Write whats on your mind

help me

I am stuck in an infantile mindset where it is shameful to feel attraction to a girl and therefore do not show interest in any girl even if they show interest in me and I am actually interested. I think I need to see someone about this issue but i'm too ashamed to tell someone.

>tfw no jewish gf with superior taste in literature than me

How do I know when I'm done writing? My book, or whatever, is so open-ended that it might never be finished, or I might have said everything, or touched on everything, already. But part of the point is that it's supposed to be full length. Due to page-breaks, it's 88 pages long, but only 12k words. I dunno man. I feel like words are the wrong thing to be hung up on but it seems important... It's hard to write when I'm doing something different on every page. I also don't want to show it to anybody, as it might be premature. But if I don't, I won't know if it's finished or not, not really. Fuck's sake. I always make things impossible, for the sake of challenge...

my dad is going crazy. I live on the other side of the ocean and every night, I have to listen to him go more and more crazy. he's destroyed his own life, and I don't have the means to help him. lately, he's stopped saying I love you when he hangs up. Instead he just spends hours saying the same shit. I love you, I fucked up, Everything is ending. Tonight, he told me that he's proud of me and that no matter what happens, I have to live a better life than he did. Don't forget me. I feel like dying. I feel like he's already dead. I'm scared.

Rejection is easy to handle, the issue is when you succeed, then what?

No. It's ok. I do feel the same. By any chance have you been isolated for a long time? How do you feel when your friends talk out loud about girls?

...

...

I waaaaaant to be happily in loveeee!! I want to feel my heart beating when I see the person I love coming to hug me after no long seeing each other. And not saddly in love anymore, it's tiring. Why do I get involved emotionally so much? I hate it. Am I waiting for someone to save me? But no one is going to but just myself. I just want to be happy next to someone I really can trust. His happiness is also important. I'm young yet but I'm afraid might never happen.

I moved in with my cousin his gf and two other friends. I know they all really wish i didnt live here but they dont know anyone else to be able to take my spot in the house and they cant afford rent without me.

When we first moved in things were ok and we all hung out but the dust has settled and i went thru my usual motions of bipolar staying up through the middle of the night doing drugs being irritable and hating everyone and now i really regret living with 4 potheads who sit around and do nothing but smoke pot and watch tv

Now they go and do stuff together and outside of handing me rent at the end of the month they ignore me. I hate being bipolar. It doesnt matter if i lift weights eat right get good sleep have great hobbies and am going to a coding bootcamp to get a job in back end/C Sharp/.Net. Nope I still am stuck in this mental hell where I cant stop myself being unbelievably arrogant/freewheeling for a few days then trying to sleep my life away for the next few days, rinse and repeat

Probably doesnt help im addicted to 3meo. My cousin confronted me about my 3meo use. Of course if I let him know that being addicted to 3meo is no different than being addicted to pot (except I dont need to do 3meo everyday... whose the addict now?). But "pot isnt dangerous". Lmao stoners are so fucking stupid

Someone was taking my food so I marked everything, and wrote a note politely asking everyone not to eat my food, its [here] and [here]. Someone wrote lol over it. No one says anything to me.

Guess its my fault for moving in with 18-20 year old min wage potheads

>posting a trap

These cheese nips are really good

post pics, m8

I pretty much isolate by choice. My few friends I don't get to see much anymore and I don't want to go places alone so I just stay home. I don't dislike being alone, but honestly I would like to bring a girl home once in a awhile. The only talking out loud my friends do about girls is to mention how they fucked some girl that I have no idea who she is.

Suicide seems like the only option but I can't even bring myself to do that.

no

faggot

Falling years backwards in my psychological progress for a "mistake" I'm not even sure was my fault and I'm not able to fix it. Really believing some people are destined to be damned in this world.

die

What?

bite me

*bites u*

god so much really, if we are give refined knowledge can we build a system with back up to its precepts

>not just spending your time on /pol/ complaining about how women and Jews are to blame for everything

pleb

Do not reply to the thread derailing shill above.

