"This is not between you and me, Marya", said Pierre, "it's between War and Peace."

>This quite the journey, was it not, Achilles?
>Quite; a real Odyssey if you will.

"start with the greeks" my ass

downvote

>Aeneas, is that you?
>No father. Call me Aeneid

resume with the romans? I think not

and that is what is called a hamlet

>And so I entered Kingdom of God and gave my Confessions.
St. Augustine's collect works, pg 885

>Looking back, my friend, these truly were the letters of Abelard and Helouise

medieval schmedieval

>...and we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over, this is water
Absolutely ridiculous

>Into the sunset they walked. Two great friends, two colleagues, and most of all two kooky characters. There names: Mason and Dixon.

This needs to end.

>"Whew Pompeius, that's wat I like to call a true Bellum Civili"

>... and so he really was The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Dover Thrift Editions) 60367th Edition

>And from that day forward he was no mere Gatsby, he was a good Gatsby, nay, The Great Gatsby
Cringe.

>As he set the plume down and watched the ink dry on the scroll with the fire crackling and his wife and child skinning the rest of the goat, gently at first but then slicing and pulling harder as if tired of the task but resolute to finish, J.C. sat back and put hid hand over the mound of vellum. "Woman, child.your venerable master has finished his work. You may fetch the feet wash at once." at this they waled away into the next room. J.C. let out a loud and wet fart. "ahhh Good father I needed that, now to send off The Holy Bible to the printers. The End.

>Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said,
>Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!
>*record scratch* hold up, hold up
>you're probably wondering how I got myself into this mess...

>Captain Spook: What do you like better Stirner, the Ego or Its?
>Stirner: I can't decide dude, both The Ego and It's Own

Can we kick this hack out of the Union of Egotists already?

Probably the most obtuse and banal I've ever seen. Awesome.

>"So, how long did you distract him before he forgot he wanted to execute you?"
>"Shit, it had to have been like 1,001 nights," replied Shahrezad.

Dont say that shit man I just copped War and Peace

That's an absolutely goat sentence

>MRS. ALVING. Ghosts! When I heard Regina and Oswald in there, it was as though Ghosts rose up before me. But I almost think, truly, that we are all of us Ghosts, Pastor Manders.

— Ghosts

>SOLNESS. [Laughs.] No, no—of course not! Heaven forbid! Only think—to be Solness, The Master Builder!

-- The Master Builder

>DR. STOCKMAN. ...Let the whole country perish, let all these people be exterminated!
>VOICES FROM THE CROWD. That is talking like An Enemy of the People!

— An Enemy of the People

>NORA. And you’ve always been so kind to me. But our house has never been anything but a play-room. I have been your doll wife, just as at home I was Daddy’s doll child. And the children in turn have been my dolls, in A Doll's House.

— A Doll’s House

>GREGERS. Isn’t it a duck ?
>EKDAL.[Hurt.] Why, of coarse it's a duck.
>HlALMAR. But what kind of duck, do you think ?
>HEDVIG. It's not just a common duck
>EKDAL. Sh!
>GREGERS. And it's not a Muscovy duck either.
>EKDAL. No, Mr. — Werle ; ifs not a Muscovy duck; for it's The Wild Duck !

--The Wild Duck

>PROFESSOR RUBEK. Oh, Irene--that might have been our life.--And that we have forfeited--we two.
>IRENE. We see the irretrievable only when--[Breaks off.]
>PROFESSOR RUBEK.[Looks inquiringly at her.] When---?
>IRENE. When We Dead Awaken.

—When We Dead Awaken

>Bernick: And we--we have a long earnest day of work ahead of us; I most of all. But let it come; only keep close round me you true, loyal women. I have learned this too, in these last few days; it is you women that are The Pillars of Society.

— The Pillars of Society

>It is a hot summer’s day. PEER GYNT, a sturdy youth of twenty, comes down the path…

--Peer Gynt

>LOVBORG. [Repeats softly.] Hedda Gabler!

--Hedda Gabler

Ibsen was the ultimate hack

Kek

>And so off they went, without a care in the world. It had been a tough few days, but they all swore to remember each moment, each minor detail, as if it were their last. They would cherish this memory, these friends, and the adventures they were bound to have together in the future, adventures they'd take pains to remember until the day they died. Three men, one women, and a dog, off once again. Call them a club, sure, even a gang, if you please; You could even call them friends, bonded for life by recollection. But when it's all said and done, when the future has become again the past, call them by their chosen name: The Recognitions.

>The auctioneer cleared his throat. Oedipa settled back, to await the crying of lot 49.
If you hadn't read the book you would have totally believed this was something I made up for this thread

>explaining the joke
so that's the power of new sincerity...

