emma bovary cannot love charles because he is "dull and boring." she cannot intellectually connect with him. so she goes and elopea with three other romantic men who are all poetic and espouse philosophy but qho end up using her and leaving her, and if you have read it, you know how it ends. but emma ignores the fact that charlea does all the nice little thongs for her. he buya her roses, he comes home from work just to tell her he loves her. and he does love her.
i am in a relationship with a girl who is smart, but not booksmart, has no knowlesge of philo or lit or anyrhing academic, and has bad taste in movies and music. but she loves me. i had surgery and she came to the hospital and waited for hours until i was done.
i do love her as well. but some of the things she says, the new age bs she believes in without any examination that makes me roll my eyes, makes it difficult for me to be in a relationship with her and consider her a life partner.
am i making the same mistake as emma? if i cant share an intellectual or artistic life with her i fear i will regret my decision if the relationship does last down the road. no ones perfect, but that seems to imply that everyone is the same. just a different flavor, which doesnt ring true with me.
what do you think lit? should i stick it out?
Ian Richardson
you should try and mold her. You have a nice girl, dont let her go
Hudson Torres
...
John James
sorry for the typos, on iphone
Justin Kelly
>new age bs what kind
Brody Myers
You don't have to have a girl who is on par with your artistic and intellectual tastes--in fact it's highly advised against or probably impossible (not because you don't have great taste either). Any book will tell you this is NOT what you want to do. Martial, Anna Karenina, etc...
I am currently reading Swann's Way, and although I have a coupe hundred pages left, I can say it certainly pertains to your question. Now I'm going to close this thread and hope that Swann has a happy ending because "Swann in Love" is seriously putting me through some anguish.
Zachary Nelson
romance novels are to emma what Veeky Forums probably is to you. good literature thread.
Hudson Rivera
she plays with tarot catds, pick anything youve heard about "energy", shes said it
Jason Perez
enormous red flag - dump immediately im not much of a relationship expert, nor am i a redpiller pua or something like that, but m8, you should have seen she is crazy from the moon
Isaiah Campbell
its not so much taste as it is a basic level of communication. i have expressed some of my concerns with her, and when we agreed to do some philosophy, i put on the first ep of the partially examines life, which assumes the audiwnce has no background in philosophy, and she falls asleep during it. maybe it was just the qrong approach.
why do those books say you shouldnt so that?
Joshua Cooper
women have lots of beliefs that are on the metaphysical side. as long as she isnt too naive, there really isnt a problem.
Sebastian Wood
stick it out you dingus, you'd be making a huge mistake to leave just cause she's not interested in books.
Benjamin Taylor
In Martial's epigrams he often says he prefers a less intelligent wife, and I'm not gonna expand upon that because it has to do with a concept you're probably already familiar with, sort of like the old, "an ugly wife is a treasure in the home." You don't want a woman who will talk philosophy with you. Hell, let me put it this way: there's no way you're currently satisfied with your current girlfriend. Now imagine a girl feeling that for you. Yeah. Also, you have bros to talk philosophy with. A woman will balance it out.
But in Anna Karenina the main character, a man battling with intellectualism because he's well-read and all, goes through a crisis where he's wondering if it's better to just work on a farm all his life. He inevitably finds love in a girl who cannot keep up intellectual conversation, but can keep up conversation. When it comes to art and philosophy, the girl, similar to Odette in Swann's Way, knows next to nothing if not nothing about art, so she still has that childlike wonder, and so our protagonists love these women because of their similarities to a child.
>She falls asleep during it.
Lol, I've employed the socratic method with my girl a couple times, and while it worked for a couple minutes, eventually without failure she got frustrated at my repeated questions, and then she inevitably resorted to going off on a tangent/rant about her day. But I was smart enough not to push my luck, and so I stopped what I was doing. I stopped philosophizing with her.
Christian Edwards
>should i stick it out?
She loves you, you love her.
Stick it out, man.
Smart but not booksmart can be a wonderful thing in this wicked world.
From your description, your relationship is not really comparable to Emma and Charles, because love was a one-way street in that story, whereas you are fortunate enough to have found a two-way street, so to speak.
Anthony Lewis
Nah not necessarily. She's filling her need for belief with that nonsense.
I don't mean to shill God here OP but take her to church and convert her proper
Michael Mitchell
she will stillbe a retard, just not a new age retrd, but a christian retard
what you should look for in a girl is that she has a likeable personality about her intelligence im not saying you to start dating bimbos, but women are ultimately not made for philosophy and serious studies, but for bed and the kitchen (no im not alt right)
Michael Wood
Nah most women, as someone else said, believe in some kind of metaphysical thing that's often (most of the time) total nonsense. It's not a red flag for her to buy into star crap. Doesn't make her a retard, you'd be astounded at how many women buy into stuff like that yet are still smart otherwise.
