Social Skills

Are books on social skills worth reading? if they are then which ones are the best?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=G_SmshF2ynw&t=575s
youtube.com/watch?v=BVYuMhjk58o
youtube.com/watch?v=9syO1bHeymc
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

I have heard that this one is alright. Has anyone read it who could tell me the effect it had in their interactions?

If I get 6 someone will post in my thread.

How to Skin Friends and Consume People

Hehe nice one!

Seriously though. I have 30 dollars on a card for books and have plenty of pretentious and fun books to read so I thought about engaging this concept. I began reading for many reasons but one was to learn how to express myself better. Wouldn't a book specifically about this be more efficient?

I can't help but think that there is a chance that conversation is hardly a skill and more down to what you have to offer and how pleasant you are to be around. If you lack either of those then you can't make up for it with sophistry.

Tbh you're better off getting a job that puts you in front of people for most of the day. Even being a cashier for a month will help you get over your social ills that are, largely caused by self consciousness and anxiety. Better than reading about socializing is to constantly practice your social skills

What if I can't do something like that yet? I have always had social issues and after some unfortunate events a few years ago I feel like an alien around people.

I went to the zoo with someone and their friend group yesterday. We drove out of state to get their. To avoid conversation, I read the the whole time we were in the car. When we were walking around I always got squeezed to the back following behind their line like a "T". They kept saying "user are you okay?" "Come join the conversation!" "You're so quiet.". The girl in the group would look at me occasionally or tease me for what was obviously the reason she felt sorry for me or didn't want me to be left out or something.

I was constantly just thinking about how stupid I am. They are coming up with jokes and I am consistently left with nothing to say. In my defense I didn't know them and they had different hobbies than me. Still I felt really uncomfortable and barely held back tears at some points. It really is that pathetic.

My point is I couldn't do a job like that for more than a day. My mind is constantly against me and I would snap eventually. To have the skill to bullshit through social interaction would be enough. That is my goal for now. So would a book on that specifically do any good? In my mind it might be like lifting weights. Say I don't have the strength lift x amount of weight properly. Even though if I could do it properly it would be more efficient, I can't so my best hope is to lift

Ahem. Get *there.

>What if I can't do something like that yet?
Stopped reading there, this board just isn't for you then I guess

why where you going with them in the first place?

One is good friend who ive known for a long time. The other two I have known for about as long but I never related to them much. Anyways one of them got 4 tickets in an auction to go the largest zoo in America. They needed a 4th and they thought of me. I did it mostly to see some cool bears but I figured it wouldn't hurt to get out of my comfort zone.

I see just as pathetic people start threads here every other day. People here just write longer comments.

Honestly the best one you could get are Games People Play and I'm OK, You're OK.

Charisma on Command is a good youtube channel for this kind of thing. Not great, he makes a lot of repeat videos where he needlessly tries to improve points he already made but it's a useful channel if you care about this kind of thing.

youtube.com/watch?v=G_SmshF2ynw&t=575s
youtube.com/watch?v=BVYuMhjk58o
youtube.com/watch?v=9syO1bHeymc

inb4 someone accuses me of being him

Ive never read it but Ive seen The Charisma Myth reccomended a fair number of times. It might be worth checking out.

What every body is saying is pretty good as far as I know. Better yet, you can get it free just by searching for the PDF version.

i feel you man

Yeah, ok. So now with this new information I would recommend therapy, user.

And I will add to my book recommendations the Happiness Trap.

allright heres what you fucking do basically

just be yourself
figure out what the other person is interested in and then talk about that
try and give a shit about what they are talking about
smile
dont be judgmental and shit
keep your body language open
dont complain
look people in the eyes
realize that people really dont give a shit about you which is good
compliment people
but dont say or do shit that compromises who you are as a person
stop giving a shit what people think about you unless your like a fucking piece of shit crackhead or a fatass or just like a lazy piece of shit
do shit that makes you uncomfortable or things that you are scared of because it builds confidence
thats pretty much everything you need to know

I advocate meditation. The reason being, the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable you are around others. The more comfortable you are around others, the more comfortable others are around you.

And you don't have to think about it, or try to act in a certain way, everything comes naturally. You can be slient or talkative if you want. People will be comfortable around you regardless.

I recommend sitting in front of a computer all day.
I suffer the same affliction and it really helps pass the time while you sit around in isolation waiting for the universe to be merciful enough to kill you.

on that note i feel like theres some social skills that could be learned from reading the bhagavad gita. well not really social skills but just how to be comfortable with yourself and thusforth other people like you were saying

the gita is extremely powerful and life transforming. one could say its also the best social skills book, simply by teaching one to be naturally at ease with oneself in all manner of lifes situations.

I hopefully will get some soon. In my experience though therapists are a bunch of old farts who tell the same story every week. I don't know that there is a anyone near me that can deal with my brand of insanity.
It's a shame I already know all those things. I just can't do them very well. For instance my smile is creepy. My cheeks ball up with lots of skin, the left side of my face has muscles that don't work for some reason making me always look kind of sad or angry on it, and my big nose and pointy chin make me look like some cartoonish devil. I just look creepy when I smile so I'm not sure I should ever do it.

I used to meditate a lot. I was all out hippy dippy a few years ago when things were better. I started getting OCD like feelings with strange head sensations last year though and every time I would meditate I'd just get so flustered it would make my symptoms worse. I might be able to try again sometime soon. After quitting all drugs, caffeine and soda I have alleviated the worst of my illness. Trust me though I have probably read more about meditation and eastern philosophy then anyone in this thread.
This guy gets it. If you drown out your inner demons with entertainment they must go away at some point r-right? Surprisingly I'm a neet. Most of my days are spent pursuing hobbies, working out, watching Netflix and playing video games. It sounds so nice on paper without the addition of the quicksand of my tormented mind.

Well therapists should be a bit more switched on than that but if you happen to get the same bad luck and you're going to drop them anyway, I suggest telling them what you think of them and seeing what happens. Confidential anyway, so you've got nothing to lose.

If there's anyone in your area (psychologist) who does Cognitive Bihevioral Therapy, CBT for short, you should give that a try. It's the most effective kind of psychotherapy currently used, and apart from really heavy cases of depression and suicidality it doesn't advocate drugs.

I think I need drugs to be honest. When I was younger I used to be swept away by music. It really was everything to me not in a normal teenage way. I studied music theory religiously, took violin, and guitar lessons, played in jazz band, marching band, my own band/professional touring bands, did choir and small ensemble, wrote music everyday, etc. it gave me indescribable feelings that made life worth it. These last 2 years I have gotten next to nothing from it. Everything is only interesting in a logical way and it has no effect on my mood. I think my serotonin is dangerously low. I found out it's first discovered function was to regulate blood density or something similar and I have migraines any time I eat something that has an effect on my veins or blood.

I think I have Graves' disease but I can't be certain because of the fucked up healthcare system in America. A lot of it is on me because I have health insurance through the military and have to use what is applicable to neets. Still I haven't been able to see a doctor since I went to the emergency room last December.

I really hate just to complain to everyone here. I'm really sorry. I still would like everyone's opinion on the core topic. Everything that seems to be in most social skills books is obvious and more along the lines of motivational self help trite. I have found very few books that are specific enough to be actually useful.

honestly dude i would probably get on medication just for long enough to really get your shit together completely like spiritually mentally financially and socially and then take what you learned from your time while medicated to be able to do it without a crutch. what i did was just studied psychology so that i could use what i learned from studying it and then use it on myself rather than actually go to a therapist because that shits expensive.