> He asked the black man, "After our long adventure in this book, you've never told me -- why do you look at your reflection all the time?"
> The black man took his large disk out of his lip, turned away from the mirror, and uttered, "because, I am the Nigger of Narcissus."

hey.... Joseph Conrad........ *snore*

>and Suttree...

WHAT THE FUCK

My personal fave:

>And when she awoke, a thin light hung round her burning eyes, and it was all The Best American Short Stories 2015, Edited by T.C. Boyle.

>I pulled out my seven inch exacto(c) no. 1 cutting blade from her now untethered scalp, to reveal the face of Patty Winters. It was then that I realized, I'm an American Psycho.

fuckin really

>Atticus said to Jem one day, 'I'd rather you shot at tin cans in the back yard, but I know you'll go after birds. Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.'"

>The people come with nets to fish for potatoes in the river, and the guards hold them back; they come in rattling cars to get the dumped oranges, but the kerosene is sprayed. And they stand still and watch the potatoes float by, listen to the screaming pigs being killed in a ditch and covered with quicklime, watch the mountains of oranges slop down to a putrefying ooze; and in the eyes of the people there is the failure; and in the eyes of the hungry there is a growing wrath. In the souls of the people the grapes of wrath are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage.

I just want to punch everybody that considers this a good book square in the jaw

>"I might not have gone but for you, and so have missed the finest study I ever came across: a study in scarlet, eh?"

Great detective novel my ass!

>I. Laying Plans

>1. Sun Tzu said: The art of war is of vital importance to the State.

Stopped reading 1 sentence into the first part, this book is total fucking trash.

>There was only one catch and that was Catch-22

>and truly, their behaviour marked the complete degeneration of our collective will, a broken testiment of this endeavour, battlecry and song of mourning for this embridled love, our work, our Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition
Yikes... More like et all a bunch of hacks.

>Mr. Shakespeare speaks to you across three hundred years, Mr. Stoner.

I knew this book was just a meme.

nice

A piece of the monstrous Whale surfaced, splashing walls of murky water aboard. "Don't you understand?", Ahab interrogated, "That's not Moby...that's Moby's Dick!"

The Trial and the short stories are great Kafka. The metamorphosis is entry level and only hailed by plebs

fitting isn't it?

>Steven's been saying the joke for almost... oh my! I can't even tell! It must've been a whole eternity!
>Truly, she said, It's like an Infinite Jest!

Ibsen is so bad in translation that it hurts

> "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars." Hazel uttered. And in that moment, I could swear that we were infinite.

John Green really is overrated.

>What do you call a set of devil twins?
>What?
>2666!
Bolaño you piece of shit

>...and so he hit him...with his fist.
Goethe you fucking hack

>Yep, that's it. That's all I've got. The Origin of Species, you could call it.

Nice try atheists.

>"Before reaching the final line, however, he had already understood that he would
never leave that room, for it was foreseen that the city of mirrors (or mirages)
would be wiped out by the wind and exiled from the memory of men at the precise
moment when Aureliano Babilonia would finish deciphering the parchments, and
that everything written on them was unrepeatable since time immemorial and
forever more, because races condemned to One Hundred Years of Solitude did not
have a second opportunity on earth."

YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT, GABO

>" In-A-Bhagavad-Gita, baby, don't you know that I love you? "
Vyasa you fucking hack what are you doing

lul

> I asked him, "are you Pablo Picasso? Why are you swinging your dick around like that?"
> He answered, "it is the dance of my people, the Helicopter. And... my name is The Magus."

Shit

>"Thar she blows!" "Wow, is that really him?" "Aye, that's Moby-Dick; or The Whale"

I'm halfway through AtD and I'm pretty sure he does title drop (or at least comes close to it) a few times in the book

I honestly think that's an amazing final line though; one of the few times it works

>Ah, yes, what a man he was. If I had to say three random things in sequence, I suppose they would be Bartleby, The Scrivener: A Story of Wall-Street

>Well Sheherzade, those were some wonderful stories. But what do you call them?
>Where are we?
>Arabia
>What time is it?
>Night
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH

...Achilles only appears in the Odyssey as a ghost in one paragraph

Like, I get the joke, but you could have named anyone else, like Telemachus or even Athena.

>he actually really hated her, but he couldn't help himself. His desire was really big and hard to stop, like a streetcar, a streetcar named desire.

>he ACTUALLY read the Greeks
Can't make this shit up

>[...], thus spoke Zarathustra.
Thanks, Neechee

>he hasn't given the basis of western literature and thought a try
this shit writes itself

>Sergey Ivanovitch sighed and made no answer. he was annoyed she had spoken about the mushrooms.

seriously wtf.

Kek