What would you put on a charcuterie and cheese board ?

ur supposed to be at the store taking pictures for us

Btw what store are you going to?

This and French bread ?

Sounds good

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Go for the French baguette. It's better than regular French bread.

That's shit commodity Gouda. Smoked Gouda is absolutely plebian.

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Havarti is a good one for a cheese plate. It's mild with a nice texture good to cleanse the pallet of stronger cheese. Hop on that chego too.

Brie cheese is not pictured

The bellavitono is one of the best mass production cheeses in America. (They're like our beemster not as good tho if course)

Hard bread is essential.

Chego?

Manchego

this is a cute thread. where do u live. can we hug

Good because I grabbed it

Dubliner or the aged cheddar kerrygold is a nice brand in general

Good job. What's your cart like now? I hope you picked up one of these

I didn’t ,I’ll get that wendsday , store was closing . I’ll show when home .

You’re adorable , now suggest cheese .

Didn’t buy any meats... but meat suggestion with it ? I know they enjoy smoked salmon what goes good with it ?

Side note , I have till Xmas to experiment .

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HEY NO
THATS THE FIG JAM I WAS TALKING ABOUT IN i tried the cocao one and its disgusting

the havarti dill cheese that aldi carries goes good with smoked salmon
also you get more bang for buck and usually a better product if you buy your salami and other cured meats as a log instead of presliced

I'd say just a baguette and no crackers, but that image reminds me, you need olive, and maybe artichoke hearts and hearts of palm just to give it a lil variety instead of being solely meat and cheese
also wine

Gabagool, nice

>Meadow in captcha

I will be adding a Brie cheese and was thinking a horseradish cheddar .

I feel like maybe going overboard on the cheeses .

Maybe have an Annihilation round or two ?

I will not buy this person wine .
We went out to dinner and the fucker bought $175 dollar bottles and told me my wine taste was the equivalent of a child and chicken nuggets .

person sounds like an ass, why are you making them a meat and cheese tray?

Olive hearts?

nah, just stuffed spanish olives, you can go with the standard pimento stuffed or get a lil fancier with something like garlic stuffed or blue cheese stuffed olives

Lmao, some of the best wine I've ever had has been under $50.
There comes a point where people just buy it and "like" it because it's Veblen.
That's not to say there aren't good wines that are expensive, but you don't need to shell out cash for a good tasting bottle.
Sounds like a dickhead OP.

I'm digging that hot capocolio. Also it's never really occurred to me to pair salmon with anything other than cream cheese. I'm intrigued and will commence experiments at once.

it's delicious and cheap

Eh it was a light hearted joke.

Oh, well shit, in context it doesn't sound as bad. Fair enough.

I think I found it online for $50 .
It was at a restaurant so the jacked the price most likely .

Hahahaha yeah but I’m definitely not buying them wine. They have more than enough .

Most places typically price industry standard at 200-300% retail so most likely the case.

whats his name? how long have you two been talking for?

Hey op I recommend next time u want to do something like this take an afternoon to read up on cheeses and meats.
A little of your own reading makes a difference but have fun

I have been for over a week, but I’m an extremely indecisive person .
ide rather get input from real live people than a few long winded articals on cheeses I’ve never had .
I value sonder over impersonal text I suppose .

That’s fucking insane .

So
Wine is like that candy of movie theater candy !

Slim shady .

Had a thing for them for a while , but it’s only been a few months that I’ve spend personal time with them .

I just wanted to give them Somethig special that wasn’t chicken nugget/finger paint equivalent gift.

Yeah I'd say so.
I don't usually drink wine at dinner when I go out.
The exception is places you pay a membership to dine at. I've got a wine locker at the club that I belong to so obviously I don't pay an uptick to drink my own wine.

maytag blue cheese (or whatever you find that looks decent) with walnuts (or pecans) and honey- and figs if you can find them

honeycrisp apples with kerrygold's dubliner cheese

port salut cheese

prosciutto and honeydew or cantaloupe

mortadella (deli will slice it)

some sort of hard salami, sliced thin

shelled pistachios, assorted olives in oil, cold grapes, assorted Carr's crackers

>them
So it's a tranny? A nice bottle of Clorox would be fitting for this occasion.

Oh shit, I forgot about port salut. Not too bad for how affordable it is.