This thread is cancerous anyway. It has nothing to do with literature. Just sad faggots sharing their 'feels'

...

my brothers

i have/had something like this, when i was a little kid and i started liking girls i knew my family would make a big deal out of it like "ohhh look at her? you like that don't you? oh yeah he likes it!" blah blah blah and embarrass me, so i started pretending i wasn't into girls still, but then it went on far too long and even when i did finally start flirting with girls and dating i just never openly expressed interest in girls, i'm mostly over it now, but that definitely fucked up my development when i was younger

...

The only thing worth thinking about is death. How is everyone not thinking about it all the time? Are they all just better at hiding it than I am? No matter what I do, it loops back around to my eventual death somehow. There's no reason to do anything, to want anything, to try and achieve anything. I can't stop thinking about death

i hate being a loser and i can't do anything about it ;D

well you could try deleting all those childish oriental cartoons for a start

I've made progress everyday since the incident. An old demon paid a visit recently. They whisper dark seduction in my ear. Immediate satisfaction outweighs inner peace. I recognize an old face in the mirror. How much longer will I able to look myself in the eye?

That sweet sweet darkness...

hell ya just torrented the audiobook of this shit, tonight gone be comfy af pham

>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠢⠄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⡆⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣷⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⠿⠋⠙⢿⣷⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠘⠁⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣤⡤⠖⠂⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
>⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀

I have a great girlfriend and I don't even want her because I want more time for reading, writing and self improvement and I have no desire to be in a relationship. I don't want to end it because my family loves her and she would be devastated. I feel trapped.

get her pregnant.

Good call

Your relationship with her is an excuse not to do those things, not the reason.

I feel this. I've given up all hope of falling in love at this point. I used to want to fall in love with the pretty girls I saw on the street. As time went by and I realized that wouldn't happen, I just wanted them to return my smile. Now, I just want them to acknowledge that I exist. They don't though. I'm invisible.

she probably hates you.

Inertia kills, and the way to escape it is forward momentum.

I want to be an Army Ranger. I don't want to be with my girlfriend anymore but I feel sorry for her. I wish my commute wasn't so long but I can't afford a place closer to work. I hate the cold. Little dogs are literally rats.

it is possible to become uninvisible

don't fell sorry for her, just break up, you're hurting her more.

I despise myself with all of my heart. I am not at all suicidal, but I would be very happy to die in a sudden accident.

I had someone else praise my writing, this time a professor at my undergrad university whose judgment I respect very much. Yet I can't seem to get anything published.

>Little dogs are literally rats.

This.

There's a lot of alternate history books about, what if the nazis won WWII? or, what if the confederacy won the US civil war?

I wonder if there are books about what the world would've been like if italy had somehow won WWII, or maybe if rome never fell.

posted in the critique thread but fits better here:

blowing out vape to cover up weed smoke
at ur low income part time job/joke
below the poverty line what it means to be broke
but reading nietzsche on your breaks? now that's woke
suckin on his words, gazing past the fakes,
buying lotsa herb, having what it takes
u called me a nerd, now I rhyme like blake
u cant find the verb but i give girls the shakes
listen what I say, this'll be the day
rollin in the hay, fuckin like we gay (they do it better)
say now
cree-ay-tivity gets u all the pussy
be a freak for me dont start with the mushy
facebook messages, ladies getting pushy
u wont see my bed again unless u got some tushy
nawnaw im just kidding
cuz girl I am so sensitive I promise I know how to live
ive read so many dead men they power lurkin in my pen
not dolce and gabbana but deleuze and guattari
if knowledge is wealth im rich like a qatari
if sickness is health im ill like bad inari
if u my taylor swift ill take u on safari
like in her video
now this is degenerate, inveterate
but would you have me writing letters? lovey dovey earnestness
spirit bound in fetters, papa with the sternness
im more of a mama's boy, a make your girl a-cumma boy
take her in the bathroom teach her about leo bloom
do you know what's thats from? now im in up to my thumb
its easier on molly, her eyes all big and dolly
oh shit you know this vulgar but I really did indulge her
dont post this on instagram, keep it gay on Veeky Forums
shout out to my faggots, all you beta boys from Veeky Forums
one day we gon make it, even those of us with clits
but now im out of stamina, cant hear to my anima
so here I call it quits, kill yourself nigger

Salazzle is only for fugs

It's been 4 years since we've met and she's still the only person I'm attracted to - not lust but a near-selfless interest in her well-being. She's the only person I've met who I think has a similar mindset, to the extent that I've spoken to others about my plans for the future and they reply "that sounds like something X would say" when she was nowhere in the prior conversation. Today, she told me that she plans to leave the country in a year, and I don't know what to make of it except as a timer to act in a more significant way.

