One small pring doesn't seem like a lot

One small pring doesn't seem like a lot...
One small pring, work with the time you got
Soon one small pring becomes two...
After two perhaps another few
Then one small pring is not so small, one small pring can be the biggest thing of all

Quads confirm that once you pop, you can't stop.

Lordie I wouldn't be single
If it weren't for the day's first Pringle
I pop, don't stop then eat the whole can
A man I am, but can't even say that
It's been six years since I've seen my nutsack

Sour Cream, Ranch, and Barbecue too
My habits suggest I love them more than you
For if I weren't so fat, you could love me dear
And we would be happy for many a year

You could cook me kale, quinoa and soy
And call me your healthy little boy toy
I wouldn't feel bad being naked with you
If only I'd stop eating Pringles, how true!

If this be error and upon me proved
Then I never ate Pringles, nor have pounds to lose.

seahorse fucker

I hate when bitches duckface, but love me some bugle claws.

Now do a version of Open Up Your Eyes.

It's time you learned a lesson
It's time that you understand
Don't keep your fries from anybody else
In this or any other land...

I once hoped for friendship
To find a plate with some free fries
But those were the childish wishes
Of someone who was blind

Let me grab some friiiiieeees
See the world from where I stand
Me, among the mighty
You, caged at my command

Let me grab some friiieeees
Let me just take them with my hand
It's time to grow up and get wise
Come now, little one....let me grab some fries

is this a Veeky Forums raid?

Obviously not, this scansion is for shit

Bugles taste too weird for me