Stupid questions thread

You might have a leaky gut.

What is normie tier and what is god tier fast food?

Because alcohol burns. Stop drinking so much on an empty stomach if you don't like it.

Stuffed camel?
Or Turducken?

What else can I make for myself and friends besides mac and cheese? I'm thinking maybe a vegetable dish or a dessert. My roommate is already making turkey

Chicken anything.
Whenever I see people order the chicken version of a dish at a Chinese restaurant, Mexican restaurant, etc. I feel sorry for them because I know they grew up poor.

Beer chicken.

WHat do you like to spread on your toast? As a heterosexual male, of course my favourite is Bovril. And you?

As a heterosexual male, semen.

How do you effectively avoid estrogen in your food?

Tiramisu.

anyone know of any good vegan meal plans

Add MSG.

How hot is your hot, Veeky Forums?

Cooking with rain.

Anyone here eat pasta for breakfast?

McDonald's coffee hot.

Yes, the Japanese bird.

hav leftovers wat do?

Leave it in your roommate's room.

Now that the dust has settled, are they colas, or sodas?

what could make semen taste like chocolate?
Asking for a friend.

Micro-nuke those bitches til they're steaming. Add cheese. Devour.

>calzone
>everything omelette
>rice with leftovers
>leftovers loaf
>soup

What are so delicious foods that will help me lure a girlfriend, Veeky Forums?

Eating lot of chocolate

When will the soy turns you into a girl meme end?

why arent you eating peas, Veeky Forums?

They're called "pop" dummy

At what point do you take your culinary school off of your resume?

Why aren't you eating hardtack?

Anybody else just throw a couple of these in your mouth to suck on and get wild?

why isnt there sweet corn in subway?

Would you eat my pretzel, Veeky Forums?

satan, kill em' all

But you're just spamming every thread on Veeky Forums.. oh I get it

Don't drink with an empty stomach. (Do not binge-eat, however, or you will vomit instead)
And perhaps more importantly: drink water while you drink your alcoholic drink. You don't need to mix it directly. Just alternate sips of both things.

A lot of recipes say to cook my presoaked beans for only 30 minutes or so, but it says 1.5-2 hours on the package. Am I retarded? How long do I actually cook them?

Cook them until the beans get tender. It will vary depending on your elevation, the type of bean, and how fresh they are. The cooking time will vary depending on those factors. IMHO 30 minutes is unusually short. Around 1.5-2 hours is more in line with what I've experienced.

>>How long do I actually cook them?
Just keep checking until they're tender. Sometimes it takes an hour. Sometimes it takes 4.

Thanks man.

The logic of cook it until it's done applies to most things unless you're par-cooking or expecting a post-cooking temperature increase. Just keep in mind some beans are toxic until cooked so don't check them too often and spit them out if hard.

That's weird, never had that happen and I drank moonshine on an empty stomach without water and felt fine

can I make cheese curds just by dipping cow stomach in milk? Is there any better way?

>Just keep in mind some beans are toxic until cooked so don't check them too often and spit them out if hard.
Instead of trying to eat the potentially toxic beans, you could squash them with a fork.
If it is squashable, it is tender.

hey fellas, i made homemade fries last night and i promptly rushed out and got drunk after. i left the oil sitting out on the stove in a pot overnight. if i use the same oil to make fried chicken tonight will it be bad?

It will be the best chicken youvever had.

awesome, ive never made fried chicken before so i am excited

Is cookie dough cheesecake good for a first time making, or should I try some sort of fruit and chocolate tonight?

Cans or jars?

Would making something at around 9 in the morning and refrigerating it for around 12 hours be essentially the same as refrigerating it overnight?

I only eat in restaurants when they're completely empty.
Whenever someone comes in after I have already ordered, I feel uneasy and take forever to finish my meal.
Is anyone else like this?

>Is anyone else like this?
Statistically: Probably, I guess.

I fucked up and burned a cheesecake since I fell asleep after being up all night. How do I save it and will this feeling of depression and shame ever go away?

I don't see why not. That's half a day, so I imagine it would be just fine. What are you making?

My question: I don't have an oven, just a stovetop and a microwave. What would be the best way to go about English muffin pizzas?

I'm gonna try making some cottage pie for thanksgiving this year and I'm trying to figure out the best veggies to put in it. Usually I do carrots, onions, and corn, but I wonder if there's anything else I can use, or if I can throw some spinach in that bitch

I made

Any warm drinks without caffeine? I can only think of hot chocolate and decaf.