Where would I find carrs

No.
I just rather focus on the food than what’s in anyone’s pants.

>kerrygold's dubliner cheese
Is that any different from the butter? Because that already tastes a lot like cheese to me.

It's a very rich yet sharp cheddar. It's cuz Ireland's cows are all mostly if not exclusively grass fed

So you are female and that is a male you want to impress. Why lie? We might be able to help you better if we knew you were flirting. Most of the posters here are female not like you have to hide

Freshly made cream cheese, with herbs on the side for guests to mix in
Brie Fermier and/or Saint-Andre
Red Hawk and/or Epoisses and/or Oma
Pt. Reyes Blue and/or Roquefort
Aged Gruyere and/or aged Gouda
Humboldt Fog and/or Monte Enebro

Pork rillettes
Duck terrine with figs
Pate de campagne
Duck prosciutto
Choice of salami

Local varietal honey (2-3 types)

Rosemary and sea salt crackers
Spelt flour crackers with sea salt
Slices of seeded baguette

Cornichons, no sugar added

(choices of cheese are intended for US citizens)

Thanks!

Mmmm pork rillettes

I’m so confused at what half those cheeses are

Aside from the last suggestion post I’ve made a chart of cheese , meat , and fruit/nuts/bread/crackers and made notes of what taste best with what .
Feel free to keep throwing suggestions.

This person sounds very financially irresponsible. I am married without children and our combined income exceeds 300k/year but there is no way we would pay over $150, let alone over $30, for a bottle of wine, unless we were celebrating once-in-a-lifetime events like the commencement of our retirement. He is probably not actually cultured, or even rich.

This seems like a good excuse to post a crostini recipe from my old job. Literally copy and pasted from training documents. If you have a clean spray bottle all the better since that is how we sprayed the olive oil.

> Baguettes, olive oil, sea salt
> Preheat oven to 250 degrees, low fan
> Cut baguettes into slices no thinner than 1/8th of an inch and no thicker than ½ of an
inch
> Place prestini on parchment paper on a baking sheet and spray lightly with olive oil
and sprinkle lightly with sea salt
> Bake for 20 minutes at 250 degrees, take out of oven and allow to cool
> Store in a labeled box in dry storage
> Crostini should be crunchy but a chore, crispy but thick enough to hold the weight of
cheese. Taste for a bit of olive oil and a kiss of salt
> When removed from the oven, crostini should not be browned past their original color
by more than a small amount. If the crostini have browned to the point of immediate
noticeability, they have been baked for too long and must be baked again. If they are
not crunchy and crispy, but still chewy, they have not been baked long enough and
should be baked at 250 degrees in 3 minute intervals, checked at each interval until
done

Worth a shot OP, all you need it an italian loaf.

Oh fuck the formatting got messed up. My bad.

> Baguettes, olive oil, sea salt
> Preheat oven to 250 degrees, low fan
> Cut baguettes into slices no thinner than 1/8th of an inch and no thicker than ½ of an inch
> Place prestini on parchment paper on a baking sheet and spray lightly with olive oil and sprinkle lightly with sea salt
> Bake for 20 minutes at 250 degrees, take out of oven and allow to cool
> Store in a labeled box in dry storage
> Crostini should be crunchy but a chore, crispy but thick enough to hold the weight of cheese. Taste for a bit of olive oil and a kiss of salt
> When removed from the oven, crostini should not be browned past their original color by more than a small amount. If the crostini have browned to the point of immediate noticeability, they have been baked for too long and must be baked again. If they are not crunchy and crispy, but still chewy, they have not been baked long enough and should be baked at 250 degrees in 3 minute intervals, checked at each interval until done

user, here's a general list for you
1.) hard salami type, cut thinly. think anything like salami, pepperoni, summer sausage, etc that you can find. i really like nostrano salami myself
2.) prosciutto or speck or bresaola, cut the strips in half and roll into little tubes
3.) one hard cheese like cheddar texture, cubed
4.) one cheese with stuff mixed in like herbs or fruit, probably softer texture like mozzerella, crumbled or sliced thin
6.) one soft cheese like brie, with a moldy rind
7.) one soft cheese like ricotta, cream cheese, farmers cheese, goat cheese, mixed with fresh minced thyme and oregano and a small amount of raw garlic or shallots
8.) some sort of sour jelly like sour cherry
9.) thin crackers like panzanella, NOT like ritz
10.) cornichons, dried fruits, pickled pearl onions, pickled teardrop peppers, (anything but black) olives, or a tapenade for spreading
11.) some plain honey
12.) small coins of buttered, toasted baguette or freshly sliced w/e

