Got home from my extremely low effort white collar job at 5.45 pm

>got home from my extremely low effort white collar job at 5.45 pm
>mindlessly browse internet for 3.5 hours
>going outside in to central London for no reason other than maybe eating junk food and browsing internet on phone
>aged 26
>zero social life, ugly loser beta no one talks to at work, never had female attention ever, can't give up junk food or coffee because they dull my ennui, tortured by the sight of Chads and Staceys everywhere, no passions, go to gym but too ugly to reap social rewards, read books mainly out of a feeling of being held hostage
>extremely blackpilled, know women get 500 tinder matches a day with Chads, society considers me a disposable battery, I'll never fit in with normies because of ugliness and lack of normieness
>make enough to save £200 a month after expenses yet know that higher paying jobs I apply to will fill my time with shit and I will look back on today with nostalgia and regret
>procrastinated learning programming and (more) maths for over 4 years

I can't believe I think this: Maybe staying completely non-Spooked all the time wasn't such a great idea after all. If this is "real life" then I need some sort of mentality or ideology that can help me.

Is Ayn Rand good?

My (rigorously) reductionist outlook leads me to see all philosophies as vacuous pep talks. I abhor theory. I have epiphanies in evenings about simple, all encompassing possible life philosophies for myself that I cold implement to find success ("Have constant challenges", "Focus on a few things", "Do what you enjoy"). I set reminders on my phone for this the next day yet always find myself seeing them as stupid. The underground man is like me. But I have to accept that "default me" may be a fucking zero motivation waste of a life.

If I followed my tastes and intuitions, I'd give up most books within 10 pages.

You need religion.

Ecclesiasties followed by the gospel of John.

Unironically

Isn't it depressing how common this is now? Is there any media that addresses it?

>no spooks
>speaks in memes
>"no spook" ideology is a meme, literally a spook to this fucker

Look, you're retarded. Do what makes you happy. Do it in public. Be honest with people as often as you can stand, or at least write about your honest feelings, make yourself vulnerable in relatively safe ways, and progress. You're sitting alone wondering why you're sitting alone. Read less, or read new literature that challenges your core rather than reaffirming your biases.

I was in a similar situation, what I did was write a list of everything I wanted to do, learn and places I wanted to go. Wrote it over the course of a couple months just thinking about it. It ranged from learning how to sail, learning to play the Oud, camping on a secluded beach, climbing on the rooftops of San Francisco, steal an artwork ect ect. Everything I've ever wanted to do since I was a child. Basically a bucket list. It's pretty cliche but it worked for me to start getting out of the house, my problem was I wanted to do so many things but I couldn't pinpoint something exactly. Putting it down on paper and giving myself time to think about it made it seem attainable

>steal an artwork
How'd it go?

Sometimes I feel like rebelling, going full amoral, and joining a gang. I get the appeal of ISIS to a small extent

>staying completely non-Spooked
this is the most dangerous spook of all

>Do what makes you happy
this is also a dangerous spook

Literally Notes From Underground
>hide away from society, sperg out when forced to confront it, constantly justify yourself even though you know you're not satisfied with the state of things

Write poetry for poetry's sake man

I've actually laid out a plan to steal a Canaletto because I'm obsessed with the Venetian Republic but I need more money and items for my plan to work perfectly. I'm actually seriously considering it

>sees all philosophies as vacuous pep talks
>has epiphanies about simple all-encompassing life philosophies
>always finds himself seeing them as stupid
>needs some sort of mentality or ideology that can help him
The spirit of contradiction is strong here.

>non spooked
>Gives into anxiety and self pity
"No"

Anxiety is as an emotional state. It's not changeable through logical argumentation, like an opinion. Anxiety can't be a spook.

are you still making these threads op? jfc

What's your low-effort white collar job? Been trying to score one of those but no luck.

when did this turn into /r9k/

I would say you've failed to grasp and apply egoism if you've fallen into the anxiety self pity trap.

You need to drop media consumption and start doing more things. Any activity that is different from what you are doing now. Your "epiphanies" are just another form of procrastination.

>now
People have been alphas and betas since we were animals. There's really nothing special about these days.

Rigorously adhering to morality lends the same sort of isolation within a select group.

Your job sucks. Get a better one.

>goes to gym
Do you actually lift, though? Using a bunch of machines and being a loner at the dumbbell rack isn't going to get you any muscle gains or social gains. Start doing compound exercises with a barbell and you will gain a ton of confidence, because it takes confidence and willpower to do difficult exercises like deadlifts and squats: you are lifting weight that would send a majority of the human population to the hospital, and you as well if you mess up. People will start socializing with you too, both because you're taking up a lot of space in the gym, and because they can actually see some damn confidence and masculinity from you. Stop being a beta and get in the damn squat rack, user. And don't forget to start with the greeks as well. Maybe they'll mold you into a person that has some degree of interest rather than the complete void you are right now.

It's always been this way

the only difference is that the internet makes it easier for the alphas to find each other

I envy your dreams

> what I did was write a list of everything I wanted to do
What if i don't want to do anything? Travelling is boring shit - never again.

Stop posting these threads

I've started filtering the word "London" because of these threads.
Fuck off.

see: pic related

Chill out, dickwad. Your autism reeks from miles away, I'm not even that good looking and I've gotten 289 matches on tinder since July 1st. Just don't be a pity party dweeb.

>caring about Tinder matches other people supposedly have
>non-spooked