazon. you can pop em in the microwave in a paper bag. no oil, no salt, very healthy. 1/3rd cup of kernels is like 150 calories and is a pretty big amount

You can eat anything you want, as long as you watch your portions. You need to change your lifestyle. Removing soda is a good thng, but you need to go commit harder. Completely remove chips/snacks from weekdays.

Then you'll want to start skipping meals. If you eat 3 times a day, move to 2. The first 2 or 3 weeks are gonna be hard, but eventually you will adapt and will stop focusing so much on food. The key is that you need to keep yourself busy.

Best of luck user, I really hope you follow through with it. If you keep up with it religiously, you'll get the weight down in no time. It'll be tough, but I'm cheering you on.

Semi-related question.

Am I retarded for making pizzas that have literally nothing but black beans and tomato paste on them?

I have a can of black beans with literally every dinner I make. Is there anything I should be worried about?

That is not pizza my friend

>a can of black beans with literally every dinner
>Is there anything I should be worried about?
If you're not a hermit you should be worry of your farts.

Why the fuck are you wishing him luck? I am the one with HIV for fucks sake

Farts aren't bad, but I spend three times as long wiping as I do shitting.

How do I shit better, friends?

Ulillillia postig because it seems pertinent to the topic.

youtu.be/H2A1qYpp4HA

>Brisk walks around his neighbor
Yeah I'm pretty sure he'd be worried about his neighbor looking at him.

Are you not the same person? It's kind of easy to distinguish your posts given the fact that, for whatever reason, you press the enter key after every post you reply to.

NO

You're going to have to give up on the ranch dressing, but a good alternative would be to make a tortilla pizza.

Just buy some wholewheat tortilla wraps. Take one, and spread pizza sauce over it, then top with mozzarella, or cheddar, or a mix of whatever cheese you like. I'd say to try cut out the pepperoni, but if you really want some, put that on too, and then just bake it in the oven until the cheese is melted and golden.

>falling for obvs bait thread

>down 7 lbs

You haven't lost anything, probably just weighed yourself after taking a shit. Stop eating pizza you fat fuck and get outside. When is the last time you saw your dick you fat piece of shit?

>495 pounds
>225 kg in normal measurement system
what the actual fuck

Kek Jesus H Christ. It's Jason Bourne

I'm going to respond to you as if this isn't bait, from one fatboi to another. You just have to stop. Never get a pizza again in your whole life. Don't get any of the things you regularly ate ever again. Just like a recovering alcoholic, just one drink can ruin your whole life all over again. If you want to actually lose weight at all you are going to have to reduce your caloric intake by a lot, and considering how huge you are I can't even imagine how many thousands of calories you eat. Start counting your carbs, drink a lot of water, continue eating vegetables. Go through and throw away all of your junk food, unless it is unopened and non-perishable, in which case go donate it to a food bank or something. Learn how to cook, learn how to use spices and make things taste good without needing a massive fuckload of fat and sugar. Start mealplanning, prep a weeks worth of meals at a time. Avoid sugars, even naturally occurring ones.

You will absolutely hate your life for a while when you make the huge calorie cut, but you will just have to practice some self-control and get through it. Start becoming more active, you don't have to go get a gym membership, but just walk more. As you lose weight it will become a lot easier to be active, so as you become more mobile, get more active. I 100% believe that you can save yourself, and there are a lot of resources online, especially on [spoiler]reddit[/spoiler], that can help you plan meals and figure out what your caloric intake should be.

Well lucky for you you've let yourself go so much you honestly probably could continue to eat one pizza and one bag of chips a day and lose weight at least til you get down to like 300. Thats all you should eat though, or better yet, just stop eating pizza you fuck and eat a bunch of healthy food and feel more full and less like you want to die.

>3kgs in more than a month at megablimp size
you worthless fucking fat fuck
try harder, you should be dropping three times that at your level of obesity

Ranch is amazing. Its not as common in Australia as burgerland though

dont listen to these assholes criticism, but consider that ANYONE can live without food for a day. So instead of trying to make pizza healthier, try to take one day of a break. saute or steam or roast as many vegetables as you can eat, eat a steak or roast a chicken. breaking the habit doesn't have to mean fully giving it up, just make tiny incremental changes.

bullshit. anyone who has ever gone to a gym knows this shit is nonsense. no one gives a fuck about who is fat and who isn't, no one teases you.

I got to a gym that is basically 40% black teens and maybe they sometimes get too loud or hang out on the equipment, but no one is trying to talk shit about the fat guy improving himself.

the farts?

Remove the dough.
Try low carb pizza (and diet).

Whole what crust, no oil, no meat, no cheese besides scattered globs of fermented nut stuff or tofu/bean/nut stuff.

You don't need pizza to live. You need to ask yourself why you are so depressed / fucked up that you need to find comfort in food.

Stop the pizza, start eating chicken, rice and veggies. No soda at all. Just water. Stick to max 2k calories a day and fight through the hunger.