>spend twice or more the price for cheese that could be mirrored in degree of enjoyment and utterly desotryed in terms if versatility and usage by something at a much cheaper price point
>does the same for meats and a dew other ingredients
>puts it all together into a "here you do it" presentation masquerading as elegance when all they did was line things up in a basic symmetrical configuration.
>It's not even an actual meal
You guys are pretentious faggots.

I don’t really care about that .

I’m just making an example of why I won’t buy them wine .

Let people enjoy things

This is wonderful .thank you

Love it and appreciate any other recipes

The fuck is this fancy overcomplicated shit? Get a wooden slab and a cheese knife, store the knife by stabbing it into the wood. There that's all.

It's a fuggin wooden board with a drawer in it. What's over-complicated about it?

>store the knife by stabbing it into the wood
Perhaps, you should place a small note under the knife that calmly explains how you are not a murderous psychopath?

Sounds like the kind of person who tries to put a sqare block in a round hole .

A lot of people have posted some good replies, and said similar things to what I would also recommend. So, I'm going to give you a recipe for one of my charcuterie board staples, Red Onion Jam. It goes with nearly any cheese, fruit, savories, pickles, meats, crackers, etc. And, it's incredibly easy to make, and it will give you a talking point as well as a touch of homemade goodness.

Red Onion Jam:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
2 lbs. Red onions, thinly sliced (it's nicer if you halve them first)
1 cup dry red wine
1/3 cup either brown sugar or coconut sugar
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
Heat oil and butter in a pan until hot and bubbly. Add onions, and saute until soft and just beginning to color. Add remaining ingredients except for the salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer until thick and syrupy, about an hour. Season with salt and pepper. Let cool, then refrigerate until the day of serving, take out and let come to room temp before serving.

My biggest gripe about that board is the MASSIVE trench around the perimeter that could otherwise be flat and be used as more board real estate. The only reason why there's grooves in cutting boards anyways is when your carving something wet like a roast or a watermelon, not sure why there's such a huge juice groove on a meat/cheese board.

Anyways, be sure you get some cured salami, OP. That shit is like my cocaine, and even a mediocre variety from Whole Foods is gonna go great with anything pickled and cheeses. One of my absolute favorite combinations for this kind of thing however, is aged Gran Manchego, quince paste, and a medium-bodied red wine.

Not recipes, but found this while looking through old work documents. Gives you some decent base knowledge on meat/cheese plates so hopefully you find it useful.
rapidshare.com.cn/SeUADoq

Place was a cocktail bar so any other recipes are for syrups and drinks. Should really post those for a booze thread sometime, forgot all about this great infusion to improve cheap Creme de Cassis.

It’s to neatly place crackers / fruit

Please do booze is great

What is the appeal of charcaturi?
I'm not trying to be mean; but from what I can tell every ingredient I. Charcaturi I've personally tasted seemed expensive for what it was and a lot of those fancy cheese in particular mostly either had this same sort of tang or this same sort of [insert term for what the manure smelling cheeses taste like] or this same sort of [word for what blue cheese tastes like] and they do kind of almost feel like a copout for presentation?

I'm just wondering what do you like about it? Is there something I don't know here?

Are you two fucking? You sound like a woman. Let me see your feminine penis

No.

I got you covered, just gimme a few minutes while the .zip uploads.

So, you don't like cheese. Go somewhere else then.

rapidshare.com.cn/LMH65Nn

And here we go. Honestly might make a new thread for this since this is a treasure trove of knowledge. Pardon the shitty formatting on Liquid Intelligence, was from a torrent I found awhile back but it is jam packed with solid info.

Thanks !

Let me know if you guys make a new thread

It wouldn’t open :/

Marinated mushrooms/artichokes

Shit, that's weird. Visiting a friend tonight so if this thread is still up I'll try again. Was that first link I had sent useful at least?

youtu.be/PJ87wJJrFlo

Tried this the other day and it turned out amazing.

If you like books try pic related.

how to make cream cheese??