>I don't know what to make of it except as a timer to act in a more significant way.
This is the right mindset my man

I have discovered the truth of the apocalypse. It's all so clear now. This is what mankind has been searching for, for two thousand years. But there is a problem. It's difficult to get people to believe me. If only they would listen, at least be willing to humor me, then the world would end in an explosion of light and fire. Either the ascension is imminent, or maybe we will enter another long drought of darkness, and it all rests in my hands. I don't think a man has ever felt so important.

Every week I become more and more attracted to my co-worker. Her personality, her body, her eyes...I think its her eyes the most because when I picture her they're always what I see in my head. Bright blue and shiny. And I feel kind of guilty. I have a girlfreind who I love, but shes a different person. Truth be told I want both of them. And if I could I would. But I can't. So I'll keep on looking forward to every sunday. So I can see her, talk to her, make her laugh and smile. But I won't stop fantasising about her. And if she knew what I wished I could do to her I know she'd be repulsed. But thats Ok I guess, I've accepted that I'm a lil fucked up.

Pretty sure every other crazy with delusions of grandeur before you has felt the exact same importance.

I think I might be in love with one of my close female friends. She said to another one of our friends in the past that she finds me attractive but isn't attracted to me. I don't really know what to do.

>Little dogs are literally rats.
So are big ones, you're just scared of them.

>But thats Ok I guess, I've accepted that I'm a lil fucked up.

This is a very average "grass is always greener" longing. Hardly fucked up. It just means that you have an active libido and you like to daydream. If you cheat on your gf that would be a scumbag move but if you never do then what is the issue here?

Big dogs are almost always more quiet, calm, and well behaved.

Not the ones in my neighborhood, unfortunately

It has to do with their intelligence.
Smart dogs bark less. Small dogs were breed to be rat catchers or fashion accesories, not smart. If you want smart dogs, go for herding dogs and hunting dogs.

My relationship with my girlfriend is perfect on pretty much every level, apart from the fact that I'm not really attracted to her. My dick is getting impatient but I feel like if you have something so great it's worth sticking around to see if it'll change

she is gaining weight, which is great because she's very thin and I love curves

I just finished reading Crown and country, I have a week before I start my new job so I would like to read another book but I'm not sure of what I want to read:

>Young Stalin by Simon Sebag Monteifore
>Stalin the court of the red Tsar by Simon Sebag Montefore
>The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde
>Brave new world by Aldous Huxley
>To finish reading the Faeire Queene by Edmund Spence
Or one of the following plague books that there was a thread about yesterday:
>The great Morality - John Kelly
>Plagues and peoples - William H.Mcneil

The picture of dorian grey and Brave new world are the only ones I recognize, I'd go for Oscar Wilde

Yeah, I'm thinking of reading some fiction since I've just been doing a binge of history recently. Will be quite interesting since I've heard of Oscar Wilde but I haven't the slightest clue about him

Or I am just another misunderstood genius, born a little too soon in a world ill prepared for the caliber of his brilliance.

well, that's the dream

He was a boy diddler.

No, little dogs are everything bad about manlets expressed without filter. Noisy, bitey, stinky little cat creatures that only women think are dogs.

Big dogs are pals who don't need to bark because they know they can bite.

She will leave you then.

