WHY DOES HEALTHY FOOD GIVE ME GAS

Fuck this I'll just go back to eating Big Macs at least I can be in public when I have those for lunch

Complex carbs that only the gut bacteria can eat forming gas. It takes time for their numbers to change and your body will get less gassy. At least have fun with it, like take an elevator to a service floor and then fart as you leave...

So it gets better? How long? Should I flood my body with it to make it happen quicker? Like tons of cabbage and 7 grain bread?

>implying you're ever around known people
>implying strangers don't find you disgusting already

Farting from food is actually a good thing. It means your digestive systems is actually working hard to breakdown the food you eat. Think of it as exercise for your gut. When you eat fast processed food it's meant for speedy digestion and absorption so you gut gets no workout.
Healthy food = gut exercise = healthy
Processed food = no gut exercise = colon cancer

Start sipping grey water.

learn how to stealth fart. Enjoy your self

What the fuck does that mean you meme lover?

Does that mean girls who eat salads all the time.....

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but oh yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

did you... seriously just... type all that out? this site is so crazy lol

You fucknut, I almost fell for it.

wtf? what is this?

>and your body will get less gassy
It's been years. Help me.

I love broccoli but broccoli doesn't love me back, it's the kind of gas that hurts

are you female

yeah... I have the same problem with cabbage. you just learn what your gut bacteria loves to party with, and avoid that shit

So are beans thus as magical as the poets suggest?

It's bad when you have to work with a lot of people though as part of your job. I fart from basically all healthy food. The only way to get it to not smell awful is to hope that I can take a big fat shit soon, which never happens. So I meander into a back room, and let her rip. Then I hope nobody comes in.

Please please fucking please be a girl

Your gut bacteria is lacking. Eat more fermented foods like kraut, kimchi, and pickles. A probiotic supplement wouldn’t hurt either.

I'm a man baby, and I don't live in London either.

>a man baby