Post you're face when you order a black coffee at the coffee shop

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>you're face
tard.

Mfw the barrista asks room for cream after I order my coffee black.

>The usual: black, no sugar, right?
>Actually, ma'am, there are times when man changes, where a man casts the darkest shadows on his closest past. Such is the time for myself, ma'am. A little bit of rum in it, please.

>Not whiskey

>*Orders a large black Americano*
>*Succinctly but politely declines offer to try one of the awful Starbucks food choices on offer*

Every time.

>Her response: k...

where i live coffee shops don't keep spirits in stock

>you are face

epic style

But my pockets do.

>can make better tasting black coffee at home
>their coffee is going to taste burnt as shit
>they have fancy equipment to steam milk and blast expresso
>paying $2 for shit coffee when you can pay $3 for something special or $0.09 at your home for better

maybe... the problem... is me...

my dad has always drank black coffee.
his priest even drank the pure wine and no water hahahaha. ( goodluck figuring that out )

you gotta try harder to impress amigo

>he burned a liquid
>food & cooking

>his coffee shop isn't licensed

Where I live the coffee shop has a brewery next door and they make coffee porter together

Literally me

You're pretty.

>he doesn't realise the burnt taste comes from (over)roasting the beans
>I'm pretty confident I've seen oil burn before

all chain coffee shops overroast the beans to store them better and provide a consistent taste. it has a similar char taste as something burnt.

False. Dunn brothers roasts their beans in house weekly

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>when I order a hot chocolate with extra whip cream
>.... uhhh and a black too T-thanks

>not daily

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Lol faggot

>coffee

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>just black
>no eye contact
>they know im just being cheap because more coffee for $$
>i put brown sugar in it after drinking an ounce
>try to talk to grill employee
>no real response
>sit down and drink coffee while staring out the window and occasionaly looking at grill
>slowly walk out into rain and drive home, still feeling ok from caffine
>it wears off slowly as you take off shoes and walk around apartment
>passively look over chans on PC
>all alone, no escape
>listen to fridge hum and wind outside for the next 4 hours
>eat then go to bed

this hits way too close to home, guess I'll just go to sleep

goodnight.

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I only drink black coffee.

>If you order a real coffee these days people will assume you're doing it just to look manly, totally not because you just want coffee and not a fucking dessert
>the absolute state of the Western civilization

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>try drinking black coffee
>use normal already ground coffee like a pleb
>eww this is disgusting
>feel like a bitch and tastelet for not liking it
>read that freshly ground coffee makes all the difference
>doubt.jpg
>buy beans anyway
>throw them in the blender
>make coffee from my freshly ground beans
>first sip
>this is amazing
>not just drinkable without sugar
>actually so good and tasty that adding sugar would ruin it
>I finally understand
>make another batch
>this time use more and let it seep longer
>extra strong
>extra delicious
>it's fucking perfect

I can finally into black coffee.

Good coffee is ruined by sugar and cream but bad coffee is so disgusting it's undrinkable and unenjoyable without.

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Finish the FUCKING book, reddit meme man
It me

COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Where I live bars stock coffee, thus being coffee shops

>not cooking your freshly ground coffee over an open fire
Never gonna make it

Wait is there a stigma about black coffee? I usually get iced black coffee at my local donut shop

It would probably be really funny to order coffee at a "coffee shop" in the Netherlands :^)

Some of them seem to actually have somewhat legit looking espresso machines desu, and pretty cheap coffee prices too compared to normal cafés

Dirty chai with two shots please

How the FUCK do I order from a coffee shop? There's so much customization that i'd rather just get packets of instant coffee instead of deal with this hoity toity nonsense

>Go to local coffee place, has by far the best coffee in town
>Ex-girlfriend is working
>Order and take my time even though I order the same thing every time and she knows it.
>TFW she can't be rude to me without losing her job
>TFW I jerk off in the sink in the back afterwards

>my daily is a shot in th edark
y'all weak

Just ask for a black coffee or ask for what their house roast is that day. It's really not hard smoothbrain. It's just ordering a coffee.

What the FUCK is a house roast?

Whatever regular coffee they decided to pull out of the store room that day. Most coffee houses have a sizable amount of unground coffee beans in the back. They pick a bag and usually grind that that day. It's more pragmatic than opening a bunch of different bags and hoping you sell it all before it goes off.

Alright thanks. Ill just have some water instead

It's really not that hard, I don't even disagree with you about the frivolous bullshit drinks. You're just being a really dramatic bitch about ordering a regular coffee.

Whatever man go drink your dirty sewage house roast while I have a nice ice cold glass of purified Fiji water

I can’t wait for my next day off

What the fuck man, I'm just trying to help out with my personal knowledge of coffee shops. If you don't like coffee why did you even ask you fuckin fruit?

triggered green tea

*singing* "OUR HOUSE!"

poeple on Veeky Forums thinks it makes them manly

Pathetic!

Just order what you like. If you like just cream and sugar order a coffee with cream and sugar. Fuck the menu. If the ask shit like "what kind of coffee and do you want all this shit" you can always just end it with a "surprise me" or "whatever you reccomend". Thats what i do when i go pick up a joint and i dont know shit about their current strains.

Fucking loser.

people have grown immune to the "you're a retard for typing your" bait

impressive, Veeky Forums. only took 10 years.

"IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET!"

It won't be the same, also you gotta buy all the ingredients, which will go bad if you don't use them all, and you might not be at home when you desire coffee.

>masterbate

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Woah, I'd have to buy milk? That's too much man

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he can't keep getting away with it

that face i make when i order a pukkin spice latte at the cafe with my bestie

Black coffee my dude

wtf is going on with his abdomen

He had his ribs removed so he could suck his own dick. Then he got super self conscious about his missing ribs so he bulked like crazy and roid raged to hide it.

Steroids make your whole body grow larger, including your internal organs. When your guts protrude like that due to steroid use it is called "roid gut"

I'm not a woman so I don't go to coffee shops, just drink the free coffee they offer at work like an adult male

nice effort but this sound more legit

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how come waffle house has best coffee?

Actually, is right. Another name for that is palumboism, named after bodybuilder Palumbo whose gut was one of the first prominent examples of steroid use/abuse.

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(OP)

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>the woman is the only one without a scary haircut
It's like looking at a horror movie pitch. She's hot as hell though.

What's up with the cuck-spam though? Blue-board, only post porn when appropriate.

>scary haircut
What did he mean

The guy on the left looks like he has a dead hedge-maze on his head.

She's not really pregnant. You can see the green waterhose they used on the ground.