Why aren't you eating hardtack?

OP here, the recipe i follow always comes out tasting like pretzels, even more so if you eat them hot from the oven.

So the recipe is:
6 cups of flour
2 cups of water
1 tablespoon of sea salt
30 min at 375
Garnish wih more salt

>Why aren't you eating subsistence / survival food?

Because I'm not in a subsistence / survival situation, and thus, I do not wish to eat a brick made of flour.

I've heard this description of the taste of various breads for my entire life. How many of you retards have actually eaten wallpaper paste?

I'm feeling a lot of judgement over here

I'm judging you for being the type of person who would mention someone judging others. Go run off to your safe space and curl up under a table, millennial scum.

who hurt you

He was obviously joking, retard.

>there is someone out there who prepares this as a regular meal for himself

>so wormy
What? Did they have actual worms in them?

Sucks being poorer than dirt.

>What? Did they have actual worms in them?
Probably mealworms (beetle larva) not actual worms.

you could add like 20 cents worth of yeast to that, let it sit for an hour before baking, and you would have halfway passable bread instead of a literal brick

>Free protein.
Fuck yeah.

Yup. The point of hardtack was that it would keep in storage for a long time (like on sea voyages and such), but with a long time in storage and no way to keep the bugs out, weevils and worms would burrow in and eat tunnels through it, lay eggs in the tunnels, and live in there. Gross as that may be, it actually contributed a fair bit to the usefulness of hard tack since it provided a little bit of protein alongside the carbs.

I've come to aquire, and even look foward to brick.

Or they would boil it and eat it like a dumpling.
A bland, worm infested dumpling.

even your molecules sound inbred, if someone slapped you it'd irradiate the whole tri-state area and start ww3. Headass.

>Literally the first food designed for shelf life over nutrients or flavor
Not even trolling this is the the soyboy shit of your great grandparents day

This is a joke right? People didn't actually proto-ironically eat fucking larvae biscuits right?

I think this is the worst attempt to insult me in my entire life. I can't imagine how your logic abilities (or, rather, disabilities) work.

Study history, nigger.

t. Sheltered faggot who has never been hungry in their life

yes, that would have sounded stupid back then as it does now

Between that and starving, it was the lesser of two weevils :D

:D

I've been on a baking kick lately and started with hardtack because it's easy as fuck. Honestly they're pretty crap unless you add spices and eat them before they cure (ie before they turn into hardtack).

get a load of this faggot
i bet you kiss girls

The girls I kiss have dicks, so I'm not a faggot, you're the faggot.

I like hardtack for camping and make some as a snack now and then.

Good if you add dried basil, thyme, or cayenne pepper and other things before belong. Delicious with some summer sausage or a side of rice

>tablespoon of salt

howhorrifying.jpg

underrated

\0/

The only think I remember about Master and Commander is that joke.

I like to just bring a (double) plastic bag with flour and making flatbreads on hot stones. I guess it's a little more of a hassle to transport than hardtack, though.

Absolutely dreadful.

;)

...

>I always follow

You make hardtack regularly?

If reguarly means once in a bluemoon

You do realize, that how something tastes is strongly based on it's aroma, which is why you'll lose most of your tasting ability, if you lose your sense of smell.
tl;dr you can guess what something tastes like just from the smell

Hey that just means you get some protein with your meal.

My 5th grade teacher had us try hardtack as part of a history lesson. It just tasted like a super dense saltine cracker with no salt

You must be referring to this kind of wallpaper paste Don't worry, we don't judge here.

OP is a pirate with scurvy

To tell you the truth, let's get this out onto a tray.
Nice.

>still no Steve/Jon Townsend colab.

The original recipes for clam chowder used crushed hardtack.

I remember making hardtack myself when I was in high school. Can't remember why, maybe it was some show and tell bullshit for civil war history or something, never panned out. I ended up eating them as tea biscuits for like a month.

Pretty good actually. I should make more. Sure last longer than these shitty loaves of grocery store bread that get mold after two days on the counter.

This page has quite a few good m.wikihow.com/Make-Hardtack

>Puns women will never understand

far too thirst provoking

THE LESSER OF TWO WEEVILS

>hurr how do u kno it tastes like shit if u never tasted shit

You realize the most traditional wallpaper paste recipe is literally just flour and water right?

I prefer bucellatum instead. It's made with spelt flour so it's a little richer then typical white hardtack and it's good served with honey.

Hardtacks really good, I remember in elementary school we had a yearly civil war reenactment day and I always looked forward to eating the hardtack. Then at the end of the day all of the classes in a grade would get to participate in a battle reenactment that consisted of kids choosing the confederate or union side and standing at each end of a soccer field and then running at each other while pretending to attack each other. The confederates always had more kids lol. I doubt they do this stuff nowadays in our PC world

Ive seen those museums where soldiers wrote letters home on them.

You know natural wallpaper paste is literally made from flour and water, right? Literally the same ingredients as hardtack. Why wouldn't it taste the same, and why would you judge people for knowing what it tastes like?

The meal worms probably taste better than the hardtack

IT'S TIME
youtube.com/watch?v=FyjcJUGuFVg

were cuneiform tablets meant to be mud cookies all this time?

Reminds me of something this Civil War historian mentioned, how soldiers would mash hardtack up, mix it with bacon grease, and then skewer it with their ramrods and cook it over a fire. They called it Sloosh.

Probably can't be that bad. I'd eat it.

John Townsend in a fucking saint and I'm so glad Veeky Forums loves him as much as I do

...

he's retarded, he factually believe that shit. eating bugs usually make you turn into that sad thing pretty quickly

>This cuck doesn't like aged wine, puerh, or cheese