What's the funniest sentence you can think of?

What's the funniest sentence you can think of?

A Jew walks into a bar; the barkeep says, "Why the long nose?"

The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.

...

suck my cok faget

I have a knock knock joke for you, but you have to start it.

IT'S BOB SAGET!

Couldn't you combine the two clauses instead of seperating them with a period?

hahaha bob saget hahaha once upon a time there was a big FAGGOT NIGGER and his name was BOB SAGET yepp that's ME motherfucking cunts! hahahaha yeah you're payin me to say my name! hahahaha...

have u ever heard this obscure joke called the aristocrats? heehee

This is my thread now.

/thread

Hillary Clinton and the leftists lost despite every single media outlet, politician, celebrity and foreign government supporting and funding her campaign.

One went in, one became two, one went out.

A hamburger walked into a bar: how ridiculous.

>Hillary Clinton
>leftist
>campaign
>leftist
>Hillary Clinton, every single media etc etc
>lost
fucc off

you clearly know nothing about politics

The state of u

Did no one find my joke funny?

Veeky Forums is a place of wise kindred-spirits, where quality is found and forged, drawing from the works of old and new, across the seven seas.

Bugs...

Why the fuck didn't the skeleton cross the road? To get to the other side.

It took me a long time to save up this much money -- I couldn't give my son a birthday, I couldn't go out to eat with my wife for months, I couldn't repair my car after it was keyed -- but I was able to buy a ticket to the DNC watch party on November 8th, a ticket to Hillary's Inauguration (front row!), and since I had money left over, a superbowl ticket (my Falcons are goin all the way!)

CRASH

We adopted a Labrador Retriever!

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

The man was a member of the prestigious Nationally Inducted Good-Guys Eradicating Racism public speaking group, and was a proud nigger at that.

I wanted to get rid of unwanted moles, and tried not to gasp when I saw how she looks now.

heres mine let me know if you like anything

For Jeffery dohmer, even light cardio is an insane workout.

GQ magazine had a competition to determine which fashion designer makes the sharpest suit. The first place and second place winners had a tie.
from the antisocial architect: "I have trouble building and maintaining relationships"
When no one is around humming birds become singing birds.
I once had an idea for a revolutionary anchor. The only problem was, we couldnt get our idea off of the ground.

>mild
>pico
>medium
>hot
>literal shit

Genitals don't define gender.

bugs... easy on the carrots.

*gentiles

I'm With Her.

Democrats 2018: I mean, have you seen the other guys?

t. butthurt democrat

Ok, you're just fucking retarded.

Was it the horde of thirsty sluts waiting to engulf his cock?

Decibelle is Dat Polymath Transgender, And Boi, She Bout To Do It! (BTFO Some Alt-Right Nu-Males, That Is!)

My friends always yell at me for being a backseat driver, but hey, what can I do? I've got long legs.

This place is dignified. Everyone here is going to have a happy ending.

I can imagine this playing out like a Seinfeld episode, a guy finally finding peace from his wife by somehow living in a world all by himself, then she knocks on the door, followed by stock laughter and the seinfeild theme playing.

The hummingbird one is fantastic

The rest meh

I genuinely chuckled

Hillary Clinton's entire life was a build up to becoming the first female President of the United States and Donald Trump beat her.

Wow... If you were recorded like this and put on the internet you'd be everyone's favourite- Oh just give in and enjoy your new life as a cum dumpster!

It was pretty hilarious watching hillary supporters get the smug grins wiped off their faces. They pretty much all assumed they were going to win right up to the end.

It might be something I shouldn't say, but oh well. I'm a racist, always have been. Some races are inherently superior to other races, it's just science. To be honest, some races shouldn't even exist and are totally worthless. When's the last time someone chose to watch NASCAR over Formula 1? Never happens. It's the truth folks.

fpbp

Kek

You're a big guy

There are black people and then there are niggers

this board is dead

spooky

/r/writingprompts

ThisIs supposed to be stand up OP. Can you rate that joke please.

This is not a /rym/ general

Ahhh, I see. Veeky Forums is devoid of humour

Write something original and funny or delete this post immediately..

CRASH!

Underrated

>be me

bib bib bicu bicu big man jeans apron velho chest machine poopy diarrhea smell stinky xd dog eat my poopoo

poopy pants
diaper smell

schoolhouse 1st grade xd xd stinky bib rotten diarrhea in pants xdd play with furry pet hamster balls diarrhea on hamster xdd teacher smell poop in my big man pants xd sent to principal office principal smell poop i poop in face xdddddd

play with smelly poop mom toys!!!!!!!!!!!! bib bicu bicu diaper diarrhea smelly stinky xdd dirty shirt diaper leak full of stinking diarrhea xddd sprey poop on tv xdd eat pet goldfish lol