>likable personality I've been discovering this more and more. In fact, I have a somewhat similar situation that I often ponder and would like advice, but I don't want to hijack OP's tasty thread.
Also that pill is a shade too red but you really have a good point honestly. Think about all the girls you ever had a crush on. Wasn't it for their personality (and looks)?
Zachary Hall
>I don't want to hijack OP's tasty thread it wouldnt get any replies taht way consider it a bump if anything
it may be a cultural thing, since im from eastern europe i have higher standards than you concerning women?
Gavin Moore
I have actually astronomically high standards but when I was a lad it was fairly simple. She had to be "my type" and have a nice personality.
Now I'm hunting for a well-read Catholic whose cute. I've actually found this and knew her in my youth (I actually rejected her for the social dance because I was a fool) but of course she is dating a guy. Also Catholic.
This is my dilemma. She seems interested in me so it may be a mere waiting game and I don't "need" a girlfriend. However there is this other girl I knew in high school who is 20/21 now (I'm 23) and has always liked me. We went on one date but I flubbed it and made her think I wasn't interested (longish deail). However I could probably call her and sort it out. Yet she has a number of mental things which otherwise don't bother me but I'm thinking down the road for our kids. Depression, bi-fold, ADD are all in her family and I've had some bouts with OCD so our kids would be RIP. I've listened to her a lot and made her cry tears of joy when I told her I see her the same in highschool as I do now (which is true). She reads but she reads woman books. However she can be molded. She is smart and got the same ACT score (28 I know you're wondering...though that's probably average at least here) I did and intelligence is in her family. Her two brothers are wickedly smart (one is studying law like I want to and the other is even smarter than him). She looks up to me intellectually and I've actually shared Jordan Peterson with her lol. I regurgitated ideas of his to her and she stood in awe. So she gets things. She also described some stuff I said (long story) as "fascinating". I might have answered my own question but what do I do?
That Catholic is a beautiful blonde, gymnast, studied biochem. Other girl is also really cute though and has black hair (or very very very very dark brown if you want to be a technical jackass). She has depression because of a pretty fugged up experience with her dad (emotionally abusive, used to be in a cult, didn't realize he still acted like that, the mom divorced but also is bipolar). But she's aweet and otherwise has a good head on her shoulders barring normal woman stuff.
Ethan Edwards
Oh shit, a real post on Veeky Forums.
Honestly? You're too young to think about sticking it out.
You need to experience THOSE people in your life before you choose the one. You need to experience the booksmart girl. You seem smart, understanding, and introspective, so please, for the love of God, don't commit to a life-long relationship before you're ready.
And some rambling: You can get a lot of people to say they love you. I didn't expect this coming out of an unloving home. It's a lesson I've learned since. I choose to interpret the "everyone is the same" idea as just that. As nice as it is, having someone to appreciate you wholly isn't the be-all and end-all to what they are to you.
Oh, and I'm not saying you should break up or even just have some time apart. You can 100% experience the people in your life you're worried you'd miss without having to live with them and bone them. Don't be worried about friend zoning anybody; women are mature and most have had close relationships without sex or traditional love, they can have one with you, too.
TLDR: Don't break up with her but don't give up searching for others.
Isaiah Allen
>We went on one date but I flubbed it and made her think I wasn't interested its ok as long as you didnt act as if not interested in a relationship for a longer period of time while hanging out with her, one time is nothing, but if you gave off the "friendzone" "vibe" to her it would be more difficult
ill tell you something important - i grew up in semi-rural central/eastern europe where nobody had psychic diagnoses, of course people had shown signs, but nobody took them as something heavy, its just personality quirks, today the establishment wants to categorize everything as some kind of disease to be able to drug people ($$$$$) and push their capitalist orwellian society plans further
>ACT score i dont really know what act is
it is not really important how well read and smart women are, because women are made different than men, bookish intelligence is a masculine thing also if you want to have a future, its the best to marry before 25ish, it might jsut be my village chauvinism, but people ahve been doing things one way for thousands of years before modernity, dont think that now suddenly women have become all independent and equal
Sebastian Cooper
to additionally explain why believing in new age like tarot stuff is bad:
being an intellectual, excentric, thinking outside the box is normal and a good thing for men ofc (we're on Veeky Forums Veeky Forums ffs)
on the other hand what is the role of women in a dedicated relationship? - to tend to home and be a mother, a good woman will not be one who goes around the world, studies philosophy, builds a career - that one will end up demanding to be just as much of a boss as you are, youll live your days having toact like there are 2 men in the house, just one having a vagina and end up in your fortys going from fertility doctor to fertility doctor suited up looking to get an old businesswoman pregnant if you dont get a divorce because she gets to make her own decisions
some things are meant to be simple and primitive - just marry a relatively good looking young girl with a likeable personality who will stay at home when you are married
Jackson Diaz
>This is exactly what my dad did Clever bastard, he. He was engaged to one woman but didn't like how she treated her kids (inb4 my wife's son....that was almost him) and then he and my mom got together and popped me and my sis out.