Eating in an empty restaurant is the worst. The staff just sit around and stare at your party until you leave. Super crowded is not ideal either of course, but I will turn down eating in a restaurant if there are literally no other patrons. It also sucks when everyone else leaves and you are the last table. You can feel the staff staring holes in the back of your head resenting you for making them stay later.

All herbal teas.
Lots of alcoholic hot drinks like hot toddies and mulled wine.
Hot milk.

Are you asking this question because of Mormons?

Nope, caffeine just fucks with my medicine and it's getting cold. Herbal tea is a good idea

I ocasionally buy this piece of meat they call shouderkarbonade (shoulder.......) the one on the left. When I google for english translations I get pork chop, then if I google pork chop I get the cut on the right. Are these the same? The bone part sort of looks similar but the meat part I'm not sure.
Now when I search for pork butt/pork shoulder I get the one on the bottom, that looks like the same piece but only cut up in slices right? I'm assuming it's the same but with the bone removed?

Anyways whats the best way to prepare this? I usually pansear it, the parts with a lot of fat are really tender and juicy but the big meat part is a bit tougher. Is it a good idea to put them in the oven at low heat like 120-150C for an hour or something I see yt videos doing that with the whole butt or will it dry out when I have the sliced ones. What about braising?

Can someone recommend me a decent burr grinder? Suitable for entry-level coffee snobbery.

I always use onions, carrots, and peas. I think spinach would make a good addition too as long as it isn't that nasty canned stuff.

Top left are steaks cut from the shoulder (bottom). The top right pork chops are the tenderloin with part of the rib.

My favorite way to cook the pork steak and chop is marinating overnight in soy sauce, fish sauce, lime juice, honey, thai peppers, garlic, lemongrass and cilantro. Then I grill them direct basting with the boiled marinade until cooked to medium.

*tenderloin. I meant loin, not tenderloin.

Alright, cool. I'll give it a shot. Also thinking of making the potatoes garlic herb mashed potatoes.

There are a ton of varieties to choose from, just look at the ingredients and make sure there's no tea leaves and you should be good to go.

HOW DO I CHECK IF MY MEAT IS DONE IN THE OVEN WITHOUT DESTROYING IT WITH A FORK OR CHOPSTICKS??
>inb4 buy a thermometer
FUCK YOU

Firmness test, you compare the firmness of the meat to the firmness of your hand muscle with your fingers in different positions.

>never done this
>feels good
>fantastic
>what the fuck
>well at least it's in

What if I have burly manly hands where anyplace I press feels like it's well done?

There are other parts of the body you can use. The way I was taught to do it is with the muscle between the thumb and index finger on the back of the hand, while making a fist, but I didn't find any image guide for that. Here's one using your face, but it doesn't make much sense to me considering that my forehead just feels like solid bone.

Or you could just make a habit of feeling your meat until you develop an intuitive sense for what proper doneness feels like. There's no real need to compare it to a body part.

>chin
>cheeks
But my meat doesn't have any hair on it.

Then I guess you can't use this one either
>It's a joke about masturbation

I cum into my own mouth. My hand is hairless.

Thanks but now I'm out of firmness test images.

Thanks user that was fun.

What's the best apple to keep texture and sweetness when cooking. They will be smoked with a pork loin. It's a seven pounder so it will probably take 4-5 hours at 225.

do you smell like garlic if you eat tons of it?

I use about half a head of fresh garlic in my beans and rice every day. Bad?

First of all, it doesn't work if you COOK the onions, that destroys the test boosting compounds.

Second of all, you need to mix RAW onion with something else, you can't just fucking eat it plain.

>you can't just fucking eat it plain.
You seem to have forgotten that humans have free will and can do anything they want.

D-does mixing it with something help alleviate the smell, or just the taste?

I diced half a raw onion up with some carrot and ate it over the course of 2 days, and I reek

Kek, if only people were actually this easy to troll

I can understand salting pasta water when you plan to use a fairly acidic or basic sauce, the sodium and chloride ions inside the water inside the noodle would pull the sauce to the noodle, but is there a point salting the water when you're using a neutral sauce? Like something with a lot of cheese or cream.

I have almost a full gallon of milk that expired on the 18th. It's still fresh but im antsy about it going bad soon

What simple things can I do with it to salvage it? I was thinking cheese but i dont have cheesecloth

I just freeze extra milk.

>just freeze it