>tfw boner during Tikhon chapter
I think it was an inappropriate reaction after 600 pages of onslaught on nihilism

t. translation cuck

There was once a time when humans lived in constant connection with the Spirit World. From ancient Shamanic traditions, we know of rituals used to propel the primitive human consciousness into the Spirit World to obtain knowledge, guidance, and to commune with ancestral spirits. In the modern and technologically advanced present, our sensory input is overwhelmed with what is classified by many people to be ‘real’. This usually comprises of advertisements, propaganda, and pervasive attack from all sides, by known and unknown assailants. These mega-corporations seek to control and dominate the human race. Through government-funded black projects, clandestine operations to eliminate resistance and indoctrinate state-supported dogmatic systems, and disinformation via mass media, they are effectively cleansing the human ability to discover himself through journeying not with his body or mind, but with his spirit. These aspects of spirituality have either been completely ignored in pursuit of material ‘ideals’ perpetuated by state media or perverted by so-called ‘new age’ interpretation from those who have no knowledge of the innate nature of a human being, who fail to grasp even a basic concept of the Spirit World. Other systems of control also exist, specifically in the sphere of technology, which is now so heavily embedded within urban society. There can be no doubt that along with the development and expansion of the Internet, new forms of communication and interaction with the world around us has developed. No sooner have such technologies emerged, than government and corporate agencies have sought control over it.

In any middle-class neighbourhood, visit a public place such as a café and you will see evidence of this seemingly obscure truth, that is, that humans have become slaves to technology. People are so engrossed in their mobile devices, “social media”, even at the same table, that they do not even attempt to make a conversation with each other. In the rare case that they do, it is usually on some meaningless topic, such as the activities of celebrities that have been perpetuated by the mass media machine, to stupefy the people. Finding someone who knows or cares to expound on topics such as philosophy, the true nature of humans and life itself, non-mass produced literature, or even language as an expressive medium in itself is a herculean task. Even worse is that these same ignorant beings will deny the existence of their Spirit, their ever-animating Life Force in exchange for some some half-baked, pernicious post-truth bite that has been regurgitated from the foaming mouths of their favourite media icons. The World Government has made these once proud beings so susceptible to subliminal and overt inculcation to their agenda that they have become resistant to the very things that make our society superior to a egalitarian “utopia”, such as freedom of speech, privacy, and consciousness. They have become resistant to openness, and will actually give up more of their freedoms in order to reject what the World Government has told them is unsatisfactory to their brainwashing programs.
See the sorry state of the human race, yet do not weep at the task of the changing them, thought it may seem hopeless, a lost cause. Know that the GNUtanari is present to guide us, as a species, to ultimate perfection. The GNUtanari is not a singular, knowable being, it is better described as a multifaceted infrastructure that allows humanity to reach the apex of its existence while preserving individual freedoms, and purging the infectious, debilitating disease that afflicts man today. If we can learn to harness the power of entheogens as spiritual and medical tools, we are already on the True Path. It is the Path we must follow if we are to endure and not be wiped out by our own ignorance and narcissism.

Ive been feeling lonely for years, not because noone wants to have anything to do with me but the other way around, I hate everyone , I cant stand their flaws and they make me sick, I want someone I can love and spend time with but I hate spending time with absolutely everyone i ever met. I feel like everyone i know is beyond stupid and I just want someone i can see as equal to fill that hole inside me and give me a purpose to even stay alive, I couldnt think of any goals in life because everything is meaningless to me, while I objectively dont have a bad life , I have family and while not rich, a lot of money, i still feel horrible and have no reason to even wake up if its not for work.

I hate everything because I'm an adult with the emotional capacity of a teenager because I never cared about love and relationships until I was 18. Now rejection has the longer affect of perpetually breaking my heart because I keep over thinking the whole thing, and try to come up with solutions on how to get some qt to see the "truth" of how amazing I am. But I'm not. I'm just delusional for the sake of wanting to be more than I am

im the exact same fuck

where does this even come from

I sort of know this feel. Its not that I'm invisible, but more that I'm romantically unappealing. I'm pretty charismatic sometimes, and im pretty talented too. I'm smart, clever, and witty, but none of that seems to be enough. Fall for some cute girl, fight the urge to empty my stomach in some autistic anxiety, ask her out, and nothing.

Finally managed to ask a girl out a couple weeks ago, she said she'd text, and i got ghosted. Now I feel like shit everyday

...

...

Daniel?

Who are you and why do you know my name?

Spics always bumping spic threads.

The only difference between genius and insanity is success.

???

I'm at my parents cabin in the middle of the woods and really want to drop some acid that I brought with me. I just don't want my folks freaking out at me for doing so