Austin Bennett
>>Yet she has a number of mental things which otherwise don't bother me but I'm thinking down the road for our kids. Depression, bi-fold, ADD are all in her family and I've had some bouts with OCD so our kids would be RIP
K.E.K.
James Gray
sensible advice
Nathan Howard
Niggas be wanting a girl who reads Tolstoy, watch Criterion DVDs, and wears ugly grey sweaters. Sounds like you want a boyfriend nigga.
Asher Bailey
>that one will end up demanding to be just as much of a boss as you are But that's the point of relationships, at least for me. No one is anyone's boss, two people freely decide to stay together because they like each other.
Gabriel Cook
So are you a "hard fact" guy?
You should learn about soft facts. The feminine principle would know more. How about you stop condescending and step off your high horse and pay attention and see where she is coming from, read between the lines if you must
Energy is a perfectly acceptable idea. It's incredible that scientists loathe that word for its broader encompassing implications, even though its a readily available aspect of everything in our lives.
Ian Bailey
You should leave her, as you don't love her. And "sticking it out" is humiliating her - it is an act of cruelty.
Horrible, unemphatic advice. Treat other people as human beings, not as tools, OP.
John Moore
>>unemphatic
What does being emphatic have anything to do with whether or not his advice is sensible?
Did you read his post? He's suggesting OP NOT leave or cheat on his GF, just be open to life in general.
I think you're projecting dude.
You're asking him to leave his GF with the justification that "you don't love her". How can you possibly derive this from what little you've gleaned through his posts on an Indonesian WoW forum?
Ryan Hall
No fear captain logos is here
>i am in a relationship with a girl who is smart >i do love her as well. but some of the things she says, the new age bs she believes in without any examination Your girl is in fact stupid
>emma bovary cannot love charles because >i do love her >am i making the same mistake as emma? Nope.
>what do you think lit? Your critical judgement power level is 2/10. You are her except more pretentious.
> should i stick it out? Nothing to stick out
Cheers
Cameron Flores
S A V A G E A F V F A I G C E F F I C I E N T E N T
Evan Smith
>What does being emphatic have anything to do with whether or not his advice is sensible? Because morals.
>How can you possibly derive this from what little you've gleaned through his posts on an Indonesian WoW forum? Because love, apart from what people pretend, is easy. Thinking that being with a person is partly dreadful means you do not love them. Is it common in relationships? Yes. But that means absolutely nothing. Passion is underestimated. Have you even read William Blake, pleb-boi?
Landon Bailey
There is a solution to your problem, but I'm afraid it involves arsenic.
Kayden Mitchell
For which party?
Mason Ward
Not OP but I'm the other storyfag.
Ah of course passion. I'm passionate about the Catholic girl even if she is dating someone ergo I should not date the other by default because, as neat as she is, I don't think I could be as passionate.
Henry Harris
>What does being emphatic have anything to do with whether or not his advice is sensible? Because morals.
wat
>>Because love, apart from what people pretend, is easy.
Again, projecting your own feelings on to others.
>>Thinking that being with a person is partly dreadful means you do not love them.
Agree partially, but not necessarily true. You can think of examples, I'm sure.
>>Is it common in relationships? Yes. But that means absolutely nothing. >>absolutely nothing.
Okay.
>>Passion is underestimated.
How? In relation to what? And in what context?
>>Have you even read William Blake, pleb-boi
Nope. I will start though, thanks for the recommendation. I doubt reading him will make your points make any more sense, but you never know.
I think you should develop your thoughts more fully before you post. Throwing an author into a debate doesn't do anything in the slightest to reinforce what you're saying.
If you're still seething, just look at your points (quoted above) objectively please.
Dominic Peterson
Relax, user.
Kayden Stewart
you seek love for the companionship and emotional support you can give to each other, not to start your two-people faggoty bookclub. grow up
Owen Rodriguez
Most of the people telling you to just stick it out are using misogynistic justifications when women who are intelligent do exist and if that's what you want you should seek them out instead. But if you're the kinda pseud that watches the partially examined life and dismisses all metaphysics as feminine stupidity then they'll probably look down on you. As another poster said, you're your girlfriend but more pretentious.