If you don't have the willpower for that.. well.. enjoy all the health issues you'll have to face in the future.

If you have a Trader Joe's near you they sell cauliflower pizza crusts in their frozen food section. You can also make your own but I'm guessing you're too lazy for that.

Lmfao
>got stabbed by a infected needle
That's why you don't talk to homeless fucks user the more you know

It costs a lot of energy just to hold onto that weight. OP could stuff himself all day with any whole plant foods besides nuts and lose weight.

Fat guy here too and I definitely got smirking and looks from the chads when I got near the free weights section.

replace pizza with veggie bean chili and bread.

Fuck them. They can make fun of obese people, but NOT in a gym. You can't make fun of an obese person getting fit, op. Show the world that you're better than them. Good luck.

Have you thought about going the other and trying to get bigger?

People pay to watch super obese eat on cam shows and some fag will eventually pay you so he can suck your dick.

I’m sorry about your bad experience, but you sound like a real bitter fuck. Whenever I see a fat guy at the gym I think to myself “good on him, he’s gonna make it”. The obnoxious fucks at the gym are going to be the loudest - there are people cheering for you but you don’t know it.

I'm sure it's scary to be seen in public working out but, most people will admire your initiative and support you. Don't let a couple of douchebags ruin it all for you.

You dont know shit

Maybe give up on the ranch and use low fat cheese fat ass.

At 495lbs i reckon you can lose weight still eating pizza and chips everyday

you'll probably have to very slowly come down and weight or you'll give up. I don't expect you got to your current condition by having any willpower.

You should see a therapist and I'm serious. You're trying to justify the need for an entire god damn pizza and a small bag of chips.

I'm sorry man but you really need some help and what you're asking isn't what you should be asking.

Sorry fatanon, you're not going to make it. Better start shopping for an extra large coffin

you're really going to get over only liking pizza and chips dude, sorry to burst your bubble.
Try to go on walks for the first 3 months, restrict your diet to around 2000 calories a day. Try to eat lower calorie food like veggies to fill you up without all the excessive calories in chips and pizza. After you lose like 100 pounds, start going to the gym, start lifting (you'll probably have great legs by then) and doing 20 minutes of cardio per day.
If you really really cant live without pizza, eat it only 1 time per week. But the biggest thing will be your willpower to make this work. Good luck

who gives a fuck dude.
I'm not the leanest either (5'5 and 170lbs), but in the years i've been going to the gym, you can sometimes see people give you looks, but it's up to you to succeed, get more muscular and leaner, it'll all pay itself off over time. Besides, if you train purely for strenght, the fatties usually lift enormous amounts of weight after some time practising. You can rub that in the skinny boy's faces.

>5'6 at 495lbs

Dude, you must be a fucking sphere. Honestly man, at your weight you could probably eat an entire little caesars with ranch per day and still lose weight.

>Do you have a Planet Fitness?

Oh yeah, send the guy who can't stop eating pizza to a gym that has pizza mondays

Just have classic pizzas senpai

Tomato with cheese and basil and some olive oil

Easy and cheap to make

whens the last time you were even in a gym?

you could eat 3 large pizzas a day and still lose weight. count your calories dude. don't lie to yourself. you have no idea what normal portions look like. you don't have to starve yourself to lose weight, especially at your size.

>op takes his fat ass to the gym
>they're serving pizza today!!

make your own. it's really pretty easy. crust is naturally pretty thin (aka low calories), make or use a healthy tomato sauce (not much added salt/sugar), can get away with just half a pound of cheese per pizza, then cover in veggies.

I dump think jumping jacks are good for your joints at that weight. Your best exercise is probably walking, a lot of walking.

how are you still even alive?

Dude, going to the gym as a fat man should never be embarassing. Everybody fucking knows why you're there. If you do dumb shit, they'll take one look at you and say "well sure, he's fat." And most importantly, as you lose weight (noticeably) the gymnuts will likely take note and comment on it and give you words of encouragement. Talk about a boost to your self esteem (a deficiency of which I honestly suspect is the number one contributor to obesity).

If you don't mind me asking, how can you afford to eat that much every day?

If you absolutely need that concoction, go for thin crust, light cheese, and a low calorie ranch. You also also probably see a therapist and dietitian to see why you got this big in the first place.

You want real advice? Fuck what these other anons say, I got you.

Pizza flavor isn't about the carbs. The sugar. The oil. You don't need that shit. Pizza flavor is oregano and tomato paste. That's fucking it. If you love pizza so much, make food with oregano and tomato paste. Some parmasean as well, in addition to your favorite toppings (hopefully veggies). Put it on chicken breasts. Put it on eggs. Start losing weight.

>Whole wheat dough
>topped with tons of veggies
>reduced salt sauce
>low fat cheese.

Inheritance

No you didn't, that's all in your head

>495lbs
you're like a little babby