xddd daddy smell pee in big fat poop diaper lol like big babby smell xd

eat pooopy mom food!!! sniff dinner plate xd poop on table xdd diarrhea on mom shirt xddddd like binky babby big big bicu xd lol

xddddd diaper stinking in bed xddd wear big man jeans full of rotten stink poop xddd lol like babby leak xdd on apron like velho chest stinky poop machine lol

stinky stinky poop on dog face xddd dog eat my weenie xddd

play with furry pet dog butt xdd poop on dog face barf sniff like great big babby fart xd

binky babby fat poop diaper lol mom smell poo in diaper xdd change diaper diarrhea explode in face xxddddd mom cries like big babby poop on daddy face lol xd

binky babby food like big man smell xdd hike poop on blackberries like velho chestmachine poopy diaper on trail xd dad change on cow i poop cow xdddddd diarrhea stinking beans fart xdddddddddddddd

balls in diaper xdd sweaty balls full of stinky poop diaper leak xdd poop in bed ruin covers xdddd

stinky pooop xddd poop in recess kids run away xddd rub poop on teacher big stinky babby fart lol poopy pants full of stinky diarrhea

xd toilet paper stuck in butt xddd covered stinky rotten poop xddd like babby smell velho xd poopy pants in big man jeans xdd underwear diaper leak stinky smelly poopy diarrhea lol

Donald J. Trump, the 45th and 47th President of the United States

zoo-we-mama

And the 2016 Nobel Prize for literature is awarded to. . .

*record scratch* yep that's me. Bet you're wondering how I ended up in this situation. Well it all began back in 1959.

please guys

Two NSA agents walk into a bar. The bartenders says hello gentleman, first time here? the men reply yes it is. The bartender says great, would you like to hear our specials. the agents go no thanks we heard them earlier.

i is therefore i is

The only vegetable you shouldn't take into a boat with you is a leek.

Your ghey bro

"Jesus wept."

jesus what a cry baby...

My teacher, bit of an asshole. Now he has shit in his mouth.

A beast God made, in semi-human figure,
Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger!

The good the dad the hood the bad the mood the everything of life a bastard lied a lay or slay or kanye bowl a rowl a Rawls theory just is justice modern thought wept wept wept truly Krept preppy style fuck that bitch in doggy style stylish british girls pussies puppies duck tales original vinyl discs disco pop modern Einstein rofl dota 2 play 4 free bastard ol dirty

I did fins it funny
I love u

"So as I strapped Billy into the wall-mounted chair and fastened the seatbelt, I said to him 'Buckle up, chum!' and he had this look of horror on his face he wouldn't stop struggling and I know it must've stunk a lot worse than when I had it done to myself, but I said 'That's what my father did to me and that's what I am doing to you!' to which he shouted back at me 'But I'm sixteen, dad. I'm fucking sixteen!'"

Made me laugh.

I'm bloo pilled instod of red pilld

Man found dead with broken neck, adjacent trampoline.

Your imitation flavour is tofu.

thanks, a chuckle or a hearty laugh

push me to the edge, all my friends are dead.

Something in between

Hey guys, Ive been thinking alot about writing a book- a zombie apocalypse book that is unlike anything that has ever been writen or directed, I know it sounds like Im a stupid faggot thatll just end up making a shit book that doesnt even get published, but its not like that; Give me a chance and Ill show you anons that my idea is worthy of your time- If this thread is successful Ill write the first chapter of it on here, Although it'll be the only chapter I share because I dont want anyone stealing my ideas: So, if you read my book eventually and it has the same first chapter you know that the idea started on here first

Alright go on.

thanks, i feel like youre being nice tho kek

"Poo Poo, KAKA, Pee pee, lol dookie in my bunghole hehehe, GAAAAAAYYYY. lmao FAGGOT, BRRRRRRRRP"

Knock knock

who's there?

Moot

All trumpfags can do is brag about winning the election because this presidency has been so unproductive and shitty. Now THAT is funny!! :))

This is funny dude

The nationalists thought they were electing a blood and iron defender of western civilization when they were actually supporting a melting baked potato neocon with Alzheimer's who rots his brain with TV and constantly shits into his old man diaper.

PRetty funny dude

I'm just gonna skip this step and go ahead and say the punchline.
>kys, Newfag.

Someone rate my joke

this is one of the worst threads on Veeky Forums

old

Not to brag, but...I'm currently nearly 500 pages into Ulysses and finding it quite deserving of its reputation among the cultural elite. Indeed it is my bedside table book currently, but that is simply because I do not spend many hours of my daily life apart from it. Joyce, while hopelessly erudite to some, is truly a beacon of enlightenment for me, an opportunity, finally, to commune with a worthy mind.

I snickered.
8/10, would laugh out loud if the joke was presented by a comedian.

>LION OF THE SEA SINKS CHINK IN DRINK: "CHINKS STINK," SAYS SEA LION, AND WINKS
-Anonymous

Kinda kafkaesque desu.