I really do feel like I'm going to kill myself, any books that might help me, I just keep sinking

>The Bible
Do this only if you have no regard for truth and just want a feelgood story to go on through the day.
Actually don't do that (read it onky for cultural reasons), since for people like you it's basically brainwashing.

Unironically read the Gospels. It can't hurt.

Go /outside/

t. reddit commie shill
fuck off.

What do people hope to accomplish with suicide? Ill never get it

It's time to start meditating my friend.
Also are you already seeing a therapist? If not, why?

This is what the average Veeky Forums bibleposter looks like, OP.
If you're interested in reading the Bible, do so in religious reading groups and for God's sake, don't trust anyone on Veeky Forums.

Fedon
Steppenwolf
Moby Dick

It's a little `sophomoric' for lack of a better word but I liked Beautiful Losers

>be me
>a brick crush my ribcase when I was 5
>fucked up my respiratory system
>literally whenever I breathe I feel stabbing motion
>if I cough I'll cough blood
>everynight I'll move in the wrong way and I'll wake up in excruciating pain, crying and unable to scream, since that would only make it worse
>it is absolutely certain that I won't get to be 40
>very likely that as things will get worse one of my limbs will go in gangrene and it will have to be amputated

>tfw this user can't understand why would anyone commit suicide
>tfw the worse thing in this user's life is boredom

I hope you're writing user, I know I'd like to hear more about your outlook on things.

What's up, OP?

Just take opiates.

I'm honing my craft. I've found my experience to be really close to the one's of Leopardi, if you're interested in a similar outlook on life.

to escape the pain

OP here thanks for the help everyone. I appreciate all the replies even the joke ones.

For those of you saying Nietzsche where do I start? I've only really seen a summary of his ideas, I've never even really read any philosophy texts.

See a therapist. Make a blogspot/journal it will make you self-aware about your own feelings. try to write daily on it even about the most insignificant thing that happened around you. Try to go outside, no even joking and try to expend and keep time around people you might care.

wow that sucks user. im dealing with some chronic pain stuff right now myself but nothing like that

i second the guy who recommended meditation. there are two aspects to this kind of suffering - the bodily pain/discomfort, and the cognitive experience of anguish, torment, despair, whathaveyou. even if you're stuck with the former, there are techniques that can help you deal with the latter. it sounds like a hard road for you if you feel pain every time you breathe but it's still worth trying. what else is there to do?

go to a church

I'm not OP, and I already take advantage of anything that can make my life more tolerable.
regarding meditation, I've done it since I was 10 and it helped me immensely. Although my situation is truly miserable, thanks to meditation I have full control over my own psyche even in this catastrophic existence. I can choose how to react to pain, and I have learnt long ago how to dismiss desperation as a paralyzing experience. Whatever problem OP has, I'm sure meditation will be priceless to him.

OP great story user, this might sound stupid but do you have a mediation guide or anything

i always get bored when i meditate tho

geneology of morals, as long as you know a little about rome and christianity you'll be ok, also twilight of the idols and the anti-christ has some nice aphoristic shit you can randomly read for a boost

...

Read 13 Reasons Why, hate it, and let it ruin suicide for you.

That will certainly help him kill himself

amazon.com/Mind-Illuminated-Complete-Meditation-Integrating/dp/0990847705

Just go to your local buddhist temple (meditation is still perfectly compatible with a non-religious attitude) and ask someone to teach you Vipassana meditation, and keep doing it until meditating becomes effortless (you should be able to approsch e meditstive state in a few seconds, knce you are proficient).

It's probably due to your attention span. Keep doing so, at your own pace (but always oush yourself a little) until it becomes a non-problem. Unfortunately there is no other way but practicing. Once you'll internalize it boredom won't be a problem anymore (both in and outside of meditation)

i listened to this whole lecture series:

youtube.com/watch?v=kJvDpoOS3qw

and i found that most buddhism "mindfulness" shit is really neurotic crap, i just want to meditate but no "mindfulness" please

God bless you guys, thank you for these posts.

Do not start with Nietzche

>Do not start with Nietzche

bullshit, you don't need to have every greek up your ass to understand geneology since it's about christianity, fuck off memefag

(You) youtube.com/watch?v=SXDo2LOubjA

>suppose truth is a woman, then what?

great diss t b h alt-right faggot got owned

Kneechee fanboys are the worst people on this board.

So you got dealt a shitty hand, how is that worse than eternal oblivion?

>Kneechee fanboys are the worst people on this board.

Fuck I'm tilted, it's kneecha

It's the most important thing ever written and you can't possibly be an intellectual without having read it.

>be a regular teenager
>kinda popular
>slightly rebellious but also good in school
>start to get sick
>start having to miss school
>eventually have to drop out
>no friends now
>spend time playing video games, reading, and on Veeky Forums
>can still entertain myself even though I'm lonely
>eyes start to go
>can't play video games or read anymore
>have to listen to audiobooks
>can hardly be on Veeky Forums without pain
>biggest problem is still that I'm lonely
>just want to have someone to talk to and connect with
>years of isolation have made talking with others uncomfortable, even though it's all I want.
>no future in anything other than the literal sense
>will almost certainly sit and get worse until I die alone

What do you have? I'm sorry

Why would you need books to help you kill yourself? There are instructions all over the internet.

>The Bible
>Feelgood story

>there's meaning
>there's a loving God
>you can do the right thing and get to experience eternal bliss

It's a feelgood story with some compromises here and there.

>I'll eventually maybe feel good
>I have hope that eventually I will feel good
>Before that, I have to...
I think you mistake the fruits of their labor for them feeling good.

try the book. guy who wrote it is rock solid teacher with decades of experience, and no not affiliated with the 'mindfulness' movement. i wouldn't be so repelled by anything to do with 'buddhism' though, a lot of great meditation teachers have gone through the buddhist tradition. not a door to close if you're interested in meditation.

buddhism and mindfulness are separate things fyi, 'mindfulness' is considerably more shallow and comes from the academic psychology establishment

>there's meaning
Why is this a feelgood thing? Is it because you suffer?
Riddle me this; what's the meaning of feeling good? What's the meaning of rejecting it? What can you place above feeling good if the world and anything in it doesn't have any meaning?
Isn't that a 'feelgood' thing that ends up hurting you? Your desire for supremacy of some sort, with a sacrifice.

To be honest, I'm enjoying how hurt you are.

yeah i don't like mindfulness because it goes against flowstate, which daoism promotes, mindfulness is about always being a self-conscious sperg, pretty stupid to be honest, meditation without that shit bundled should be fine tho

peaceful pill handbook
essays and aphorisms by arthur schopenhauer
the idiot by dostoyevsky

Read Cioran and you will surely commit suicide

>man up, pussy. also, go get help because suicide is wrong but not from me.

typical normalfag.

The Stranger

And stop being a pussy

>Steppenwolf

The whole spiel about finding peace by planning to carry out suicide at a certain age. I did exactly the same. That resonated with me.

That book really helped me learn to observe the world in detail yet retain a view on the 'bigger picture'.

Op, lower expectations, give yourself small goals. Read philosophy.

Read Atlas Shrugged,it will change you. Other ppl here will say its dumb or shit but only because they are idiots.

I can vouch for this. Great book. OP, don't just rely on books though (and David Burns would say the same thing). If you really are on the edge, please seek some help outside the Internet. Family, friends, professionals, whatever it takes...

lol enjoy having blood on your hands

The Fountainhead is better.