What's the heterosexual way to eat a banana?

The heterosexual way is to eat it how you like it and to stop thinking about dicks all the time faggot

like corn on the cob

I usually just slide the whole thing into my mouth.

Slide it as far down your throat as you can. Then you take the peel off and take normal bite sizes.

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If you're worried about how you look while you eat a banana, you are not heterosexual

This.

OP if you're too insecure about your sexuality that eating a banana makes you feel gay, then you are unironically a giant faggot.

Peel it then take little chunks off with your hands until its done.

that's how i eat my bananas, except i do peel them first.
thanks user

Peel it, hold it like how you eat the wings and chow it from the middle. Ignore the wet cunts that stare you down, they're just admiring your manliness.

I cut them with a butter knife and put the pieces into my oatmeal, which I then eat with a spoon.

Just don't eat bananas OP

Have your mom cut it for you tho, even if you hold it it's kind of gay.

w-what's on his hair......

>eating anything remotely shaped like a dick

what are you, a FAAAAAAAAGG?????

It's only gay if you peel it first.

Sideways, but in your case it wont matter because

>butter knife

Gay as fuck, cut it with a chainsaw you sissy

my brother told me as a kid to cut the end off before sticking it in a pussy because the end part tears it up, i guess he just brought that up to brag about fucking his gf with a banana.

ladbible.com/entertainment/music-egyptian-pop-singer-jailed-for-two-years-over-explicit-music-video-20171213

The singer, Shyma - real name Shaimaa Ahmed - was found guilty of inciting debauchery and publishing an indecent film, and was also fined 10,000 Egyptian pounds (£420) for the video, according to local news sources.

The court in Cairo gave the same sentence to the director of the video, Mohamed Gamal. Both are able to appeal the ruling.

Shyma was relatively unknown in the African country until the release of the video, which caused outrage in Egypt for its explicit content.

The video for Shyma's song 'I Have Issues' showed Shyma dancing in clothes and in underwear before pouring milk over a banana and eating it, licking an apple and suggestively tasting the icing on a piece of chocolate cake.

The Egyptian blogger and presenter Marwan Younis posted a video on Facebook calling for his followers to report the singer's Facebook page, which led to being successfully shut down.

Shyma apologised after criticism from lawmakers and media alike but was still arrested shortly after the release of the video. The 20-something singer from Tanta, northern Egypt, is a former contestant of Arab Idol, Egypt's equivalent of The X Factor.

According to The Telegraph, Shyma was seen in court covering her face with a niqab and reading the Quran while waiting to receive her prison sentence.

Shyma is only the latest Egyptian artist to be prosecuted for 'inciting debauchery' with sexually explicit music videos. In 2015, two bellydancers were arrested and sentenced to six months in prison for similar charges.

Peel it all the way, and cram the whole fucking thing in your mouth. That way it's all in your mouth and it doesn't look like a dick to onlookers.

Peel the banana and tear marshmallow-sized pieces off.
If you disagree you're gay haha

There is none, just accept it

Break in half, and then into thirds

Cause that's something to brag about

Eat it with a spoon, it has the added benefit of keeping your fingers clean.

Remove the peel and eat it like a cob of corn. No one will call you gay that way.

Your brothers a virginal retard. Best effects are with cucumbers. True story.

by punching it into mush and slamming your face down onto the table to eat it like an animal

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How do you break it into thirds

With a fork and knife. How do you eat it, with your hands?

Apply slight pressure and it naturally breaks apart into three sections.

You don't have to suck on it, you know

The same way you eat a popsicle.

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Just fucking eat it
Why do you have to think about dick all the time? You're gayer than the fucking gays if you spend all your time worrying about looking gay.

What the fuck

Call it a faggot and hit it a bunch. Then when nobody is looking, deep throat it/slam it up your ass.

This is the ONLY way to do this

>Apply slight pressure
Like you do to prostates? That's pretty gay bruh

it's only gay if it touches your teeth

Put a skirt on it so it's not gay

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just scream "NO HOMO" before eating but swallow the whole banana like a snake and just give death glares if anyone tries to question your heterosexuality

By looking every nearby male in the eyes simultaneously.

Stupid whore bimbo didn't even or it first I fucking hate women

-place banana on a flat surface
-make sure several people are nearby before you do this
-punch the banana 5 times; center, right, left, right end, left end
-pop the cap off of your beer
-take a chug
-scoop up the remains of your banana and stuff it all into your mouth, peel and all
-chew until it stops tasting like the fruit inside
-spit the peel into the trash
-leave the remains of your beer on the table (for the twitter screencappers)
-walk away

Refrain from fucking it while you eat it.

Not sucking it off.

This is the gayest thing I have ever heard